Miss my old account

│ I'm 21 │ PRO RECOVERY │ diagnosed (and relapsed) │ Cw :140lbs/63kg Gw:121lbs/55kg Lw:136lbs/62kg

[ihatebeinglonley]

I was out thrift shopping with my friend today. And I felt so skinny for some reason. It felt euphoric. There where like three skirts I wanted to buy but they where too big for me. Idk what's happening but if felt so good.

[ihatebeinglonley]

Been stuck at 69kg for two weeks now???? I’m so frustrated. I’ve been eating well under 800 kcals and walking at least 10 000 steps a day. It just doesn’t make sense.

[ihatebeinglonley]

My mom just told me that she's really proud of me because of all the walks I've started taking and how active I've become since January. She said that I'm "glowing" and a few weeks ago she complimented my weight loss.

It feels kind of good that she's not realizing that the 3d I had when I was 17 is back.

I might not have to be as sneaky with my weight loss as I thought I had to be.

[ihatebeinglonley]

28/5:

Breakfast - yogurt with homemade granola, a boiled egg and black coffee☕️ 228

Lunch - Veggie patty, potato wedges and some tomato 243

Dinner - A sallad with glass noodles, avocado, cucumber, red onion, sesame seeds and romaine lettuce 277

Snack - Diet pepsi (ofc)

Burned - Always walk to and from work, also took a 30 min walk 356

Net intake - 375

[ihatebeinglonley]

27/5:

Breakfast - yogurt with homemade granola, egg and coffee 228

Lunch - Tomato soup 145

Dinner -

Snack - Brownie (my friend forced me to bake with her :/ ) 300

Burned - 300, will probably take a walk later

Net intake - 373

[ihatebeinglonley]

I want my boyfriend to notice it and be concerned

[ihatebeinglonley]

I haven't weighed myself since December, but decided to do it today and it was the best surprise. I have lost over 10 kg. I do not look skinny yet, but still.... I've just been struggling for so long, its nice to at least see the numbers change on the scale

[ihatebeinglonley]

I weigh more than my boyfriend

I want to fucking die

[ihatebeinglonley]

sometimes I wonder if I actually have an ed

[ihatebeinglonley]

Plz someone be my friend

plz just message me, I promise I’ll love u <3

[ihatebeinglonley]

my stomach hasn’t felt this empty in A LONG while :)

[sonoftheearth]

Getting so thin that my boyfriend can throw me over his shoulder like nothing.

[ihatebeinglonley]

I’m on my 6th day of only consuming liquids (like smoothies and juices and stuff like that). I was planning on doing this for a whole week but today I really felt like just giving up and give in to my cravings since it’s only one day left. But I decided to weigh myself first. I’ve lost 4 pounds in 6 days!!! It may not seem like a lot but I am soooooo happy right now.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you don’t have to do anything before you allow yourself to eat. don’t have to exercise, purge, fast, etc. take care of yourself and don’t feel any shame in that.

[blackcatsandbigbooks]

Alrighty guys, I'm doing it. I'm not just deleting this app, I'm deleting this account. I'm scared about losing my virtual support system, but I can't let depression, anxiety, and food control me like this forever. I'm 23 and I have a long life to live. I'm tired of trying to survive. I'm ready to take the leap and start living. It's scary because this eating disorder has become so familiar. I know what highs and lows to expect and it's always been there for me like a teddy bear made of razor blades. They say to leap and the net will appear. I'm leaping for recovery. I hope you all find a life outside your disorder too!

It's not a matter of going back to who I was, because I've struggled for as long as I can remember. It's a matter of becoming who I was designed to be. I don't know what that will look like, but I'm excited to meet this "me" that has been patiently waiting to emerge from the shadows of disorders. I'm not going to be the labels that have been placed on me. For the first time ever, I'm giving myself permission to exist in the world as myself. Will you join me?

[ihatebeinglonley]

My nurse gave me like 26382816 things as homework. And wants me to eat 5 meals a day, that’s not even normal. and then I’m supposed to write a food diary of everything I eat, that’s only going to make it worse because then I have to reflect on all I’ve eaten too.

[backtothinner]

130kcal for an ENTIRE chocolate cake

If you’ve already seen this recipe on MPA, it’s because I posted it there a while back. Anyway, here it is:

Ingredients

20g all-purpose flour (72.8)

10g cocoa powder (22.8)

2 egg whites (34)

40g allulose (14)*

Total Calories: 143.6kcal

*You can, of course, use zero-calorie sweetener if you’d like. The resulting cake will be 129.6kcal.

Instructions

Beat the egg whites to soft peaks and add in the allulose in 2-3 stages, mixing well between each addition. Continue to beat to form stiff peaks.

Fold in the flour and cocoa powder, being careful not to knock out too much air from the meringue.

Put the batter into a cake tin, flatten out the surface (or don’t and get an ugly cake), and bake in a preheated, 170˚C oven for 20 minutes.

Turn off the oven but leave the cake in there for 10 more minutes.

[ihatebeinglonley]

Def gonna try this ✨