Once upon a time, I dreamt of us being together. Those moments that we live with each other; a laugh here, a kiss there, you spanking me on my ass and me squeezing my pussy walls with your cock deep inside. There were moments that my soul was at peace with you around. I just wanted all of you, sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally. I guess it's that Scorpio Moon coming out; that deep sense of self within me that finds the need to possess. But you made it seem like control and possession was such a negative trait, you seemed to miss the fact that I really loved you. I wish you could've helped me channel that into being a Domme. But now I know and hope to use that for good evil and not bad evil. I wish I didn't love you like I do. Maybe I should've listened to everyone around me and left you alone. But right now, I'm writing this in the middle of the night, in the dark, after being in the darkest part of my mind. So these emotions are raw, real, dark and dreary. Just because I can be cordial with you doesn't mean I don't hate your fucking guts right now. I'm sick of being the nice one. I'm sick of your shit. Be patient, you say. I don't give a fuck. I have zero fucks in my pocket. As a matter of fact, I'm negative fucks. People owe me fucks to give. Don't think I haven't recognized that I've been blatantly lied to. And when I respected what we had enough to bring it to your attention, without accusing you, you had the Goddamn audacity to act like it was nothing and really make me think that I am crazy. You we're right about you being fucked up. Let's see how fucked up you are. After the moment I expressed my emotions to you, I've see you have: -5 women (consecutive, some just sex and flings that I didn't fully understand, and some that you were really into) -A birthday party you had for your 40th, when you said you and your Mom went out for dinner together -10+ more women (consecutive and concurrent, one of which is now knocked up and that you conveniently didn't mention) All while telling me you love me while expecting me to be "just your friend". Sure you weren't ready for a relationship, but fuck, don't rub that shit in my face by bringing all these girls around and just telling me they're friends. And when I walked away from you last year, you didn't need to come back asking me for friendship again if you knew you weren't going to change. I guess this is why I hesitate to fuck around in the scene like that. I equate the scene with the bullshit above. And to think that I thought you were me several years back; I can relate with the need to fuck everything. I was hurting and I didn't know how to get help. I was lucky enough to have someone show me how valuable I am, even though it was the worst situation between us. There were terrible arguments. But there was always a level of respect he had that I fucked up by lying over and over and over again. Had I not lied. It was a hard lesson to learn and I found out that the true foundation That respect that I held so highly for you has decimated to it's lowest levels. That moment when I said I don't trust you is because deep down I lost a lot of respect for you. I tried my hardest to put my feelings aside and gave you space to just fuck around. What a fucking joke. I think of you as a liar. A cheater. You selfish bastard. Really, who the fuck would give you all her time, while giving you the space you needed, while being as patient as possible (understanding your needs, your fears, your situation). All while being a better woman than all the fucking bitches you so deeply loved COMBINED. Look around you. Any of these hoes got your back like I did? I mean do any of them have real class like me? Any of them got it going on like me? If they do, they truly don't want shit to do with you. If they did, I wouldn't even have to write this manifesto because they would be there and I would've never made it this far. I am in disbelief that you are in my heart like this, to this day. But I'm starting to think that you and I weren't meant to be together. We were just meant to be. You were a lesson. When a man isn't ready, he isn't ready. Loving him better than any woman in his life ain't got shit to do with it. Supporting all his efforts ain't got shit to do with it. Attempting to keep him focused doesn't mean anything. Trying to make him a better man doesn't work either. And most importantly, teaching him the importance of being positive in his life (and watching him be more positive) doesn't matter. If he wants you, he'll want you and you won't have a single doubt in your mind. He'll have respect for you. He'll know what buttons to push and he'll know how to be a man about things. He'll know how to treat a woman. He'll know what someone of substance looks like. He won't keep secrets. He'll be honest. He'll be kind. He'll be supportive. And he'll be true.
izzy806
gummygunk
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
kaledo-art
baratheonpilled
