It's been almost three weeks since I've last seen him, and within those weeks I have convinced myself that I do not like him but OH MY FUCKING gOD my soul yearns for him like a straved, famished, and thirsty little dog. I have tried talking to other people to distract myself from the thought of his presence but he's like a dick popping out of nowhere in my mind. I want him sooo bad but at the same time I feel like I'm lying to myself, maybe I just want to be loved by him or maybe he's just the only cool person in that damned shithole of a place(school) WHO CARES IF HE HAS LIKE WHAT?? SIX FUCKING EXES?! AND BESTFRIENDS WITH ONE OF THEM? AND WHO CARES IF THERE'S LIKE BAZILLION(about 3) PEOPLE CONFESSED TO HIM ON HIS CONFESSION LINK? obviously not me 😍(A part of my soul was crushed and pulverized into ego-lowering dust) I actually don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Uhm anyway, I HATE HIM SO MUCH TO THE GUT. I HATE how i have this need to always check up on his posts or stories. I HATE how I only want him for myself. I HATE how I would draw on the back of my test paper just so he could notice it and check my paper. I HATE how I become cringy when it comes to him OMFG. I HATE HOW I BECOME SO DELUSIONAL HE MAKES ME I HATE HIM SO SO MUCH I WISHED I WAS HIS FIRST LOVE. I hate the fact that my body distance myself from him but my mind is always looking out for him. I feel like I've been bewitched, I don't think like this to a certain person before. What if I'm not delusional and he actually pulls up some witchcraft, that would be actually so cute. HELL NAW SEE THAT WAS MY DEMONS THAT WAS NOT ME 😭 It's unbelievable how alienated i feel towards my own body after liking him UHM?!.. I wish he takes responsibility of his existence and actually confess to and take me out on a date or idk..
