skinny diaries

my old account @ieatandspeaktoomuch got deleted so I'm starting fresh :/

[ieatandspeakto0much]

Turns out I just needed to quit drinking. I've quit everything poisonous it seems. Other than my job. Damn.

[ieatandspeakto0much]

Just saw this girl walk into where I work and I know her from highschool and she's so fucking thin and pretty. Just when I was starting to feel good about my body and looks, I see her in person and she's stunning. Ugh. It's not her fault, not at all. I'm just pathetic and I weigh 60kg. My goal isn't 55kg anymore, it's gone back down to 45kg. I don't care. God I hate myself, especially since I'm sweating like a fucking pig at work and then I see her, dressed so pretty, dyed hair, nice dress. I used to have hair like that... I have dresses like that.... But nothing could compare to her. My 5kg drop means nothing to me now. I shall be restricting even more and working out even harder. Fuck, I want to scream and cry

[ieatandspeakto0much]

This new job is incredible! Ive dropped 5kg. I'm at 60kg and I've stayed at 60kg for weeks now and I just weighed myself and I'm almost at 59kg! I'm getting closer and closer to my goal weight!! And my body is more toned and my stomach is flatter as I have to use my stomach muscles to push trolleys, and my butt is bigger and more toned. I'm so so happy. I just ordered lunch but I'm scared to eat it because I don't want to ruin my flat stomach but we'll see how it goes. I'm so proud of myself for working so hard. It is possible. I really didn't think I could change but it is possible.

[ieatandspeakto0much]

I had nothing to eat all day and my stomach was growling so loud and when my boyfriend got home from work we got KFC cause we were both starving and I feel so sick after eating all of it. 1119 calories. One thousand, one hundred and nineteen calories. I feel so huge and sick, I want to cry.

[lmages-remade]

when i was a kid. an adolescent. i remember clinging to this hope that someday the people around me would think about the way they treated me and have this sudden realization that they were hurting me in massive, traumatic ways, and that one day they would wake up and suddenly shriek My god, what have i done to this child? and grab me by the shoulders and kneel down and go oh my god. oh my god i am so sorry for what i have done to you. and i remember realizing that that would never ever happen was maybe the best thing that couldve ever happened to me

[bodyglitter]

me: yeah im done crying over this lol its not even worth my tears

me 3 seconds later:

[incel-moved-deactivated20210803]

there there girl. now take a sip of the diet coke. there you go. easy now

[she-whodreams]

The reason I gain and lose the same 5lbs over and over.

[tinyfairywannabe]

I wish I had someone to insult me and basically emotionally abuse me into not eating, that would be very nice right now

[skinnybitchs-stuff]

I don't see the point of drinking casually, like tf?? I drink to get drunk, not trynna ingest some extra cals to NOT get crazy🤨

[thinlikeglass]

[angelsklnn]

people don’t understand how mentally draining having an eating disorder is. they assume you just skip a meal a day and then boom you lose like 30 pounds then recover. they don’t realize that you lose all your energy and can barely even function. you lose friends over it, get horrible grades, have to stop working, lose interest & energy in pursuing passions and hobbies. it fucking sucks and they make it so obvious they don’t give a shit about us.

[railthinangel]

In 2 weeks you'll feel it

In 4 weeks you'll see it

In 8 weeks you'll hear it

[dxchne]

yeah heartbreaks hurts but have you ever binged on a food you were looking forward to and it just tasted sad and disappointing and all you’re left with is feeling like a overblown whale

[carbsarescary]

i have control issues, mommy issues, adhd and im a perfectionist, it wasnt a question of IF i would develop an ED it was more of a WHEN would i develop it

[skinnydippingcel2]

Do you ever correct your posture just because you think you look fat standing like that?

[ieatandspeakto0much]

I can't stop thinking about all the times I've given up. I'd be skinny by now. I'd have such a nice body by now if I just didn't give up all those times. I hate myself