High Hopes, Low Expectations: An Autobiography

I'm literally an adult human female living in Central Florida.

[teenscoolest]

[ghouliebee-deactivated20210426]

please put “yeeted the fuck off this mortal coil” on my tombstone

[luciferlaughs]

There’s nothing more egregious in society’s eyes than when a politician is accused of corruption, but one in particular will forever go down in history as the man whose televised graphic suicide haunts people to this day.

Budd Dwyer was a member of Pennsylvania State Senate, and was also well-known as the 30th Treasurer of Pennsylvania. Budd’s prominent career came crashing down all around him when, in the early 80s, the state found out a critical error: employees had overpaid federal taxes. In order to repair the damage, accounting firms left and right began competing for the multimillion dollar contract to determine compensation for each employee. That was when Budd allegedly accepted a bribe from a law firm in California that ultimately won the contract. Throughout the whole trial, he had maintained his innocence and even insisted he was being framed. But Budd didn’t stand a chance. In the eyes of the judge, he was guilty as charged. He was sentenced to a maximum of 55 years in prison and had to pay $300,000 in fines. 

On January 22, 1987, the day before Budd was to be sentenced, he called for a press conference. The media went crazy, as they assumed he was going to resign from office. But what really unfolded was much more appalling. He began reading before all the reporters, imploring people to extend prayers to his family, and declaring his innocence once more. He then withdrew a revolver from a manila envelope. People began shrieking in fear, begging him not to do the unthinkable. Some tried to step in and stop him, but Budd warned, ‘’Don’t, don’t, don’t, this will hurt someone.” Within seconds, the revolver was in his mouth and he pulled the trigger in front of all those who were watching him on live television. He immediately fell to the floor, blood rapidly gushing out of his nose and head wound. He was dead instantly.

To this day, Budd’s innocence is still widely disputed.

[sixpenceee]

Bonsai trees via Beautiful World

[sixpenceee]

Archaeologists found the remains of a premature baby who was buried in a jar in an medieval cemetery with a coin to “pay” for passage into heaven. The copper from the coin mummified its arm. Copper jewelry and other adornments can cause skeletal discolouration as the oxidised metal leaches into the bones. (Source & Source)

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Maybe only cats can become ghost. That’s why ghosts just knock over stuff and make noises at night.

[scp-4999]

[sixpenceee]

This girl was practicing her golf swing in the house, but when the door flew open, she immediately stopped. Her brother went to check to see who opened the door, but when a chair in front of them moved on its own, they immediately ran out the house completely terrified. (Source)

[scary-stories]

Red as far as the eye can see.

Wow, we’ve been here for 40 years. We’ve come pretty far. Terraforming is complete. Sustainable farming is complete. We have recreational sports, games, classes on interesting subjects, the arts, but of course… no women. The majority of citizens now believe in the Beta Theory, although some still believe in the Original Mission. It’s illegal to even say E.M.’s full name. But we’ve made the best of it.

Keep reading

[luciferlaughs]

Perhaps one of the most mind-boggling unsolved cases to the FBI is Ricky McCormick’s encrypted notes. On June 30th, 1999, the 41-year-old’s body was discovered in a Missouri corn field after having been missing for a whole three days. Police found the location of his body to be strange, as it was 15 miles from where Ricky lived and he did not own a car, nor were there any public transportation served in that area. Since his body was already in its early stages of decomposition, police ascertained he had been dead for at least a few days, but there were no indications that he was murdered. In fact, his cause of death appeared to be a mystery, so police initially ruled out homicide. That was until twelve years later, when the FBI announced that Ricky McCormick was indeed murdered. But then they revealed a shocking clue that they had never disclosed to the public before: inside Ricky’s pockets contained two cryptic notes in his handwriting, which investigators believe were written three days prior to his death. The notes consisted of ‘’a jumble of letters and numbers occasionally set off with parentheses’’. This also struck police as odd, considering that all who knew Ricky claimed Ricky was an illiterate and only knew how to write his name. The FBI was convinced that the cipher messages would point toward whoever was responsible for the murder, but all attempts made to decipher their meaning led to failure. To this day, the two coded notes are listed as one of the FBI’s Cryptanalysis and Racketeering Records Unit’s top unsolved cases.

[tattoome]

[jack-roscoe]

Jeff Goldblum is somehow even more Jeff Goldblum than you think he is.

[maplesyrupao3]

That…is the sexiest thing I’ve been made aware of on this day.

[tattoome]

[scary-stories]

The Corridor

I knew I was dreaming the moment I noticed I had 8 fingers on my left hand. I was overjoyed to finally be able to experience a lucid dream, something I had been wanting to do for so long. I ran up to the nearest person, and shouted “IM DREAMING!” simply to vent my excitement to this fictitious world.

The man looked at me with utter confusion. But I noticed his face begin to… change. His one human looking face was twisting and distorting into something I can only describe as horrific, as plumes of black smoke began to seep from his eyes, mouth, and nose.

Keep reading

[isolate]

if you didn’t believe that England hates Donald Trump already: the most recent news of his visit today is that the mayor of London approved protestors releasing a £16,000 Trump in-a-diaper balloon to fly 98ft above ground when he visits, and literally no British person is surprised. Welcome to London.

[isolate]

I’m literally not kidding

[isolate]

the people who are managing the balloon are called trump babysitters. I’ve never loved my country more.

[eligantly]

i fucking love this country. Trust us to make the president feel welcome

[isolate]

the best part about this is that trump expected to have a royally welcome visit but as soon as he made an appearance, thousands of angry British people started chanting “fuck trump!” on repreat for hours.

[eligantly]

UPDATE: Trump has managed to generate a bigger crowd than Obama did, but for all the wrong reasons. The entirety of London is filled with angry anti-trump protestors, to the point where he is refusing to make an appearance due to fear for his safety.

[isolate]

Here are some fucking awesome protest signs being shown today. I hope we’ve made you proud!

[lynati]

How much would it cost to bring the Giant Baby to The States? Or to make a few of our own? 

[thebibliosphere]

Okay I know I just reblogged this earlier. but I just realized that thw “all in all you’re just another prick with no wall” sign is being held by Tony Robinson, known to many as Baldric from Black Adder, and a huge portion of my childhood from Saturday morning cartoons.

Amazing.

[imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018]

30 day free trial of being ok

[milkchocolateowl]

op wheres the link

[milkchocolateowl]

wheres the link op

[scary-stories]

A Cure for Depression

Suzanne watched as the agent sorted through the photographs of her late husband.

“Your husband looks very happy in these pictures,” said Agent Carlisle. “I take it his chip was working well before it malfunctioned?”

Suzanne nodded. “Yeah, it seemed like the implant had really done the trick up til that point,” she said. “Before the procedure, he’d get these really bad bouts of depression that would last for days, sometimes weeks at a time. We thought the chip had cured him until—well, you know…”

Keep reading

[theoddcatlady]

Blood Donation

Three months ago I was in a car accident.

It wasn’t great, I’ll tell you that. Legs got crushed, cracked some ribs, and it was touch and go for a while. But thanks to the advantages of modern medicine and several blood transfusions, I got wheeled out with the promise that if I got lucky I’d be able to get around with a cane.

It was a miracle when I started walking.

But miracles apparently don’t come for free.

Keep reading