Why do you check it? @icheckitbecause - Tumblr Blog

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koke-cola

Honestly the most important video I’ve ever seen…

mayaangelique

Made me cry

lovemystruggle-deactivated20260

Wow

golddessx

This is so powerful

#examples of checking it

I check it because...

rape culture says that a woman's worth is directly correlated to how (little) they wear. This is not ok. If we work together we can eradicate this thinking from our society.

#i check it because #rape culture #objectification of women

I check it because...

I love everyone way too much to watch this society hurt people anymore.

#I check it because #community accountability #iloveeverythingwaytoomuch

I check it because...

I know a lot of people who are willing to hold me accountable for my actions and be accountable for me when I need help, but so many people don't have that. Everyone needs that support group.

#i check it because #community accountability #iloveeverythingwaytoomuch

I checked it!

For the most part guys don’t usually sit around in the locker room having degrading conversations about women. Usually it is a small group of guys talking and the majority is stuck in the locker room with them until we change.

There have been several times when I have either been hanging out or working with a male coworker or friend. Then they point out some attractive looking female nearby. Talking about women in a really segmented, objectifying way. Now in the past my usual response was just to shrug my shoulders and say whatever because I was taught if you have nothing nice to say, then you don’t say anything at all.

But after a time it got to be rather annoying to hear these degrading remarks going on and on. Then have the guys asking me what I thought about whatever particular woman was in their sights.

After a time I came up with a way of discouraging people from doing this around me. Whenever someone would make a degrading comment about a woman and ask me for my option on the woman or women. I would look in the general direction of the described woman, shrug and simply reply “I wonder what kind of soup she likes”?

This was awesome in many ways, not only was the look on their faces priceless as they did a double take as the ‘object’ of their ogling suddenly took on a whole new aspect in their minds eye. But it also got them to stop seeing that woman or women as something than other than an object of base desires.

It also had the overall affect of getting guys off the topic of ogling and degrading women. While this was fun for me, it just meant that guys just stopped talking about women around me unless it was a more serious line of questioning. Like what I looked for in women like; personality, likes, hobbies, and other such more quality based questions. I hope in some small way that the dozen or so guys I have done this on helped to get them off the ban wagon of ogling women and seeing them instead as the unique individuals that all women are.

#checked it #distract #objectification of women #Monte W

I didn't check it...

my boyfriend and I were on a date and a man was being really loud and verbal about threatening his kids with physical harm because he thought they were annoying other people in the restaurant

I didn't know what to do because my boyfriend and I are small and the guy was big so we didn't do anything.

Sometimes we get into situations where there's nothing to directly do without the possibility of getting harmed ourselves. That's OK, there's other ways to check the situation.

Here’s a few examples specific to the above situation. Remember: there is no one perfect response – it’s very dependent on our own personality, comfort zone, and what feels right to us in the moment:

• Alert the server. Express to them that you are concerned about the situation.

• Distract the father: If you've never been to the restaurant, ask the father what he likes on the menu. It will give him time to calm down.

(If you are feeling bold you can ask if he needs a moment to compose himself, you can watch over the kids for a minute.)

• Someone could have verbally asked the child(ren) if he or she was alright, not confronting the father but the person being harmed.

#I didn't check it #child abuse #emotional abuse

It can be really hard to CHECK IT.

Sometimes we will not CHECK IT because of all the barriers we experience and that’s okay. We are not responsible for the violence – those who make a choice to commit an act of harm are.

However, we want to create spaces where we as a community can develop more tools to be able to respond in these moments. What’s cool about CHECK IT is that there are multiple ways we can intervene.

3 specific methods are to:

directly address the situation

distract the attention from those involved

delegate - find someone who can help.

#I didn't check it #community accountability

About Us

CHECK IT (the verb): to respond in the moment to potential harm we may witness (specifically sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking). To intervene, to make a choice to do something when we see an absence of consent or a situation where someone may or is being targeted.

CHECK IT WHEN WE SEE A CHECK IT MOMENT.

CHECK IT moment = witnessing an absence of consent or a high risk situation where someone may be targeted/harmed by someone. Witnessing sexual assault, dating violence, stalking = CHECK IT moments. Those moments require action and for us to CHECK IT (intervene/do something).

CHECK IT (as a movement): CHECK IT is a student led project at HSU. It’s about rejecting our culture’s passive acceptance of harm and making it a norm to CHECK IT when we see messed up moments.

CHECK IT is about making clear to those who commit acts of violence that it is not acceptable and we are not going to put up with it in our community.

CHECK IT is about strategizing as a community different ways we can take action when we see potential moments of harm happening around us so that in those moments we have the tools to do something instead of nothing.

CHECK IT is about creating a campus culture that’s more rooted within a sense of community where we all look out for one another and have each other’s backs.

#about

I checked it!

I was dating this guy and after going up on a date we ended up back at his house. We started talking and then things got a bit hot and heated and we started kissing. This was all fine and dandy, I wasn’t drunk or anything like that plus I thought he was cute. That was till he started grabbing my breasts, it was frickin’ painful so I told him no more. He didn’t stop so I tried to tell again only he started French kissing me. So I pull back and stand up saying, “No more I’m done.” and start getting my stuff.

He looks at me totally confused and saying to come back to the couch so we can talk about this. I just stare at him for a moment, and then give him this dirty look. “Next time don’t be so grabby and if a lady tells to no then here is a hint. No means no, means no, means no, MEANS NO!” Turning on my heel I left him on the couch looking utterly stunned.

After that I saw him once or twice since we knew mutual friends but he never called me or talked to me much after that. Hopefully my words of the meaning of ‘no’ stuck in that head of his.

#Monte #rape culture #direct approach #checked it

I checked it!

It was the night of my 21st birthday and after having waaaaay too many drinks, but before the next bathroom break, a guy that I had known in high school and always thought was kind of cute was at the bar we were at. He approached me and asked if I wanted to dance and if he could get my number. Now I was clearly intoxicated, but I smiled, kind of giggled, and said, sure! Well at that moment, one of my friends comes up to me and says, “come on, we're taking a trip to the bathroom and you're going with us.” I try to start and tell her I’m fine, I’ll stay here, and she wasn't having any of it. She took my arm and dragged me out of the bar, away from the guy, all the while giving him a death glare (I guess he was stone sober. I was too drunk to care). As we are all walking to the bathroom, I get a little obnoxious and start to complain about not getting to give my number or dance with the guy. My friend listens, but when we walk past the bar again, she doesn't let me go in to look for him. She says it’s for my best interest. Thinking back, I should have kissed her straight on the mouth. I ran into the guy when I was more sober, and he was not a nice guy. At all. By any stretch of the imagination.

So I got, and he got, checked by a good friend of mine. Who knows what would have happened if she wouldn't have been there.

#check it #community accountabilty #preventing harm #Monte #checked it

I check it because...

I want to be there for women so they don't have to look over their shoulder every day and every night.

#i check it because #community accountability

I check it because...

we don’t about this stuff. Humans created communities to look out for each other. If we do nothing, then we’re not doing our job.

#community accountability #i check it because

Someone checked in with me!

I was sitting on the couch of a friend's place when her mom called and asked to talk to me. I grabbed it and asked what was up, to which she replied with, "Are you okay? I heard that (my now ex-boyfriend) has 6 assaults charges and I'm just making sure you are okay?"

He was never physically abusive, but he was emotionally, and because of that call I was aware of the fact and aware that there were people there for me.

#midnightbluebutterfly #community accountability #support space #domestic abuse #emotional abuse #checked it

Someone checked for me!

I got too drunk at a party, a guy I really liked helped me to a room, helped me to bed, and the shut the door. Later I found out that he guarded the room for the rest of the night.

#community accountability #preventing harm #anon #checked it

I check it because...

1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men being sexually assaulted before the age of 18 is unacceptable.

#community accountability #anon #i check it because

I check it because...

because we're all human and we should be protecting each other.

#community accountability #midnightbluebutterfly #i check it because

I check it because...

I want people to know I have their back.

#community accountability #anon #i check it because

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