[ifinallyamwhatiam]

How can I even begin to change things when things just won’t be changed

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

I don’t feel anything

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

Water

When you meet Water, you know it; you get wrapped up in her so quickly that you never really had a chance. She's sweet and kind and caressing, and for me, she had a different name. Most people think Water would be fluid - but really, she's the most steady thing in your life. She wakes you up in the morning with a bowl of granola with honey (because she knows you like it), and she stops you from drowning in things much worse than herself. She's bright blue, or unfathomably grey, or crystal clear depending on her mood, or how you look at her; if you let her, Water will sustain you with walks in the sun and movie recommendations and holding your hand in the middle of the night while you cry. And what nobody tells you is that Water allows you to be fluid within her, she lets you twist, writhe, change, and surrounds you through all of it, relieving some of the weighted burden. Some people think Water can be scary, the way you can get caught up in her current, but I know better; if you let it, the current catches you and pulls you under, and Water takes you somewhere infinitely better than land.

[bingbongifuckedurmom]

Are you cishet or are you an enjoyer of British dirtbag boyband bears in trees

[bearsintreesofficial]

yeah, im an EMPATH

Eplease

Mdont

P

A

Touch

Hme

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3SDHiTDZYB2AXtH460KMZI?si=lnjbJlRfSAOlmvJwvtO3lQ

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

i don’t have any friends

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

I don’t wanna be around

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

Still the sad little girl who can’t sleep at night, who breaks down when she hears some songs, who doesn’t know how to ask for what she wants, who is too sad to acknowledge because if she does, she’ll have to actually feel it.

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

You’ve moved on and I’m dying

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

It is so very nice to know that you were able to take a Friday night off from both work and training to go on a date with you new girl, but you could never, not even ONCE do that for me. So at least now I know that I just wasn’t important enough. Third best.

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

I’ll never have it back

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

I do things like that to torture myself

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

There were about four months of my life where I was the absolute happiest I’ve ever been. I was in love with college, with Rebecca, with my friends, with rugby. I was really, truly happy a lot of the time, and even when I wasn’t, she would come and sit with me on the days I couldn’t get out of bed. Those few months, November, December, January, February and then everything got ruined. It was all stolen from me. All that happiness. I guess I got my quota filled. I’m worried I’ll never get a time like that again.

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

You didn’t have time for me. So I don’t know how you think you’re going to have time for anyone else.

But if you do, then I’ll know. I’ll know that you just didn’t love me enough.

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

I’m so looonely

[ifinallyamwhatiam]

I miss her desperately