Everyone holds guilts, regrets, people that they wanted to see. People that they yearn to be again.
For me, I wanted to see them again. I wanted to be that human version of myself again, but...life is cruel. That's why I always see myself as a separate person. The person that I wanted to be again, the child me, not this cartoonized anthro dog person!
Why couldn't I be the one that they tried to save? But then again, do I really need to be saved after what I did. All of those people, my "friends" lied to and tricked because I promised them a way into the castle and a way to rescue their friend. Her name was Skald. She got to keep her human self, still a teen and oh so innocent to this godforsaken husk of a planet called Radiant Gardens.
She really doesn't remember me. Why should she? I don't look like me! I don't feel like me! I'm nobody, my name, the name that I was given when I was first birthed into this world. I refuse to acknowledge his name, Max.
My "friends" are coming. Skald doesn't know me, not from before. I want my old self, I want my old life, I want my old friends, I want everything to go back to the way it was before that catastrophic earth shattering event. Ava promised us that we would get our old selves back, so Skald, Ventus, me and the rest of us lived our day to day like we were real people, not just 1s and 0s in a machine.
I hate myself! If I get to bring the rest of them, I'd be happy, right? Even if they despise me to the very atom of their souls, they'll still be here and I can rest knowing that I can finally fade. Disappearing as they all hate me.
It's funny since I saved that old data world, I sold myself out to keep those four darkness inside, imprisoned with me. Skald, Ventus, Lauriam, Elrena, Ephemer, hell even those other kids have became one with their Chirithy. God, my whining is annoying!
I hear those two kid apprentices coming. Lea and Isa, I think their names were. Who really cares! They'll get to see Skald, but not how I remember her. She's some kind of an abomination, part Emblem Heartless (well, that's what those scientists named them) and half still the girl I knew, she's still lingering. Her crazed grin and glowing amber eyes, I didn't want to see them. She clawed that blue-haired boy's face up with an ugly wound.
I hear them screaming, both of them pleading with the scientists to let them out and to cure their, our friend. She's gone, almost like she has never been here. Project X, Skald, where did you go?
I see her, I'm so happy. Her ghostly, ethereal blade strikes through my middle. I'm sputtering out blood. Maybe I'll go back to that....
Wait, what I am doing with that woman that looks so much like Skald and that shrieking infant? I hide my face away, my life flashes before my eyes, I'm gone! All while that boy, Xehanort looks on and sees my heart ascending.
Was that how I died? I thought I died in that fake world with Ralph. What really happened to me?
"Max!" I hear some kids' screaming my name, they're reaching out to me as I slowly evaporate into nothingness. Why are they despondent? Maybe Skald is back to her old self, maybe I can go back to being my old self before adulthood and reality crashed my world, my heart.
Goodbye, Lea.
Please, stop crying!
We'll likely never cross paths again.