emptying my head here...

hello, i made this tumblr as a place to be honest... i struggle with a binge eating disorder and i just need somewhere to put it.

[sardinesaremean-deactivated2014]

[foxmouth]

Landscapes, 2014 | by Anthony Samaniego

[ihatefoood-blog]

day three binge free but planning one tomorrow in my head. i love it i hate that i love it

[ihatefoood-blog]

breakfast as usual

[ihatefoood-blog]

yesterday was date night. me n my bf saw chappie... so sad

[ihatefoood-blog]

another binge free day yesterday!! 2 ina row ain't no one stopping me now

[ihatefoood-blog]

nervous because this new medication im going on creates intense sugar cravings??? like as if that isn't my entire life already...

[ihatefoood-blog]

having anxiety now because i know i left food at work but by the time i go it will be bad so ill have to throw it out. i have the stupidest brain. knowing food is in places and wasting away puts my head through the wood chipper. idek why this fucking matters to me…

[lindsaylohoean-deactivated20160]

how many calories do u burn by sliding down a wall crying

[ihatefoood-blog]

weighed 103 today on my bfs scale which is always a bit lower but still so much improvement. gotta plan what to eat today. here's to another binge free day and starting my new meds!

[ihatefoood-blog]

morning smoke in my bfs attic ayyy

[slumsdrunk-blog]

Eating disorders, on any level, are a crutch. They are also an addiction and an illness, but there is no question at all that they are quite simply a way of avoiding the banal, daily, itchy pain of life. Eating disorders provide a little private drama, they feed into the desire for constant excitement, everything becomes life-or-death, everything is terribly grand and crashing, very Sturm und Drang. And they are distracting. You don’t have to think about any of the nasty minutiae of the real world, you don’t get caught up in that awful boring thing called regular life, with its bills and its breakups and its dishes and laundry and groceries and arguments over whose turn it is to change the litter box and bedtimes and bad sex and all that, because you are having a real drama, not a sitcom but a GRAND EPIC, all by yourself, and why would you bother with those foolish mortals when you could spend hours and hours with a mirror, when you are having the most interesting sadomasochistic affair with your own image?

Marya Hornbacher, Wasted (via adderalldust)

[ihatefoood-blog]

i really wish i didn't care this much

[ihatefoood-blog]

when ur bf obsessed with runescape n ur just like k lemme drink this water and smoke this smoke then

[ihatefoood-blog]

also almost hit 1200 cals today so 👌

[ihatefoood-blog]

binge free day numero uno... i hate starting over: ( got new meds from le Dr.... so nervous to get my mood all stabilized. just had a delicious Thai salad out for din with family:)

[ihatefoood-blog]

waiting room feels.