a 6th grader tried to ragebait me the other day and i didn't even realize because i was in awe of this perfect 31 on my potato and she kept getting pissed at me and calling me a 'number lover' and i was like 'i sure am :)!'
i was playing some older games on my backlog, including armored core: master of arena
as anyone who's played that game knows, nineball will rock your shit the second you get to him, and i wanted to do something else for a bit. i decided to play another game in my backlog! that game?
another century's episode: r!
*sigh*
the fact that literally all SCP games out there are just generic survival horror projects and that there's like basically nothing that actually utilizes the absolutely fuckhuge and extremely richly detailed (completely free to use in whatever way you want) world to tell an actually compelling story or even just do like literally any setting that isn't inside one of the facilities is genuinely such a tragedy. Give me a plot set amongst the rural Sarkics of like early 20th century Russia. Do a mystery/detective-style game set inside the academies of three Portlands. VA-11-HALL-A but you're a librarian inside the wanderer's library. UIU strategy game where you constantly encounter fucked up shit and have to use your very limited knowledge about the world you're in and even more limited funds to try and decide what incidents are worth investigating and how you deal with them like I am literally on my hands and knees begging. There's so so so much potential in this world that's just going completely unexplored when it comes to games pleeeease just do something other than escape from site 19 #1547786544 I'm actually starving here.
Astronauts are so funny man. Here's just a couple of things I've found hilarious from this past week of space stuff:
It's probably already been spread around here enough already, but in case anyone's missed it; 7 hours after launch, commander Reid Wiseman, dealing with tech issues, uttered the generational quote "I have two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one of those are working."
After fixing the issues that were afflicting the onboard toilet, mission specialist Christina Koch (who has quickly become my favourite of the four) laughingly said “I’m the space plumber, I’m proud to call myself the space plumber.”
On Easter Sunday, the Artemis II crew hosted a makeshift egg hunt, by hiding packets of dehydrated scrambled eggs around their Orion capsule.
The way the crew always makes sure to make it very clear they're in space when doing interviews. From stuff like Wiseman just hanging out floating sideways on screen or Koch letting her hair loose so it can freely span out flowing around her.
While in transit, the crew decided to record a parody of those bad 80s sitcom intros where everyone turns and smiles at the camera.
When the crew reached the furthest point from Earth in the mission, they jokingly clambored over each other in an effort to get to the far side of the capsule, so that they could individually claim to be the furthest person from earth.
At the same time, on the ISS which was at the time on the other side of earth, the 7 astronauts onboard had a light-hearted race to the far side of the station, making jokes about being the furthest humans from Artemis.
On the way back to earth, NASA actually managed to establish an audio call between the crews of the ISS and Artemis II (where they shared the above info), and Koch called one member of the ISS crew, Jessica Meir, her "astro-sister" as the two of them previously spacewalker together in 2019. Meir then responded I'm so happy that we are back in space together, even if we are a few miles apart" (a few here being 230,000).
While Jeremy Hansen was doing an interview, Wiseman and Koch were just in the background swatting the mission mascot (a little moon plush toy named Rise) back and forth between each other.
Not only are you not scratching the surface, you don't even know where you're digging
So to preface, a couple years ago I joined a Minecraft server with a big group of friends, where every now and again, they would come over to my House. And I thought it'd be really funny if I changed the House ever so slightly but always insisted that it was exactly the same, so occasionally when they'd come over they'd say, "Is this room different...?" and I would do my best deadpan sincere voice and say "no, it's always been like that! :D". Since I live in Europe it was really easy for me to exclusively work at night time for them, so from their point of view I was never really online. So over the course of probably like a year and a half, I just kept Extending The House. Every so slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. I kept making strange rooms with no purpose. Hallways that connected only to each other. Doors that lead to nowhere. Until finally one day, I logged in and there was a new room that I had Not built, and a new staircase that had definitely not been there before. Eventually I stopped adding onto my House because when I would log on it would be different anyway. Without me even doing it. One time I logged on and there were balloons. One day I logged on and my house was made of netherite. I realise it was my friends finally noticing the tomfoolery I'd been pulling for over a year and doing it back, but I like to believe that I'd committed to the bit of my house Growing for so long that I'd accidentally hexed it and it truly did begin manifesting its self :)
Except. the strange happenings did not stop there. Under the cut is all of my memories of unexplainable, weird and just generally Fucked Up things that occurred in my Minecraft House
Before I begin I think it’s important to note that I built this house because I was listening to The Magnus Archives and thought “oh hah hah a house that keeps changing that’s the kind of funny thing that would happen in a spiral statement” except it stopped being funny when it actually started happening. And when it just didn’t stop
There was a room full of mannequins that NOBODY KNEW ABOUT because it was very well hidden, except, when the final server download of the SMP was made available, all of the mannequins had MOVED INTO MY HALLWAYS.
There was a hidden ventilation system that allowed me to move between rooms that weren't usually connected, so I could essentially teleport between far apart rooms without being seen
My basement was only accessible through a 'fake wall' which was a minecraft map that I had put inside an item frame, except the map looked exactly like cobblestone, so it blended in to the rest of the wall. Nobody noticed for like half a year
The basement contained a glass room with a creeper inside of it and a sign that said "DON'T LET IT OUT". One time I logged on and the creeper had become a block of bedrock
One time I logged on and my house was surrounded by black and yellow 'police tape' I don't know who did this
Probably the most fucked up part is that my house became HAUNTED after a while by a server admin with a really creepy skin. They had programmed it so whenever they left spectator mode, it would play a really loud thunder sound and emit smoke particles. They kept showing up in my house literally just to mess with me and make fun of me. But the worst part was they'd made it so they wouldn't appear in the online players menu so I genuinely would not know if I was being watched or not, and like, there was a really high chance that I was being watched because this guy's new hobby was scaring the shit out of me by exploding into existence in front of me in my own hallways but I could Never Know For Sure. So I lived in constant fear. They turned my own home into the panopticon.
Said admin also gave me swaths of illegal items so my house eventually grew a room dedicated to contraband that literally not even the owner of the server could obtain. One time I logged on and a polar bear was in there. Okay
I dug a tunnel from my basement to the neighbour’s house only to discover that they had a HUGE painting of me on their wall inside their basement. I closed that tunnel. They did not mention the painting to me ever
One time a friend managed to get admin but the server owner forgot to deop them. She turned all of my walls into netherite and bedrock, and to hide that this had happened from the server owner, we COVERED THE OUTSIDE WALLS from top to bottom in PAINTINGS. It looked ridiculous. IT WORKED
There were 5-ish bedrooms and none of them were mine
I logged on after my birthday to see my front door adorned with balloons addressed to ‘Charlotte’. My name is not charlotte. Nobody on the server is named Charlotte
The guy who got admin and never had it removed also put stalagmites inside my roof somehow. The server owner did some magic to revert the roofs back to wool, but the stalagmites didn’t fall down, so in my lovely cozy kitchen there are various dripping stalagmites hanging from the ceiling
They also turned my dinner table into bedrock and placed an end crystal on it, so immediately upon entering the front door you were presented with what was essentially a nuke that would explode the house if you even looked at it funny. It never exploded
There are entire CHUNKS missing from underneath my house due to me mindlessly mining away entire tectonic plates of the earth. The caverns are so big that there is fog down there. At one point it started to form its own biome
It had a pond that whenever you placed a fish in it the fish would disappear. Even if the fish was named, the fish would disappear.
A friend was hosting an event and I was supposed to have found the invite in my mail box. My house does not have a mail box, instead I found the invite almost a year later buried under like 10 blocks of dirt a couple hundred blocks away from my house in a forest
The server’s monorail got extended to my house, except there’s nothing beyond my house, so the monorail just stopped. This meant that upon arriving at my house via train you would instantly fall off the railway and die
I forgot to mention but the vents are filled with water. So if you get lost in the vents, which is very easy to do since it’s pitch black, you will probably drown to death in my walls
The curtains look like red banners but they are actually white banners which have been dyed half red, half red
I built a lot of custom trees around my house to make it less ugly since it was REALLY ugly but one day I logged on and all of the leaves in the surrounding forest were Gone. The rest of the server had leaves, it was just my general blast radius that had suddenly lost all of its leaves, so my house ended up being surrounded by a bunch of tree skeletons
Apparently my house has a Girlboss Containment Chamber (?)
I always wanted to play hide and seek in my house since it was so big, so I added lots of small nooks and crannies which you could hide in. We never played hide and seek so now my house is just filled with tiny hiding spots that nobody knows about except me
One of the various kitchens had furnaces that were always burning despite there being nothing actually inside of the furnaces
All of the chests inside of the house are filled with glitched maps that do open, but have literally nothing on them any more
The snow around my house gradually was turning into white carpets and I had to keep replacing them with actual snow
THE SECOND most fucked up part is the time THE VOID consumed my entire world. I logged on and realized I was trapped in my house and that the door wouldn’t open, so I ended up breaking it down, just to find everyone else on the server appeared frozen in place. and it just didn’t change. I was online for like thirty real life minutes while watching someone who was online stream it properly and nobody moved an inch. I ended up wandering around the server in this limbo state like a ghost until I noticed that entire chunks of the world started VANISHING. I tried (increasingly panicked) asking for help but my messages would take like 10 minutes to send and by then it was too late anyway because the entire void corrupted the world, and I fell into it. I didn’t even die I just fell for tens of thousands of blocks into the void and this entire time I was recording it because it was genuinely kind of spooky EXCEPT. THE RECORDING. VANISHED. INTO THIN AIR. It wasn’t even in my recycle bin it just was GONE. This has never happened to me since and from the streamer's perspective, I was just stood in my house the entire time, right behind the closed doors.
I remembered some more bits and bobs and found pictures!! Also I literally had a dream last night btw that someone reblogged this and said "damn bitch you live like this?" and it made me wake myself up from laughing
The house was lit up fine, but for some reason creepers (and only creepers) would sometimes spawn in there. So I had to be careful whenever I turned a corner because there was a nonzero chance there would be one staring me down like freddy fazbear in my doorway
To combat this I had several cats and a fox named Froyo who wandered my house, but one day every single animal on the server spontaneously died on the spot simultaneously
I had plans to build an exact replica of the house underneath the house, I never finished it though because of time restraints but could you fucking imagine
I really like the farlands, so one day while mindlessly mining out the gaping caverns underneath my house I chiseled a chunk of farlands. So in the dimly lit no-man’s land beneath my home there was (what looked like) a chunk from the farlands just hanging out in there
One day while digging down to look for diamonds or whatever I fell down into an exact replica of the backrooms which someone had for some reason constructed. This thing is genuinely thousands of blocks wide I got lost in there within a minute and it was just Below My House this whole time
At one point I built a house made out of netherite, diamond and emerald blocks on my front yard just because it looked like the kind of thing a kid would make when they first get creative and it made me laugh
Sidenote but my whimsical and goofy reputation meant that I got so much insane stuff for free because nobody was worried about me ever actually using it. One time an admin gave me so many hearts that it covered the left side of my screen and they just forgot to take it away for like a week. I was literally immortal and living in a home made of diamonds and netherite like I cannot stress how rich and powerful I was but all I used my power for was making my house really weird
This goes without saying but there is obviously a herobrine summoner in my basement
The “biome” that started growing in my cavernous mining-area basement was a lush caves biome, which wasn’t actually added into the game yet
On the last day of the server, some newer members were given creative and blew everything up for fun. For some reason they were able to roll back all of the other explosions EXCEPT the ones that destroyed my House
I found a brown mooshroom cow thousands of blocks away, so I lead it back but upon entering the threshold of my Home it literally died on the spot. His grave is still there ☹
One day I logged on and someone had built a giant soulsand Totem in front of my home and lit a bunch of my stuff on blue-fire. Still not sure what that meant
Below my home there’s a box named “containment chamber 1” except why is it called chamber one. That implies that there’s more and I don’t know where they are. Maybe my entire home is a containment chamber
At one point, random blocks in my house started turning into bedrock. This means that you literally could not fully destroy my house no matter what. Also I vividly remember an admin came over to my house to do a HOUSE INSPECTION and get rid of any anomalous blocks, and in a panicked attempt to make my home look normal, I covered all of the bedrock up with trapdoors so they wouldn’t stand out and my house could remain weird. This worked btw. This was also the same admin that PUT THOSE BLOCKS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE
On literally the first day when I moved into the plot of land that would become my House I found an indestructible, invisible floating block right where I wanted to build
I forgot to mention but my house is both a house, a small village and a whole Area called “Sans County” on account of the giant sans undertale statue that appeared on top of my house one day. Anyway through various geo-political disputes and SMP Lore Stuff that I was barely involved in, I somehow accidentally ended up inheriting almost literally the entire server by virtue of being the last one alive. So by the end of the SMP, the entire server was technically my House
dededos
jbbartram-illu
pixelskylines
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
discoholicmusic
