Reblogging for more ramble room. All psychological afflictions have varying degrees. My experience with a BPD person was that when he was happy with someone, he treated them as if they were the best thing to ever happen to him: constantly wanted their attention and affection, constantly gave them his attention and affection, lavished gifts on them, rabidly defended them to anyone who had an unkind word to say about them. He was clingy in the extreme to the point that (as an example) when I went AFK unannounced he freaked out thinking I was angry with him and did all he could to not only regain my attention but to make amends for whatever slight heâd imagined heâd made against me. If anything went amiss he blamed himself because he couldnât bear to place blame on the other person.
Until, that is, he got it into his head that the other person HAD done something wrong, at which point it transformed into him placing ALL blame on the other person, and began treating them as if theyâd purposefully betrayed him in unforgivable ways. He became accusatory to the point of verbal abuse and gave irrational ultimatums that boiled down to âIâm not going to treat you as a friend anymore and if you want to continue to associate with me youâd best start constantly seeking my attention and affection by giving me all of yoursâ â ie, the only means he saw of repairing the relationship was for the other person to act as heâd been acting when they were in his good graces.
This cycle is called idealisation and devaluation. It was a lifelong pattern that I got to observe for a number of years before it was turned on me and I removed myself from him permanently. He was massively depressed, had a vicious temper and mood swings to match, self-harmed to the point of scarring, and almost no sense of self-worth.
Mind you, no psychological illness exists in a vacuum. This person also suffered chronic depression and generalised anxiety disorder, is an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, only figured out a few years ago that heâs FTM, has a psychologically abusive and militaristic father, had a brother whose extreme impulsiveness led to his early death, and was in a marriage that went down in flames. Between his father and brother he was too terrified of stepping out of line to engage in the risky behaviours that often come with BPD.
Now in Deanâs case, heâs an ACoA too, and also had an authoritarian father, along with any number of contributing and catalysing factors. The DSM-IV-TR lists nine symptoms of BPD, and at least five are required for a diagnosis:
Extreme reactions â including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions â to abandonment, whether real or perceived: Iâd say selling his soul and accepting aeternity in Hell to bring his brother back to life counts as extreme.
A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation): evident in the way he viewed John as someone to be obeyed without question until well after his death, at which point he lashed out and called him âan obsessed bastardâ who was never there for Sam; in the way he viewed Sam as the son who could do no wrong until he found out about the demon blood, at which point his trust was irrevocably shattered â another repeating pattern in and of itself; and in the way he refused to believe Castiel could possibly be working with Crowley, among many other all-or-nothing interactions (âIf you donât help me now, then when the time comes and you need meâŠdonât bother knocking.â).
Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices): no one hates Dean more than Dean. No one thinks heâs as worthless as he does.
Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating: Dean pretty much subsists on these to one degree or another. His entire life revolves around cheating death. He has a long history of substance abuse, textual and subtextual alike, but this is also related to him being an ACoA.
Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting: he lets others do this for him for the most part, though Iâd also like to point out the satisfaction he took in shooting âhimselfâ in 3.10 and in beheading Leviathan!Dean in 7.06 (I think). Several characters have accused him of having a death wish. He also shows no hesitation in slicing himself open to prove heâs human, to conduct rituals, to bait vampires, etc, etcâŠ. As Iâve sort-a discussed with others, Dean has a complex and thoroughly unhealthy relationship with pain.
Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days: Iâm not so certain about this one. Heâs generally only moody as a result of an external force. He can, however, change on a dime all the same.
Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom: Famine famously remarked on this, and Dean himself has said repeatedly that heâs so damned tired of it all. Of course, I donât think it fair to completely pathologise this, because who WOULDNâT feel exhausted and empty after all the shit heâs been through?
Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger: also related to being an ACoA but ohhhh yeah does Dean ever get pissed. (Not quite so much as Sam, though.)
Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality: this is the only one I really donât think he has, or if he does at this point itâs a result of PTSD from Hell and Purgatory.
An intense fear of abandonment reinforced by cyclical relationship failure is one of Deanâs defining personality traits and has been made clear since early season 1. Itâs a complex issue, of course, but Iâd say with at least six out of nine symptoms heâs a prime candidate.
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