MOVING
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MOVING
Effective inmediately this blog is an archive, if you want to continue interacting you can find me HERE
MOVING
Effective inmediately this blog is an archive, if you want to continue interacting you can find me HERE
MOVING
Effective inmediately this blog is an archive, if you want to continue interacting you can find me HERE
Have you seen lighting strike? It has a blunt and natural force that travels before you realize, warming and transforming all it touches, thatâs what Elsaâs touch is to Hans tonight, after all this time, itâs like the first time, itâs like being back in the cell and yet, it feels like theyâve advanced so much and Hans understands that difference now.
He engulfs her in a hug, starved of their closeness, a kiss lingering on her cheek.
âLetâs get our room, tell me things that bother you before they become pent up issues⊠donât stop loving me.â His hugs tightens âBecause I need you, and itâs the most wonderful thing, but itâs scary Elsa, to be this vulnerable, to know that your opinions matter to me, to be terrified of hurting you.â
âAnd I wouldnât let any of that go.â
Elsaâs arms wrap around him and cling, like heâs whatâs anchoring her to her spot now. Â She knew she missed him but how much wasnât apparent until now. She felt warm again, whole and safe as she pulled back to take his face in her hands, her thumbs caressing his stubble.
âI will never stop loving you. I need you to know that, to always remember it. Weâre going to fight and sometimes needs space but my love doesnât stop when we do. Iâll do a better job of being your partner and not treating you like a man I share my room with. I donât care how many pairs of dirty boots you leave on the floor.â
"That's all a man can ask for" he smiles and kisses her lips. Long and slow
"I don't know what else to do, I just know I love you and.. I came to clean because you think my ship is filthy.. and you may have been right" he observes around the room. He is ashamed of the amount of Alcohol that's in there.
"It may be a good moment to reflect in my drinking habits and what I do when I'm upset.. how I cope"
Hans stops what heâs doing and invites her in, closing the door behind her. âNo, Iâm not leaving.â he answers, âI justâŠâ He licks his lips, âMy mother is still alive but sheâs lost in alcohol, and I was no different than her last night. I just feared I might hurt you; I hurt myself.â He raises his hand and then moves closer to her. âIâm sorry I worried you.â
He moves some of the empty cases of vodka that are now resting on the bed, âBut I didnât feel welcome in your room, I think we can talk about it now.â He makes room for her to sit down, or lie down if she wants.
She takes the spot heâs cleared for her and sits down, a hand cradling her belly as she does, the other helping her keep herself balanced as the ship rocked gently on the water.
âI understand what itâs like to be afraid of hurting someone you love and I can respect that you needed space to sober up and think, that you did is a good thing. Youâre not your parents. We all make mistakes but you saw yours and it looks like your trying to correct it so give yourself some credit.â She smiles and takes his hand, unable to stand the lack of contact after such a long night.
âHow can I make you feel safe and at home here? What do you need me to change?â
Have you seen lighting strike? it has a blunt and natural force that travels before you realize, warming and transforming all it touches, thatâs what Elsaâs touch its to Hans tonight, after all this time, itâs like the first time, itâs like being back in the cell and yet, it feels like theyâve advanced so much and Hans understands that difference now.
He engulfs her in a hug, starved of their closeness, a kiss linger in her cheek.
âLetâs get our room, tell me things that bother you before they become pent up issues... donât stop loving meâ his hugs tightens âBecause I need you, and itâs the most wonderful thing but itâs scary Elsa, to be this vulnerable, to know that your opinions matter to me, to be terrified of hurting you.â
âAnd I wouldnât let any of that goâ
âHi,â She smiled a little and gave him a small wave from where she stood in the doorway. âI went to your room to see how you were feeling and you werenât there. You werenât anywhere I looked, I worried you might be leaving. Youâre not leaving are you?â Her hands wrung together nervously, voice cracking with emotion she was afraid to fully express here.
This was his home, his crew, and she was the guest. The irony doesnât go unnoticed.
âNot that I would blame you if you were. Itâs not like Iâve made you feel welcome the last couple of weeks; you were right when you said I was rude and bossy yesterday.â
Hans stops what heâs doing and invites her in, closing the door behind her âNo, Iâm not leavingâ he answers, âI just..â he licks his lips âMy mother is still alive but sheâs lost in alcohol, and I was no different than her last night, I just feared I might hurt you; I hurt myselfâ he raises his hand and then gets near to her âIâm sorry I worried youâ
And then he moves some of the empty cases of vodka that are now resting on the bed âBut I didnât felt welcome on your room, I think we can talk about it nowâ he makes room for her to sit down or lie down if she wants
After she left Hans had a nap, and once he felt in better shape for it - and less drunk - Â he stood up, he realized how stupid his decision had been. Not only had he hurt himself but endangered their relationship, what if Elsa thought he was a violent prick?.
He decided a compromise was due, and he went for his ship, a spring cleaning was ordered and while he started to move empty bottles around he realized how many he had.
Perhaps too many and while holding one in his hand he felt ashamed.
Was he unaware and slowly becoming like his parents?
âI want this ship so clean I can see my face on all surfaces!â he barked to his men and kept tidying his room himself.
When morning come and Elsa went to check on her betrothed she found him gone; which wouldnât have scared her the way it did now if their night hadnât ended on such sour terms. She was almost frantic as she scoured the castle and found Hans nowhere, no one had seen him since the night before.
Had she pushed him too far?
It was Lars who pointed her in the direction of the docks, âThereâs been a lot of crates being moved back and forth and heâs been barking orders all morning. Is everything alright?â
âYes, I think so. I just need to talk to him.â
Lars wasnât wrong. Elsa could hear it all from where she stood at the ramp, when her presence was finally noticed all motion stalled, like they didnât know if they were supposed to continue or hide from her.
âYour majesty, â a young man no older than seventeen bowed low and tripped over himself coming down to greet her. âThe Admiral didnât tell us you were coming.â
âThatâs became he doesnât know,â She smiles. âCould you please tell him I would like to come aboard and talk to him.â
âYes! Right away!â He took off with as much grace as he had come down.
âA-admiralâ The boy started âNot now swab, Iâm busyâ âThe Queen is here and she desires to talk to youâ He was nervous ready for Hans to take his anger on him âElsa is here?â he stopped all cleaning, he nodded âPut the bridge down, let her come up but send Gibbs to my cabin first, am I clear?â âYes, Admiralâ
At that the boy went away, sending Gibbs to the cabin and then giving word of the admiralâs orders, that were promptly followed. Gibbs was told to give them privacy and before Elsa was completely there, almost all crew had dissipated to the under deck, only the ones who were to put up the bridge and make sure she wouldnât trip remained, that and Gibbs himself.
âMajestyâ He addressed âHeâs waiting for you on his Cabinâ He had a concerned expression, he didnât knew what was going on and he was worried things had truly went that south that quickly, but heâll leave them to figure things out
When she was at the door and on his line of vision Hans greeted her with a smile and a mumbled âhiâ
His reluctance to talk is concerning, more so the reasons he wants to wait to resolve this. Theyâve disagreed before and heâs never asked for time away from her. âOf course,â she doesnât interfere with his choice to pull away and lay down. âYouâve had a few drinks and rest is probably a good idea at this point. I hope that you will talk to me, when youâre ready.â
With nothing left to do but cover him in a blanket and kiss his cheek Elsa leaves him to his sleep; her steps down the hall take her to her own chamber where the blood had been cleaned from the floor but still stains the painted stone wall where Hansâ fist made contact.
She skipped dinner with Anna and Kristoff in favor of dinning alone in her room and turning in early. Elsa wasnât in the mood for conversation, not with so much lingering from earlier. She was beginning to doubt her suitability as a wife; if she canât handle a pair of muddy boots by the door or the occasional shared toothbrush how was she going to handle years of marriage?
After she left Hans had a nap, and once he felt in better shape for it - and less drunk - Â he stood up, he realized how stupid his decision had been,not only had he hurt himself but endangered their relationship, what if Elsa thought he was a violent prick?.
He decided a compromise was due, and he went for his ship, a spring cleaning was ordered and while he started to move empty bottles around he simply realized how many he had.
Perhaps too many and while holding one on his hand he felt ashamed.
Was he unaware and slowly becoming like his parents?
âI want this ship so clean I can see my face on all surfaces!â he barked to his men and kept tidying his room himself.
âSure,â she smiles back, âyou can start on browning the sausage while I do the sauce. The pans are under that cabinet, and the meat is in the fridge. Does Adam like pieces of tomato?â
Itâs nice having people in her home, a man, if sheâs being honest with herself. She has friends who have become family checking in on her but it doesnât feel like this does. This feels so normal that she nearly forgets itâs not like this every night as cuts the onions.
Magnus loved to cook, especially together.
âNot a problem, he eats everything you want, period, heâs not picky or anythingâ he smiles as he pulls what she asked him to, it takes him a while to find his way around her kitchen but he does, he rolls up his sleeves and does as instructed, putting the raw tomatoes on a skillet on mid fire and using a pair of kitchen tongs to turn them around while cutting the sausage, even though she said sheâll do the sauce this helps a lot, and Hans was in for practical
âI have the tomatoes already here and I can peel themâ a pause â..or notâ he licks his lips âI donât know what kind of sauce youâre doing actuallyâ he laughs realizing he probably went ahead of himself on that one.
Hans: The Duke of Weselton is immoral.
Anna: The garbage prince is right. Promote him to garbage king.
Elsa chuckles, his smiles always brighten her own. "I'm going to Stortbrooke to see Dr.Whale this afternoon and I would like for you to come with me. I know you've never been there and it might be scary but it would mean a lot to me if you were."
"Absolutely!" He smiles more "This sounds like an adventure,I get to go to a new place with you, be with you alone and finally know storybrooke so I'm not surprised when you talk about things I don't have idea, and I get go see all things Dr. Whale has to -- Wait, why are you going? Are we going to see the baby again?"
What is your mother like?
"My mother and me are physically alike, I mean all my brothers are, Both of my parents are redheads but hers is the color of all the brother's hair, she has this pair of wonderful and beautiful hazel eyes, amber looking most of the time, her face is dusted with freckles, almost childish and her little nose is very cute, very tiny ladylike if you must; Thank god we inherited similar noses and not my father's that looks like a beack." He smirks"She's probably as tall as Anna, definitely shorter than Elsa" He ponders "Yes. That's what it is""And she is.. loving and caring and refined" he clears his throat, that part seemed not to come so easy, the second part sounds if not repetitive, rehearsed. "She's a queen, she's got grace, wisdom,kindness,she is fair and just" He smiles
Do you get along with Jurgen and Franz now?
Hans and his brothers - Jurgen and Franz specifically - have a diplomatic relationship; they talk to each other politely now that they're adults and only interact with each other whenever strictly necesary, like in this case and verse, where Hans' mother is on her deathbed and requested to be brought to Hans.He refused to answer the question btw.
When did you and Lars mend your relationship? Or has it always been good?
"Lars has been the closest to real family I've ever had; As a child I faulted his passion for history, I was starved of attention and it couldn't all come from Lars but I didn't understand that, he was a child himself suffering and going through for the same stages I did, with less brothers, but the same problem: my father.I believe our relationship tightened when I became a man, he was there to answer my questions and guide me, he was the one who suggested I tried to woo Elsa he was always supportive of me and always believed in me, which I appreciated back then and I am aware of now as an adult.Our relationship was as good as it could be for the place we were, and now; outside of the isles we both can breathe and see the world with different eyes thus our bond became stronger"
"Hans, are you gonna help me decorate for Elsa's shower? I think she's starting to suspect something, but has no idea what that something is." ~freckledcrocus
"I have no idea what are you talking about, I'm not that far on the book..." he sounds taken aback since Anna got him before he knew what she was talking about "I vaguely remember a conversation that this is an all girls party.. isn't it?"
He shakes his head, âNot today,â he lets her take care of him, âI donât want to do it todayâŠâ he doesnât want to explain further but for her sake heâll throw her a bone. ââŠI donât feel in condition, thatâs all.â After that much whiskey and a fight he simply didnât want to, and it may be the alcohol, but Elsaâs decision felt like budging instead of a commitment, she had been cornered to accept what he said only because he blew his gasket and punched a wall.
âYou didnât push me anywhere or in any way; I did this myself, we fought and I choose to do this, I wasnât expecting to see you back so soon.â He explains and to him it makes sense.
âThank youâ
Where she used to be able to read his thoughts there was now a silence between them and it left a pang of guilt in Elsaâs chest.  âI wish you would tell me what youâre thinking instead of what you believe I want to hear, because itâs not going to fix this, us. You chose to punch a wall and break your hand, I chose to berate you over flaws I let my mind invent becauseâŠIâm scared. Iâve been so focused on how all these little changes are affecting me I didnât think about you and how much of a change this is for you.â
She canât keep using being accustomed to solitude as an excuse anymore.
âYou donât have to do anything today, or tomorrow. I hurt you and if you want space Iâll respect that.â
"Yes, I do" he states, "I want space to think and let this pass" he was referring to his now half inebriated state by now, he knows he'll only get worse "And when I'm sober, we'll talk" sober, Westergaards could be very cruel, inebriated Hans... well he didn't wanted to find out what he was capable of, punching a wall and breaking his hand was a bad decision, drinking a terrible one the first would heal over time, the later may be the starter signs of an illness he knows all too well.
And god, Lars is going to let him have it, if he founds out "Elsa-" he starts ready to ask her to keep this one from his brother, but they're friends, Lars is a confidante of sorts, he can't take away that just to spare himself from a spanking. "Thank you for taking care of my hand" he repeated even though he's sure he's said it more than a couple times now, he slowly recoiled his hand from her grasp, and kicked his boots by force of habit on the edge of the bed lying down afterwards.
"I love you, but we'll talk about this later." The posibility that this train may be just gone by the time 'later' came around didn't cross his mind.
At first he feels offended when she mentions the blood thinking this will be another fight, then relaxes and walks to her, âI owe you an apology too,â he is looking at his hands and not at her, itâs clear by the smell of alchohol on his breath heâs been drinking, although Hans is by no means inebriated yet.Â
âI shouldâve respected your privacy and understood your feelings better, instead of dismissing you.â He explains.
âI donât want to be in your room anymore,â he explains, âIâm a guest there, I want to have our room and if we have to wait two months for that- until the wedding - then so be it, but I donât want to be a guest in this castle⊠and I still feel like one.â All this time he is looking at his hand and fingers, ashamed of his own actions.
âAlso⊠sorry about your wall, and carpet, Iâll pay to have it replaced.â And at that he tries to go back to his chair and whiskey
Elsa catches his elbow and gently draws him back to her so she could undo the rushed cleaning and wrapping on his knuckles, âYouâre absolutely right. Arendelle is supposed to be your home now and for all my lecturing of Anna itâs me who is failing to make you feel safe and comfortable here. Â âItâs not supposed to be mine and yours anymore, itâs ours.â She pauses to sit him down on his bed where the bowl of warm water is still sitting on the bedside table, she puts his hand in it and starts to give it a better cleaning.
âYou should go to your ship and get your thingsâŠall of them. Letâs make our own room. The nursery is nearly done and it wonât take long to move our things into the adjoining room.â
She can smell the alcohol on his breath and it makes her stomach ache, and if sheâs honest heart too. He tried to talk and she didnât listen, she pushed him into a corner and he did the only thing he knows how to do.
âI pushed you and Iâm sorry.â
He shakes his head "Not today" he lets her take care of him "I don't want to do it today.." he doesn't want to explain further but for her sake he'll throw her a bone "..I don't feel in condition, that's all" after that much whiskey and a fight he simply didn't wanted to, also, it may be the alcohol or not, but Elsa's decision felt like budging instead of a commitment, she had been cornered to accept what he said only because he blew his casket and punched a wall.
"You didn't push me anywhere or in anyway; I did this myself, we fought and I choose to do this, I wasn't expecting to see you back so soon" he explains and to him it makes sense, all the while she cleans and gets his clean bandage ready.
"Thank you"