gn

trying my best

[foxhardt]

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

[wizardshark]

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

[xanaxfarts]

[megamindsupremacy]

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

[albva]

[albva]

um. i think that will make an even awkwarder silence

[no-one-offical]

‎

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[albva]

oh no you dont

🥚

[fibul]

longass movies that are mid are so baffling to me like you had all that time and you did what with it? not give your women enough lines thats for sure

[sexchangedotcom]

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[autistobrat]

*completely missing where the pulse is* I think this chap is dead

[northshorewave]

Handing the Google executive currently chained in my basement a piece of paper that reads "Shall I end your torture?" with one checkbox that reads "No" and another that reads "Maybe later."

[msburgundy-but-worser-deactivat]

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

[luimnigh]

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.

[stormsbourne]

one day it'll happen to you. you will stay up a bit too late playing a video game and not get to bed on time. I've done it before, you'll think. I'll be fine. but no. you will make it through most of the next day and then at about 2pm you will feel like a reanimated corpse whose sim meters are all completely fucked and nothing hurts exactly but everything does feel very bad. and you'll think oh yeah. I'm not twenty anymore

[brofisting]

PWHL ANNOUNCES PLAYER PROTECTION LISTS FOR PHASE 1 OF 2026 EXPANSION ROSTER BUILDING PROCESS

NEW YORK AND TORONTO (June 3, 2026) — The Professional Women’s Hockey League (PWHL) has confirmed protection lists from its eight existing t

[my-dailydreams]

[soracities]

this weekend’s to-do list:

clean room

catch up on reading

unshackle the bonds of womanhood & scream by the sea

[polartss]

the mockingjay

[beastliness]

hate it when the people who I love are suffering due to circumstances beyond my control 👎 there should be a sea monster that I can slay to fix the problem

[beastliness]

nobody ever gets locked in a tower or chained to a rock at sea anymore - it's always some shit like chronic illness or ptsd related depression

[not100bees]

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

[nixpunk]