[kaijuno]

[starghoul]

i wish i was a raccoon sleepin on a log

[rustingbridges]

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

[yrbeecharmer]

officially diagnosed with bed too cozy disease

[a-rory-borealis]

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i’m undiagnosing myself, im happy

[cuntaloupes-deactivated20241215]

U ever catch urself clenching the living SHIT out of your jaw for no reason ....calm down queen nothing's happening.......yet

[angelnumber27]

My mind immediately after I say anything to anyone:

“They don’t care. That was fucking stupid.”

[andrewbelami]

That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?

[pendejx-deactivated20200323]

25796323689432 feet you say?

[dadpat-tactual-deactivated20230]

This post turns 11 next month and it continues to be one of the funniest on this damn site

[flowerpowell]

do not underestimate therapeutic powers of pride and prejudice 2005 dir. joe wright

[cocomonerd]

No because pride and prejudice isn't "I changed myself for you so you would love me back." It's "your blatant rejection and disdain for me made me realize things about myself no one had ever been bold enough to tell me so I sat down and evaluated all my behavior patterns and why they came about and came to the realization myself that I had to work on myself. Also I don't expect you to love me now that I'm a work in progress, so I'm just going to do nice things for you because I don't like seeing you hurt." No wonder P&P fans refuse to settle.

[achillieus]

so there’s no hot evil villain in love with me?

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags how often you “clean” your tumblr account, deleting old posts.

[wenellyb]

[branwyn-says]

[reggiemess]

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

[monkeydlesbian]

i’m a simple girl i see a man with big arms and a kind heart and i get a little stupid

[c0iledpigtail]

i confess i let illusions fester in my brain

[everythingstarstuff]

[9d6problems]

The Lady of the Lake is pretty chill. Her cousin, the Witch of the Waterfall, is a little less sociable.

[tenaciouszombiearcher]

You get a sword but you won’t like where

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsquirrel]

This makes me laugh every single time

[yars]

[supersexyawesomeness]