am i dreaming?

tell me how to color all the empty space

[amoreemioo]

“you can get clarity and closure without killing.” it was said quietly as his head turned so he wasn’t as muffled into seunggi’s neck. “i don’t think someone needs to be hurt —“ ares wasn’t sure he had enough brain power to figure out what he wanted to convey, but he also wasn’t sure he had to say anything else to make his point. ares didn’t like to see violence and pain, he didn’t like to see anyone get hurt. he certainly didn’t like the idea of people being killed for information or revenge or whatever the case. but … he also understood in a sense. when push came to shove and he had to hurt someone — maybe even kill them — for seunggi and seunggi’s own well-being? ares knew what he would do. sure, the thought put a frown on his features, but he knew seunggi was right.

little by little ares found himself relaxing more into the other man, his weight easily resting against him and eyes falling closed. “i missed you so much — i missed this. m’sorry i’m crying—“ ares was much calmer now than he was five minutes ago, sure, but there was still an occasional unsteady intake of breath and he wasn’t sure he could keep his voice stable yet. laying with the other man like this really did help, though. god knows ares would still be sobbing his eyes out if he was alone. his hand drifted along the other man’s side, fingers curling under the hem of his pajama shirt with a soft intake of breath. “i’m sorry. for everything i’ve done.” and everything he has said, and everything he has caused. things had been so different between them that ares was afraid they would never be the same, that things would never be as peaceful or as good. he’s worried about their future and if he’s ruined the best thing he’s ever had. he wouldn’t complain if that was his fate, he would adjust to it with time — ares just really hoped he wouldn’t have to. “i love you,” so much that he almost didn’t know what to do with it all. except cry about it sometimes, apparently.

[idleds]

seunggi wasn’t sure he agreed. he didn’t particularly want to die, but— after everything he’d done, he could understand why the hunters would want him dead. an eye for an eye, and all. but he knew it wouldn’t make a difference to ares, so he didn’t speak up. he just quietly played with the man’s hair, trying to encourage his husband’s lungs to take it easy on him and steady up.

“don’t be sorry for crying, love,” seunggi murmured, his head turning to press a kiss to his forehead. “it’s been a long time.” since they’ve laid like this, since they’ve been together as one like this. and even if it didn’t look the same as it did before that day, seunggi was always sure that they’d find their way back to each other. they really were like planets orbiting each other— sometimes the exact path might change, but that didn’t mean they’d leave. their relationship didn’t look the same as it did ten years ago, or twenty, or when they first met— it wouldn’t look the same in ten, or twenty, either. it was a fact, and one seunggi was slowly willing to accept, a good sixty years in.

“i wish—“ he murmured against ares’ temple, eyes drifting along what he could see of the ceiling. “i wish you’d stay with me, ares. that’s all.” that’s all he’s wanted, really. once he hit a certain age, it became less about doing and more about being together. they’d traveled across enough countries and cities for seunggi to know that the best part was, and would always be, ares. “i love you too much to be without you. and m’getting too old, my heart can’t take it.”

[amoreemioo]

ares felt what could only be described as shame overwhelm him as seunggi moved to comforted him. he sounded so worried and his actions felt so caring and ares didn’t know why. after everything ares has done and the things he’s put his husband through, and with how things have been for them — why? what made today so different? ares wasn’t sure he deserved the soft touch, and honestly it had a hand coming right back up —

or maybe not, seeing as seunggi beat him to it.

god, it was hard not to sniffle more. seunggi really was being so gentle and he hated that he was crying. it felt like he was squandering the moment. ares was wasting away a perfect cuddle opportunity — as if they could have gotten through the bad parts and into the good parts quickly if he wasn’t a mess of tears.

tears or not, his eyes flickered towards seunggi’s at his request. it was, admittedly, hard to keep the eye contact — but ares would do it for the other man. even if the words he was being met with did have his gaze faltering for a short moment. it really was short, though, and then they were right back on the other. “i — i don’t want us to die —- i don’t want anyone to die—“ such a statement had his voice shaking with more tears spilling over, brows pinching together as he brought his hand up to wipe haphazardly at his eyes. “they didn’t have to do that — they could have left you alone. no one had to —“ to think ares almost escaped the upset hiccups. he was never that lucky. they always got him, and it almost always pushed him into silence. “—had to die.” why did they come after seunggi after so long? why did they cause so much pain? why did those hunter’s treat them like they were no better than wild animals—

though a moment of silence (minus the occasional hiccup) wasn’t the worst thing. it let ares think over all his unspoken questions as he buried his face right into the crook of seunggi’s neck. let seunggi pull away if he wanted — ares was just tired of trying to act like he was okay without it. he clearly wasn’t! he was falling apart at the seams, and now that he’s had a little taste? he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle going backwards.

[idleds]

for what it was worth— and after everything they had been through— seunggi wasn't sure he'd ever seen ares as vulnerable as he was that night. he'd held ares when he'd cried before, from nightmares to silly things like ducks getting seperated from one another, but this— this was the most human he'd ever seen ares. crying over death and the pain of it, over the way fate always had a hand in things, even when they felt above it all. it made seunggi's eyes soften, watching his husband cry and cry, knowing there was nothing he could do to truly fix this pain for him. it hurt, knowing that he'd added to the stress and weight on ares' heart. but sometimes things were out of their hands— and everything about this situation was.

"they felt they did, baby," was all seunggi could muster, his words soft as he tried to keep himself from crying. it was always hard when ares started fucking hiccuping— it was like an automatic switch for seunggi's tears. "i— i did bad things. that doesn't make what they did okay, but— we'd— i'd do the same if someone hurt you, you know? if i'd heard what someone did to you, or alex, or even stupid fucking jisung decades ago—" his lips pulled into a sad smile, head shaking. "it's what brought alex to you, too, wasn't it? sometimes people need the clarity, the closure." his arms wrapped tight around ares as the man fell into him, taking care to roll a little onto his back to keep him close. a hand lifted to find his hair quickly, carding through gently as the other dragged along his back soothingly. "you saved my life in more way than one, ares. you don't need to cry, baby— i'm here, and i love you, and i'm not leaving you."

[amoreemioo]

ares sunk down a little more comfortably despite the air around him feeling somewhat uncomfortable. he should have known they would end up here again, and while he wasn’t exactly expecting to have such a conversation right now he understood why. it’s something he has thought a lot about ever since that first night at alex’s, and every night since then. he had nothing but time and his thoughts, after all. still, all that thought didn’t seem to help in the moment, did it? not when ares felt the steady rise of emotions inside himself and still needed a second to catch his breath before he even started.

“i wasn’t thinking about what was fair, i was thinking about you. all i could think about was you.” ares might’ve started with the intention of keeping his voice steady, or at least doing his best, but that was out the window before he even had a chance to really begin. the tears he had been trying to keep from spilling over were running down his cheeks, both hands lifting to cover either side of his face. he supposed thinking things and saying them out loud were two totally different beasts, and he clearly wasn’t as strong as he wanted to be. “i’m sorry for what i did, and i know now that it was wrong—“ no matter what happened, he wasn’t supposed to do that. there was no saving seunggi only. and yeah, sure, the thought of seunggi getting hurt or dying because ares didn’t do everything he could’ve — oh. that tore his heart to pieces. and it's funny, ares didn't even have to let his mind start to wander into the world of what if — seunggi took him there all on his own.

how did he even begin?

"i didn’t want to die, i don’t want to die—" ares may be old but he could still be naive — he was naive in thinking just because they took him that they would leave seunggi alive, or that they wouldn't go back for him. he was naive for failing to see the bad in people, especially when they were wearing it on their sleeve. he was naive for failing to see that people could lie with a smile, and he was dumb for so easily believing them. "i... i don't know, i guess losing you changes the answer to that." was said after his hands dragged a little further down his face before fully disappearing under the blankets. it wasn't like he had settled himself back down, or anything — he was still pulling in shaky breaths. but he didn't see the point in trying to calm himself down if they were going to keep talking about this. he was going to be upset and he couldn’t change it. ares didn’t want to die if seunggi was in this world. he didn’t do too well if they weren’t together, but he didn’t want that to be the reason the other man stuck around, either. god forbid.

[idleds]

“oh, baby—” came immediately once seunggi saw the tears and heard the way they rattled ares’ tone. a hand lifted to find the other man’s chest, warming over it gently to try and help him calm down. if there was anyone in the world that should never have to cry, it was ares. seunggi immediately felt bad for pushing him to that point— really, there was no benefit in doing so, was there? all he was doing was upsetting ares, it seemed. maybe he should’ve went to his own bed in the first place.

the second ares’ hands were falling away, seunggi’s hand was gliding to cup his cheek, shifting up to lean on an elbow to look at ares for the first time since the bathroom. “it changes the answer for me, too. look at me—“ his thumb went gliding along ares’ cheek, wiping at any tears and the trails they left behind. “if something happened to you, ares, i wouldn’t have made it another day. i’m serious. it wouldn’t be saving anyone, just delaying the inevitable.” his body scooted closer, wanting to offer what comfort and warmth he could. he knew it was a lot for his husband— and it was a lot for him, too— but it was important that they be together through this and the conversations that followed, wasn’t it? that they at least tried. “i don’t want to be apart from you, life or death. i’m with you. ‘til death do us part, and then some, right?”

[amoreemioo]

ares found his head nodding gently in answer, relief flooding his system at those words. it was simple, but it was enough. seunggi was staying with him tonight. sure, it may only be tonight — but that was enough for ares. it was one of those small steps in the right direction he had been looking for, he’d be a fool to turn his nose up at it. as if he’d ever.

but with the question being asked? his head immediately started shaking no, the action still slight and gentle, as his eyes finally drifted towards the other man. “you’re where i want to be.” wherever seunggi went, ares went. it really was as simple as that. he has seen what like looked like without him and he never wanted to again. ares has lived many lives before seunggi, he has had felt what it was like to have seunggi taken from him — he’s felt what it was like to think seunggi was gone from the world when he had tried to do everything to make sure he stayed safe. ares has felt what it was like to have the man within an arms reach day in and day out but not really have him. and when he sat to really think about it… every moment he’s ever lost seunggi always came back to him, huh? it was something that could all too easily bring tears to his eyes if he thought about it for too long, so his head turned again as he moved to turn the bedside lamp off with a few extra blinks of his eyes. only then did he start wiggling more so under the blankets, eyes more so on the ceiling than anywhere else. “i don’t feel right if i’m not with you.” not to say in the literal sense, either. they were living under the same roof but they weren’t a solid unit, they weren’t … together together. ares felt like he was missing a piece of his soul, is all, and he’d like to have it back.

[idleds]

seunggi's eyes dragged along ares' features slowly, nodding quietly in understanding as he spoke. ares was where he wanted to be, too— wherever ares would go, seunggi would follow. literally. he just wished ares wouldn't go somewhere he couldn't follow again. it was his biggest fear, at this point— losing ares to something he couldn't control. when they had first started dating, things were easy. ares was immortal and seunggi didn't really understand much of anything in his world, just that he couldn't die. then eden happened, seunggi found ares in practical pieces in their backyard in greece and, in the blink of an eye, the world turned upside down. their world turned upside down. it didn't seem like it would ever fully go back to the way it was, and seunggi understood that. he just wished they'd be able to go through the harder times together. not with either of them trying to fall on a sword to spare the other, you know?

"then why'd you leave me?" seunggi snorted softly under his breath, though— it wasn't funny. not really. "i don't feel right when i'm not with you. and you still left." left seunggi to deal with the pain of facing a world without ares, all by himself. his voice fell quieter, eyes not leaving ares' face once. "you're all i've ever known, ares. it wasn't fair." he became a vampire to be with ares and— okay, yeah. it wasn't like ares exactly asked him to do that, so it wasn't something he could hold against the other man. but when every day since that day has been dedicated to having a long future with ares, it was difficult to reconcile that that future would be cut short by the man himself.

he swallowed thickly, lips pursing as he bit his tongue. but only for a few seconds at best. "you said something, at jisung's. when we brought you back. i can't shake it." even as he thought over it, his eyes faltered, dragging along the covers between them as he tried to find a way to ask politely. "do— do you want to die, ares?" ah, and there was the problem. there was the reason seunggi's been struggling so hard to accept ares back into everything. it was a horrible month and a half, having to deal with the fact that ares sacrificed himself for seunggi, but for him to have said that when he came back, to know that he would do something like that again—— was it possible that it was ares just looking for a way out? a way that wouldn't get seunggi mad at him? it made him sick to think about, and it made him sick to question ares in such a way, but— he was even more horrified at the thought of something like that being true. at the thought of ares feeling like that and not being able to share with seunggi

[idleds]

despite all of the silence that seunggi's purposely kept between them, he couldn't quite bring himself to let go of ares. this was the closest they'd been since that day in the bathroom and, yeah, seunggi might not have meant for things to go this way, but they were here, wrapped around each other in silence. the hand on his back didn't go unnoticed— rather, it had seunggi letting out a small hum in appreciation as his eyes fell closed and his body more relaxed against ares'. if he wasn't careful, he might've gotten too lost in having the other man's arms around him to the point of falling asleep standing up. stranger things have certainly happened—

and besides, who knew when they'd be close like this again? it was a cage that seunggi had made for himself, sure, but it wasn't easy to just turn around and take it back. he didn't want to go getting ares' hopes up that things were back to normal when he wasn't totally ready to forgive him. not yet. ares was too kind for things like that— the up and down of it all. he started to feel more and more guilty for even inviting this, knowing that they'd go back to their separate corners, as if this had never happened. so the second the water turned cold, seunggi was unlatching himself and barely sparing ares a glance, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he tried not to cry getting out of the shower. he waited enough to hand over a towel, but the second it was out of his hands, he was scurrying away, trying to wipe it from his mind.

but—

pretending that something like that didn't happen was a lot easier said than done. he could feel ares' skin against his, still, even as he changed into his clothes. when he was making dinner, he could feel that hand on his back. when he was changing to go to sleep, he could feel those lips on his. his greed and how much it made him second guess himself was starting to make him feel sick— it was too much like a rollercoaster, wasn't it? not just for ares, but for him, too. he was trying to shake the intrusive, selfish thoughts of things he wanted to do, knowing damn well he shouldn't.

again, that didn't mean he was any good at it.

his stomach was in knots as he laid in ares' bed, settling under the covers with his phone and getting comfortable as if the bed was his own. he left the light on so he didn't outright scare the other man, but... he was nervous. what if ares didn't want him here? what if he wanted the space to himself, especially after seunggi outright left him? again? what if he simply didn't want anything to do with seunggi for a little bit? god, maybe he would be sick—

[amoreemioo]

despite the events of their day and the silence that felt somewhat heavier than usual ares still wanted to tell the other man goodnight as he always did. and you know what … maybe ares should have realized something else was going on when he tried to poke his head into seunggi’s room to do just that. where he expected to find him curled up, he was met with an empty room. and he’d be honest — it left him feeling somewhat perplexed. he didn’t have to dwell on it long, though. surely seunggi was just hiding away in another part of their home, actively trying to avoid too much awkward interaction.

so to find what ares found next? seeing the light of his own room flicked on was enough to give him pause, his steps slowing a fraction as he retraced his day. did he leave the lights on? he was always good about hitting the switch when he left a room. maybe age was finally getting to him, though? or perhaps his shoulder bumped it, something simple as that. ares was trying to be logical about it, he was trying not to get excited about an empty room—

only it wasn’t empty. it was exactly what he had been starting to think.

ares felt kind of silly for the way the sight had him stuck in the doorway, even if only for a fraction of a second (maybe two). but surely he couldn’t be blamed? first the shower, now this — all with barely more than ten words a piece. actually, if he remembered correctly, seunggi didn’t want things to change and said as much. but this looked to be very different from their new normal. so yeah, maybe ares hesitated for a moment, but he couldn’t help it. ares just — it felt like… like it was a new thing. a new relationship, but with all the weight of an old one. it felt so new and fragile, but not in the way that made him giddy and excited. he was afraid to drop it and watch it shatter before his eyes when it felt like it was held together with tape, or something.

“i thought… “ it was murmured quietly, words trailing off with a small shake of his head. ares felt crazy for a moment, but things were slowly clicking into place. he flicked the light switch off before he was walking around to his usual side of the bed, just to find himself hesitating again. not because he wasn’t sure about getting into bed, or anything, but because he had picked up his book and turned on the bedside lamp out of pure habit. “i didn’t know where you were and i thought i left my light on all day.” the explanation came just as softly as ares crawled his way right under the covers. did this feel nice? yes and no. he felt a little weird, sure, but ares was over the moon to have seunggi in bed with him. it’s a miracle he wasn’t physically vibrating with how happy this simple thing made him feel. but he was also afraid such a privilege was going to be ripped from his fingers in the blink of an eye. which —

his eyes drifted to the book, suddenly unsure about what to do. maybe he shouldn’t read? he wasn’t trying to assume he’d get to hold seunggi again, but surely he wouldn’t get to if he had a book in his hands? but then — yeah. ares was just getting in his head, and over the bedside lamp, no less. he just couldn’t help it! did he put the book down? did he turn the light off? did he go for his phone, instead? ares found himself in a bit of a pickle as his finger dragged ever so slightly over the cover of the book. “are you … staying here all night?” the question was asked as he moved to put his book back down, tone falling more on the hopeful side of things.

[idleds]

seunggi wasn’t a fool— he could hear ares’ footsteps rounding the corner and stop, right in time for seunggi’s room, probably. he could hear the confusion, even if he couldn’t see it all over ares’ face. the slight pinch of his brow, a gentle pout to his lips— seunggi imagined it only got worse when he finally noticed that the light in his room was on.

while he didn’t have the answer to that, he had a pretty good idea based on ares’ reaction to seunggi in his bed. seunggi didn’t lift his head to look at him, not really wanting to explain himself but… he felt a little more insecure, clearly surprising ares more than he wanted to. he was worried ares might turn him away, might’ve changed his mind after the day they’d had. things had been cold for a while— maybe just because seunggi wanted a little warmth, didn’t mean ares did, too.

so seunggi let out a quiet hum of acknowledgement to ares’ words, not putting his phone down or looking at the other man despite fully facing his side of the bed. he couldn’t bring himself to look at him yet— afraid to find a frown or more confusion. he could see him fiddling with his book in his peripheral vision, though, making his stomach twist and turn and invent new damn pretzel shapes.

with the question, though—

seunggi’s phone was finally locked, his hand sliding it under the pillow as his gaze shifted up towards ares’, slightly pained. “ares,” he hummed, the name soft as ever as it rolled off his tongue. “i’m not going anywhere.” now, or ever. but after another long second: “are you?”

[amoreemioo]

ares didn’t want to admit it, but he was somewhat reluctant to let his grip loosen so seunggi could move freely. that reluctance did not last long, though — no. it was gone as quickly as it appeared when it was clear seunggi wasn’t going anywhere. ares was letting his arms loop at the other man’s lower back almost immediately to keep him close, fingers drifting gently against his skin.

at least until there was a kiss coming his way.

you would think ares had just discovered a new religion with the way he felt in that exact moment. his entire body was flooded with warmth and his heart rate seemed to double — he was definitely experiencing something extraordinary. he missed this more than he’d ever be able to put into words, and he hoped he never had to. he hoped this wasn’t a one off thing, but that wasn’t something he’d dwell on now. later, perhaps, but not now.

it was hard to think of much of anything other than those lips on his, or the way they pressed along his skin again and again and again, actually —

even when seunggi settled and the kisses were done, ares found his mind replaying the last thirty seconds over again. it was nice to hold the man in his arms and do something as simple as kiss — hell. even this, simply holding him under the spray of the shower was comforting. soothing. ares felt a peace he hasn’t felt for a long time, and he was half afraid any harsh movements or even speaking would break it. hence the gentle touch as he traced circles into seunggi’s lower back, his own head lowering just enough to rest carefully against seunggi’s.

[idleds]

despite all of the silence that seunggi's purposely kept between them, he couldn't quite bring himself to let go of ares. this was the closest they'd been since that day in the bathroom and, yeah, seunggi might not have meant for things to go this way, but they were here, wrapped around each other in silence. the hand on his back didn't go unnoticed— rather, it had seunggi letting out a small hum in appreciation as his eyes fell closed and his body more relaxed against ares'. if he wasn't careful, he might've gotten too lost in having the other man's arms around him to the point of falling asleep standing up. stranger things have certainly happened—

and besides, who knew when they'd be close like this again? it was a cage that seunggi had made for himself, sure, but it wasn't easy to just turn around and take it back. he didn't want to go getting ares' hopes up that things were back to normal when he wasn't totally ready to forgive him. not yet. ares was too kind for things like that— the up and down of it all. he started to feel more and more guilty for even inviting this, knowing that they'd go back to their separate corners, as if this had never happened. so the second the water turned cold, seunggi was unlatching himself and barely sparing ares a glance, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he tried not to cry getting out of the shower. he waited enough to hand over a towel, but the second it was out of his hands, he was scurrying away, trying to wipe it from his mind.

but—

pretending that something like that didn't happen was a lot easier said than done. he could feel ares' skin against his, still, even as he changed into his clothes. when he was making dinner, he could feel that hand on his back. when he was changing to go to sleep, he could feel those lips on his. his greed and how much it made him second guess himself was starting to make him feel sick— it was too much like a rollercoaster, wasn't it? not just for ares, but for him, too. he was trying to shake the intrusive, selfish thoughts of things he wanted to do, knowing damn well he shouldn't.

again, that didn't mean he was any good at it.

his stomach was in knots as he laid in ares' bed, settling under the covers with his phone and getting comfortable as if the bed was his own. he left the light on so he didn't outright scare the other man, but... he was nervous. what if ares didn't want him here? what if he wanted the space to himself, especially after seunggi outright left him? again? what if he simply didn't want anything to do with seunggi for a little bit? god, maybe he would be sick—

[amoreemioo]

it was an odd feeling — the way his stomach flipped and twisted in the midst of so much pleasure. it was only a fraction of a second, almost like when you experienced butterflies after a sudden drop — but it still happened. it had his eyes pinching shut for a moment as a gasp escaped him, hips stuttering briefly from everything. how could he be expected to keep his head on straight when the other man was so tight around him, telling him he could —

if seunggi wouldn’t have said anything, would he have even thought about it? ares was conscious enough not to try for a kiss, sure — but he wasn’t sure it had even crossed his mind. he was far too lost in the moment to even attempt to think straight or unscramble his mind. all he knew was he was close and seunggi felt good. but could he —- should he?

those butterflies had his stomach turning again at the thought, his own moans getting caught in his throat as he grabbed at seunggi’s hip once more. every thrust had purpose and every moan came muffled against the other’s skin — not that it took more than a few odd seconds for ares to find his own release. he felt everything in him come crashing down in the best way as he buried as deep as he could, hands grasping hard as he pulled seunggi tight against him with a quiet moan falling free. ares was sure he couldn’t hear a single thing aside from seunggi’s own breathing, and it was so overwhelming that he found himself pulling out after a long moment. not that he went anywhere, and ares definitely didn’t let go. but the last thing he wanted was to take something that felt good and push too far over that line to where it felt bad. “are you okay?” ares had no objection to offering his support and holding seunggi for as long as he was allowed, but he wanted to check all the same.

[idleds]

seunggi only let out a soft hum of a noise in response, his brain too scattered to really consider (and answer) if he was okay or not. in his defense, it'd been months and— well. he was all around a little fucking dazed.

his next answer came in the form of a quiet gasp as he turned in ares' arms, hands quickly and easily gliding across his husband's shoulders to pull him closer. his gaze flickered over the other man's features quickly as he leaned in for a kiss— eager, but not hungry. no, he was looking for a soft kiss as a hand found the back of ares' neck. one that would say everything he couldn't bring himself to: i'm glad you're here, i miss you, i love you. he let out a soft sigh into the other man's mouth, his touches just as delicate.

after a few long moments, he pulled away enough to go scattering kisses along ares' jaw, his neck, his shoulder, before nosing at the skin and pressing his cheek against it. his eyes fell closed as he settled into the hug, relaxing further with the sound of ares' heart beating away in his chest.

[amoreemioo]

ares felt hot from his head to his toes, and while he knew the steam of the shower played a big part? it was mostly due to the way seunggi was making him feel. he was turned on, almost buzzing with feelings he hasn’t experienced in months— it’s a miracle he was even standing at this point.

so when those words registered in his mind?

ares was almost overwhelmed with the desire to please, to keep seunggi in this perfect haze and give him the chance to come undone. if everything else was locked out, even if only for a moment, ares was going to use every bit of time to let seunggi relax and indulge in something good. the only thing that changed was the way his hand dropped to curl around his husband’s length, stroking him in time with each and every thrust. “let me get you there,” was murmured softly against the skin of his shoulder, lips brushing in a gentle kiss there. it was hard not to lose focus and come undone himself when so much was happening at once, but as his eyes roamed what he could see of the other man’s features? with the feeling of seunggi pressed against him, almost molded to him perfectly as he tensed with pleasure? ares was dang near entranced. sure, he was gasping and moaning and tipping on the edge of his own release — but he was so lost in the way seunggi felt and sounded and looked that ares wasn’t thinking about anything but seunggi.

[idleds]

seunggi didn't think he would need much more to get there, honestly; ares was already holding and talking to him just right, he was sure he would've found his orgasm in no time. so you can imagine his surprise at receiving a hand around him and that voice against his shoulder— god, he shivered as goosebumps scattered across his skin, his body growing tenser in ares' hold. "f-fuck—" he moaned out, his brows pinching and mouth falling slack as his head fell forward, trying to reconcile just how good he felt. he was, in fact, coming in no time, unable to keep himself restrained for much longer. his hips stuttered as they rocked between ares' hips and his hand, mind still desperate and still not putting a whole lot of work into making sense of all of it.

not yet, at least.

"want you to," he whined out, his hand growing tighter around the one ares had on his chest. "inside me, please. want you to—"

[amoreemioo]

that’s all he needed — ares simply wanted to know the other man was getting exactly what he wanted. if seunggi had wanted more he would’ve given it to him, and if he wanted it slower he would have adjusted. it wasn’t like ares was in a rush, or anything, either. in the back of his mind he was aware that once they crossed that finish line things would slip back into the odd little dance they’ve fallen into. he just — he missed taking care of his husband. ares missed properly caring for him from making (and having) breakfast to washing his hair to listening about his day. ares missed it, he wanted it back — but if this was as good as it got for the moment? he’d take it. ares knew in his heart the day would come where they could share a bed and be happy while doing so, or go on a walk without tense silence filling the air between them, or wash the dishes side by side without feeling like they needed to be in separate rooms. it would happen, and he knew that day wasn’t today, or tomorrow — but he’d be here when it came.

until then? he’d relish what he currently had.

he’d lock the feeling of seunggi’s hand around his away in his mind for safe keeping. it was no doubt something he’d be thinking about later as he traced along his own skin. if only they were human and simple marks like that could be left ...

the sound of his husband's moans would fill his mind for days to come, this he already knew. the way seunggi felt pressed against him, wrapped around him — his own soft moans spilled free as he pulled seunggi off the wall and kept him tight against his chest. “you sound so pretty,” the hand on the other man’s bum gripped a bit harder for one final squeeze before he was letting go to instead wrap that arm around the front of seunggi’s hips. ares couldn’t get enough, he couldn’t help but want to keep seunggi locked against him to feel everything. every hitch of his breath, every shift and every arch, every tensing muscle as ares rocked into him — everything. given, maybe rocking wasn’t the right word seeing as he was looking to get as deep as he could each and every time, occasionally pulling a low moan from his chest — but he did his best not to get too far off of the pace he’s set. a 4, maybe a 5– nice and steady around these parts.

[idleds]

the second ares was pulling seunggi off of the wall, he knew he was a goner. there was nothing quite like being pressed right against ares' chest, arms wrapped around him— god, his head was quick to fall back against the other man's shoulder as his moans fell free. the hand on his hip fell to let his nails mindlessly drag along his thigh instead, the marks washing away with only a few drops of water. he let out a low moan with the other man's words, the compliment going right to his chest where he swelled with love and pride.

he didn't say much in return, just moaned with every thrust into him, but without meaning to— he may have been mindlessly sharing just how good he felt with ares through all of their contact. he was buzzing with pleasure, excitement, and love, to the point that his control of his abilities started to blur, without him even noticing. so everything he didn't want to admit was being shared right under his nose. by his own touch, no less!

"m'close—" he moaned, the words slurring off of his tongue, as if it wasn't already obvious by his tone and just how tense he felt. the hand on ares' thigh lifted to find his hair instead, carding through the locks and tugging carefully, adoringly. "fuck, please—"

[amoreemioo]

was it bad that now that seunggi went and broke the ice all ares wanted was more? he wanted to hold his hand or find a bench and sit extra close — any physical contact, really. ares was a simple guy, what could he say? but maybe the ice wasn’t broken per say … more so just cracked. ares knew he couldn’t exactly be greedy.

even if he wanted to be. badly.

ares let out a joking huff of a laugh, brows lifting as he turned more towards seunggi for a few steps. “i’m going to act like you didn’t even say that.” as if he would ever! “if anything i’m going to keep it to trade it in for a hoodie next time, or something —“ giving seunggi his jacket back in exchange for a hoodie sounded like a fair deal, no? he’d wear a hoodie around his apartment all the time — maybe send the other man a few selfies of him in it. sfw and nsfw, of course. “have you ever been here before?” were they flying by the seat of their pants as far as what to do? ares loved to see what he could get up to in any certain area, but maybe they were being more lowkey and quiet? leisurely strolls, perusing a local bookstore, watching a sunset — easy things.

[idleds]

"trade?" seunggi scoffed. "no, you keep it and i'll give you a hoodie the next time i see you. ask and you shall receive." it wasn't like seunggi had a jacket or hoodie shortage, so there was no harm in giving them away, especially to ares. the guy did look good in his jacket, and he was sure he would look even better in his sweatshirt. the thought of both at the same time made him a little dizzy, but he definitely kept his walking straight, he swore!

"no, i haven't," he answered honestly, eyes drifting to look at their surroundings as they walked, eyes catching on a few of the storefronts. he didn't exactly have a plan in mind— he just wanted to spend time with ares, was all. time spent with him was time well spent, so he didn't have a preference any which way. "i don't even think i've been in this part of the state," he laughed under his breath, gaze shifting up towards the sky, as if that would give him a better sense of his geolocation. "have you? or are we both wandering until we get lost?" not that seunggi would complain!

[idleds]

@amoreemioo / cont.

was ares shivering? maybe — no, there was no way. what had been his tell? maybe the way he seemed to pull in on himself ever so slightly, or maybe his cheeks were pink — whatever the case? it didn't really matter, not when a jacket was wrapping over his shoulders. it was more than enough for his attention to quickly drift towards the other man with a small smile curling up on his lips. it was a little surprising, sure, but not something ares was going to object to. "a bold move," it was said with a laugh as he tugged said jacket a little tighter around himself, with his steps leading him a little closer to seunggi's side. surely such a thing could get any sort of media going crazy, right? na seunggi giving his jacket to some random? but what did he know? what did he care? ares was happy to be here, to be with seunggi, even if he had been a little chilly in their walk. "thank you," ares was genuine in his words, smile growing as he gently bumped into the others side. "i didn't think it was going to be so cold." which, well — it was cold, and he was thankful for such a gesture. however, again, it was cold, and there was no way ares would let seunggi be jacketless for too long. "just for a few minutes, though, i can't have you getting sick."

seunggi, honestly, can't remember the last time he caught a fly to the middle of bumblefuck, nowhere. probably because most of the time he was traveling for work, and this trip was anything but. it was a nice change of pace for him, not rushing to a venue or a hotel or a meeting ororor. instead, he had the luxury of taking a stroll around bumblefuck with the one flight attendant he'd travel to such a place for. he felt a little more normal in a place like this, even if the way he dressed and generally looked made him stick out like a sore thumb.

hence why he felt more comfortable so outwardly giving ares his jacket, without fear of being caught by someone somewhere. "is it now?" he grinned, brows lifting in quiet amusement. he was sure it was on some level— just because seunggi wasn't familiar with the area didn't mean that someone somewhere didn't know who he was or where he was at this very moment. he's been through crazier things, so he supposed it wasn't all that out there that someone might see ares with his jacket on right now.

okay, maybe he was looking over his shoulder quietly before assessing their surroundings one more time— but ares brought it up!

"yeah, of course," seunggi hummed with a shrug, pushing both of his hands into his hoodie pockets. he enjoyed the little teasing bump of ares' shoulder, letting out a huff of a laugh before returning one without missing a beat. "no, no, no— i can't have you getting cold. you can keep it." the words rolled off of his tongue without second thought and he really didn't think twice about them afterward, either. he was comfortable with ares and they'd done enough things around the world at this point that the man having his jacket was probably the least offensive thing between them. "you look cute in it, anyway. fits you perfectly." and yeah, maybe seunggi wanted to go pinching those cold pink cheeks, but he had an image to maintain here, thank you very much! "just don't go selling it— then we might have a problem."

[idleds]

was it something i said?

"no, i—" okay, call him crazy, but when seunggi closed the door on ares the day before, he hoped that that would be enough of a hint that seunggi needed some space. the whole disaster with hyunsoo was... not nice. and that was before hyunsoo went saying things that:

seunggi did not want ares to know;

seunggi could not explain;

seunggi could not take back.

he was sure he could try to explain things to ares in some capacity, but that didn't mean ares would ever really understand. and what was the point of explaining when he knew that it was all going to amount to nothing, anyway? now that ares knew what seunggi was, there was no way they were going to be together, not really. not in the way that they had been together before hyunsoo blew up seunggi's life. they lived different lives in completely different worlds, even if it looked like seunggi was only ever in his shop tending to flowers.

he let out a soft sigh, nose scrunching as he tried to keep from getting upset in front of ares. he had to keep a strong front here— it was for ares' own good, anyway! (at least that's what he was trying to tell himself.) "you didn't— you didn't say anything. i just—" his weight shifted from where he stood behind the cracked door, all but hiding in the darkness of his apartment. "i don't think you should want to be around here anymore, is all." his head let off a quiet thump as his forehead leaned against the door, not fully meeting ares' eyes. "you heard what he said. if you didn't, maybe things could be the same for a little longer, but it— it's different now. things are different." and seunggi wasn't sure it was smart to figure out exactly what that meant. "we're different. and it's— it's not safe for you anymore, now that you know."

a whole bunch of questions

[amoreemioo]

x |

ares loved seunggi, that would never change — but things were still off. things were weird. he would love to say he had no idea how long it’s been since he felt normal, but he had a damn near exact date. and yeah, it helped a lot to have their own space and not be living on top of another couple, but it also kind of … left them with a lot of silence, too. it gave ares more than enough time to think about what he’s done, and think about what he should’ve done — to think about how he could mend things, too. or try to mend things, that is. more often than not he was staring at a book or watching the clouds drift in the sky, though his mind was almost always stuck on seunggi. sometimes he was wondering if he was alright, or if he was hungry, or if he was cold. sometimes he was thinking back, reminiscing over memories that scattered the decades they’ve spent together. not often, though, as he found it had that dull ache in his chest spreading and becoming too much to control. and ares did think he was doing an okay job at controlling them — his emotions, that is. the last thing he’d want to do was continue to pile onto seunggi’s plate, you know?

but sometimes ares found his mind drifting as he stared off into the sky, or as he reread the same couple words again and again and again —

sometimes ares found himself inside seunggi’s head. ares would never actively do that, but he’s off his game lately. he’s in his own world, thinking circles around himself and sometimes not even thinking at all. so it made sense that he, at times, found his way into a neighboring mind. when he realized what was happening he always pulled right back out — but.

but.

there was something about the thoughts that trickled into his mind that had his eyes drifting away from his book. seconds later ares ended up pushing that book to the side, and from there? well — maybe if he was thinking straight (or thinking at all) ares wouldn’t have let himself in. literally — like, he wouldn’t have let himself into seunggi’s mind or into the bathroom.

he’s glad he did, though.

ares really only wanted see. he wanted to watch. so, it’s safe to say he was feeling very spoiled now. to not only see the other man in such a way, but to hear his sounds and feel him under his hands? to be the reason he felt so good? after everything? this is the most normal, the most comfortable, he’s felt in months. even if seunggi’s words were true and nothing changed outside of the shower, right now everything felt right. and ares didn’t want to think about anything else right now. he wanted to stay in this little bubble with seunggi in his hands and those moans filling the shower.

one hand looped around to grab at seunggi’s chest and the other dropped for a handful of ass, “you feel so good,” ares couldn’t help but indulge in the things that have been so sparse lately — hence the wandering hands all too eager to grope and squeeze as their hips collided again and again (4). he did have some sense to him, though — enough to resist turning seunggi for a kiss. at least for now, he’d see how much willpower he had left in five minutes. “fuck, seunggi — do you like it, baby? tell me —“ he had no intentions of changing the angle when it had seunggi moaning like this, but ares was willing to compromise elsewhere if need be. like a hand on seunggi’s cock, or fucking him faster — ares would give him whatever he wanted.

[idleds]

it was ridiculous just how quickly ares' change in angle shut him up, leaving him a foolish mess against the wall. but that wasn't to say that his mind turned off. no, he was well aware of where ares touched him and just how heavily. partially because he still so mad at ares, but also because—

well, he missed him.

he missed feeling ares so close— not just during sex, but in the day to day normalities. everything felt so blurry now, with nothing to tell him up from down or right from wrong. usually, his world revolved around ares, because no one really understood him like the other man. physically, mentally, emotionally— no one was like ares. nothing was like ares. it was frustrating, being so distant from the man he loved because he was so scared of losing him, especially when he missed him enough to make his heart feel like it was going to stop in his chest. but it was hard to accept and cope with what ares had done, knowing he'd do it all over again.

so, if seunggi was in his right mind, they wouldn't be doing this. they'd probably still be in their separate corners of the house, pretending that they were fine keeping to themselves for the sake of seunggi's feelings. but he wasn't in his right mind (he actually thinks his common sense has been flying around the solar system since he felt ares press against him, actually), so they're here. with seunggi moaning his heart out and ares fucking to his heart's content. a little fitting, he guessed.

"s'good—" he clamored out, the tone in his voice saying that it was much better than good, that he liked it more than he could admit. not out of spite— he just didn't think he'd be able to physically string the words together like this. his hand fell back to grab at ares' hip, nails digging in in the hopes of encouraging ares to keep going (not that he really needed it, he was sure). his opposite hand went grabbing around the one ares had on his chest, clutching at it hard as his weight rocked between the wall and ares over and over. "just like that— just like that—"

[mcflymemes]

A WHOLE BUNCH OF QUESTIONS *  assorted questions i just came up with, adjust as necessary.

where did you find this?

you really thought this would work?

was it something i said?

have you been keeping this from me the whole time?

would you help me zip this in the back?

are you paying attention to me?

when were you going to tell me the truth?

who are you, really?

will you help me lift this?

where did this even come from?

who gave you this?

where did you learn to shoot like that?

did you ever think it would come to this?

when did you know?

do you believe in ghosts?

are you telling me the truth?

does it ever stop hurting?

would you pass that to me?

would you ever consider... us?

can you turn the lights off when you go?

maybe you could give me a massage?

was that a good idea?

do you think i was too harsh?

do you realize what you just did?

when's the last time you slept?

are you mocking me?

who taught you to use a sword?

was that fun? did you have a good time?

so when are we doing that again?

will you come upstairs?

what was that sound?

did anyone follow you?

do you think we're alone?

will you stay with me? keep me company for the night?

do you regret sleeping with me?

would you take that pot off the stove for me?

would you teach me how to fight?

will you promise to tell me the truth?

why did you lie?

where did these guys come from?

should we call for help?

was that someone upstairs?

when were you supposed to be back?

could you try harder next time?

where did you find this?

what is the meaning of this?

what does the map say?

can you find an answer?

what if we run out of time?

when's the next game?

did you mean it? when you said you loved me?

why don't i believe you?

why are you making excuses?

when's the next train?

we're shit out of luck, aren't we?

why is it so cold in here?

would you please get up off your ass and help me?

was that so hard?

were you in love with me back then?

[ohisms]

‪‪❤︎‬ ˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 & 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 !    (  a  collection  of  75+ kisses.   feel free to specify the initiating muse.   potentially mature content within.  UPDATED 02/25 !  )

finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for.

pulling them in for a kiss while showering together.

a kiss shared during a game  ( truth or dare,  spin the bottle,  etc ).

kissing your lover to show you forgive them.

a coy, chaste kiss meant to say thank you.

an intimate kiss full of relief the second you're finally alone.

wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them.

a kiss muffled by laughter in a library, hidden away among the shelves.

lazy kisses on the sofa while the television runs.

kisses while wrapping your legs around your lover.

a quick peck on the cheek as one party rushes off.

a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them.

a kiss to convince them not to leave bed in the morning.

a kiss to distract them from stitching a wound.

a parting kiss before one party goes away for a long time.

biting their lip amidst a kiss, drawing blood.

heated kisses while tugging on their hair.

abruptly kissing a stranger to scare off the people following you.

an emotional kiss bringing one party to tears.

a bruising kiss full of desperation and urgency.

distracting your lover from a task by kissing their neck.

standing on your tiptoes to kiss their forehead.

kissing down the column of your lover's neck, leaving marks.

a kiss while being reunited after a long time.

kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy.

a dutiful kiss with no true feeling behind it.

kissing your lover to take away their pain.

colliding with a wall, then each other's lips.

a kiss placed over their freshly bandaged wound.

a kiss while slow dancing close and intimately.

sharing a spontaneous kiss with a stranger.

an abrupt ,  heated kiss during the middle of a fight.

a kiss motivated by a dare from a third party.

an adrenaline-fueled kiss while standing on the ledge of a rooftop.

kissing them to shut them up.

urgent, messy kisses as both parties scramble to undress.

a kiss to wake your lover up in the morning.

sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain.

kissing your lover just above their waistband.

kissing your partner to seal a marriage.

pushing your love down onto the bed to worship their body with kisses.

a possessive kiss to stake a claim.

a kiss to resolve suppressed ( romantic / sexual ) tension.

a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay.

kissing the top of their head as you hold them.

a risky kiss between forbidden lovers.

a kiss while hiding away from flashing cameras.

a kiss that means absolutely nothing.

kissing the swell of your lover's breast.

a kiss that leaves lipstick stains.

a kiss shared on a rooftop while the sun ( sets / rises ).

a flirtatious kiss on the back of the hand.

sensual kisses down the length of their back.

kissing them to confess your true feelings.

sneaking off to a public bathroom to make out.

a kiss to forgive one another after a fight.

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps.

an  ( accidental / mutually )  drunken kiss.

an unexpected kiss during a fake dating scheme.

kissing your partner after they've given you head.

caging your lover against a wall with your arms to kiss them.

a kiss after receiving good news.

an emotional kiss, relieved to find your lover alive.

crowded, heated kisses in the backseat of a car.

a tentative ,  exploratory kiss between friends.

a kiss shared between enemies during combat.

a kiss that smears blood everywhere.

kissing them even though you know you shouldn't.

kissing your lover after believing you’d lost them.

a kiss after a devastating event ,  meant to comfort.

a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party.

kisses while pulling them into your lap.

a heated kiss while holding them by the throat.

kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing.

a kiss to seal a promise that you just made.

kissing your lover lazily first thing in the morning.

holding your lover by the jaw to kiss them.

holding their face, kissing the tears from their cheeks.

a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body.

an abrupt kiss that you melt into after a moment of hesitation.

sleepy ,  domestic morning kisses in the kitchen while making breakfast.

a rushed kiss before one party leaves for work.

a final kiss shared while holding your dying lover.

[recordmemes]

༘⋆｡ stirring the pot starters

a mix of arguments, tension, manipulation, gossiping, fighting, & general emotional messiness!

you  weren't  supposed  to  hear  that.

don't  look  at  me  like  i'm  the  only  one  lying.

want  to  tell  them,  or  should  i?

you  think  i  don't  know  what  you  did?

i've  hit  people  for  less.

oh,  i  thought  you  already  knew.

that's  funny,  you  didn't  say  that  last  night.

say  that  again.  i  dare  you.

you  wanna  talk  about  loyalty?

no  offense,  but  if  you're  the  last  to  know,  that's  on  you.

go  ahead  -  pretend  like  it  wasn't  your  idea!

they  deserve  to  know  the  truth.

you  didn't  hear  this  from  me,  but  -

oh,  so  now  you  care?

don't  flatter  yourself.  you  were  just  convenient.

you  crossed  a  line.

we  had  bets  on  how  long  it  would  last.

it's  not  even  a  secret  anymore.

you  don't  get  to  cry  about  it  now.

touch  me  again  and  see  what  happens.

say  it  again.  louder  this  time.

you  really  thought  nobody  would  find  out?

don't  act  so  innocent.

okay,  but  am  i  the  villain  for  laughing?

tell  me  who  else  knows.  right  now.

this  whole  time,  and  you  didn't  say  a  word?

don't  act  brave  now.

you're  really  gonna  do  this  here?

it  wasn't  supposed  to  get  this  far!

you  can't  rewrite  history.

oh,  i'd  never  say  it  to  their  faces.

it  was  supposed  to  stay  between  us.

we're  all  thinking  it,  i  just  said  it.

you're  not  as  untouchable  as  you  act.

do  you  even  feel  guilty?

they  warned  me  about  you.

go  ahead,  make  it  worse.

if  you  repeat  this,  i'll  deny  everything.

the  next  thing  out  of  your  mouth  better  be  an  apology.

you're  about  three  seconds  away  from  regretting  this.

you  keep  pushing,  and  i'll  push  you  back.

they're  going  to  find  out.

one  more  lie,  and  i  walk.

they're  lying  to  you.

you  need  to  back  off.  now.

you're  defending  them?  after  everything?

don't  try  to  hide  it.

tell  me,  was  i  just  a  placeholder?

you  really  think  sorry  fixes  this?

there's  nothing  left  to  say.

don't  act  like  you're  the  one  hurting.

i  don't  owe  you  any  explanation.

whatever  helps  you  sleep  at  night.

you  should've  seen  this  coming.

i  hope  it  was  worth  it.

i  told  the  truth.  just  not  all  of  it.

you'll  miss  me  before  i  miss  you.

smile.  you're  ruining  the  mood.

i'd  watch  that  tone  if  i  were  you.

it's  not  my  fault  you  believed  me.

you  have  such  a  talent  for  pretending  you're  innocent.

we  both  know  this  is  over.

i  never  said  i  was  a  good  person.

i  thought  you  were  different.

[hollowprompts]

` * 𝐈𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 : a mix of dialogue and action prompts. sent "+ reverse" to reverse the roles.

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 :

➔ you're gonna be okay , just keep your eyes on me. ➔ don't move - you're going to make it worse. ➔ it's not that bad. ➔ you saved me once before , now it's my turn. ➔ you fucking idiot , you weren't supposed to take the hit for me. ➔ i told you not to do that! now look! ➔ you're lucky that i know basic first aid , or you'd be dead! ➔ stay with me, okay? stay awake. ➔ i'll be as gentle as i can be , i promise. ➔ you're bleeding - oh my god , you're bleeding. ➔ you told me it was a scratch , this is not a fucking scratch! ➔ there's so much blood. ➔ next time you want to play here , just don't. ➔ stop fighting me and let me help! ➔ you're banned from doing anything remotely dangerous. ➔ you could have died , what were you thinking? ➔ if you die on me , i'm going to be pissed off. ➔ you didn't have to be so reckless just to prove a fucking point. ➔ the wound will heal but you'll have a scar.

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

[ carry ] sender carries receivers muse to safety after finding them injured. [ stitch ] sender stitches receivers wound. [ hand ] sender holds receivers hand during a painful procedure. [ wound ] sender cleans receivers wounds with gentle and shaky hands. [ panic ] sender panics while trying to stop receiver's bleeding. [ patch ] sender patches receiver up using makeshift materials (i.e. torn shirt). [ fire ] sender drags receiver out of a burning building. [ pressure ] sender puts deep pressure on receivers wound while yelling for help. [ mouth ] sender gives receiver mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. [ change ] sender helps receiver change out of bloodied clothes. [ wash ] sender helps wash dried blood off of receivers face. [ shower ] sender helps receiver shower after an injury. [ broken ] sender tries to stabilize receivers broken limb with rope and sticks.