mine

yours

[iailwtos]

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.

Andy Warhol

[hvllander]

this was their last kiss before the "we didn't even kiss" scene in vegas. girl i would have been devastated too.

[fucklife101]

I feel like I’m drowning again. I’m falling back into old, bad habits, losing motivation to do anything again and my self esteem has gone completely out the window. I’m not sure how to survive this time.

[iailwtos]

Titre 001

I don't feel well. I feel crowed up against, controlled, overwhelmed. But at the same time I feel alone. I'm just not abled to socialize. I do though, but mostly to ask questions. I'm not awkward, at least I don't think I am. I don't consider myself overly shy, but I am however overly introverted. Sometimes I just want to scream at my family to just get out, get out of the house, go somewhere, let me have some time alone. But last time I tried explaining what I was feeling, they thought it was a joke and then shamed me for it because that's just not what we do. Am I really that wrong for wanting to be alone? Over the years I'd say its gotten worse. The only way I can acquire alone time is by staying at school until 11pm trying to practice or study. For some reason, the people that stay that long are mostly in groups, so it gets really depressing for me. I'm studying at school to not be around people, but then I get jealous and mad because I don't have anyone. From 7am to 11pm, I am all alone. I wish to find someone with who to connect, but I don't even try. How fucked up is that. I'm whining about something that's my fault.

I tried getting help. But the places that offer the help I need have a schedule that is not compatible with mine. And just to make it worse, the only person that has voiced their concern about me was a teacher. Although it was a financial concern, and he tried to help, to connect me to some people so that I can get the help I needed. Those people haven't gotten to me yet, but I more than appreciated the help. He saw me and I'm grateful for it. But if he saw it, shouldn't parents have seen it too? Once, I told my mom, I feel like I'm troubled, please I want to see our doctor. I explained to her my concern and what I was feeling and other stuff I noticed, and looked at me and said ok, we'll go. During the appointment, after the wellness check, my mom started talking, about how I told her some stuff and that she saw those symptoms on my sister. She told the doctor, that she was worried because the symptoms that I descried applied to my sister but she had never seen them on me. So could we get two forms so that my other daughter can also fill it. So it ended up being mostly my younger sister that got treatment. I'm glad she has the help she needed but I also wanted some.

[iailwtos]

class 004

So the section decided to meet outside of school grounds in the name of productivity since there’s a teacher strike. We met at one of the girl’s house. We talked about some stuff, waiting for the rest to arrive. When they finally did, we started looking at different stuff that our teacher had said we should work on. After a while, we took a break, a smoke break, for those that did ofc. As i result, i stayed all alone with another guy, he was in my previous school so we sort of gossiped about some stuff. Then the roommate came out… aaaand now im realizing this is stupid. I crave interaction so i end up craving whoever gives it to me. He said i played well, and it seemed genuine. That made me happy. All the other things i was going to say aren’t relevant anymore. Main idea today is that a simple compliment made me happy.

[thelostsmiles]

Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman at the script read-through for Sherlock season 4

[iailwtos]

<3

[iailwtos]

class 006

It's still so embarrassing to go to class, i swear i try my best but its still hard. Today i was paired out with this girl, since the beginning of the session i wanted to be paired up with her, but she was so mean. She looked annoyed. As if being next to me was the horrible-lest thing that could happen at that moment. I felt humiliated, I'm not only a slow partner, but also an unlikable one. Maybe she just had a bad day, or maybe I'm just exaggerating. But today, i was behind him.

When I think about it, it's weird that I like him. Do I even? I've never spoken to him. All that's happened is that i catch him staring or vice versa. And like I said, it's as if it was anyone else. But I feel different when I look at him, or when he stares at me. Maybe he's weirded out by me or just has pity because of my "skills" in class, but all the same, I am somehow attracted to him. I'm going to look back on this in a couple years or even months, and I'm going to realize it was probably nothing. But I really can't help but think about him- wait no, not think about him... more like, wonder about him. I wouldn't consider it a crush, just a sort of nice thought. A nice thing to think about. Oh I have class with him tomorrow. That kind of stuff. I wish to be his friend, I think that's what it is. I want a friend.

[heavensghost]

just saw myself from an angle I didn’t like and now I have to fight the suicidal thoughts

[sweeterthansucrose]

'You can't unite the whole Sherlock fandom with one sentence.'

'It is what it is.'

(insert silent screaming here)

[iailwtos]

class 006

Today I almost cried in class. They are all quite literally better than me. They are all in more advanced classes than me except for this one in particular. Meanwhile, I'm in all of the low levels classes. I'm entering an industry where comparing yourself to others is inevitable. But it always hurts.

Every class is the same dilemma, we get in, and nobody sits next to me, unless there's no other place available.

I feel them staring because I don't talk with anyone, because I can't answer fast or because I don't know the answer at all.

I feel them staring and I can almost sense pity.

There's one guy in particular, he caught my attention. Sometimes I catch him staring. It's nothing uncommon. It's just as if i would've catched anyone else staring, but there's something in his eyes. That pity comes from him, so loud I can see it.

She doesn't know what's going on but there's no one to help her.

She sits down and looks at her playing hands.

She shakes when they ask her anything.

Her leg wont stop bouncing.

Her eyes are red.

She's lost.

But there's no one to comfort her.

It's true. I'm mad at him because it's true. Because I can see it in his eyes. People know I'm lonely. Loneliness is not the problem, but their talking stares, they cut me like no other blade would.

[iailwtos]

hi.

I thought about deleting this acc, but ive just changed schools and i no longer have anyone to talk to.

so hello, welcome to my life.

[sexwithstilinskiandhale]

[sherlockwatsons]

friendly reminder that he was flattered by johns interest

[iailwtos]

Tape 7

[iailwtos]

To him

Tell me I've lost

And with an empty soul

And eyes full of light

I will go on

As if you were never mine

As if I were never yours