sinew

arms, body, legs, fesh, skin, bone, sinew goodluck

[idle-creep]

fuck idk how to use this acc but ig ill be jst spamming here abt my life and shit so ill jst use jirai blogging tags and shit cuz thats all i know..

Ig this is like a get to know me i like editing photos and shit im trying to be all niche and annoying with music again i am a guitar hero pro lowkey and yeah.

Ill mainly talk abt love life crap (scroll down for character list) and other deeper things okay?

daily affermation i am mysterious...

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evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil

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Its been awhile i think i was going thru smth while i was posting a bunch that shit weird icl

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Bro fuck hero he blocked me

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Its weird how i remember loving your face.

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Im such a whore why is there so many guys in my life.

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Swedish fish and ballboy story (SF & BB)

Im gunna try keep this one short as to not over complicate it. Ill also try and keep BBs shitty stuff short.

My first interaction with sewdish fish was somtime in august. Me and my bf (at the time) meet up at the mall with him. It was comfortable - and there was some subtle filrting happening. He also showed a side the BB didnt even know of. The freaky side. SF was going on abt "the right way to finger a girl" and his dick. Yeah how big it is girthy and other shit. He was apperntly never like this with jst BB. The rest of the kinda flirting was tbe type you look back on and realise right. Hands lingering to long. And this unexplainable instant almost safety? Things supposed to be an insult and jst shy of a few words to be a compliment. I dont know.. wtv we make plans to smoke somtime soon.

September 14:

BB said that SF had been begging for this hangout to happen. (i skip boring scraffles with BBs bitchyness jst input complaing abt everything) we walk down to the spot and me and SF get stoned as fuck. BB cant inhale cuz hes a pussy. Blames the bong. Fuck that cunt. Anyway theres jst more of these moments where BB is being a dick so i talk to SF more (now keep in mind i actually managed BBs temper perfectly here and acted like a great gf. I stayed at his pace and tried to give the fuck as much support as i could without being punched again) Ughhh fuck himmm and his shittyness!!!!! Wtv we go back to my house and hes like laying on my bed i mean they both are but SF says wow u got 2 guys on ur bed rn. SF also said (hes a dick but treated me better) if you got braces you'd be..... he cut himself off. Yeah buddy id be the "alt baddie" of his white boy dreams. Mind you hes a nerd triple threat. Glasses. Braces. Acne. Pretty hot icl. But hes ego holy shit he needs to calm the fuck down. Anyway me and him start to become like proper friends.

We start calling more. We text more. He responds in the second. Im not even joking id blink and hed reply. It was scary. He started playing town to city and hed ask me for advice on how to make it look better. We grow somewhat close. Thing is me and BB are in a really bad stage in our realtionship so i start telling SF abt it. (Btw Sf is a shitty person).

September 21:

We go have a sesh agaun. It was epic. Now idk if he did this for me or hes jst a hater but we went to a bubble tea shop and i didnt get anything cuz im broke. He got a drink right and had probably less than a quarter and offered it to me. So who knows. Okay here comes the wattpad yn part.. we are in an uber BB on my left, im in the middle and my right SF. GULLPPPPPP. unsurprisingly they are both manspreading. I jokingly manspread back. And BB fully pushes me into SF for the entire uber ride. Oh my god. And this isnt even the craziest part. We are on SFs couch. its an L shaped couch and BB is on the L most part of it. SF the middle of the L and me on the side bearly on the L. Was there space - yes? Was SF on top of me. Yes. There was space between BB and SF right. And SF is always glazing up BB so why wouldnt he wanna cuddle up with him? SF was ontop of my arm. I cant explain well but it was no accident. Legs touching. And guess what we even went down stairs and we sat back down in the same position. Holy fuck.

Skip some time me and BBs realtionship is FUCKKKEDDDDDDDD. Bascially hes inlove with one of my bestfriends (gazzingle) whos dating his bestfriend. Ballboy. You dirty cunt. Hes calling her from the minute he wakes up in dms till like 4 am. Sontimes her bf joins. No shame to her i love her. She didnt fw him. And shed push for the calls to be moved to the gc. Awesome. So im telling SF all abt this.

I dont understand him. I didnt and still dont know what hes playing at. He was tryna break us up and thats as far as i know. He would tell me yeah i think hes into gazzingle. Yk shes his type. And hed tell BB that i was crazy and delusional.

Oct 17:

By this point i had told BB abt SFs behaviour. Anyway we plan a hangout of gazzingle me and SF and BB. And somehow unsurprisingly BB my boyfriend seemed to favour gazzingle. They were either far ahead ot behind me and SF. i knew it was over. Me and SF jst hungout ig nothing much happend. And a few days later i broke up with BB.

December:

That leads us to now where SF is in contact with me again. What is he playing at.

[idle-creep]

Swedish fish update woohooo

Okay so basically the convo went like this:

Im lwky bored do you have any weed - SF

I thought you quit

Eh no - SF

(reply to Im lwky bored do you have any weed) What i meant to say was did u wana go out and do some -SF

(IS HE ASKING ME OUT?)

He then goes on to say hes free tmrw (26 dec)

So boom i plan poorly and didnt make a fat enough joint so we were very bearly not even high fmffl.

We lowkey go back to mine and play guitar hero i smoke his ass

Hes on my bed

Like

Laying down on my pillows

Is he just obnoxious sewdish fish or is he like tryna signal?!?????

Hes done this b4 but that was when i was with my ex!!!!!!

We sit in a content kinda giggle and silence hes looking around my room (theres a lot to take in)

Hes like what should we do

I dont know (are we both thinking smth freaky? Or is it jst me. Home alone. Maybe a tinsy bit stoned yk. Hes on my bed. Is this jst innocent friends?)

Nothing happened was i supposed to make a move?

booooo boring

Idk some1 help plz for context he had texted a friend a few months ago (like 2) that he was never gunna do weed again. He was spitting facts abt it being bad for you. Now hes switching up?

When i was with my ex i was pretty sure he was flirting too he was pushing for me and him to break up.

Fuck i make intro to swedush fish ballboy drams okay i get to that now

Peace out love and light - creep

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Holy fuck merry Christmas.

swedish motherfucking fish hit me up.

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Hero is a selfish fuck and i hate him.

Hes forcing me to date him or lose him forever.

Fuck thesevfat lardass bitches.

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Would you let me cry into your arms?

Or do you just want to fuck?

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Run down on: ballboy

-> he is in my class in yr 4

-> we have mutual friends through intermediate and high school

-> i go thru crazy phase where i am constantly itching to go out and skate

-> he skates

-> time skip its dec '24 and we start dating

(Context: we got tg 30 december 2024 and i broke up 19 oct 2025)

May no one rub in how much of an idiot i am please his red flags were crazy.

Before we even started dating he would hit me not in a fully joke way is what im tryna say. And boy did it only get worse from there. In the very beginning of the realtionship he tried to fight me a couple of times and choked me (not in a kinky way) (　｀□´) (dec/jan)

He had no control over his temper and would very often take it out on me to the point it was a common occurrence for him to be yelling at me over the phone for a good 30 minutes straight. (Entire realtionship)

He also had a fuck ton of control over me in the very start i smoked once (not with him) and he then said if i did it again he would maybe break up or not talk to me for a week. (March)

He would constantly talk shit about my friends too. He would then guilt trip me if i was hanging out with them ultimately leading to me losing some of my closet friends. It became he was the only one i would hang out with. (Feb)

We would call an unhealthy ammount from the minute we got home and would continue throughout the night into the morning. Thank fuck we didnt go to the same skl. (Entire realtionship)

He also still very beginning completely destroyed all of my self confidence for most of this yr (im still trying to find myself) i got up at 4 am to get ready for skl photos and i got on call with him and was being all cocky saying that i was so hot and the fine shyt - he said i wasnt hot and delusional. He reduced me to nothing. (Feb)

Valentines day woohoo this isnt so bad more just background on him. He gave me a chrome hearts necklace (4000$ nzd) tbf its hot and i love it dearly. Hes a nepo baby with rich connections. He would constantly do huge designer hauls - his dad is a balenciaga VIP. They have around 50 balenciaga t shirts - thats balenci t shirts. Not including pretty much every other designer brand under the sun. And yet with all this money he still complained when he bought me vivenne westwood (his parents told him to get me smth nice) and he woulf bring up that he could take it back anytime. (Feb/june)

One time when i was super stressed and crying about how i couldnt get a job he left the call and used his rich boy connections to get one to prove how easy it is. (April)

When is was going thru some really hard shit (i couldnt stop crying for months and couldnt do anything or go anywhere bc of it) he so painfully fake supportive. He would come over wanting to go out then get mad that i was crying. Forgive my shitty explanation for this next part, so when we were walking to the train station i started to get really stressed and cried and he got super mad and threw his bag down on the pavement amd kicked it. Now what would he have hit if he didnt have a bag that day??? Me. (July)

He would also bearly show me affection in public if i hugged him he wouldnt hug back and would look to our friends and signal help. (Mainly start)

He was obsessed with carti. To a disgusting ammount. I hate carti. He would pull up photos of carti and get all crazy and be like omg you have to admit hes the hottest guy ever you have to agree he has perfect skin. And he would never ever stop talking about him. Like it was constant. (Entire realtionship)

He never let me go to his house in the about 10 months we were togther i was never allowed to his house. (Entire realtionship)

There became a point in time where i had to talk to him every night abt his actions and shit cuz i didnt feel loved and he would never fucking listen instead he would keep playing csgo and ignore me. (Aug/sep)

He used to pinch me bc it wouldnt leave marks.

When we would hang out he would constantly be on his phone and id have to beg him to put it down for a minute.

By the end (ill do a deeper dive on this part for the swedish fish lore) he would wake up and call one of my bestfriends in dms and he would call her for abt 10 hours every day. (No shade to her) She also was his bestfriends gf. He would call her in dms. DMS. She would push for it to move to the gc. I rember them even staying on call to 4 fucking am. He would also defend her if i even joked abt her. (Sep/oct)

With sewdish fish we went out to smoke (he switched up on smoking and wanted to try) i had to arrange everything and with that i forgot the lighter. He then said "omfg sewdish fish my girlfirend is so fucking stupid look at her shes so fucking dumb" and guess what he hit me a lot that day. Yay! (Sep)

I broke up bc he cussed me out in my own room and i was genuinely so scared of what he was gunna do to me that i had to get my mum to come in. (Oct)

Ugh ive probably forgotten a lot so i will keep editing with wtv i remember

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I pray to god for all the worlds riches to be mine

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Booom this is what i thought would be an unlikely update abt wood

Context around him hes 2.5 yrs older than me im pretty sure he thinks im a year older however.

It is borderlining illegal.

And he is most definitely grooming me (does it still count if i know?)

Whatever.

Last night i was feeling freaky as fuck and this dude has some of the finest abs (context: we had a talking stage last yr aswell) his abs have been haunting me for well over a year. I wanna sink my teeth into them so damn bad.

Agh and this man is local?!!

Back to the story hes off work for the next few weeks and offered to pick me up and take me to his house <- terrible idea or is it...

The issue is what if this dude tries to rape me.

I am a scrwany little girl to the point of fuck guys that call girls fat call me petite. (Ugh so kawaii ikr)

He also doesnt want any1 to know im talking to him bc he doenst wanna catch a case so theres not much of a safe way to meet up so far however i have a friend whos down to like double date and i will try and convince wood of this.

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Fuck so idk what the fuck is happening with hero.

Basically i didnt call him for 2 days (i had a friend over) so he jst like idk lost his temper wtv u wanna call it. He started coming at me saying that i was taking my sweet time and using him.

We havent been talking a month.

He asked me out the second hangout.

Its not my fucking fault he fell fast.

He in his rant(s) was making shit up lowkey so he sounded smarter and like the bigger person. (It made my friend laugh kinda corny shit)

Hero had the audacity to say "and i hope one day you remember me what it felt like to be seen so clearly" BULLLLLL SHITTTTT if he actually saw me and was this understanding person he made himself out to be he would take things slower with me and actaully listen.

Im glad ive dodged this cuz i cant fucking deal with people with such fucking emotions.

Anyway he reluctantly agreed to stay as friends (not without saying stuff like ohhh but ill never be able to look at u the same) <- he can fuck up abt that

He keeps messaging me anyway so idk whats up with him

Okay thats the end of hero update

Love and light - creep

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Hihi td i went to the city with my friend and his gf plus hero it went pretty smooth id say and i enjoyed my time with hero more than when its jst us - recently ive been feeling super unsure of him 😵‍💫 anways hes like maybe too touchy me with me not in a gross way dw but i jst dont wanna makeout allat much in the public with him (it wasnt like that with my ex) we also ran into dorito gulp

Also i gunna do a proper intro to all these characters in my life also all advice and criticism is appreciated

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I fear i am talking to no one but heres an outline of my love life for rn / dramas

-> i break up with bf of 10 months in october name: ballboy

-> i am now talking stage with a kinda boy bsf name: hero

-> older and lowkey illegal guy is hitting me up name: wood

-> friends ex is flirting with me still (its been months) name: dorito

-> i might be inlove with my ex ex bf whos long distance name: texas

-> i might potentially be still hung up on a guy that blocked my ass name: dibnah

-> ballboys friend he lowkey wanted me but denied it hard name: swedish fish