afterglow

binche | 26

[cheaphalloweencostume]

god give me a sign but not that one i just saw

[persianmom-deactivated20260602]

she’s just like me fr

[roycohn]

there's an old anne rice interview circulating on twitter rn that i remember reading ages ago where she makes a pretty salient point about how submissive men who have bdsm fantasies etc will go to a sex worker and basically order the ala carte version of their fantasy to be performed in real life but women don't really have that same option and certainly not at the same point of availability so they read her horny books instead. and honestly that argument has been in the back of my mind every time people get on their high horses about the popularity of booktok romantasy novels or heated rivalry or whatever the "women are horny and we're upset about that" cultural property du jour is ever since. women, especially straight women, have so few outlets for their sexual desires, especially if they have a partner who doesn't share them, and i will never understand why "someone ELSE'S private sexual fantasy makes me uncomfortable and therefore they should not be allowed to engage with it, even if i am in no way being affected by it or even aware of it at all" is such a popular party line among allegedly progressive young people.

[blacklesbianprincess]

“women, especially straight women have so few outlets” so what exactly do you think lesbians have? like why does it always come back to straight women???

[algolagniaa]

literally where are all these outlets for lesbian sexuality the op lives around

[roycohn]

i'm literally a lesbian and while i've explained this several times, my point in this framing is that i do not have the same fears for my safety when engaging in NSA sex and hookup culture that straight women en masse have to contend with. if i want to meet a woman off an app and hook up after some basic vetting, i can be reasonably certain that if we're not vibing or the chemistry is off, i can leave safely and nothing bad will happen to me. i don't have to tell 6 people where i'm going and set up a bunch of check-ins and code words for my personal safety. straight women do. i have a reasonable spread of outlets for my sexuality as a dyke in a major east coast city but more importantly, i *do* feel luckier and better-off in this regard when compared to straight women who have to take far greater measures to ensure their personal safety and it takes away nothing from me to admit this. i'm a gay woman who has empathy for women who don't have the option to just withdraw from interacting with men while still getting their sexual and romantic needs met, cope and seethe about it i guess

[roycohn]

there's an old anne rice interview circulating on twitter rn that i remember reading ages ago where she makes a pretty salient point about how submissive men who have bdsm fantasies etc will go to a sex worker and basically order the ala carte version of their fantasy to be performed in real life but women don't really have that same option and certainly not at the same point of availability so they read her horny books instead. and honestly that argument has been in the back of my mind every time people get on their high horses about the popularity of booktok romantasy novels or heated rivalry or whatever the "women are horny and we're upset about that" cultural property du jour is ever since. women, especially straight women, have so few outlets for their sexual desires, especially if they have a partner who doesn't share them, and i will never understand why "someone ELSE'S private sexual fantasy makes me uncomfortable and therefore they should not be allowed to engage with it, even if i am in no way being affected by it or even aware of it at all" is such a popular party line among allegedly progressive young people.

[atinymekanie]

The only issue I genuinely ever take with the romantasy tropes is that often they seem to be utterly nonconsensual on the part of the woman, as she is simply accepting (often with a lot of internal monologue about how she’s scared/concerned/upset about) the man treating her in whatever way his fantasy runs, which usually seems to be very dominance-based.

In this world where women are already subjected to the sexual whims of their male partners and their own desires are often ignored or belittled, I very decidedly don’t wish to read about that exact same thing happening to the FMC. Now, if the FMC is living her best life whilst being subjected to these tropes and shadow-daddy MMCs, then good for her!

I just really wish that the FMC’s pleasure and desires would be centered, rather than just assumed to be submissive and then executed as such without first asking.

So yeah, am I asking to see the kink negotiation scene? Hell yeah, I am.

[ariaste]

Nope. Because in a book like that, the BOOK ITSELF IS HAPPENING WITHIN THE KINK SCENE. The kink is non-diagetic! It's like saying "I don't like when movies have music that comes from nowhere, I wish they would show us where the musicians are, how do you have an orchestra pit when the heroine is running around the moors in the fog and the rain??" The kink negotiation scene isn't happening between the characters, it's happening implicitly between the reader and the author, and your power to withdraw consent is perpetual and ongoing -- all you have to do is close the book and walk away. You're allowed to do that, and I encourage you to do it.

But for things happening between the characters, if the FMC is scared-AND-horny or whatever, that's what the fantasy is supposed to be and you as the reader are expected to do some basic suspension of disbelief in order to engage with the idea that (just like in a kink scene!) this is not real, this is just for pretend, everyone is safe and no one is actually getting hurt. On account if it is fiction.

Now, if you're not into that, that's perfectly fine, I am not saying you have to be into reading things that you don't like. If you want to see some kink negotiation, that's cool. Sometimes, there are books that are about diagetic kink, and they do include those negotiation scenes. But for non-diagetic kink (aka the thing you're "taking issue" with), I don't think that it's fair to say that it's wrong for those books to be written that way. A woman's desires ARE being centered -- either the author's own desires or what the author is envisioning the reader will desire. If you're not into it--again, that's perfectly fine, it's just not the right book for you or the right genre for you. Read something else.

You missed the point of the first post, @atinymekanie, so let's read it together again:

women, especially straight women, have so few outlets for their sexual desires, especially if they have a partner who doesn't share them, and i will never understand why "someone ELSE'S private sexual fantasy makes me uncomfortable and therefore they should not be allowed to engage with it, even if i am in no way being affected by it or even aware of it at all" is such a popular party line among allegedly progressive young people.

"yes but the only issue i take with romantasy tropes [...]" literally is just "someone else's private sexual fantasy makes me uncomfortable" in different clothing. Do you see what I'm saying? You're doing the same thing. "Yes but when it comes to the thing *I* don't like, people shouldn't do it that way." Not everyone is doing it that way! Read different books!

[komsomolka]

looked up russians vs japanese piracy twt beef and its worse than i thought😭 it all started with japanese users being mad at discovering there's all those unofficial russian manga reading sites. russians tell them that there's not much licensed manga in russia to consume legally in the first place. japanese say its your problem, you should then go to japan and buy it legally. russians obviously go ??? it's crazy expensive to fly to japan plus we're sanctioned and often can't purchase foreign things with our money. japanese go full russophobia and say ahhh you evil aggressors deserve it for war. russians answer that even before the war this wouldn't be a solution. then brazilians join russians to fight on the side of piracy and started gotcha japanese with their war crimes and xenophobia. then other japanese users joined on the side of piracy and said anti-piracy japanese are hypocrites because its common in japan to listen to pirated western music. i guess this made japanese anti-piracy people even madder and they went all in saying crazy stuff like comparing piracy to rape. the more hilarious example was one japanese user trying to gotcha russians by threatening to pirate and read... dostoevsky🤣 sums up their level of ignorance regarding this whole topic.

[premierhazel]

[anarchopuppy]

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

[iightwoodbane]

i'm completely hopeless

[jellyribbons]

Wedding night

[wonderstruck]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

[iightwoodbane]

i used to say that i miss having a crush all the time and now that i'm in it i remember how hellish it is

[iightwoodbane]

it's just so fucking annoying having feelings for someone and knowing that that person had/has feelings for you too but nothing can come off it. i'd be better off moving on and yet here i am!

every time we hang out i think about how easy it feels to talk to him, how interesting i find him, how highly he speaks of me, and wonder why it couldn't just be easy like it is for everyone else. people meet and almost accidentally fall into relationships all the time yet here i am pining for someone who has outright told me he has no space in his life for a relationship cuz he has so much to figure out....and i just can't let go

[iightwoodbane]

i used to say that i miss having a crush all the time and now that i'm in it i remember how hellish it is

[moklahoma]

Came back from visiting family in Nigeria

[decomposedmaw]

fishing spot

I finally made an Instagram for my pixel art

[decomposedmaw]

Overgrown House

[iightwoodbane]

told one of my friends that the guy i was hooking up with/now have feelings for is really rich and she goes "oh wow good for you" so i was like "we're not together why good for me" and she goes "this situation is clearly not over yet" KDSHJFSDKJFHSD

[littlecornerinbrooklyn]

Gilmore Girls is SO GOOD and it treats women as complex people with entire lives and universes inside of them and it makes sure that you understand that all of them find value in different things and how mothers and daughters can be so different and what it's like when you're a kid who doesn't feel like your parents like you but it also shows how hard it is to actually break generational habits and how we can't force people to change but in our best moments we can laugh about the things that other times frustrate us and just understand our mothers and grandmothers and daughters as people who are going to make mistakes but who are also sincerely sorry and it's about love and communities and what life could be like if our town gathered every week and had a diner with really good burgers

[goldcrescent]

I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀

[iightwoodbane]

i keep seeing this opinion online and while it's nice in theory, i don't think a lot of people realize how dangerous this can be