I've left the RP world. Thank you for having me here, for talking to me, for befriending me. These past two years have been nice. x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x Happy One Year Anniversary, mochi x x x x I’m scared this world is meaningless. Take me to where you are: a place with the moon and stars. + I dream of you.
A smile spreads across my lips, you're breathing with me now.
Time, please stop, don't divide him and I.
Wind, stop blowing, this is my last letter to you.
Ahh...Sorry to everyone on mobile. This probably takes up a lot of dash space. So I'm sorry for the...inconvenience, I guess?
It's not really meant to be read by anyone, but I hate keeping this kind of thing bottled up inside me. I have this stupid hope the person I want to read this will actually see it.
Happy one year anniversary, yeobo.
It's been four months since I found out, and about seven months since we last spoke, but I still love you as much as when I met you.
While it's true that I try not to think about you all the time because it hurts to do so, you're still a person I'll always fondly remember. I talked to your brother, and I talked to your friend, and I know (I hope) you wouldn't purposefully leave me for seven months without saying anything, but...I still have this hope that you're alive. It's crazy, but that small piece of hope makes me feel a little better.
I'm angry at you, by the way. You know you would've still been here if you hadn't done something so silly? You're such a good guy to listen to your friends, but I wish you had been selfish for once and done what you wanted to do instead. You stupid punk. Did you know I was planning to propose to you after we dropped Sarang off at your parent's house?
Sarang just turned one, by the way. She's pretty active, and likes to sing in her baby language, and dance around...But I think she misses you too.
This family is supposed to have three bears, y'know...Just Umma Bear and Baby Bear aren't enough.
Remember that poem you wrote me? Ah..Well you wrote me a lot of things, but I'm talking about one in particular. The one about dreams.
Here, look...I saved it:
"Never wanting to sleep again
because finally, my reality is better than any dream
Scared of closing my eyes,
scared of losing you,
not wanting this reality to end up just a beautiful dream"
I don't think I ever published this earlier because it made me smile uncontrollably. Every time I missed you earlier, I brought this out, and I was happy for the rest of the day.
Now...Now when I look at this, look back at any of our conversations..
Wanting to sleep all the time
Because my reality is worse than any nightmare
Scared of opening my eyes
Scared because I've lost you
I want this reality to end up being a horrible nightmare.
(Ah..Fuck..I'm crying as I write this now. You see what you do?)
But...Despite all this pain, I don't regret meeting you. I regret not telling you exactly how much I love you. I regret not telling you I wanted to marry you sooner. I regret not being able to spend as much time with you as I would've liked. I regret not getting to know you even better.
But I don't regret meeting you at all.
You've made me a better person, after all. You made me start seeing the good in people automatically, you made me try to stop holding grudges. Y'know, I was angry at a friend of mine for almost a year, but this summer, I apologized for being such an asshole, and now we're closer than ever. It's thanks to you, honestly.
People tell me that we were a cute couple and stuff. I liked to think we had a good relationship too, despite not being able to talk to each other too often.
I hope I was truly able to make you happy.
You definitely made me happy. You gave me an innocent, pure love (except for the times you teased me...punk..). You filled me up with joy, and just seeing you made me feel giddy.
I feel like I'm being repetitive now...Am I?
So, uhm...Yeah...
Lee Seunghyun, Seungriyah, my sweet Mochi panda, my Jerry and even your typist (Ahh, I'm embarrassed...)...
Thank you for making me simply happy. Thank you for making this song-writer speechless. Thank you for making me your dumpling, your lion, your dragon, your Jihanna, your Tom. Thank you for loving me.
I try to smile for you the best I can. I know one day this wound will heal, but I promise, I'll never forget you.
I'll be leaving RP the world, most likely permanently unless Seungri comes back. I'm not deactivating though, because I do have some nice memories here. If you still want to be friends or whatever, I can follow you from my personal tumblr. If not, it was really nice getting to know you guys.
izzy806
prguitarman
dailybridgerton
jacobvanloon
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