he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
One Nice Bug Per Day
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
sheepfilms
Misplaced Lens Cap
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
pixel skylines
No title available
Sweet Seals For You, Always
oozey mess
No title available
Three Goblin Art
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
todays bird
Product Placement
⁂
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@iii-official
// just to be clear, if an email address or website is ever mentioned in any post on here, it's one i've made sure to check does not exist, at least at time of posting. please do not send emails to random addresses on here; it will likelier than not just bounce and be a waste of your time.
Hello everyone! Sorry for the long absence, there was an incident but I am now metaphysically incapable of doing more than vaguely talking around it, so I’m clear to run public-facing accounts again!
should i be concerned
help! I found a lost noise marine. I think he got separated from his warband. He was moping around and not murdering. Kinda going like this
I put him up in the spare bedroom with a bunch of eemmmm toys and turned on some heavy metal, but he still won't eat or play his guitar (?) (or mine for that matter - I offered). What should I do? Do you guys want to pick him up maybe?
I’m sorry it took so long to answer this, I kept reading it fully intending to answer and then crying about this poor Noise Marine. Of COURSE we will send someone to pick him up! Send us your galactic coordinates and someone will be by ASAP
Who *does* Lucius vaccination anyway??? Fabius??????? How much do you pay him to put up with that
Great question! As far as I'm aware, his personal apothecary Cesare takes care of that. If this has changed, we haven't been updated on that yet
Have we considered getting lucius a tag so we can track him. Naturally, any kind of collar or leash would just end up having... other effects, and we praise our dark lady for opening our hearts to such sensations.
Also, have we made sure he has all his shots up to date? With him being an outside flawless blade at present, I'm worried about him getting rabies or any other one of the "gifts" of the melodious grandfather
Great question! Unfortunately, due to the nature of his regeneration, we would have to re-chip him every time he comes back :( I’m told we do keep him up to date on his vaccinations, though! Or at least as up to date as we can, given how easy it is to lose track of him when he resurrects
My lord if it is of any comfort, I don't think we should beat you to death with hammers and bricks
Thank you, loyal citizen. I may have my faults but I do not deserve such an archaic punishment. I believe.
I have a suggestion
And what would that be, official blog of the Emperor's Children
Let our glorious Primarch finish what he started
My lord if it is of any comfort, I don't think we should beat you to death with hammers and bricks
Thank you, loyal citizen. I may have my faults but I do not deserve such an archaic punishment. I believe.
I have a suggestion
everyone is always asking, “iii-official” (not my name) “iii-official, what is it LIKE being a veteran of the long war? seeing your own cousins take up arms against you?” and i always say. i don’t know. im not an astartes. they all seem at least a little tortured by it though. except lucius. ive honestly never seen him happier
“iii-official” (still not my name) “iii-official, what do you MEAN you’re not an astartes!?” im a remembrancer. mind you, ive BEEN a remembrancer for 10,000 years so i don’t think im HUMAN anymore. but im certainly not an astartes
FOR THE RECORD.
My name is Kyrie! Pronunciation guide: “Keer” (like ‘beer’) “Eee” “Ay”. I have a degree in Chemosian Folk Art and Music from the Callax Public University, and I was a remembrancer on the Pride of the Emperor. After the Maraviglia I ended up in a pseudo-Noise cult, I don’t think a Kakophonii was ever actually involved, but there was a Sorcerer who would sort of, scrape clean the soul gem or whatever in Aeldari wraith knights and then we would call down a Slaaneshi daemon to inhabit the empty gem with song.
We got kind of scattered after some servants of the Laughing God caught wind of what we were doing and came to put a stop to it, and then I’ve got a handful of blank years, and I spent a while undercover on an Imperial world… And then through some miracle, the Lord Commander Primus recognized me on a raid and offered me a position with the Third Millenial! So now here I am!
also NOBODY PANIC! but we seem to have lost track of Lucius again. so if you see him. please let us know so someone can be sent to pick him up. don’t panic! just keep your distance and try not to be noticed, and he should leave you alone
Just saw him outside. I’m scared.
DON’T PANIC!!!!!! Please send us your planetary coordinates and we will come get him!
How many consorts does the primarch currently have and how many murder (attempts) have there been in his harem during the last standard year?
600 and we don’t really keep track of that, sorry
also NOBODY PANIC! but we seem to have lost track of Lucius again. so if you see him. please let us know so someone can be sent to pick him up. don’t panic! just keep your distance and try not to be noticed, and he should leave you alone
Are Eidolon and or Lucius and or the Primarch taking applications for consorts, mayhaps
I’m going to be so supremely honest with you, anon, that’s usually not a voluntary position. The hiring process for that usually looks like “Oooh, I like the look of you, mine now”. I guess if you really want to, you can send some headshots and what you have experience doing to… Yeah, [email protected] should be fine, I’m sure they’ve seen worse
everyone is always asking, “iii-official” (not my name) “iii-official, what is it LIKE being a veteran of the long war? seeing your own cousins take up arms against you?” and i always say. i don’t know. im not an astartes. they all seem at least a little tortured by it though. except lucius. ive honestly never seen him happier
“iii-official” (still not my name) “iii-official, what do you MEAN you’re not an astartes!?” im a remembrancer. mind you, ive BEEN a remembrancer for 10,000 years so i don’t think im HUMAN anymore. but im certainly not an astartes
everyone is always asking, “iii-official” (not my name) “iii-official, what is it LIKE being a veteran of the long war? seeing your own cousins take up arms against you?” and i always say. i don’t know. im not an astartes. they all seem at least a little tortured by it though. except lucius. ive honestly never seen him happier
So You Want To Join A Slaaneshi Cult
First of all, congratulations! Shaking off the yoke of the Corpse-Emperor isn't an easy task, and we're all very proud of you! Or maybe you've spent your life dedicated to another of the Gods, or Chaos Undivided, and want to take things in a different direction? Either way!
We all have fun here! That is, in fact, roughly the entire point of The Dark Prince. To enjoy life, and all the sensations in it. And it's so much more fun to do that with company!
If you're on a Chaos world, you'll have less of a problem; you may be in touch with a Slaaneshi cult already! But for our friends in the Imperium, things are more tricky. Servants of any of the True Powers have to keep a low profile.
If that's the case for you, look for local groups that advertise as things like 'music appreciation groups', 'artist collectives', maybe even a 'society of sensation' if things are a little more lax on your planet. You may have to settle for an Undivided cult for the time being, but believe me, paths to The Dark Prince will open up to you once Chaos takes your world!
And if you are truly in dire straits, and can't seem to find anyone like-minded near you? Don't be afraid to get things rolling yourself! We have more detailed guides on how to get a Slaaneshi cult started from zero here. Who knows! Maybe you're surrounded by friends, who just need that little nudge to reveal their true colours!
i was supposed to make a post about joining slaaneshi cults for newbies today. whoops. maybe this is why the lord commander primus doesn’t approve my time off requests
