[ . . . ] / UP TO SOMETHING .

a private multimuse   .   sideblog to revoide  .  pages under construction as of august 7, 2021

[idiocie]

REDWEBS.

  [ USER:   UNTAMED_FOX01001 ] ay, shiloh,  there’s something a brewing.    information overload frequent across internet servers, deep hosted in the darkest parts of the net - secured and encrypted for limited access.   underground buzzing of activities around the globe, transactions in and out, something bigger than finances seemingly just within reach - something so big that it required more than my usual talents, some leg work and some weaponry.       i’d rarely left my home, efficient enough in what i did that i never had a reason to take my work on the road -   not when i had the likes of jade and her crew ;   or my favoured counterpart - tali.       quick and efficient just as i was.         my room remained dim, lit only with the LED strip lights around ceiling and the backlight of my computer ; preferred it this way, maintained that mysterious glow of illusion, besides - the light would give away too much.     showcase too much of a pale complexion and sunken dark circles under my eyes from lack of slumber.                     eyes and fingers remain trained on screen and keys   [ … ENCRYPTED NETWORK : ENTER PASSWORD ]          ❝  NATURALLY , they always slip up at some point ,   it’s easy if you know where to look  ❞        gaze turns momentarily to focus on tali with hint of a smirk ;   she’d get it, i’m sure.   an underground trafficking ring, funded by big banks and corporate elites, right under our noses and they’d attempted to bury it, attempted to cover tracks with off shore bank accounts or connecting parties in different countries.   i’d have to give them some kind of credit, it was mildly clever.    idiotic but clever nonetheless.         ❝  RIGHT ,  i’ve tracked patterns within some of the larger banks here in toronto, cross referencing with those in the united states and even as far as england.  i’m suggesting a freeze on the assets of a select few individuals, re-wiring of funds and potential outing of some others.   ❞             [ DEPOSIT:  $500,000 CAD INTO ACCOUNT 0012566 ]   a hit transaction?      this one served a positive purpose, i’ll let it slide.   i’m not going to argue with half a million in my pocket.                        ❝  WE NEED TO BE STRATEGIC ABOUT IT ,   –  COVER OUR ASSES,  ❞

TALIBA.          there was a ghost of a smile on her face as shiloh turned to her.          that smile had belonged to another lifetime,  another version of herself that people who used to call themselves her friends and people who were actually shaping up to be her friends have assured her existed at one point.          BUT SHE WAS DEAD ALL THE SAME AND SO WAS THAT SMILE.          these days her world was little more than her dark room,  her computers,  and whatever job the woman sitting across from shiloh had recently taken up.          it was a simple world,  but a dreadfully dark one,  too.          for every beautiful diamond there was to steal from some fat cat who wouldn’t even know the difference between a real gem and a fake one without his hired experts,  there were dozens. . .     no,  hundreds of people who became collateral damage in the middle,  and hundreds of dollars scammed out of the hands of the people who had earned and needed every cent.          that,  too,  was her world.

she had jolted at the sound of her name;   jade had spoken her presence into existence,  but it was for naught.          she stretched her hands over the cover of her laptop,  fingers curling around the edge in preparation to present her findings even as she listened to shiloh speak about the funds.          FREEZING THE ASSETS?          her gaze shot over to jade,  the other woman’s face ghostly in the glow of the monitors,  but otherwise completely unreadable.          it wasn’t at all a bad idea in tali’s opinion,  but who knew what went on in that woman’s mind?

for a moment,  no one said anything.          in the quiet and in the dark,  tali feared she might grow drowsy the way she did when left idle for too long.          was there something she could say,  something she could mention?          she had no expressed interest in filling any silence,  uncomfortable or not,  but there was something about be here with shiloh that urged her to be a little more. . .     present.          tali prepared to open her mouth.

“     WHICH ASSETS?     ”          no,  that wasn’t her;    JADE HAD SPOKEN.

                             “     STRATEGIC IS RIGHT.     OUR TIMING WOULD BE HAVE TIGHT.     ”          ɪᴍᴘᴇᴄᴄᴀʙʟᴇ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ,     tali thought,  fully prepared to follow this line of thought down the rabbit hole when jade turned to her with a gleam in her eye.   “     depending on who we freeze,  the others will either find out immediately that someone is onto them or we can make ourselves a nice little window.     either way,  we need to be ready to move the moment we freeze the assets...  ”          WHICH ASSETS,  WHICH INDIVIDUALS.          tali already had her laptop open,  one hand holding it steady while the other flew over the keyboard.          she approached shiloh’s desk and slid her laptop onto a free corner of it;   on the screen was a page of the people she suspected were in on this organization.          “     I’VE ISOLATED TWO OF THE LEADERS SO FAR,  BUT I’M THINKING THERE’S AT LEAST THREE,     ”  tali said,  her voice thin and low;   she straightened away from her laptop so that the other two could see.      “     . . .  if we’re looking for lower - level chumps who won’t notice their frozen assets for while. . .     I'D SUGGEST THE FOURTH GENTLEMAN FROM THE LEFT ON THE FIFTH ROW,    𝙴𝚅𝙰𝙽 𝙶𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝚆𝙸𝙲𝙺.     ”

[plusplusbonjour]

I’m literally crying. (le passé devant nous)

[el-im]

Never Say Never Again (1983) dir. Irvin Kershner

- The release of ALCM’s has to come from the president himself, and even that has safeguards. It can only be authorized after a scan of his right eye.  - If this Pitachi was involved, is it conceivable that he could have used a false eye? - Oh, do come along, Bond! Let’s think of a more logical explanation, shall we?

[idiocie]

VERVAENE.

though  her  body  itself  shivered  violently,      sweat  beaded  on  her  forehead  and  matted  strands  of  hair  against  her  temple.        it  felt  like  a  permanent  winter  had  nested  itself  in  the  hollow  of  her  rib  cage  and  no  matter  what  she  did,      it  wouldn’t  leave  her.        had  jules  had  the  strength,      she  would  have  shaken  off  the  woman’s  hand  just  to  be  sure  it  wasn’t  ava,      but  her  arms  and  legs  felt  like  lead  and  she  couldn’t  deny  that  the  weight  of  that  hand  gave  her  some  comfort.        her  face  contorted  as  much  as  her  exhausted  body  would  allow  at  the  comment.        “    ALRIGHT?    ”      she  croaked  out  in  a  hoarse  voice.      “    what  about  this  makes  you  say  that?        did  she  send  you  here  to  say  that?      to  play  good  cop  so  you  can  take  another  sample?    ”

with  great  strength,      jules  managed  to  push  away  the  unfamiliar  gentle  hand  and  frowned.        the  woman  looked  so  much  like  jade,      but  the  room  around  her  was  spinning  so  she  couldn’t  be  sure.        “    HAVEN’T  YOU  TAKEN  ENOUGH  FROM  ME?    ”      black  smoke  sparked  at  her  fingertips  weakly,      then  snaked  up  each  digit  as  if  ink  had  been  injected  into  her  bloodstream.        “    HASN’T  SHE  DONE  ENOUGH?    ”

JADE.          sooner or later,  you always ventured into some unknown;   this world was not as small as those who rule it would have you believe.          THERE WERE STILL PLACES TO EXPLORE,  PLENTY OF SPACE TO HIDE IN.          there was still plenty to learn,  maybe a little too late,  and you only learn of the sound it makes the moment before it kills you.          jade supposed that when it comes down to it,  she’d rather be the one doing the killing than the one being killed.          ʙᴜᴛ ꜱʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ ʜᴇʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ʙʏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄʜᴏꜱᴇ.          

jules.  .  .           jules had chosen the latter.

she watched as the shadows raced up her friend’s arm,  her own heart pounding like it was anticipating that shadow reaching its own meat and blood,  instead.          she did not reach for her again,  but moved as far as the little space allowed her to go.        SHE.          𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚂𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝙰𝚅𝙰 𝙼𝙾𝙽𝙳𝙰𝚈.          the scientist had promised as much the last they had had the misfortune to cross paths.          she just never imagined that she’d come back to them at such an oblique angle,  and to harm who was undeniably the strongest member of their team.                    “     IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH,     ”          she replied as gently as she could without risking losing her voice to the storm going on inside jules’ head.          “     but you already know that.     that’s why we have to get you out,  jules.     ”

[idiocie]

VERVAENE.

the  fireplace  crackled  to  her  right  and  the  flickering  light  of  the  flames  cast  a  warm  glow  onto  their  skin.      there  was  a  breath  of  silence  between  them  before  her  eyes  cast  their  gaze  upwards  at  last.        she  looked  up  at  him  through  the  curtain  of  her  bangs  —  cautious  but  curious.        “    IF  NOT  TO  MAKE  YOUR  DISPLEASURE  KNOWN,      THEN  WHAT  DID  YOU  MEAN?    ”        they  had  designed  quite  the  artful  and  delicate  dance,      tip-toeing  on  the  edge  of  each  other’s  comfort  zones.        viviane  would  take  a  tentative  step  forward,      then  liam  would  push  back  in  most  unconventional  ways.        her  head  tilted  slightly,      the  act  in  itself  almost  feline  in  nature.        in  a  soft  voice  she  posed  another  question:        “    IS  IT  POSSIBLE  YOU  MEANT  THAT  YOU  CAN’T  GET  ME  OFF  YOUR  MIND?    ”

LIAM.          it was a serious fault within his habits that he should require such drastic lengths of time to consider the answer to any question at hand.          𝙶𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝙷𝙸𝙼 𝚃𝚆𝙾 𝚃𝙾 𝙵𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝙱𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙳𝙰𝚈𝚂,     was what lucille liked to say.          he was not yet finished mulling over the first inquiry when the second came like a merciless blow to the head after he’d already been whammed in the solar plexus.          several signs of distress overcame the dark - haired scholar,  an image of himself coming to mind wherein he was a miniature version of himself,  running on a gerbil’s wheel,  and the wheel spinning out of control,  his body flattened against the cheap plastic by centripetal force,  spinning into oblivion.          HE BLINKED AND OPENED HIS MOUTH IN A HALF - GRIMACE.          ɪꜱ ɪᴛ ᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ. . .          “     YES?     IT IS SURELY POSSIBLE THAT THAT IS WHAT I MEANT.     one possibility.     ”

[idiocie]

VERVAENE.

“    yes,    we’re  still  talking  about  the  wedding  jade,    ”        she  snapped  irritably.        in  recent  weeks,      viviane’s  mood  had  shifted  gradually.        the  soft,      kind,      and  excitable  girl  had  grown  weary,      jumpy,      distant  as  the  wedding  day  drew  nearer.        everyone  else  had  chalked  it  up  to  nerves  because  family  politics  were  involved,      but  she  couldn’t  help  but  feel  like  there  was  something  else  —  something  deeper.        she  let  out  a  huff  and  pressed  the  palm  of  her  hand  against  her  forehead.        “    I'm  sorry.        I  didn't  mean  to  snap  at  you.        I  just  want  to  prepare  myself  properly  for  this,      because  my  head  has  felt  so  crowded.        if  there’s  a  chance  that  I  may  not  make  it  out  of  this,      I  really  want  to  know.    ”

JADE.          𝙼𝚈 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝚁,  𝙸 𝙰𝙼 𝚃𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽,  𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙺𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝙴𝚈𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙰 𝙼𝙾𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙲𝚄𝚁𝚅𝙴𝙳 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝚂𝙲𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙴,  𝙹𝙰𝙳𝙴 𝚃𝙰𝙾,  𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙸𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙰 𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙳 𝚆𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽.          she tries to be and it kills her,  dear one,  it wounds her.          IS THERE ANY WAY SHE CAN IGNORE THE SHARP TASTE OF BLOOD AS IT RISES?          you have made the mistake of inciting her with the scent of your irritation,  the snap of your jaw,  teeth clattering,  eye - lids peeled back,  twin flames.

her mouth nearly pulls back to bare her teeth at viviane’s sharp tone,  but she comports herself just in time.          SHE DOES,  HOWEVER,  HOWL INWARDLY AT THE SOUND OF THAT USELESS APOLOGY.          no,  she was not a kind woman,  but at the very least,  she did not expect kindness from others and especially not for nothing.          disappointed,  jade sighed,  but you,  dearest one,  are welcome to understand her sudden deflation however you wish.        the table creaked under jade’s weight as her shoulders dropped,  her hands digging deeper into the pockets of her trousers.          her head shakes,  but the motion is so minute there is a good chance that jade herself was not aware of it.          SILENCE STRETCHES.        

“     NO,  VI,  THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT YOU WILL NOT MAKE IT OUT OF THIS.  it’s a fucking wedding,  vi.     i realize it might feel like the end of the world to you,  but it has been long out of fashion to kill a bride for any sort of power gain at the wedding itself.     now,  if you’re done questioning the team’s resolve and my own ability to keep you alive. . .     DID YOUR MOTHER FINALLY CONFIRM A VENUE?     ”

[idiocie]

NIVOZE.

                                                   (       …       )

i am an appendage    .            wanned, worn, a wasteland    .          i am aching     ⸻      i am an ache   .          woman, &    wound     .          all alone     .

what is grief if not a wound    ?         raw, ready to bleed, to bury itself in bone incurable as an illness    .            reminder stands, whatever it is you mourn is with you, is you, engraved into the fabric of your being, into each and every fiber    .             (        𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑:          wound is a woman grieving    .           wound is woman    .            )          the wound …

the wound is when the mother dies, the mother dies, and she is four    .          the wound is when she is eleven, &    holding the grandfather’s hand, as he goes, as he is gone, refusing to let go    .          the wound is the son she never gets to cradle, the wound is the brother, buried, buried, buried  . . .  this death, it is my curse, my camaraderie, yet it is not i, never i dying    .

since the funeral, she has not spoken a sentence    .        veiled in silence, a void- self standing in her image, immaculate, &    indomitable    .        they sat in there for …  hours   ?        days    ?       weeks    ?        she did not know, the knowledge of company has escaped her   .      she was elsewhere, somewhere, someplace, else   .

𝐎:          if    you    want    me    to    go    ,    i    will    ,    but    i    won’t    go    very    far    .

still, silence    .                       ❛           i    don’t     want    anything    ,            ﹙      i don’t want to be    .          don’t you see    ?         don’t you see    ?    ﹚         …            ❜          it is given in whisper, in grief    .                       ❛          i    don’t     want    anything    .            ❜        

OLGA.          in the absence of anything to inspire,  the mind does go wanting,  or at the very least,  mine does.          what i know and what is perceived are clearly not the same,  and what i have before me is not nothing,  this i know;   BUT HER GRIEF IS NOT MY OWN,  AND I WILL NOT STEAL AWAY INTO IT LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT.          that would be a greater trespass than my hemming and hawing here.        we sit on a low step,  nearly level with the ground that leads away from the home,  back into a world where he no longer walked.          my legs are bent sharply,  the sole of my shoes gripping into the gravel cast across the ground to keep me from slipping.          MY HANDS ARE USELESS,  tucked away in a kind of shame beneath the triangle of my legs.          at her answer,  i turn to face forwards again.

what to do,  what to do. . .          of course,  it occurs to me that there might not be anything to do;   there are times like this,  ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴜʀꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ɪꜱ ɪɴᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.          I HATE TIMES LIKE THESE.          it is no secret that i do,  that i tend to slip into disrepair myself if left idle for too long,  lost without purpose.

BUT I MUSTN’T PUSH.          her answer does not break my heart the way i suppose it should and the idea of my own coldness comes creeping back to my mind.          ɪ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙᴜᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀ.          it was not distance that separates us now,  but a difference:     I STILL DESIRE,  SHE DOES NOT.          his death has left her with nothing,  but her grief has taken the whole ordeal one step further.          IT HAS MADE HER NOTHING.

NOW,  THIS I COULD NOT ABIDE.          ᴅᴇᴀʀ ʀᴏᴢᴀʟɪʏᴀ.          “     WOULD IT BE RIGHT TO ASSUME,  THEN,  THAT YOU DO NOT NEED ANYTHING EITHER?     ”          my gaze rests upon the distant tree line,  then rises to meet the cloudy sky above.          try as it might,  the heavy afternoon sunshine cannot break through and the effect is oppressive,  causing some tension behind my eyes.          “     it wouldn’t be right,     ”  i say,  answering my own inquiry.          “     IN EITHER SENSE,  I MEAN.     [   it was never right to assume,  but more so...   ]     so,  i’ll ask you,  anyways.     ROZALIYA,  IS THERE ANYTHING YOU NEED?     take your time.     ”

i rise from the step and patted the dust off my black cashmere sweater.          “     I KNOW IT’S A HARD QUESTION.     ”          i slip my hands   (  USELESS,  USELESS!  )  into my pockets and walk onto the nearby lawn.          i turn my face skyward and close my eyes.

[idiocie]

EMBROSYN.

GAMMA KNIFE RADIOSURGERY                   surgery without the incision;   a painting without colors, reader, a beach without sand! what was surgery without the mark of a knife? without tangible proof of death’s lingering imminence, fearlessly fended off by god’s faithful hand! were not physicians, his dutiful servants, godly in their own right?                     i digress.         it was with great chagrin that he conceded to the efficacy of stereotactic surgery, even despite his recondite methods of medicine, all blade and bravery, for the beauty of its irrefutable precision. perhaps he saw himself in that single meticulous beam as it drew perfectly over flesh and fair, never veering, never wrong.                 but machines are not impervious to death, and a dying machine was useless all the same.       oh, the irony! my wicked, wicked friend.

            [ … ]    “  good morning. ”          he said, unsure of how to address the pallid expression of common congeniality that greeted him suddenly from across the veranda. she looked plain and tired and terribly mature beside her jovial chariot. not even the sun, who lent the general sterility a lovely, lively golden hue, was able to rectify the sort of torpor that plagued her immediate physical appearance.              this must have been the mechanic they sent               (the company’s name escaped him, fickle thing; there were too many occupying his mental space).

“  right. miss olostrovsky likely explained everything in fine detail already, but i’ll reiterate:            the machine has been operating for only eight or nine months        i’ll need to verify the exact number             and has now decided not to operate in any capacity. the radiation oncologists first noticed it was performing with a margin of error that is inexcusable by our standard, but by the time i got our engineers to take a look, it had ceased operating completely. i would like to address the issue permanently and continue operating the gamma knife as soon as possible. it’s become integral to our neurosurgical department, i have people that depend on this technology.  ”           

he looked to his opposite and briefly wondered if she really was a mechanic.            “  i’ll show you to the machine.                    what was your name..?  ”

OLGA.          the nature of her attention was a tough and complicated thing,  sharp and prone to incision of the subject before her as it was discontented to merely,  plainly bear witness.          it glinted with the steady shine of an unmoving light against glass,  but did very little to brighten the deep,  dark green of her gaze.          these eyes were made for getting lost in and certainly,  in no romantic capacity,  either;     GENUINELY AND WHOLLY LOST,  taken into her mind for prompt disassembly and subsequent improvement.          whatever she’d return would not be what it once was.          AND SO,  KNOW WHOSE ATTENTION YOU’VE CAPTURED,  DOCTOR;   from here,  we can only move forward.          𝙴𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃.          the number resounded like a bell inside her mind.          it had been eight months,  this she knew for certain,  but did not interrupt as it would’ve been useless.          the dismemberment of his report continued onwards inside the mechanic’s mind,  discoveries of a more affected manner,  rather than factual, to be made.

NOTIONS APPEARED LIKE STATISTICS.          ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴɪꜱᴍ.     ᴘʀɪᴅᴇ.    ꜱᴇɴꜱɪʙʟᴇ ꜱᴛʀɪᴄᴛɴᴇꜱꜱ.     and this last one,  was that. . .     ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛ ᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀꜱꜱɪᴏɴ?          if she were to assume that he was referring to his staff,  then the notion of depending upon anything,  a miracle of a machine or not,  was likely unimpressive.          THE MARVEL OF MEDICINE WAS MEANT TO BE THE PRIDE OF THE ORGANIC MIND,  THEN,  WAS IT?          she supposed he could just as easily be referring to the patients,  instead.          their dependence,  however,  was decidedly less shameful and no one could ever blame them,  unless one was rather mean.

𝙸'𝙻𝙻 𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝙰𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙴.          she supposed that that was the end of it and moved to step forward,  every necessary muscle in her body preparing to go,  when. . .          A NAME?

she stopped short,  although outwardly,  there was no change in her position whatsoever,  all the movement having been an internal change of inertia.          “    KOWALSKI,     ”          she answered,  offering the doctor her right hand while the other quickly moved to the centre of her bicycle’s handle bars.          the motion was smooth,  not at all clumsy.          here,  out of this seemingly ordinary woman, we have the arrival of the indomitable prodigal heiress to the massive,  ancient conglomerate.          ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ɪʀᴏɴ ɪɴᴅᴜꜱᴛʀɪᴇꜱ.          it is in the name,  we are but humble blacksmiths. . .          the family name rolled off her tongue without a thought,  always and inarguably first before all else.          “     OLGA KOWALSKI.     it’s a pleasure to meet you,  doctor vallieré,  and to finally see hawcaine for myself.     i’ve heard many great things about it.     HOW INNOVATIVE AND EXACTING THE TREATMENT HERE IS.     it’s a shame one of its crucial technologies has fallen into disrepair,     ”          she finished,  the thought of the unwell machine still at the forefront of her mind.

[idiocie]

THEFIXER.

                                      bullet’s  whizz  by  her  as  she  returns  fire  when  she  thinks  she  has  a  good  chance  on  hitting  one  of  them .        her  frame  acts  as  ANCHOR  to  keep  herself  from  completely  falling  out  of  the  car .        sparing  no  time  in  wondering  how  many  bullet’s  she’s  got  left        (   which  probably  wasn’t  many .   )        her  focus  remained  unshakeable ,        that  is  until  she  was  FORCEFULLY  pulled  back  into  the  car .        mia  shouts  an  expletive  from  the  sudden  but  absolutely  necessary  yank .        body  is  made  small  by  head  tucked  close  to  her  thighs .        the  second  the  first  few  bullet’s  hit  the  windshield ,        she  brings  her  hands  up  and  around  to  cover  her  head .        THE  SIDEVIEW  MIRROR  GET’S  OBLITERATED  and  she  cuss’s  once  more .        only  briefly  did  she  spot  the  figure  in  the  road  before  the  car  hits  it .        it’s  only  when  jack  releases  her  head  that  she  sits  upright .       turning  to  peak  out  of  the  back  fo  the  car  to  notice  bodies  get  smaller  and  smaller  as  they  drive  off .        

turning  to  face  ahead  and  seeing  the  sight  of  a  windshield  PELTED  with  bullets .        she  emitted  a  whimper        (   but  like  her  companion ,        her  ears  were  also  ringing .   )        mia  always  took  pride  in  her  vehicles .        no  children ,        no  pets        but  her  cars  and  her  one  motorcycle  were  treated  as  such .        she  took  pride  in  them  and  it  showed  in  the  way  she  took  care  of  them .        being  close  and  ATTENTIVE  because  she  did  everything  herself .        changing  the  oil ,        switching  or  administering  air  into  flat  tires .        tuning  everything  up  and  making  sure  overall  that  her  vehicles  would  always  run  with  a  SMOOTH  PURR .        now  her  beloved  looked  more  like  swiss  cheese  than  a  hot  rod .        “   am  i  good  ?   ”        brunette  repeats  as  she  thought  that’s  what  he  asked .        everything  she  hears  right  now  is  muffled ,        as  if  earmuffs  were  covering  her  ears .        “   yeah        never  better        …   ”        she  adds  with  a  nod  and  a  ODD  smile .        is  she  okay  ?        sure ,        at  least  she’s  physically  alright .        but  emotionally  was  another  case .        she’s  pissed .        mostly  because  of  her  car  taken  the  brunt  of  the  assault        …        “   do  i  need  to  ask  what  the  circumstance  is  for  this  reunion  ?   ”        though  she  can  only  imagine  what  he  was  doing  by  the  warehouse  at  the  same  time  as  she .        “   and  where  the  fuck  is  your  cat  ?   ”

JACK.          the relative quiet immediately after shooting never got easier to abide.   it deafened,  it reached down into the canals of the ear,  into the body’s vestibular system and wreaked havoc,  it pounded at his already bruised heart.          he flexed his hands,  clenching and unclenching around the steering wheel,  and focused on keeping his foot depressed on the gas pedal.          the wind that whipped through the open window cooled his heated face and after what was certainly too much distance,  jack realized that he couldn’t even see through the windshield to see where he was going.          HE’D BE STARING RIGHT INTO A MESS OF CRACKS WITH TWO EMBEDDED BULLETS AT THE CENTRE STARING BACK AT HIM LIKE TWIN SILVER EYES.          the car was driving down the centre of the highway,  the yellow line sliding smoothly underneath of them.          it hasn’t registered for him what the woman beside him has lost in this brief shootout,  their lives being the most significant thing that he felt they ought to be grateful for.          focusing his gaze on a corner of the windshield which was not so broken up,  he centred them into the proper lane,  then accelerated.          gradually,  the thrill began to wear off.          ʜɪꜱ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅᴇʀꜱ ᴇᴀꜱᴇᴅ,  ʜɪꜱ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜱʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ,  ʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.

something in her voice moved him to glance at her for the first time since the moment of their escape.         SHE DIDN’T LOOK OKAY.          he hadn’t seen what the outside of the car looked like,  but he could only imagine the sad shape it was in.          although the car was not his,  jack felt a pang of hurt strike at the centre of chest,  his heart going out to this hunk of metal that had protected them,  saved their lives,  and allowed them to get away.          𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝚆𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼 𝙰 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙰𝙽𝚂𝚆𝙴𝚁.          “     YOU COULD ASK IF YOU WANT TO,     ”          he replied,  raising his voice over the wind.               “     it honestly depends on how much you’ve got on your plate or want on your plate right now because it’s honestly a bit of a long story.     ”          it occurred to jack,  once again,  just how glad he was to see her here,  even if it ended up with one beloved horrifically maimed.          if she wanted to know,  he’d be happy to tell her.          as for the cat. . .               “     THE CAT,  THE CAT IS HERE,  BY MY LEG.     ”          the creature lay on the floor,  hiding itself between his leg and the side panel of the central console.                 jack shifted so that mia might see into the shadows where a small head ducked,  two triangular ears easing up out of the shadows like mountain peaks above the clouds.          using his other foot,  jack nudged the cat,  tapping its behind until it was annoyed enough to come out of hiding,  placing its front paws onto his seat.          “     CAN YOU TAKE IT?    see if it’s alright?     ”

[idiocie]

THEFIXER.

                       *   there  is  only  one  day  of  judgement .       where  the  sinner’s  and  the  DAMNED  are  separated  from  the  righteous .       cast  into  the  darkest ,       depths  of  hell  to  burn  for  eternity .       of  all  the  damn  places  in  rome ,       the  sistine  chapel  is  chosen  for  a  SECRET  meeting       …       perhaps  it’s  symbolic  in  some  way .       considering  there’s  a  rumor  going  around  that  there’s  a  prototype  for  a  bioweapon  and  that  an  international  terrorist  is  looking  to  take  it .       IF ,       hypothetically  it  exists ,       then  she  knows  that  she  needs  to  find  this  prototype  and  destroy  it  before  it  falls  into  the  wrong  hands .       the  more  advanced  civilization  get’s ,       THE  MORE  DANGEROUS  AND  POWER  HUNGRY  THEY  BECOME .       amber  hue’s  fixate  on  the  sea  of  tourists ,       scanning  the  crowd  for  the  woman  they  were  looking  for .       [   shouldn’t  be  long  now ,   ]       she  thinks  to  herself              a  woman  with  a  red  scarf  and  a  tan  hat .       none  so  far  that  she  can  see  FIT  that  description .       

“   mi  guarderò  intorno .       se la vedi ,   ”       [   i’m  gonna  look  around .   if  you  see  her   …   ]       finger  taps  ear ,       a  signal  for  argo  to  speak  through  the  PRIVATE  channel  on  their  ear  pieces .       her  partner  gives  her  a  discreet  nod ,       then  mia  pivots  on  her  feet  and  heads  further  into  the  chapel .       as  she  weavers  through  the  crowd ,       she  sees  something  red  come  in  and  out  of  her  peripheral  very  briefly .       neck  SNAPS  in  the  direction  where  she  saw  the  vivid  image  of a  woman  wearing  something  red .       LONE ,       the  fixer  moves  towards  the  separate  room ,       and  upon  stepping  into  the  doorway ,       she  finds  the  woman .       though  she  wears  a  red  scarf ,       mia  needed  the  confirmation .       LIKE  A  GHOST ,       she  glides  into  the  same  room ,       busying  herself  and  acting  like  any  other  tourist .       eyes  widen  slightly  as  her  hands  clasp  behind  her .         

JADE.          the perfume of the flowers was something gentle,  sinking into the thief’s skin and invigorating her senses with the same easy nudge as night giving away to dawn before giving away to daylight.          in this smaller room,  auxiliary to the main hall and grand corridors,  there were but a handful of lesser known pieces of art hanging on the walls and pressed up into the dusty corners.          admittedly,  the room was plain and besides the two solitary women,  a young mother and her children stood uninterested by one wall before promptly leaving for more engaging sights,  one child only turning back to take a longer look at the women,  ONE POISED LIKE MARBLE,  the other gliding across the stone floor like a coming storm.

THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY IN AND ONE WAY OUT.          some would call her unwise for placing herself at a dead end,  but this was in a way a gesture of trust,  momentary as it might be.          the arm which held the bouquet remained relaxed,  for it wouldn’t do to crush the flowers,  but her other hand,  lithe and graceful,  swung behind her hip to rest on the notch of her bag.          from the corner of her eyes,  jade sized up the other woman;   she was not a familiar face,  but that was never all there was to a person.          the calm and confident set of the woman’s shoulders spoke of experience,  likely the same number of years as her own.      the charade indicated a desire to remain unnoticed as well as indecision:   𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝚁 𝙵𝙾𝙴?          something in - between?

GOOD,     jade thought,     WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE.

their idle walking eventually brought them to the innermost wall where a painting of eden hung,  A FADED PARADISE FROZEN MOMENTS BEFORE EVERYTHING CHANGED.          jade glanced at the woman at the other end of the frame and caught her eye,  flashing a quick smile,  the same one so many strangers have shared before.               ɪ ꜱᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ,  ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ.

[hellwatermelon]

[silkenscreen]

Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (1972) dir. Sergio Martino

[idiocie]

IDIOCIE,  THE TWIST.

JACK.            this room was a sombre place and it was so unlike them.            there was a nervous energy about jade that didn’t quite fit, the aura worn around her shoulders like a ill - fitting shirt that seemed to hold her hostage ‘neath its shape.            it hasn’t been obvious to the others, but soon those perfect edges would start to fray.             the cold and distant look in her eyes,  the loss of that easy smile, the way her laugh would betray the hollow space growing in her chest.             if history was anything to go by, then he knew that he really didn’t have to worry about her      [     and so he didn’t     ]      because she would find her own way out of this fugue one way or another.             the woman was practically resilience itself.            and yet, something in jade’s gaze bothered him as he watched her watch him put together the small wooden puzzle he’d taken off her desk.           she had not been able to finish yet and in the little time she’d taken to dress and speak, he’d already put it together and taken it apart and put it back together differently four different ways.

is it worth it?     she asked and it revealed more of her despair than she might’ve known in that instance.            there was far too much roiling beneath the surface to discuss in these small hours before the day begun.             and yet,   there was no reason he could find to rush her into a final choice and down the stairs to the others.             the more he pushed,   the faster she’d frayed.           𝙸'𝙼 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙰𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃, 𝙹𝙰𝙲𝙺.          he lifted his head, brows shooting to his hairline in a short - lived moment of surprise.             the final configuration of the puzzle resulted in a small wooden bloom.            this he placed gently atop the taut duvet of her bed as he recovered himself.             she stood before him with her arms crossed over her ribs, those dark eyes watching him closely.           he offered her a cheeky smile and wagged his finger at her.             “   you know,  this is why people think you can read minds.   ”

[ 𝙹𝙰𝙳𝙴, 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 ]   𝙾𝙽𝙻𝚈 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚂.            this,  of course,  he already knew but even after three decades of knowing could still not decide whether to find comfort in this or not ;    maybe,  he thought,  he didn’t have to decide either way.            perhaps it was just one of those neutral sort of things,   that is,   just the way things were.            it was certainly useful having someone who could his mind.            it saved a lot of breath.            he was still smiling when he leaned forward to rest his forearms on his thighs.             “   okay, so you’re not breaking apart.   then what is it?     because you’re entertaining some really obscure what - if’s and that isn’t like you, jade.      you can’t ask something like     [     IS IT WORTH IT?     ]     because you’d have to define worth first and that’s impossible.   ”             jade made a face that reminded him exactly what their agreed - upon opinion of ‘ the impossible ’ was and he chuckled.            “   no, actually impossible.      if anyone can make a revenge job work, it’s you.    if anyone can set up a first - timers convention, it’s me.     and if anyone can handle being ruined a little… it’s them.    that’s practically what they signed up for.    no one converts to the lifestyle of high - profile larceny because they want to preserve their life just the way it was before.   ”

JADE.          she hardly knew what to think or say.          this all felt too wrong,  a twisting feeling inside of her as though her innards were turning,  writhing,  rioting.      ᴍʏ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱ. . .          they were not hers to use this way,  in the designs of her own morals and desire for revenge.          IT WAS NOT EVEN JUSTICE.          not necessarily.          whatever she gained from this,  if anything at all,  it would belong solely to her and so,  why force them to run the risk,  too?      𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙸𝙱𝙻𝚈 𝚄𝙽𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙳.          the fact of the matter was that they would be doing this as a favour to her and this did not sit well with her.          it was not as if any of them owed her anything,  for there were those sort of people out there,  walking this earth right now that owed her a thing or two should she be the kind to make good on such demands.          SO WHY BRING THEM TO RISK?          they were much to dear.

“     THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE THEY WANT TO BE RUINED,     ”          she retorted,  relaxing a little bit under the discomfort of this unfamiliar skin.          she pulled out the desk chair,  then raised herself up onto the desk,  placing her socked feet onto the seat.          “    NO ONE WANTS THAT.     ”          ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ?          jack replied,  the upward lilt that punctuated his question fading too quickly as she repeated without hesitation:     “     no one wants that.     ”          she stared back at him,  certainty cutting her features into a severe picture of angles and edges.          when jade tao spoke with a sure tongue,  there was no room left to breathe;     IT WAS LIKE HAVING A BLADE PRESSED RIGHT UP AGAINST YOUR THROAT,  cutting off air as well as words.

she leaned forwards and rested her elbows on her thighs.          “     they might think they want that,  but ruination is never how any imagines it to be.     IT IS NOT REJUVENATING,  IT’S NOT EVEN THAT ABSOLUTE.     ”          if anything,  it will linger as you lay there,  awake,  in despair and sorrow,  every bone in your body broken,  the anguish your only sensation,  but not your only thought.          ALL THESE GODDAMNED ROMANTICS,  jade grumbled inwardly.          constantly making these abhorrent ideas into something fantastic,  something to be desperate for,  when life,   WONDERFUL AND COMPLEX AND WONDERFULLY COMPLEX LIFE,  was right there,  beating bloodily in their chests,  every chance at their finger tips.          ruin,  on the other way,  was something that was wished upon one’s greatest enemies;   it was what she had planned for. . .          jade held out her hands and jack tossed the assembled puzzle to her.          she did not look at it,  but simply place it back on top of a pile of books,  sitting on the corner of the desk.          “    WE’D BETTER GO.     ”

[idiocie]

REALITV.

   AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Dream your cares away at a Sandals resort: located in the scenic middle of nowhere at a top government secret, all inclusive facility. NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN! As soon as you check in, you will be silenced. CCTV RECORDING 24/7; top of the line security! CALL NOW AT 1-800-SILENT-RETREAT! FIRST 200 CALLERS WILL RECEIVE 20% OFF THEIR BOOKING! We will now return to your scheduled programming. THE LATE NIGHT / EARLY MORNING NEWS: nothing but dead airtime and traffic reports at three-am. Uh-oh, viewers! I have reports of a murder in progress! Looks like we may just witness a murder on main street! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET A CLOSER LOOK? Please stand by, this case is ongoing, and not yet a crime scene. But we can give you a hint! A trust, anonymous source has told us that it will occur in a room very much like this one, in a city very much like yours - you should start running.    The camera cuts too close; too big for the screen that keeps them at bay, pressing against glass and it beeeeeeends to accommodate them and that gaping smile, those Crest-Strips whitened teeth. The cameras do not cut, the spotlights do not falter: one for them, one for her; flattened against the couch, melting into the floorboards – as though she could escape. As though that ever-seeing, all-reaching eye would not find her. TOMORROW AT 9/8 CENTRAL: THE RISE OF FACIAL RECOGNITION SOFTWARE, AND WHY IT’S ALREADY TOO LATE! The tagline fades in, runs across the screen: I KNOW YOU. I SEE YOU. You know you can’t run, so why fight it? “I like it when you get feisty.” CUE LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE! Now recording: the hate in her eyes, the disgust that curls in her expression. It makes them smile wider; skin streeeeeetching, straining against the pressure. Silicone puuuuuuulls, tears. They ignore it - there’s time to powder their nose in the next commercial break.    “Now now, Maurice. Don’t downplay your accomplishments! A girl of your talents is a real asset to have.” A finger wags, the acrylic of their nail tap-tap-tapping against the glass dully. BINGO! WE HAVE A WIIIIIINNER! YOU ARE SMARTER THAN AN AMERICAN FIFTH GRADER! Confetti? Released. Balloons? Falling. The clean up? Expensive. Hotel? Trivago. “Smart girl.” Plucky girl. Dear girl. Dead girl. “Thaaaaaaaaaat’s right, honey! See, I can get to things on databases, I can pick my way through files and security codes and all that bullshit. Haven’t quite cracked the code for getting into heads yet. It’s pesky, really. Can be a real waste of my time if shit doesn’t go according to plan; and you wouldn’t do that to me, would you? No. See, you’ve got that real special spark I’m looking for, that je ne sais quoi. Understand?” 

  The Tagline: TARGET INFORMATION TO BE RELEASED. WE KNOW YOU WILL NOT DISAPPOINT US. 

  Satisfied, bottle-blonde leans back; the camera pans with them, allowing space; allowing breathing room. Their smile remains fixed; eyes recording, watching beyond the distance between them, beyond the screen that separated them. VIEWERS, I THINK THIS ONE HAS REAL POTENTIAL. Hell, I think this one may even survive. Their legs cross, kicking up their heels to rest on the shiny chrome of their studio issued desk; and a sigh crackles through tinny speakers too small to hold the audio quality. “Yes. No. Almost, but not quite. See, giving it away before you agree would be such a spoiler; and we wouldn’t want to disappoint our audience today, would we?” The audience awwwwwwwhs in response; breaks into thunderous applause. “Hush money can do a lot of shit to the right person; even make ‘em think they’re above The Law, when we’re all under him. I know I have been.” A wink into the camera - the audience laughs, and laughs, and laughs. 

MAURICE.          there was a dull realization,  faded and resistant like a dream seared through with morning sunlight,  that her eyes were burning quite badly.          the meat of them,  if they could be called meat,  stung and ached,  but she couldn’t look away from the screen,  could not stop reading and staring and scanning every inch of it for the onslaught of information.          in some stories,  when mortals lay their eyes upon the divine,  they lost their sight and they lost their minds;   she wondered if that was what was happening now.          ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ,     she thought desperately.          ᴍʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ ɪꜱ ᴀʟʟ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ.          unable to shut her eyes,  maurice bowed her head and stuffed the heel of her palms into the sockets,  the pain so immense that she thought for a moment,  just for a moment,  that she might just pop her eye - balls.

something like a sob began to build in her chest,  ballooning until it pressed with horrible strength against her heart and ribs.          WHY ME,    she wanted to scream in despair.          WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?          𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚁𝙴 𝚂𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚃,  𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙲𝙰𝙽 𝙱𝙴 𝙰 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻 𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙴𝚃.          these poisonous words,  empty and yet,  so dangerous.          the television’s compliments slid down the length of her spine like cold sweat,  a dread sitting at the base of her belly,  that hatred still fuming like exhaust,  filling up her lungs and suffocating the life out of her.          ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ?   ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴡɪꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇʀɪᴛꜱ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄᴜʀꜱᴇꜱ.          there was so much she wanted to say,  to scream and shout,  but none of it made it past her throat;     her tongue lay,  useless,  withering inside her mouth.          THE MEDIA TELLS US OUR THOUGHTS,  WHY SHOULD THE MEDIA NOT ALSO SPEAK FOR US WHILE ITS AT IT?          it was efficient that way,  at least,  but maurice refused to be so lazy.

she raised her head and blinked the tears from her eyes,  the salt - heavy drops clinging to her lashes and sinking into the lines of her palms.          “     I UNDERSTAND,     ”          she replied,  her voice so weary that it sounded bored,  life - less.          her face,  however,  was anything but bored or life - less.          MAURICE WAS FINALLY DIALLING IN.          mixed onto the canvas of her face was her unhappiness,  her anger,  and her hatred,  but also,  there were her focus and intelligence.          FOR ALL THE HORROR OF IT,  THEY WERE FINALLY COMING BACK INTO FAMILIAR GROUNDS.          ᴘᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ ᴏɴ.   ꜱɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ,  ꜱʜᴜᴛ ᴜᴘ,  ᴀɴᴅ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴ.   ɢᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴊᴏʙ.          she stood and moved to the kitchen,  leaving the television to relax itself as she switched on the coffee - maker.          when she came back,  she did not take her seat,  but stood behind her couch,  and suddenly she felt a little better.          THE TELEVISION WAS NO LONGER STARING DOWN AT HER.          timely secrets,  this was another familiarity.

to say that she wouldn’t agree to something that she did not fully understand would be a lie,  perjury even.          she’d done it before and it was fully expected that she would continue to do so until she was a well - respected senior agent,  gray - haired and near retirement.          BUT THAT WAS ANOTHER LIFE.          ɴᴏ,  ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇʀ.          a part of herself that she has since excised from her body and tossed away to rot.          “    YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME SOMETHING,     ”          she told the television,  disliking how she felt like she was speaking with a colleague,  a friend.          “   if you had come to me last year,  maybe i would’ve agreed to go into this blind,  but unfortunately,  you’re here now and i’ve already learned that lesson the hard way.     i need more before i sign my soul away or whatever it is you want from me.     ”

the contempt in her voice was unmistakable,  the disgust on her face at the media’s crude and self - indulgent humour more so.          THEY WERE ALL UNDER THE LAW,  THEY HAVE BEEN UNDER HIM,  AND SHE HAD DUTIFULLY SERVED HIM FOR YEARS.          at least,  that was what she thought she’d been doing.          “    well,  that’s good for you,  but i can’t   [ . . . ]  i can’t help him anymore.     ”

[idiocie]

VERVAENE.

it  was  the  sound  of  silence  that  made  him  turn  his  head  back  towards  his  host.        in  almost  ever  way  she  appeared  to  be  like  a  ghost,      gliding  across  the  polished  floors  like  she  was  floating  rather  than  walking.        the  only  indication  that  she  had  feet  at  all  was  the  clicking  of  her  heels  against  the  floor.        madelaine  disappeared  into  the  shadows,      which  would  have  made  a  mortal  man  pause.        after  all,      how  could  he  know  where  she  was  leading  him?        into  ecstasy  and  bliss?        or  to  sured  destruction?        but  apollo  followed  quite  willingly;      he  wandered  into  the  shadows  —  into  the  secret  world  designed  by  this  ghost  of  a  woman  —  and  what  waited  there  was  his  reward.        piercing  eyes  brightened  at  the  sight  of  the  wall  opening  up  a  hidden  passageway.        his  pupils  dilated  as  he  stepped  forward,      his  marbled  hand  bracing  against  the  wall.

“    how  fascinating!    ”        he  marveled,      peering  inside  but  seeing  nothing  but  pitch  black.        “    may  I  go  in?    ”        at  this  point,      he  could  care  less  about  his  alias      [  though  he  was  sure  that  his  publicist  would  probably  have  a  stroke  when  he  heard  the  rumours  that  his  prized  musician  may  be  doing  extra  favors  for  some  of  his  clients  ].          his  mind  was  occupied  by  thoughts  of:      what’s  in  here?        what’s  in  here?        what’s  in  here?        he  stepped  aside  and  gestured  to  the  empty  space.        “    if  so,      please  lead  the  way.    ”        his  curiosity  would  no  longer  permit  him  to  step  away.

MADELAINE.          the darkness does not daunt the woman,  it does not even have the power to draw her eyes deep into its abyss.          she watched the curious musician,  not wanting to miss even a single second of his changed expression,  his movements,  his presence.          you see,  her eyes were no ordinary eyes;   they were knowing,  knowing beyond what was usually deemed mortal wisdom.          SHE HAS LAID HER EYES UPON SO MANY STARS,  SO MANY MOONS,  SO MUCH BEYOND WHAT LAYS BEFORE YOU AND I.          obviously,  the intention was to lead him into the passageway.          why else would she make such a reveal?

she went ahead with an smile that would be obliging if it were not for its sly curl.          the passageway was wide enough for them to stand side - by - side,  and she waited until he had stepped inside before releasing the countering latch.          behind them,  the wall slid shut quietly and ahead of them,  the darkness stretched.          “     ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?     ”          she asked,  her voice softer than it’d been in the sunlit ballroom.          they stood still for now,  the woman enjoying the sense that something that might come screaming out of the darkness at them at any moment,  although plausibly,  she knew there was nothing there.          “     YOUR ANSWER WILL DETERMINE WHICH WAY WE WILL GO.     ”

[idiocie]

VERVAENE.

a  soft  giggle  was  released  into  the  incensed  air  as  viviane  took  her  place  across  from  jade.        there  was  a  silent  promise  there  in  her  gaze.        A  VOW.        that  no  matter  what  happened  they  would  do  whatever  it  took  to  stay  together,      entwined  by  some  invisible  force.        she  smiled  shyly,      because  the  sentiment  was  shared.        for  so  long  she  had  searched  for  a  place  to  belong  and  people  to  share  that  space  with.        viviane  had  found  it  with  jade,      to  whom  she  felt  absolutely  no  resistance  or  foreignness,        and  she  found  it  with  jules  and  darling  lucille  too.        “    let’s  just  hope  that  our  resident  ghost  friend  here  doesn’t  try  to  take  the  spotlight,    hm?    ”        there  was  another  note  played  by  the  piano  —  this  time  discordant  as  if  the  spirit  was  offended  by  the  suggestion.      she  laughed  and  took  lucille  and  jules’  hands  in  hers.

SOMEWHERE  IN  THE  HOUSE  A  CLOCK  CHIMED  THREE  TIMES    and  the  candle  flames  surged  high  for  the  briefest  moments  before  dying  down  low.        the  delicate  fires  flickered  nervously  and  cast  long  shadows  all  around  the  room.        “    it’s  time!      focus  your  power  at  the  center  of  the  circle.    ”        viviane  closed  her  eyes  to  the  light,      choosing  darkness  in  its  place,      for  that  was  where  they  would  find  their  answers  tonight.        silently  she  focused  her  thoughts  on  the  face  of  the  victim:      young,    asian,    long  dark  hair.        she  had  seemed  so  beautiful  and  sweet  in  the  picture;      her  death  was  a  terrible  turn  of  events.

“    we  call  upon  the  spirit  of  stacy  chen,    ”      jules  said  loudly  —  confidently.        THE  SHADOWS  WERE  HER  DOMAIN.        “    a  sister  who  was  snatched  so  viciously  from  the  plane  of  the  living.        who  passed  on  with  regrets  and  half  finished  tasks..    ”        the  furniture  in  the  room  began  to  rattle  around  them,      but  it  only  encouraged  the  girl  to  speak  louder.        her  spine  straightened  and  she  deeply  inhaled  the  incense  into  her  lungs.        “    we  reach  out  to  you  in  hopes  of  aiding  you  in  relieving  those  regrets.    ”        a  flower  vase  shattered  across  the  room  and  she  could  hear  viviane  gasping  to  her  right.        her  hands  tightened  their  grip  in  a  form  of  encouragement.      [  BE  STRONG.  ]

“    STACY,    ARE  YOU  THERE?    ”

JADE.          her eyes fluttered shut in tandem with the others,  a calm breath slipping languidly past her lips.          as there was darkness without,  there was also darkness within.          it filled her mind,  bleeding down her brainstem into her spinal chord,  grounding her to some tangible sense of absence.          ɢʜᴏꜱᴛꜱ.          jade placed her focus outside of herself into the centre of their circle,  holding it there in its potency,  and yet,  she could not help the twitch of her lips as jules began the summoning.          OH,  THE MELODRAMA OF IT ALL.          she fought to keep herself centred,  drawing on the strength of the hands clasped in her own and in the unchanging darkness.    something told her that the women around her,  dead or alive,  wouldn’t be very happy with her if she were to begin snickering just then.

her mouth pinched with the effort,  but she otherwise held the centre.          the temperature of the room began to drop and with it,  the absurdity of the moment.        A GIRL HAD BEEN MURDERED,  AFTER ALL,  AND NOT AT ALL GENTLY,  EITHER.               in the dark of her mind,  jade thought back to the reports she’d stolen from the detective’s briefcase,  quickly perused then replaced before they could be missed.          the body had been brutalized, and this she saw as a flash of sudden red,  striking like lightning across the centre of her mind.          blood had run freely down the front of her,  a perverse stroke of a devil’s paintbrush.          she jolted as the vase shattered,  her hands tightening,  her chest kept open by a deep breath.

                      𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙲𝚈,  𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴?          𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙲𝚈,  𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴?

on the far side of the room,  behind the piano,  footsteps began to sound,  thudding clearly against the old wooden floors.          beside her,  lucille stiffened and might’ve jerked her arm away if it weren’t for how hard she and viviane were gripping her hands.          “    STEADY,     ”          jade whispered,  the word barely audible,  more of a feeling to impress on her friend than a verbal order.          the footsteps approached at a steady pace,  cutting straight down the room and heading towards them.          a terrible sense of anticipation built as they waited for stacy to speak,  but for now,  they had no idea if this presence was even her.          jade’s brows drew together as an uneasiness settled at the back of her mind.          “     STACY,  IS THAT YOU?     ”

[idiocie]

VERVAENE.

A  RUNAWAY  BRIDE.        she  supposed  that’s  exactly  what  she  was    [  and  exactly  as  her  mother  had  intended  ]    with  all  that  delicate  white  fabric  bunched  up  around  her  waist.        was  she  a  bride  or  a  present?      she  couldn’t  say,      but  the  implication  that  she  had  escaped  her  own  wedding  brought  a  smile  to  her  lips.        “    thank  you.        you’re  right;      everything  people  do  around  me  feels  like  one  big  play  –  always  pretending  and  lying.        if  I  must  be  a  runaway  bride  to  give  myself  a  reprieve  from  the  masquerade,      then  so  be  it.    ”        a  shower  of  vibrant  electric  blues  popped  over  their  heads  and  the  smell  of  ash  and  smoke  filled  the  crisp  air.        she  breathed  the  fire  into  her  lungs  and  closed  her  eyes  with  a  heady  sigh.

“    were  there  any  announcements  that  I  missed?    ”        had  she  caught  wind  of  the  man  her  parents  arranged  for  her  to  marry?        the  thought  hadn’t  even  occurred  to  her  until  now  as  she  glanced  over  at  olga  and  noted  that  she  wasn’t  how  she  was  often  described.        viviane’s  own  mask,      both  physical  and  metaphorical  had  been  left  on  the  chateau  balcony  fifty  feet  away.        this  place  was  so  freeing  that  she  wondered  if  frances  hodgson  burnett  had  envisioned  something  in  likeness  to  this  hideaway  for  his  secret  garden.        she  would  spend  so  many  hours  laying  in  the  plush  grass  and  a  nice,      thick  book  when  she  was  forced  to  be  at  home.

away  with  the  deathly  silent  dinners  that  had  tension  sprinkled  onto  ever  morsel  of  food  consumed.        there  was  no  space  here  for  the  criticism  that  always  broke  the  quiet:      for  the  string  of  words  that  felt  like  the  tip  of  a  knife  being  jabbed  between  the  spacing   of  her  ribs.        her  hair  was  never  tidy  enough  and  her  expeditions  into  the  wilderness  made  for  poor  conversation  at  their  dinner  parties.        yet  her  absence  at  such  events  never  had  much  impact;      in  fact,  it  seemed  almost  welcome  given  how  different  she  was  from  the  desmarais  family  ideal.        so  she  spent  her  time  elsewhere  and  when  she  couldn’t  stay  away,        she  came  here  to  escape.        vi  tucked  short  curls  of  rich  dark  hair  behind  her  ear  and  sighed  again.        “    I’m  feeling  a  little  parched.        would  you  like  another  drink,      mademoiselle?    ”

OLGA.          hidden in the shadows created by the brilliance of the fireworks were the smoke trails of the sparkling flowers and glittering bursts,  faint and grey against the dark sky,  left to be taken away by the wind.          she watched the smoke just as closely as she’d watched the fireworks themselves.          her brow creased as she attempted to recall,  casting her most recent memories,  those most vibrant along with those most fleeting,  against the sky and tried to see if there was any to report,  anything to infer.          what had there been?          ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀɴᴅ ꜰɪɴɪꜱʜ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴡᴀʟᴛᴢ,  ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɴɢɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ɢʟᴀꜱꜱ,  ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ.          IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT THERE WILL BE AN ANNOUNCEMENT LATER ON.          it was utterly inefficient,  that’s what it was.          these people certainly knew how to waste time as well as money.

“     IT WAS YOUR MOTHER,  I BELIEVE,  WHO SAID THAT SHE HAD EXCITING NEWS TO SHARE,     ”          she recounted,  unable to keep the slight frown off her face.          she hovered her hand over the grass,  letting the sharp tips of the dark green blades touch her skin without depressing the soft blades.          her eyes did not stray from the nonexistent space between her palm and the grass as she spoke,  boredom lacing her tone.          “     there was a sullen young man standing in the crowd at her feet as she said this,  looking quite     [   she drew a breath,  eyes widening in a brief expression of mocked wonder   ]     eager.     of course,  she didn’t share the news then and there,  likely waiting on a more opportune moment,  say,  right before the fireworks went off.     GOOD NEWS TO RING IN THE NEW YEAR.     ”

she turned to look at the young desmarais heiress.          all evidence of brilliance and smoke had gone from the sky above their heads,  leaving them in a resounding silence and a new darkness.          she wouldn’t say it;     she wouldn’t say anything about it unless the other woman wished to speak about it first.          there was only so much business one could bear to conduct on one’s birthday.          olga stood,  the fabric of her dress rippling down to cover her legs and pool at her bare feet.          there was a strength in her spine and the way she set her shoulders that seemed as naturally powerful as the force of water pouring over stone’s edge,  unstoppable and indomitable against all:  ᴛɪᴍᴇ,  ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ,  ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇꜱ.          “     I’D BE DELIGHTED,     ”          she remarked,  tying the ribbon of her mask so that the mask was secured to the back of her head,  and the silken bow sat neatly above her ear,  giving her the look of a 1920s party girl.          “     PERHAPS SOMETHING MORE SUBSTANTIAL AS WELL.  one can only live off the promise of good news for so long.     ”