[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[idekrn]

I fuckin live in disappointment depending on other people. Yea we know its a trauma response to be the "I got it"/super independent person but how tf yall think we got this way? The ball is always being dropped if I don't go for the shot myself. And yea, this Cancer moon is fucking me up cuz im super emotional right now but this still stands.

[idekrn]

I paid off a credit card today!

[idekrn]

Currently at my old friends condo. She has always inspired me. This feels good. Im so happy for her. She's the "strong" friend so I haven't always been the best friend. But I told her I'm proud of her because I am. She didn't open her birthday gift yet with hidden money so im ready to give that to her. Cheers to a beautiful next few weeks!

[idekrn]

I'm at the age where if I find out I'm pregnant, it SHOULD bring me happiness but I still feel dread. What does that mean? I'm a mom in my head, also...

[idekrn]

My heart is so heavy right now.

[idekrn]

So many ideas, but no CLEAR vision...

I wish I had more guidance on which road to travel first...

[idekrn]

Sitting here watching a true crime TV show...

I can't pinpoint why I love these shows so much but I swear. You watch this shit and think, "how the fuck do i trust men?". And it's always the same story. They start out one way. Nice, charming, giving...whatever. Then after awhile they show themselves. And then I see shit on social media blaming women for "picking" these terrible men and im just like, thats not who they were shown? That's not who the man presented himself as?? That wasn't the same person?

Then if you do research and try to find out about the guy, in the beginning stage, you're labeled as "crazy" or "jealous". These men really be leading double lives though. It's so wicked and insidious.

[idekrn]

I feel like ima be single for a couple years cuz i can't stand these niggas...

[idekrn]

I used to judge bitches in abusive relationships. I get it now....

[idekrn]

sometimes i just wish the nigga would get hit by a truck. atleast i know he'll be gone and i wont be in danger.

[idekrn]

There's a method to the madness and I'm hoping I'm not confusing. I'm just tryna get what I need/want til its time. This nigga is NOT staying. Idc if i NEVER i have kids...bring me my real love!

Sorry for the confusion. Shit gonna hit him like a BOMB. Should've been real...

Welp.

[idekrn]

It is so heartwarming that someone who doesn't even know you personally would think to check in on you. Even more because they noticed you were posting less or differently...like. wow.

I need friends like that in life.

[idekrn]

All Jesus do is hold me down...i be wasting time worrying...gotta stop that...

[idekrn]

I think I really need to live alone. I never realized how much I NEED my solitude. But rent in NYC...

[idekrn]

Why do we feel so guilty saying no to family? Even when there's no reciprocity?

[idekrn]

Really gotta look at myself after quarantine. So much to do, so much to get rid of...it really be you sometimes...