I feel like giving up, like nothing really matters anymore. Its been really hard lately. I've lost the most important people in my life and I just feel like nothing really matters anymore. I'm not worth it anymore. And maybe I could’ve gone places, I could’ve made a difference and I could’ve had a great life, but right now I don’t feel like any of it matters. Like its not worth fighting for anymore. I know I've made mistakes and I know I've been a shitty person and for that I'm so so sorry. But I was who I was. And now I'm gone. I wish there was a switch, something I could just do to stop caring and hurting and thinking and being so god damn upset all the time. But there isn’t. and all these emotions are to much for me now. I'm sorry for all the people I've hurt, and betrayed and upset. I'm sorry iwasnt good enough or strong enough. I'm sorry I was such a horrible friend and that at the end of the day just a horrible person. I know I'm not meant to be perfect, but I'm so far from anything redeemable at this point, it just doesn’t make a difference anymore. I'm better off gone. I'm better off not being around to hurt the people I care most about. No more disappointment, no more causing others stress or worry. I tried. I tried really hard. But I'm done trying.
