3 AM: I woke up from Angels coughing. I sit on my bed and pray for her.
4 AM: I thought it was time to wake up but I’ve only slept another hour. Angel’s coughing and I’m sad. I pray again.
7 AM: I’ve slept 3 hours. Angel’s coughing. I don’t think she slept at all last night. I can’t get myself to go back to sleep so I guess I’m up for the day.
8 AM: I went downstairs to check on Angel. She’s coughing but she greets me at the bottom of the stairs. I tell my mom that I’m stressed. I think I may be feeling bouts of depression. We sit at the table and cut up an apple to eat. Angel’s sitting at my feet. We feed her apple slices; she loves it so much. She has started to lose her appetite. The past few days we’d feed her at her normal time, 9 AM, and food would still be untouched in the afternoon. I get up and grab her bag full of medications and start to organize what she’ll take at 9 AM, 5 PM, and 1 AM. I get her breakfast ready and start doing the dishes. She’s sitting next to me while I do the dishes, coughing. I hide her medications and mix her food with wet food so that she’ll eat. She clears up her bowl in 5 minutes. She hasn’t coughed for a while.
9 AM: I’m upstairs now and Angel is barking. She has anxiety when she thinks she’s home alone. She hasn’t coughed yet, I hope the medications are kicking in.
March 10, 2016: Angel was diagnosed with CHF and that was the worst day of my life. I’ve learned about CHF in nursing school and I know what it does to your heart and lungs. She’s been maintained on medications for a year but I’m scared it’s losing it’s effectiveness. I’m sad and confused. I wish she didn’t have to deal with this. She’s turning 15 this Summer, I think it’s so unfair. She can’t sleep because her coughing will wake her up. She loves to go outside by she’ll start coughing. She wants to run around and play but she will cough. On top of her CHF, Angel’s had a murmur all her life and it’s getting worse. She’s at a grade 4 murmur now. I can’t sleep. I’m sad. I wake up and make sure she’s okay. Today will go by and I’ll be up in the middle of the night again getting ready to do the same thing all over.
titsay
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
kianamaiart
romaincrisis
baratheonpilled
gracieabrams
