I havenāt posted my cosplays on my blog which is kinda a shame bc I really like my Sayaka one especiallyā¦
Iām going through some of my cosplay videos trying to find a reference to draw Sai, but itās hard to be satisfied with any Sayaka I draw when she doesnāt come out prettier than me ā ļø like wtf how do niggas draw pretty womenā¦?
Video for basis bc I love my Sayaka cosplay but also like to explain what I meanā like this whole video is perfect for a reference but so hard to accomplish cuz Iām a low level :/
Tagging this bc I do like my Sayakaā¦ (though ik I could do better, yap yap)
Normal people: I really like this fanfic. Iām gonna leave a heartfelt comment and a kudo.
Me: I really like this fanfic. I think Iām going to read it every few months, cosplay it, and study it enough so I can replicate the writing style and write my own fics similarly so it has the stuff I really liked!
You know what, thatās not enough. Iām also going to learn how to draw just so the cosplay ideas I had for it are easier to accomplish. Hm. Iām also gonna write a fic about that fic. Shit. I need get some tattoos on my wrist, so I can look down and smile remembering the fic and its impact on me too. You know what, I also need a shortcut on my phone that allows me to insta click onto the series.
Thatās normal. Thatās what normal people do. :)
I definitely donāt have room decor with quotes from the story or physical things the characters had in my room or plans to make the fic into a physical book either. Noā¦. Very normal about this fic. ā¦I wonder at this point if itās obsession or just pure love and admiration for the work. #smaod #iloveitsomuch
On a real note though, idk if I ever really could get back into Kiridare for two main reasons: relatability and sex appeal
They have neither for me ā ļø not a Yui or Kyoko kin & Iām not 13 having Kyoko be my gay awakening anymore </3
It sucks but I feel like itās a true progression going from omg Kyoko is so cool to omg I love Mukuro so much, itās euphoric she gets more abused than me lmfao.
Once you go from fearing a familiar unit and being driven insane from emotional games/physical threats to reading a story about a hot ass character going through the same thingā thereās no going back. ā¦+Sayaka is fineeeee AND I can see myself as her?? Itās a real wrap for any other ship for me.
Danagnronpa Kirigiri was meant to be gay. It was written to be romantic. The author is just Japanese and Japan is weird about age gaps & incest shit so it makes kiridare āup for debateā or āpervertedā, but if u actually read itā¦ itās clearly meant to be queer. Itās actually a really tragic love story that many will never see bc dangan just had to make shit sus
I'm telling you how I see celesaya, or celeszono, whatever you call it. This will be more about Celestia.
In canon, we see her as a confident girl with high self-esteem, and she has every reason to be: she's certainly beautiful, very smart and rich. She lives a near-perfect life. And she's not deprived of attention, at least from men (Hifumi is an example). Most likely, she received a lot of admiration from others even before entering Hope's Peak. But she remained lonely (her most precious thing is literally a cat, guys). Perhaps she pushed people away, trying to show that she didn't need it, or simply not considering anyone worthy enough to be close to her. Celestia has reached such heights, accomplished so much that people usually don't achieve in their entire lives, and she's only about 16 or 17 years old, yet she exists with a lack of warm human love and care. And when Sayaka appears in her life, genuinely interested in Celestia as a person, everything falls into place. Caring, kind and loving, Sayaka makes Celestia's life so much brighter. With Sayaka, Celestia can be herself without fear of being considered ordinary and uninteresting. This is literally the final push to create a perfect life; the puzzle comes together, everyone is happy and content (especially me)
If you have any other thoughts or headcanons about their relationship, let me knowāit would be interesting to read :D
Not a thought or head canon but when I was writing a scene of Sayaka meeting the class, I thought there could definitely be chemistry between the two that Iāll share:
āBefore Sayaka can sit too long with the feeling of being immediately disliked she hears a fake upitty sounding giggle from the very right side of the class, nearest the door. There she sees a girl that made her curious at a first glance before. Everything about her stands out, it must be intentional. Sayaka is curious about who would wear such an expensive black and red gown to a field trip to a museum. Even from here Sayaka can tell itās of good quality, she probably paid a fortune for it.
She too is a beautiful woman, Sayaka surmises after discreetly looking her over again. Sheās got the most beautiful face shape. Sayaka can tell sheās incredibly naturally beautiful, even behind all the makeup it shines through. Her hair probably isnāt her type but itās clear thatās what sheās going for with such a style, as if sheās unapologetically her. The boldness is a bit refreshing, at least she wonāt ever be the most opinionated in the room. She wonders what sheās giggling about.
The woman noticing sheās being stared at returns her gaze with a tight smile adorned on her face. She aduibly smacks her lips a little before saying, āFor such a world renowned figure like yourself Iām surprised that you wore something soā¦ā She pretends to think for a moment before continuing, āCheap and lackluster after all the buildup. For someone with such a following for setting trends, Iām underwhelmed to see you in something so unoriginal. I find that introductions are a representation of who you are as a person, itās best to look your best at all times then, no?ā
This woman going on about introductions despite the fact that she hasnāt given her own makes herself seem important. Part of Sayaka wants to tell her that sheās not, and the following sheās just mentioned would probably really love her outfit. Another part of her wants to tell her she really didnāt ask for her opinion and to keep it to herself.ā
Idk I feel like if it were that ship theyād clash a bit āmostly from Celeste, but I feel thatās kinda an appeal.
Idk pt2ā¦ while writing this fic I felt like sayaka had chemistry with lowk everyone in the classroom. Since sheās not the mc itās not something youād really think about until writing/thinking in her perspective. If Iām ever down bad enough I could maybe write a nsfw sayaka fucks everyone fic lmao
That moment when I finally fucking finish my 285k word fic and can work on other shit.
That moment when I post the first fully finished ikuzono fic tbh ā ļø Clap and a half for the ship to finally have a (longer than 15k words) completed work that only focuses on themā¦
Me when Iām 8k words into my next chapter of 250k story Iām almost done with.
Me when Iām 5k words into my next prompt of the story that motivated me to finish writing the aforementioned first.
Me when Iām 84k words into a fic I wanna post after the first that needs to be redone.
Me when Iām 5k words into a concept about Sayaka and Mukuro being famous enemies to fuckers.
Me when Iām 5k words into a concept about Sayaka bullying Mukuro in South Korea. Bullyās to fuckers.
Me when Iām 9k words into a concept about S+M being friends with benefits in Hopes Peak.
Me when Iām 3k words into a concept about S+M being ifefk it was an idea and Iām 3k words in.
Me when Iām thinking about a fic where both of them are getting abused and start fucking each other as revenge until one of them finally decides to kill for the other and leave.
I wanna write a fic where sayaka rescues mukuro from future foundation knowing sheāll get killed if caught. Using makoto, probably getting him killed if theyāre not nice enough to let him go for that. Then wiping Mukuroās memory the same way she did her and then then living together for a bit before the world blows up.
So many options, so few time. Lemme hop on Google Docs
Actually tho how far is too far bc I know some people are fun police.
Iām thinking sex rn, specificallyā¦ Maybe even c/nc
I think they didnāt talk about kinks/boundaries & some were definetly pushed w/o asking, however comma, I think theyāre soulmates so it all worked out for the best anyway.
As in to say.
Morally grey sex that could have been a darker grey had one of em not been so into it. I can see that happening.
I think Iām gonna have to lead the chargeā¦ the only way to get more fucked up ikuzono fics is to write it myself LIKE EVERYTHING WITH THIS SHIP. Good lord.
Everyday I cry thinking about how fucked a ship ikuzono is & how terribly misunderstood they were to their fans.
#justiceforthisship
They could have been so great. Unfortunately, theyāve been reduced to fluffy, sleepy time cuddles every night. All comfort, no hurt bc ātheir characters have gone through so much, that itās impossible to put them through moreā.
Here's a dissertation that's AO3-related. No shade to anyone ever, idc, it's fanfictionā a hobby we don't get paid for. I like breakdowns on my interests. Letās talk about long fics. What is considered one, how to finish them, and thoughts on why they donāt get done.
Disclaimer finished, bluntness without acknowledging nuance activated:
I feel like we kind of lost the plot of what a "long" fanfiction is. ...Like can you really tag that before you've even hit a 10k word count? I know length is subjective, butā¦
Intent vs reality, man.
Truly, I think if you're intending to tell a long story, the first few chapters should be done before you hit create on Ao3. How can anyone take the completion of the work seriously at all āhaving gone through what we all haveā but especially when it's been months between the first and third chapters? Like you didn't even have the third chapter written or the time to do so before citing you're creating a long workā¦?
Why would I be interested in that? Why are you breaking my heart, because I am? I've made it a rule that "long" fics with more than two chapters with word counts lower than 6 thousand words are not actually a long fic or worth the emotional energy to get invested in. (And low key, maybe shouldn't be tagged as such until we see the tangible results.)
Because what really is that? Truly?? I'd understand if the chapters are short, but the updates were daily. But seriously, why are we waiting three months for a 2k word update? The pace it's going at means it'll be finished... right around absolutely never. Weāre never getting out of the exposition!
For low stamina writers, I wish people would just write the main conflict of the story instead of building up to a problem that will never come up or get resolved. The intro chapter has me invested because I want to see the characters Iām reading about get together/ solve/ do the thing. Iāll still want that, though lesser, if you had just jumped straight there. I just feel like if you have a vision you want to write, write that thing instead of building up to it and losing interest before reach that climatic point.
Also, for long fics. Long chapters vs short chapters always. 2k words is a small scene, not a full chapter in most cases. A long story would usually span a few days/weeks/years, youāll never progress if a simple scene is the whole chapter. By chapter 15 the characters will have just made it out the room their in. It waste time having to re-set up context every few thousand words versus just continuing from where you left off. On top of that longer chapters builds more immersion and creates a better experience for readers.
Long fics imply itās long enough that you can sink your teeth into it. Read for hours. Thirty second chapters donāt represent that.
So, just yapping, but if youāre intending on completing a long story, I would implore you to write the first few chapters out in advance. See if it's something you can stomach. Figure out your pacing. Ensure that you know in your heart of hearts you won't lose interest after a few months. Actual long fics take years to finish sometimes. If by next Tuesday you're out... Why even start it and clickbait?
Donāt think about how long it will take to get it done but go scene by scene enjoying writing how you saw it playing out in your head. Maladaptiving is fun, but actually reading the concept is better. Less random backflipping, more control over exactly what you want to see.
On another, related note, I know people say "quality over quantity," but I say "slop" over "stop". At least slop is something. Not writing anything at all because every chapter needs to be perfect leads to burnout and slow writing. Slow writing means it'll never get done. The longer it takes... the interest in finishing the story dies down. Stay consistent, and don't write for dopamine from comments, which is the way I see most people fold.
Every few thousand words, stopping because you just want the chapter out, or to get engagement, is kind of silly to me. I already mentioned this, but fully fleshed chapters are what you'd want in a "long fic". Breaking every two minutes kills the flow and also makes it hard to remember what even happened between updates.
So yeah, my advice/complaint is if you're a person with an idea who wants to see the concept completely done... don't fall into that trap. Write the work completely for yourself, stay consistent. Breaks between chapters are fic killers, so you have to be careful about doing that. There's only so much motivation driven from engagement by others thatāll actually make sure you get the story completed. Stay driven, stay locked in, get it done like you want.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like just keeping the skeleton. Utter shit, but thereās also something beautiful about the raw version of a draft that no one will ever know. Intimate things only writers would know, I guess.
Sometimes, I wonder what little lines of dialogue were cut/alrered or meant to be added but couldnāt when reading my favorite fics. I actually wish I could read their minds the entire time. āCough, SMASOD by BeeAnka, coughā Iāve read her fic so many times, I think Iām actually closer at being able to do that a bit.
Here are some more wants I have for this pairing. They're accompanied by a rambling dissertation on how I view Ikuzono. Keyword in all this is I.
I want a Mukuro who is confident. A Mukuro who went to Fenrir, was one of the best soldiers, didnāt get hurt (or did), and only came home for her sister. A Mukuro who despite leaving Fenrir for her sister, said sister wants nothing to do with her once sheās returned. So, sheās planning on leaving again as soon as she graduates Hopes Peak if itās a non-despair au. I want that, I want her.
I need a Mukuro who misses the rage, man. One who doesnāt care about anyone other than her sister and actually means that. Where her dialogue and actions reflect her supposed mentality. Explain it to me within the lines of text in the story why Fenrir trained Ikusaba Mukuro would be stuttering because of a basic social interactionā¦
I want a Sayaka who is genuinely fucking busy. I want a Sayaka who KNOWS she can be manipulative and how to be. Not as in sheās a total liar, but I want her self aware and prepared to utilize that tool. I want a Sayaka who keeps the attitude out of her tone in front of people because of her livelihood. I want a Sayaka who is *only* constantly thinking of her talent and fameā no one else (maybe besides her bandmates). A selfish kind of person.
I want Mukuro to approach first. Unheard of, but it is something I wantā¦ I want Mukuro to chase. I want Mukuro to serve, double entendre intended. They both have various degrees of danger in their lines of work. Why in so many bodies of fiction between the two are they so soft and innocent? I think theyād like a bit of dangerā¦
I want Sayaka to kinda know how bad of a person Mukuro is and accept her anyway. I need more fics of them being terrible people, man. I wish that wasnāt as rare as it is.
I could make a list of things of things I donāt want, but that could be rudeā¦ So Iāll put it under the line.
I only have one bullet for my list actually, I lied. Itās fluff.
I donāt want fluff.
Stop that, no more.
The best way for me to explain why I don't like it is to explain what Ikuzono as a whole looks like to me, so let's step back a second. This is genuinely how I see this relationship:
Sai and M are a perfect match. They understand each other better than anyone ever will, and they know it. They love each other so deeply. They are two puzzle pieces that only go togetherā¦ That is, until they realize there were more attachment sides of them that they really should have considered before cementing themselves together into the game. All of that to say:
Suddenly, Mukuro turns into Mukuro + Junko. Suddenly, Sayaka turns into Sayaka + her occupation. Sayaka + her selfishness. Mukuro + her selflessness. Suddenly, just "love" isn't enough to change. Love isn't enough to stop anything.
I personally feel as if thereās only but so many ways that these two can actually make it work. I feel as if the thrill of this ship - its unique charm - is going into fics thinking, āMaybe they'll work out this time". Thatās the Ikuzono appeal to me, what draws me in.
Only a certain amount of time, communication, and reasons to wear rose-tinted glasses that make them feel like they've fallen in love in the first place are going to make these obstacles solvable, and for how long really? Being aware of this requires thought and attention to their characters... As in seeing them outside of their relationship and how cute they *could* theortically be. You know, when you strip their characters to make them more digestible.
Writing for these two is really hard in my opinion because firstly you have to be aware of who you're writing about and then you have to find some sort of way to make them work. I don't think it's hard getting them together, but staying that way is pretty difficult in my opinion. It's hard to sell me on quick one-shots about how great, sweet, and fixed they are when there's no reason presented as to how they really got that way (especially if it's in the future or a non-despair universe, ironically). Which is my problem with fluff...
In a lot of really sweet, fluffy works, none of this is addressed. It's sweet! ...But it waters down and dilutes the characters. But it's sweet- they're holding hands!! ā¦In this, by the way, don't mind Mukuro's right hand not having a tattoo because she never went to Fenrir... that's a little too heavy. #NotMyMukuro, she wouldn't kill people.
I'm exaggerating my example, but that's how it reads to me. Obviously, Iām a nerd and really invested in the characters. I wouldnāt expect every single author to really understand the core issues within these two and how it would affect their relationship, but I really am surprised that itās *such* a miss.
Iāve only read a handful of fics where they even seemed familiar with the concept that these two are kind of doomed, let alone them exploring the reasons as to why. Itās usually:
āHi, Iām Sayaka Maizono, and I love you.ā
āIām Mukuro Ikusaba, and I get beaten by my sister. Iām sad. I fall in love easily, so I love you, too.ā
āYouāre cured!ā
This dumbed-down example is something that occurs within all fanfiction as a whole, obviously, but specifically thinking of Ikuzono right now, I have a grievance with it. To be completely blunt:
This format of how so many stories go for the ship feels really... unoriginal and almost like a disservice to it or at least its potential. Many authors chose to neglect key aspects that truly define one or both of the characters because itās simply easier to avoid than confront.
My frustration is to what extent does that actually start to warp the characters and the ship into that false reality. The reality where every fic dances around the characters and only uses their basic characterizations because itās simpler than taking the actual character as a whole. Where itās avoided so much the mere mention of Fenrir starts to become more obsolete and forgotten. And those simpler watered down characterizations become the new standard and expectation. Kind of like a Nelson Mandela situation?
But you know, maybe Iām lost in the Kool-aid. One of these characters Iām talking about only gets about 2 1/2 minutes of screen time in the anime. But for a moment where we can think deeply about fanfiction 12 year olds are writingā¦ Back to the stupid scene I wrote above a moment a final time:
I feel as if itās exclusively Ikuzono that this format doesnāt work. Iād have an easier time believing a scene like this playing out between what other other ships these characters have. Most other characters like letās say Kirigiri doesn't have to stop being a detective to do it her talent in a healthier way; she'll fight you on it, but it's possible. Makoto 'fixing' Mukuro with a pep talk and a kiss is believable because he's the ultimate hope. Absolutely, it's unrealistic to say, "Omg a little hope could cure Mukuroās despair", but isnāt that the whole appeal of that ship? They know what makes their ship special.
Ikuzono's specialty... is that they don't have that. Sayaka Maizono is contract-bound, not only that, but she loves her career. She's loyal to her work and bandmates. Mukuro Ikusaba is contract-bound either to Fenrir, her sister, or a feeling of hopelessness if she's not involved with either. Mukuro is violence and thereās a question to be explored about whether she likes it. Both of them have qualities that are dangerous and destructive to themselves and others, but neither of them can or will drop it... Just like their relationship with each other. Theyāre both so in love that they canāt let each other go despite the fact that they absolutely would for their innate talents. Boom, that's the conflict, that's an ounce of the juicy, unique flavor that Ikuzono brings to the table.
I feel as if their entire relationship is trying to break each other out of that mold and seeing how successful they get. Even those two know theyāre doomed.
I like Sayaka and Mukuro together for more reasons than "Eh, sheās a girl. Sheās a girl. They should fuck." As solid a reason as that is.
If you were to ask me, Ikuzono is meant to make you feel a pit in your stomach whenever you think of them like, āGod, theyāre so fucking doomed.ā And fluff doesnāt align with thatā¦ Iām shocked by the amount of fluff this ship has, I think Naegiri is more angsty than them somehow.
I mean legitimately, within the canon. The concept is that Mukuro put Sayaka into a killing game. Like, the whole concept of Ikuzono is supposed to make you feel uneasy when you think about them together. About that power dynamic. I crave the high of reading a really good fic where I don't know if or who's going to betray who, or why they will or have. I love a kiss they share that makes me feel kind of gross as a reader about whether they really should be doing that or not.
I understand the conflict: Mukuro is fucked, she actively helped start the tragedy. Any canon compliant fic sheās in automatically makes her a really bad guy or kills any type of future talk that Sayaka wants to sing aboutā¦ I understandā¦ not wanting to write that and changing some things. It kind of hard to shove a genuine romance in between all that. S/O to the goat BeeAnka for existing and posting their work to show us itās possible.
And while I get that, even in a non-despair Hopeās Peak au, Mukuro was still an active duty child soldier. All that trauma will not dissolve with a kiss. And Sayakaā¦ You donāt wanna talk about the fact that Mukuro has definitely killed civilians, children, probably even some of your fans? That reality is not something that exists in any universe? Mukuro isnāt absolutely BORED at being coddled by Sayaka 24/7??
But then I remember that the Sayaka that most people write is a Sayaka who is a normal weight, a Sayaka that is a sweet, harmless doll, and is so fucking normal that she basically doesnāt work at all. While Iām writing a Sayaka who actually doesnāt die in the killing game at all, because she wouldnāt have made some of the decisions she made and gotten folded like that. So you know, to each their own. There's no correct version, except, you know... mine.
My Sayaka knows better than thatā¦ She wouldnāt go out like that. I write the Sayaka I want to see in the world.
I feel as if Tumblr usually hits the nail on the head with these twoās characterizations. Ao3 makes me feel crazy a little sometimes for wanting them to be morally grey characters, which I find ironic considering the site and why weāve met there.
Overall, I guess to wrap up my point about fluff in Ikuzono (or whatever I'm yapping aboutā¦), I like it, but thatās not why Iām here. I came in knowing theyāre doomed and fucked up. I came here wanting to read and explore that. Iām really surprised that so many people came to be happy, which makes me feel a bit like a party pooperā¦ like I wanna be happy with yāall?? But actually, maybe letās go to a different fucking party though, god damn. ...Meet me down at another ship's tag. This one really is all I have for reading about a morally wrong soldier following terrible orders because sheās fucked just like her childhood. My favorite solider with a batshit crazy sister who ruins every good mood she has, whoās brainwashing her to fuck her girlfriend who she loves more than life itself and the world over. The one with said girlfriend, who is hot and pretty and popular, and a great foil to Mukuro.
Anyway, live love all Ikuzono works. I read every single fic. If people knew about how great of a dynamic these two have, I'm sure they'd be writing it. Itās pretty peak.
Iām thinking of Toko/Jill/Jack (whoever) with their whole (terribly done) DID dissociative order insta switches.
I feel like this has been said but Iām thinking about it now. Do you think every month on her period her classmates think: fuck, this pms shit goes crazy???
Cuz like totally weirdo chick who mumbles to herself in a stutter all the time goes to being the loudest (rudest) in the room randomly every few weeks for days straight. People probably started cataloguing her period just to anticipate the switch lmao
Guess my special interest? I personally think I have the coolest room everā¦.. (lots of thx to my husband for MAKING the Mukuro funko pop and portraits)
Room shit pt.1 cuz I have more mukuro shit my partner is making rn lmfao
