Amateurly Inept

Mixing learnings in strategy and story-telling

[ifevertherewas]

Me when I started the episode: hmmm… something about this friend group seems odd. Our protagonist seems dumb, but I hope they mostly all make it out ok

Me in the last 10 minutes: jaw on the floor, mind blown, slug is my best friend, The Dot has a point

[ifevertherewas]

Back after a hiatus of 6 years. Tumblr has changed and I love it! Or maybe I have? Either way, I think our world has changed a fair bit. It seems like queer stories are more accepted, celebrated than they were 6 years ago.

6 years is not a long time, but it isn’t a short time either. I have loved seeing loving queer relationships on TV and movies - both in English language entertainment and also India, where I’m from. One of the best movies I watched last year was Badhai Do where a gay man and a lesbian woman marry each other to satisfy their parents. No spoilers, but the ending of the movie left me in happy tears.

I’m back this time because I watched season 2 of Good Omens and I felt like I was back during the Sherlock Season 3/4 days. Wanting to know more and connect with people from the community, see fic recommendations, read theories. However, this feels different. Not sure why, but this feels more hopeful and fun.

Excited to be here!

[ifevertherewas]

A note for myself everyday

Don't take yourself too seriously. Take a deep breath and let the heaviness in your chest leave your body. In and out, in and out. Let the heat of your mind and of your body leave as fresh air fills your lungs. Remember that billions lived before and billions will come after you. People have managed to experience and overcoming things much more than you have. This is nothing but a small roadblock. No matter what, it will be OK.

[ifevertherewas]

My rant on mattress buying

After spending hours and hours on multiple mattress review websites (both sponsored and not-sponsored) and looking through product reviews of a ton of mattresses I'm convinced of one thing - it's probably going to end up being a massive time-waste. There are so many metrics against which a mattress is reviewed - sinkage, material, odour, hug, bounce, motion transfer and so much more! Personally, I feel like there are only three things one must focus on: firmness, base layer (foam vs Spring) and price. If you are environmentally conscious, add a fourth. Only these things that tend to be a little inflexible. Everything else can be adjusted - too firm? Add a topper; weird odour? Use febreeze; sleep hot? Add a gel cooling topper on top; too soft? Only thing I don't have the answer to at the moment, but I'm sure something can be done. My point is, buying a mattress should not be this tough and this stressful. For some people, especially international students or recent grads like me, a couple of hundred dollars are worth a lot of money and it is just way too stressful! I'm sure there is an easier way to do this. Wish there was a way I could physically try all the mattresses I see online.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

So on John's blog he mentions a case where him and Sherlock shared a room for a case (The Speckled Blonde) are there any fics???

In relation to this case specifically, I don’t know… but there are plenty of “for a case” bed sharing fics! I am interested though to know if there are any fics related to the Speckled Blonde!!! 

Here are some of my faves!

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock  Prompt: Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John’s bedroom is now a research library. It’s not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They’re friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it’s not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It’ll be fine.

3:00 in the Morning is a Great Time to Talk by Aztecwarfareandcrumping - “Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?” “Obviously.”

BBCSH ‘The Comfort of Company’ by tigersilver - It’s a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

A Restless Pillow by CaffieneKitty - John and Sherlock share a bed, or at least they try to. GEN, Conversation-format.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 - John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. PG-13. Gen, but can be preslash. Rated for swearing.

To Sleep, Perchance to Smother Your Flatmate with a Pillow by Linpatootie (G) - Sherlock wants to conduct a sleep study of sorts. John contemplates smothering him with a pillow.Part 1 of Two Coffees One Black One with Sugar Please (this whole series is amazing, and I love it so much).

I can’t pretend by Salambo06 (E) They had arrived more than a hour ago, and the moment they had walked inside the hotel reception, John had understood why Sherlock hadn’t wanted to come. Two men, posh suits and expensive watches on their wrists, had come to greet them with sharp remarks and badly hidden mockery, and John had seen red. Sherlock hadn’t said anything, mostly ignoring the two men entirely, and without thinking twice about it, John had slid an arm around Sherlock’s waist and introduced himself as his husband.

Everything by patternofdefiance (E) John wakes up with an armful of Sherlock. This – situation – is unusual, yes, and definitely unfamiliar, but in no way does it feel wrong. Rather, it feels the exact opposite.

A Discourse on the Inadequacy of a Duvet by guns_and_poses (T) For a prompt: Sherlock keeps stealing the covers when they share a bed because he wants John to move closer to him when they are sleeping but of course doesn’t want to ask. John gets annoyed at first until he realises what Sherlock wants and is more than happy to oblige.

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T) 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John’s bed, and the one time he didn’t need one.

A Terrific Soporific by antietamfalls (T) Sherlock, a long-time sufferer of insomnia, is forced to share a bed with John at a hotel while on a case. To his astonishment, he finds that spending the night next to John helps him sleep and becomes determined to maneuver himself back into John’s bed.

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E) John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock’s case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape.They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them.Because he’s pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF. (This is one of my FAVOURITES so so much).

Assurance by belovedmuerto (T) It’s not so much the ‘you’re half-dead, you wanker,’ or even the broken ribs, the hairline fracture of the pelvis, the dislocated shoulder and knee, and the wrenched ankle.

So, this is normal for us now? by TooManyChoices (M) John and Sherlock have been sharing a flat, and a life for some time. This is a story of how the glacially slow movement of their relationship makes another agonising crawl forward another inch.

A Love with No Name by aceofhearts61 (T) In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

To Sleep, Perchance to…Cuddle by nerdyandiknowit (NR) Almost immediately after they got together Sherlock formed this dependency on John-he could not (or would not as John believes) sleep without John being there, in bed, next to him. Sherlock has perfected the art of molding himself entirely to John’s body. Every now and again John will attempt a Houdini like escape, but he has mostly resigned himself to the fact that Sherlock would use him for a life sized teddy bear. Well resigned isn’t really the word, and even though John will never admit it, he always looks forward to this time he gets to spend with Sherlock.

Moonshine by CKLizzy (T) Sometimes, routines changed.—Sequel to “Nightfall”, second part in what is now a series that will explore how it goes on from this story and John and Sherlock’s new arrangement. Part 2 of Solace

The Second Law of Thermodynamics by entanglednow (T) In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Part 1 of Thermodynamics (this whole series is really great, I love it!)

I know I’m missing a tonne more but those were the ones I could remember in my bookmarks on both Ao3 and FFNet. Feel free to add your faves and shameless self promos! Again, if there’s any “Speckled Blonde” ones, please link us! (’Speckled Band’ welcome as well!)

[missdaviswrites]

Always willing to shamelessly self-promote, thanks for asking!

Just a Touch  6248 words Explicit 

John has trouble falling asleep these days.  There’s one thing he can do that always seems to help, but he’s stuck in this hotel room with Sherlock and doesn’t think he’ll get the chance.  How will he ever find relief and a good night’s sleep?

[notagarroter]

oh hey, I’ve written one too.  ;)

One Irresistible Force.  One Immovable Object.  One Bed.  4120 words, Teen.

Sherlock and John are on a case, and there’s only one bed left at the inn! 

This story is basically just a string of dreadfully stale tropes.  Trope city.  Tropey trope trope.  Saint-Tropez.  Are you looking for something fresh, new, and original?  Keep looking.

But I do rather like the idea of a Sherlock who is literally irresistible to the whole of humanity, totally knows it, but couldn’t care less.  :)

[mazyshar]

I love sleepy stories.

[ifevertherewas]

Reblogging so I can keep track. Thank you for the wonderful list!

[ifevertherewas]

Can I just say, if Trixie Mattel is indeed in All Stars 3, I hope everyone sees her dark disgustingly amazing sense of humour. I also hope that All Stars 3 is better than All Stars 2. Only because I pray that this show only gets better!

[ifevertherewas]

Feeling kinda worthless and like I'm not cut out to do the thing I really really like and I'm excited about. If not this, then what the hell am I cut out for?

[ifevertherewas]

After 2 years of being away, I still feel profoundly homesick and alone. I think it's because I haven't adapted to my new surroundings, but maybe it's because I still am holding onto my home and my past self and not letting a new surrounding welcome me?

[ifevertherewas]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuO6rdsnN8c)

Honestly, this pulled me back to this show every time. So beautiful!

[ifevertherewas]

Mofftiss, TFP, TRF, TJLC and sherlock fandom mashup.

Mofftiss: "Well, here we are at last. It's you and me Sherlock Fandom, and our problem, the final problem: keep plotting. It's so boring! Plotting. Overarching story lines. Making sense out of things. All my life I've just been filling one plothole with the other and you were amazing with your theories, fixing everything we did, picking up on our little 'clues'. In the end it was easy. Now I got to go back to writing ordinary shows, with ordinary fandoms, and it turns out you're ordinary. Just like all of them. Oh well.

Sherlock Fandom: "But... TJLC..."

Mofftiss: "Did you almost start to wonder if it was real? Did I nearly get you?"

Sherlock Fandom: "The tea, code?"

Mofftiss: "Nobody seems to get the joke, but you do."

Sherlock Fandom: "Off course. Tea is gay, coffee is hetro."

Mofftiss: "Just trying to have some fun." [Sherlock Fandom throws glass of water in Mofftiss' face] "Oh good! You got that too!"

Sherlock Fandom: "Of course we did, water represents emotion, just as food represents intimacy and the phone represents the heart. And let's not forget the 'random numbers' in the show, or the constant mirroring."

Mofftiss: "Very good."

Sherlock Fandom: "Yes, but now that it's up here I can use this key to decipher what is to come! I can predict series to come!"

Mofftiss: "No, no, no, no, no. This is too easy. It's too easy. There is no key, DOOFUS! Those metaphors are meaningless, there is no endgame. Did you really think there would be a point to all of this?"

Sherlock Fandom: "Than how did you...?"

Mofftiss: "How did I write such a compelling story? Daylight robbery! All it takes is some willing participants."

Arwel: [waves]

Sue: [waves]

Amanda: [waves enthusiastically]

Ben: [waves hesitantly, like he's unsure what to do]

Martin: [Stands there with folded arms and a grumpy look on his face]

Mofftiss: "I knew you would fall for it. That's your weakness. You always want everything to be clever. Now, shall we finish the game? One final act. Glad you choose Tumblr, nice way to do it."

Sherlock Fandom: "Do it? Do what?" [thinks] "Yes, of course, theorize. Finish your story for you."

[Runs off to come up with compelling theories about extra episodes, extended dream sequences, morphine induced dreams etc.]

[ifevertherewas]

San Junipero

I have found my Johnlock

Yorkie is such a Sherlock!! I feel like I can relate to her so much! And Kelly is the perfect John. I so need my own John/Kelly! I’m crying!! Do kelly and yorkie have a ship name?

[ifevertherewas]

There is a clear distinction between “complexity” and “complication”. 

Complexity:

Something that is complex is made up of multiple parts. Typically, each of these parts, when operating individually add up to much less, compared to what they add up to combined. For example: A great actor, a smart plot and a groundbreaking representation (in more ways than one, to many people) can all be done in isolation. However, for many of us, Sherlock was a combination of all three. In this combination, the value of the show rose much higher than it would have if it was just another smart plot with a small time twist to it. This is the complexity we loved! Each episode was laden with great character development played by some of the best actors in the world, while pushing the plot ahead. The Final Problem lacked that complexity because it lacked in two of the three things mentioned here. The episode was simplistic. In isolation, it was alright and everyone would have treated the episode the way one treats a one-off slip. This was meant to be an ending of sorts, with no certainty that a new season will be made. That combined with the cliffhanger of The Lying Detective increased the potential value of the next episode. The easiest thing to do in this case would have been to deliver. So, my question is - why didn’t they?

Complication:

Complication is very different from complexity. When there are multiple logical steps taken to arrive at an answer, or when there are extraneous elements that must be circumvented to approach a solution, the thing becomes complicated. The part may remain the same and the answer may be very simple. However, the value of the answer does not change based on how you approach to answer the question. Typically, a convoluted plot just complicates a story rather than adding to the complexity of it. The Final Problem was complicated, rather than complex. All that talk about feeding people warm paste - what we were fed was.... well.... a different flavoured warm paste, I guess. The nutritional value of both being the same, no added value there.

So, my point is this - Now, I am a Johnlock shipper and follow TJLC pretty closely. However, I have seen many different ship readings and I believe everyone expected a different romantic outcome to it. This backlash towards this last episode was not just because one or more groups of people were not given a “kiss” or some sort of confirmation, but because the show became too one-dimensional and complicated its plot due to extraneous factors. Were they in Moftiss’s control or not? I’m not sure. However, it was not the Sherlock we knew and loved. For that, I guess a new series would be helpful, or not. Maybe not. I’m not sure.

However, I implore you all to give Moftiss a chance to make amends. This is just a matter of poor leadership, nothing which can’t be fixed with some re-organization.

[ifevertherewas]

Sherlock International Dream Cast

There is something that has been on my mind for some time now. If we are to ever re-cast Sherlock with Johnlock as endgame, how would we do it? Here are some of my suggestions. Please remember, this is just my opinion. Some of these actors are not British, and some may be of a different gender:

Thandie Newton as Sherlock Holmes.

Oh my god, does she bring it in this show! Honestly, if there is another actor who can pull off that level of cleverness with that level of humanity, I think it is Thandie Newton. No more spoilers here, but I’m sure many of you see what I’m talking about.

Amitabh Bachchan as Mycroft Holmes.

Ok, I agree this is a very very unusual choice, but every time I have seen any movie with Amitabh Bachchan, I can physically see the gravitas on screen. I believe that as great as he is as an actor, I believe that he will bring a very interesting quality to Mycroft that we haven’t seen in previous versions.

Emma Watson as John Watson.

Elementary, my dear... “Watson”? No, not because her last name is Watson, but because she has played a strong, healer/warrior character in Hermione Granger for a long time. Although, Hermione is miles cleverer than John/Joan, it will be a welcome contrast to the usually more still and military-like portrayal of John Watson we have seen so far. I believe that Emma Watson, will be able to bring about an energy and sharpness to Watson which would be very interesting to see.

Madhuri Dixit as Irene Adler.

So, she does not have the body of Lara Pulver. However, she was absolutely beautiful in Dedh Ishqiya, where she plays *SPOILERS* a Lady, Begum Para, who agrees to marry any man who wins her hand in a competition, but who is secretly looking to run away with a large loot and her partner Muniya. Her grace, voice and acting are just... I blush to even think about them :)

Abhay Deol as Greg Lestrade.

Abhay Deol is an incredibly versatile actor, and Greg Lestrade is a lot more of a complex character than what most people give him credit for. Lestrade has to show accountability and care, while at the same time balancing results with his team’s happiness. An actor like Abhay Deol may be able to really bring out Lestrade’s inner conflict.

Rupert Grint as Molly Hooper.

Sorry, this might more of a Freudian response than anything else. This took the longest amount of time for me to come up with the right Molly Hooper. When I thought of a John mirror, Ron Weasley was my first thought. Yes, I know it is Rupert Grint and Emma Watson again, but hey, it is what it is, isn’t it? :P

Andrew Scott as Moriarty.

I’m sorry, is there a possibility that there can be another? I tried, I really tried. I just can’t find anyone else. Just look at him! Sorry, but, this is the only one I’m keeping as is.

Hugh Laurie as Mr. Hudson.

Ok, I cannot see it another way. Can you imagine how amazingly hilarious this would be?

I would pay good money to see this. Any takers? 

This clearly shows my lack of knowledge in anything other than Indian, British and American Media. I apologize for that. 

Please feel free to add any alternative suggestions. Let’s come up with the best international Sherlock cast for television history!! What say?

[ifevertherewas]

Unmitigated. Disaster.

Ha ha :D Oh god!!! I can’t help but laugh at this angrily. I know we make jokes about the basement, but this is almost like something that slipped out of it. This is Moffat’s response to Molly being “ok” at the end:

Interviewer: We see her skipping into the room but– Moffat: She gets over it! Surely at a certain point you have to figure out that after Sherlock escapes tells her, “I’m really sorry about that, it was a code, I thought your flat was about to blow up.” And she says, “Oh well that’s okay then, you bastard.” And then they go back to normal, that’s what people do. I can’t see why you’d have to play that out. She forgives him, of course, and our newly grown-up Sherlock is more careful with her feelings in the future. In the end of that scene, she’s a bit wounded by it all, but he’s absolutely devastated. He smashes up the coffin, he’s in pieces, he’s more upset than she is, and that’s a huge step in Sherlock’s development. The question is: Did Sherlock survive that scene? She probably had a drink and went and shagged someone, I dunno. Molly was fine.

Really???? Really???? Sherlock was devastated but Molly just got over it????

I can’t. I just can’t believe this anymore. Even if there is an episode 4, this is just obnoxious. I’m off to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events. Good luck everyone.

[ifevertherewas]

You know who won in the end? Tumblr, AO3 and other social media that were affected. Over the years, the show and various elements shaped the various sites' identity in many ways. You know who else won? The fandom. In the end, the show left a legacy of people who found each other with a strong driving force and found within themselves talent and capabilities to do great things. That's why Sherlock is and always will be great. Please don't hate on an entire series because of one episode. Please don't disregard their effort in creating this thing we have loved so very much. Instead, take these emotions and use that talent you found and make something beautiful. That which reminds you of all the great things this show meant to you. Not of the sadness and disappointment. I love this fandom and honestly, even with this shitty episode, I wouldn't change a thing!

[ifevertherewas]

I totally understand the laughter now. And why it was considered fake. Who even let this happen?

[ifevertherewas]

So much fuckery! Such fuel to fantasy! If this is what we think it is, it is the most well planned experience in TV history. Well played, Sue Vertue and crew!