i_am_penny

offloading my thoughts from my ever wondering mind.... love, life, art, passion, fashion and design... its limitless,,

[iamtoddie]

My heart aches deeply, for the trust that once bound us together has shattered into irreparable fragments. In a marriage, love may fade, but when trust dissipates, the very foundation crumbles, leaving us adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Actions speak louder than words, and your consistent pattern of inconsistency speaks volumes. We all have our limits in life, and when we find ourselves endlessly pleading for change, yet met with silence, we must forge our own path to healing and onward.

In truth, as I embark on this journey of self-restoration, it becomes increasingly challenging to see you through the lens of the person I once adored. The moment you exploited my decision to remain by your side, my love for you began to fade. You have inflicted a scar upon my soul, one that cannot be erased, and left a dent that defies repair.

One day, you shall awaken to a reality where I am but a distant memory, no longer present in your world.

I no longer harbor love for you...

[iamtoddie]

[iamtoddie]

Trust

If you go searching you would definitely find something. Sometimes things way us down in our hearts and as much as we want to believe that things have change it’s never really does.. Trust is very fragile and people tend to take it for granted. It’s pretty messed up but that’s life..

[iamtoddie]

My Peace

I am in a strong battle with myself in search for inner peace. A battle so detrimental to my health and mental state. I can’t stand what I see in the mirror. I have disappointed too many people because I have lost focus on who I am and what I am meant to be.

How do you begin a search for something you know nothing about. Life feels like a drag and I wonder the point and reason why people choose to continue. I am TIRED.

Its easy to pick on me because I feel that layer of toughness that most people have been able to develop has refuse to develop in me.

I can’t deal!!! I need help

HELP ME!!

[iamtoddie]

Are you HAPPY?

That’s one question I can’t seem to answer. My mind is very far, I am lost within myself. I can’t feel anything anymore.

Living in autopilot mode, wake up - hustle - survive and repeat. I am TIRED.

What’s keeping me alive? Another question I can’t answer, is there a purpose for me? This is something I find hard to to explore to see reason... like I said I am TIRED.

My happiness is on vacation and I long for it to come back to me. I need it to come back.

I am TIRED of pretending...

[iamtoddie]

I can’t deal!!!

[iamtoddie]

Escape

I need to run away.. run away from the thoughts in my head. Yes the ones that are weighing me down. I can’t live like this.

All my life I always felt that I had to prove myself to everyone, to my family, to my teachers, to my friends, to my colleagues and now to my husband.

I am tired and don’t think I can take it anymore I need to get away from myself..

I need an escape plan...

[iamtoddie]

Just saying!! Only come for me when you got your shit together...

[iamtoddie]

Lost

It’s hard trying to put words together to describe how I feel. Sometimes I bury my head and wonder if anyone would notice something is wrong. I can’t scream, I can’t cry out because I don’t want to attract the wrong attention.

What’s happening to me? I am lost.. I don’t know who to turn to. Who will understand what’s going on in my head. My faith is being tested. I don’t know how I am going to do..

I need to be saved from myself. Don’t worry I am not going to physically harm myself . I rather prefer the thought of just leaving this earth in my sleep.

Just letting this all out of my head.. Need some head space.

[iamtoddie]

Lovers tale

It’s a choice we all make..

To be with you or not to be with you. You disrespect me and don’t seem to care of the hurt you have cost me. You feel if I give her space she would calm down. This is more than space this is owing your mistake and apologizing. Not some flimsy excuse of an apology.

The more you stay silent the more I slip away. The more I go into my cocoon the more I begin to let go and then stop loving you. You put me in a position of distrust, where I have to ask myself if I would feel and see you the same way. Every time you walk away that all I see you doing.

I truly am disappointed..

Bye lover boy

You cant seem to understand the value of what you have…

[iamtoddie]

Joker face

Raise your head up and smile. Make it look so convincing it all seems alright. Be yourself but not too much so as not to leave a bad impression. Laugh hard but not to hard so that it doesn't seem almost fake. Listen but try not to look lost in your own thoughts. Apologize even if it hurts you deep inside to do so. Make it look real. When your in your own quiet space you can release yourself. You can scream and shout.. Let it all out.. Your in your own fortress. No one can gain access except from you. No gets to see the real you except from you.... Put on your joker face and get ready for the next day....

[iamtoddie]

Enough

The moment you feel you have to be careful about the things you say and the way you act then you know it's time to take a huge step back..

[adamjk]

[iamtoddie]

Life is a mystery.. No one knows tomorrow but we go to bed every night with faith that it would be good day..

[iamtoddie]

#wordsofwisdomwednesday #lookinguptotheheavens #guidemypathlord #morningmeditation

[iamtoddie]

#truth

[raisedbymyths-deactivated201812]

Skvís poster by Siggi Eggertsson

[blackandwhite-cf]

[iamtoddie]

May your new year be beautiful and may you be blessed with the wings to fly high and surpass your expectations