Wait, okay, this is SILLY, but consider:
It’s Ilya’s first season in Ottawa. He and Yuna are engaging in their favorite shared pastime: looking at Shane’s baby photos. Ilya starts to notice this grumpy little white boy in the background of all these adorable pictures of Shane. He’s like, “Yuna 🤨 Who is this boy glaring at our Shane?”
And Yuna’s like, “Oh, that’s Ricky, Shane’s cousin.” Ilya’s shocked. Shocked! He has a PhD in Shane Hollander and he hasn’t heard of any COUSIN. He says as much and Yuna sighs and is like, “Yeah, they’re not close. He picked on Shane a lot, you know, the shy, awkward, Japanese boy. It got even worse when they got a bit older because Ricky plays hockey too so of course he’s jealous of Shane.”
And Ilya’s like, “😡 I will kill this man! Where does he live?”
Yuna laughs and tells him that he still lives in Ottawa, actually. That he’s sort of a mess, always moving from one startup job to another. He cheated on his first wife and he somehow managed to lock down a second wife who’s gorgeous and way too good for him. Yuna shows Ilya photos from their recent wedding and they gossip about it (because gossip is another favorite shared pastime of theirs).
A few months later, Ilya’s out for lunch with some guys on the team and he sees a man at a nearby table who looks…familiar. He’s internally like, “Where do I know him from? 🤔 Did I have a threesome with them? No, I would never sleep with someone that ugly.” That’s when it hits him…it’s Shane’s loser cousin! And he’s out with a woman who is NOT his second beautiful wife.
Ilya starts watching them like a hawk. He ignores the Centaurs and is just staring at the two of them. The vibe between them is romantic, he can tell, but he’s waiting for definitive proof. Then, finally, they lean in for a kiss and Ilya snaps some pictures. It’s at this point that Bood’s like, “Uhhh wtf are you doing?”
But Ilya ignores Bood, puts his phone down, and keeps glaring at Ricky. The nerve of this man! How does he share any DNA with Shane? It’s unfathomable.
Ricky does eventually notice Ilya looking over, but he doesn’t think anything of it, of course. He has no idea that Ilya’s family. He actually uses it to impress his date. He says very loudly, “Oh look, that’s Ilya Rozanov. He’s rivals with my cousin Shane Hollander. Yeah, that Shane Hollander. Uh huh, we’re very close.”
Ilya’s fuming at this point. How dare he name drop Shane to impress this woman he’s cheating on his wife with? He tips their waitress $100 to slip her a note saying “he’s married” in case she doesn’t know. Then he leaves the restaurant (yes, the Cens are still sitting there, baffled) and drives straight to Yuna and David’s.
He storms inside (it’s the first time he lets himself in, but not the last) and right up to Yuna who takes one look at his face and says, “Wine. We need wine.”
No one knows how Yuna got the photos that were the catalyst for Ricky’s second divorce. Some family members swear she must have spies all over Ottawa. It’ll be a few more years before they meet her very loyal son in law—who shakes Ricky’s hand roughly and gleefully takes credit for the photos.
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