I really don't understand Kaneki's and Hide's relationship, he seemed fine being without Hide when he was in Anteiku but when he hallucinated Hide he cried and said that he was lonely without him, this seems pretty contradictory...?
It’s not contradictory at all. I think you’re just misinterpreting Kaneki because you’re not taking into account his insecurity and his load of mental issues.
Long story short, Kaneki thought that Hide would be better off without him (and for a number of reasons). It’s because of how much Kaneki cares about him, that he left him behind. He thought that Hide could probably move on and find new friends and be safe without his influence. The problem was, Kaneki didn’t take into account how much he fears loneliness. He thought he could keep this up by sheer will, because it meant that he could keep Hide away from the ghoul world, that Hide would no longer be exposed to danger. But Kaneki’s way of bottling up his feelings and of shouldering everything alone ended up being the reason why he has always failed to find his happiness and also the reason why Hide got hurt in the end. So, admitting that he was lonely to Hide’s hallucination didn’t just mean “I miss my best friend”, but also “I can’t do this on my own anymore”. It was character development.
Now, if you want a more elaborate answer as to why Kaneki still left Hide even though he means the world to him, and if you also wish to understand why he has troubles admitting his feelings, I expanded on these topics under the cut.
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