@ikeu05 - Tumblr Blog

Jul 9

𝐢𝒏𝐝𝐞𝒙 ✸ and everything that's funny, i wish i could tell to him / and sometimes, at a low point, i even wish for a tragedy / cause i know hе'd come over and take rеal good care of me / but that's just a thing that happens when my baby goes away

synopsis after yn lies to her trusting, sweet boyfriend, jay and ends up in a terrifying late-night encounter with three drunk men, he completely breaks. when he raises the question of breaking up, yn's world instantly shatters.

pairing neighbour boyfriend! jay x fem! reader

genre angst, hurt, comfort

word count 12.9k (i swear this was just supposed to be 2k...)

warnings mentions of bruising, yn getting hurt, catcalling, harassment. implications of jay having gotten into a fight earlier and a bruised hand. yn is fucking stupid but she has #real problems.

nessie note Hi.. so it's been a hot minute since i've written something so long but i had a spur of inspiration while listening to ms. rodrigo's new album (everyone go cry to it like YEST!!!) and oh my god.... i'm not kidding but this rlly hit a little close than usual HAHAHAH. i may have lowkeyuninely cried while writing the argument because she's so real (and stupid). ANYWAY. i hope i write again soon and until then, i hope you cuties enjoy this and do let me know whose side you have in the fights :p happy reading !!

the silence of the night was absolute, broken only by the rhythmic clicking of yn’s boots against the cold pavement.

this had been her reality for the entire week. a sudden surge in late night project deadlines had forced her into a grueling schedule, leaving her to commute back to the apartment complex at hours when most of the city was fast asleep. and every single night, she kept it a closely guarded secret from jay.

she knew exactly how he would react if he found out. he would immediately drop whatever he was doing, argue with her and fiercely insist on driving down to pick her up, no matter how exhausted he was from his own corporate workload. honestly, she just didn't want the hassle. the thought of him losing sleep just to play chauffeur made her chest tighten with guilt. plus, she had been trying to convince herself that the twenty-minute walk from the subway station was a good way to get her daily steps in.

but as she stepped out of the station's brightly lit exit and into the chilly night air, jay’s warnings about the sketchy neighborhood echoed in the back of her mind. he was right. at this hour, the streets looked entirely different—darker, emptier and far more unpredictable.

pulling out her phone, the screen illuminated her face, displaying the time: 2:17 am. right at the top of her lock screen sat a string of text messages from jay, delivered just five minutes ago.

from seongie 🐈‍⬛ just finished reviewing my presentation for tomm (i hate work) heading to bed soon baby u’re asleep, right? ness said ur light was out i love you text me when u’re up ❤️❤️

yn let out a heavy, guilty sigh. she had asked ness to lie for her, telling the guys she was already asleep in her room just to avoid jay checking up on her. shoving the unanswered phone deep into her coat pocket, she wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck and started walking, her pace fast and deliberate.

she tried to hum a cheerful tune to break the oppressive silence but her voice sounded small and fragile against the vast emptiness of the street. there wasn't a single soul around. not a passing car, not even a stray cat. tonight, the shadows stretching from the alleyways felt heavier, casting an eerie, suffocating blanket over the neighborhood.

suddenly, a loud, piercing vibration shattered the quiet.

yn gasped, her heart leaping straight into her throat as she practically jumped out of her skin. fumbling in her pocket, she pulled out her phone. the caller id flashed with a familiar name: ms. jennifer (wife).

with a massive sigh of relief, she swiped the screen and brought the phone to her ear. "oh my god, jen. you scared the absolute life out of me."

"serves you right," jen’s voice cracked through the speaker, sharp and laced with immediate exasperation. "where are you right now? don't lie to me, yn. i just walked past your bedroom and it's completely empty. ness told me what you two are pulling."

"i just left the station," yn admitted, lowering her voice as she passed a dimly lit convenience store that had already closed its shutters. "look, can you just stay on the call with me until i hit the main street? it’s... a little more eerie than usual out here tonight."

on the other end of the line, jen let out a long, heavy sigh that vibrated with deep frustration. "i'm staying on the line, obviously. but i am seriously losing my mind with you. i already yelled at you about this two days ago! walking that route alone at two in the morning is incredibly stupid, yn."

"i'm walking fast, jen, i'm fine—"

"no, you're not fine! you're being stubborn," jen interrupted, her tone turning dead serious. "do you have any idea what jay would do if he found out you were doing this? especially after what happened last week? he literally fought a guy for just talking about you. if someone actually approached you in the dark because you wanted to 'get your steps in,' he would lose his absolute mind. you need to tell him, or i will."

yn swallowed hard, jen's words cutting through her defensive walls. she glanced over her shoulder, her eyes scanning the dimly lit sidewalk behind her. the streetlamps were spaced too far apart, leaving large patches of pitch blackness between them.

"i know, i know," yn whispered, picking up her pace until she was practically power walking. "i feel terrible about lying to him. i just didn't want him to worry. he’s been under so much stress at the office with his dad and his hand is still healing..."

"jay would rather drive you with two broken hands than have you walking alone past those abandoned warehouses," jen countered bluntly. "you're treating his protection like it's a burden, yn. it's not. he loves you. let him take care of you."

"i will. i promise, after tonight, i’ll tell him the truth," yn said, her eyes locked onto the glowing intersection a block away. that was the main street. once she reached it, she would be under bright municipal lights and within sight of the apartment complex's security cameras.

but just as she passed a narrow gap between two brick buildings, the distinct sound of a loose plastic bottle shuffling against the asphalt echoed from the shadows.

yn froze for a fraction of a second, her breath catching in her throat.

"yn? what's wrong? why did you stop walking?" jen’s voice suddenly sounded sharp and alert on the phone.

"nothing," yn whispered frantically, her adrenaline spiking as she forced her legs to move even faster. "i think i just heard something. i'm almost at the corner. just keep talking to me, jen. please."

"i'm right here. i'm not hanging up. just keep moving, don't look back and get your butt across that main street right now," jen ordered, her voice firm and grounding.

yn didn't dare look behind her. she kept her eyes glued to the bright lights ahead, her heart hammering against her ribs like a trapped bird. the eerie quiet of the sketchy neighborhood had never felt so menacing and for the first time all week, the crushing weight of her stubbornness hit her full force. jay hadn't been exaggerating and he definitely hadn't been trying to control her. he just knew how dangerous the dark could be.

breaking into a light jog, she finally burst through the shadow line and onto the well-lit pavement of the main avenue. the familiar, towering structure of their apartment building loomed just a hundred yards away, safe and secure.

"i'm on the main street," yn breathed out, her voice trembling slightly as she leaned against a lamppost for a brief second to catch her breath. "i see the building."

"good," jen sighed, the immense relief clear in her voice. "get upstairs right now and tomorrow morning, you are sitting down with jay and telling him the truth. because if you don't, i'm dragging him over to our apartment myself."

"yeah, yeah, i'm practically at the front lobby now. i'll see you in two minutes, mom," yn chuckled breathlessly into the receiver, trying to laugh off the lingering adrenaline as she slipped through the secure glass doors of their apartment building.

"don't 'mom' me, yn! i'm serious," jen snapped, though her tone softened with residual relief. "tomorrow. you talk to him."

"i will, i will."

yn hung up, leaning her head against the cool mirror of the elevator. but the next morning, when she saw jay standing in his kitchen, bathed in the warm morning light while making her a perfect iced americano, the confession died in her throat. he looked so peaceful. he looked so happy just to hand her the cup, pull her in by the waist and press a soft kiss to her forehead.

"have a good day at work, baby," he had murmured, his voice deep and raspy from sleep. "text me about lunch later."

she couldn't bring herself to ruin that peace. so, she "forgot." and then she forgot the next day. and the day after that.

for the next few days, yn pushed her luck to the absolute limit. the deadlines at her firm grew more demanding, pushing her exit times further and further into the dead of night. every single night, ness covered her ass, sending text messages to jay’s roommate, sunghoon, like ‘yn’s crashing early tonight, don’t let the guys make too much noise in the living room’ or ‘she’s already asleep jay, sorry.’

and poor, trusting, sweet jay bought her and ness’ words without a single shred of suspicion. he loved her blindly, trusted her entirely. every night, his responses to her brief, pre-written texts were filled with absolute devotion:

from seongie🐈‍⬛ sleep well, my girl i love you so much can’t wait to see your face tomorrow

reading them made a heavy, suffocating weight of guilt settle in yn's stomach. she hated lying to him. she felt terrible for taking advantage of his gentle, trusting nature. but as the days passed and she made it home safely each time, a false sense of security wrapped around her. ‘i’m doing fine,’ she reasoned with herself. ‘it’s just a few more days. no harm, no foul.’

until friday night.

it wasn't just late—it was touching 2:56 am. by the time the metallic screech of the last subway train echoed through the deserted station. yn practically dragged herself off the car. her feet were throbbing, a deep, agonising ache radiating from her soles up to her calves after a grueling 14 hour shift.

stepping out onto the street, the air was bitterly cold. she pulled her coat tightly around her shoulders and walked briskly, her eyes fixed on the pavement. she didn't even have the energy to hum tonight. all she wanted was to crawl into her bed and let her comforter warmth melt the exhaustion away.

she was exactly four minutes away from the safety of the well-lit main street when she heard it.

loud, slurred laughter. the harsh, metallic clink of glass bottles colliding.

yn’s breath caught instantly in her throat. her boots struck a sudden, silent halt against the concrete and she froze, her entire body locking up in sheer terror.

about fifty yards ahead, right under the dim, flickering light of a broken streetlamp, stood three men. they were swaying on their feet, passing a bottle between them, their voices loud and aggressive as they shouted nonsensical jokes into the empty night. they blocked the sidewalk entirely.

panic, cold and sharp, flooded her veins. ‘think, think, think,’ her mind screamed. she desperately scanned the dark perimeters, trying to remember if there was an alternate alleyway or a detour she could take. but this part of the industrial district was a grid of dead ends and locked chain-link fences. to go around meant walking ten minutes backward, back into the deep dark of the station.

her hands shook violently as she pulled out her phone. she speed-dialed ness.

ring... ring... ring...

"come on, ness, pick up, please," she whispered frantically, tears of frustration stinging her eyes.

“the subscriber you are trying to reach is currently unavailable—”

ness’ phone was dead or on 'do not disturb.' swearing under her breath, yn immediately tapped jen's contact.

thankfully, it didn't even ring twice before the line clicked open. but jen wasn't in a comforting mood. "yn, i swear to god, if you are calling me from the street right now, i am locking you out of the apartment. i am not entertaining this bullshit anymore. it is almost three in the morning and—"

"jen," yn cut her off, her voice barely a ragged, hyperventilating whisper.

the sharp, heavy sound of yn’s shallow breathing immediately caught jen’s attention. the irritation on the other end of the line vanished, replaced instantly by absolute alertness. "yn? what’s wrong? where are you?"

"jen... stay on the call with me. please. don't hang up," yn mumbled, her eyes wide as she watched one of the men ahead throw his empty bottle into the street, shattering it into a hundred pieces. "there are three men, up ahead and they're drunk. they're blocking the path to the main street."

"what?!" jen yelled, her voice echoing sharply through the phone. "oh my god, yn! i told you! turn around right now! walk back to the station, go inside where there are cameras and call jay! call him right now!"

"i can't go back, it's too far and it's dark," yn whispered, her voice trembling as she tightened her grip on her purse strap. she took a deep breath, trying to steady her shaking legs. "i'm just... i'm just going to walk past them. i'll pull my hood up, keep my head down, and walk as fast as i can. they might not even notice me."

"are you INSANE?! do not do that!" jen shouted, panic turning her voice screechy. "yn, listen to me, do not walk past three drunk men in a dark alley alone! turn around! yn! yn!"

but yn couldn't listen. the sheer desire to just be home, combined with the terrifying reality that she was trapped in the dark, forced her feet forward. she stepped out of the shadows and began walking toward the light, her heart hammering a frantic, deafening rhythm against her ribs.

"yn, listen to me, turn back! do not walk past them!" jen’s voice was a frantic, tinny screech against her ear, but the advice came too late. yn’s boots were already striking the pavement, the sharp clack-clack-clack of her heels echoing off the brick walls with terrifying clarity.

she pulled her hood over her head, tucked her chin into her collar and forced a mask of absolute confidence onto her face. ‘just keep moving,’ she told herself, her heart hammering a frantic rhythm. ‘look like you belong here. look like you aren't afraid.’

for three agonising seconds, it seemed like her gamble might actually pay off. she pulled level with the three men, keeping to the absolute edge of the sidewalk near the curb. the heavy, sour stench of cheap alcohol and stale cigarettes hit her nose, making her stomach twist. one man was leaning heavily against a rusted chain-link fence, while another muttered something slurred to his friend. they didn't look up.

yn passed them. one step. two steps. three steps.

the glowing, neon-lit intersection of the main street was right there, just 15 feet away. a massive wave of relief washed over her, so intense it made her dizzy. she opened her mouth, inhaling deeply to finally breathe out a sigh and tell jen that she was okay.

but the clack of her heel hit a loose piece of gravel.

"yo! hey! look at this!" a loud, rough voice suddenly shattered the silence behind her.

yn’s entire body stiffened, her blood turning to pure ice.

"well, well. where are you going all by yourself, sweetheart?" another voice chimed in, louder this time, followed by the heavy, scraping sound of boots turning around on the asphalt.

she didn't look back. she didn't dare. she just lengthened her stride, practically breaking into a frantic power walk despite the sharp ache in her toes.

"hey! we're talking to you! why you walking so fast?" the voices were getting louder, closer, the slurred confidence in their tones shifting into aggressive amusement.

"jen..." yn whispered into the phone, her voice cracking, completely stripped of its earlier bravado. "jen, they noticed me. they’re calling out."

"keep walking, yn! run!" jen screamed on the other end.

on the other side of the line, jen didn't waste another breath arguing. the sound of her flatmate's sheer panic was enough to send her into survival mode. throwing her own apartment door open, jen bolted out into the carpeted hallway of the complex. she didn't care about the neighbors or the hour; she sprinted the few feet to the boys' door and began thumping on the heavy wood with her fist, loud and frantic.

bang! bang! bang!

"open the door! jay! sunghoon! open the damn door right now!" jen shouted, her voice echoing violently through the quiet corridor.

inside, the apartment was dark. jay had been lying awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to shake a strange, unsettling restlessness that had been bugging him all night. hearing the violent pounding and jen’s frantic muffled screams, he threw his sheets off and bolted out of his room, crossing the living room just as sunghoon, clad in sweatpants and looking completely disoriented, unlocked the deadbolt.

the door swung open and jen practically burst inside, her face pale, her eyes wide with terror. she didn't look at sunghoon. her eyes locked instantly onto jay, who stood in the middle of the room, his brow furrowed in deep confusion.

"jen? what the hell is going on?" sunghoon croaked, rubbing his eyes.

jen didn't answer him. she lunged forward, thrusting her phone directly into jay’s hand. "take it! it's yn! she's in trouble!"

jay’s confusion vanished in a fraction of a second, replaced by a cold, sharp dread. he raised the phone to his ear, his voice dropping into a low register. "yn? what's going on?"

the sound of jay’s deep voice filtering through the speaker hit yn like a physical blow. her stomach dropped through the floor. the crushing weight of her lies, her stubbornness and the terrifying reality of her situation all crashed down on her at once. she had wanted so badly to hide this from him, to protect his peace, to avoid this exact conversation.

but as the heavy, hurried footsteps of the men grew distinctly closer behind her, the fear completely overrode her pride.

"jay!" yn sobbed openly, the tears finally spilling over her cheeks as she abandoned all pretense of walking. she broke into a full sprint, the uneven pavement making her ankles wobble dangerously in her heels. "seongie, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, i lied to you."

"yn, calm down. breathe. where are you?" jay’s voice was laced with a terrifying, quiet panic. he was already moving, grabbing a hoodie from the back of the couch with his uninjured hand, his eyes dark and wildly alert as sunghoon immediately grabbed his car keys from the counter, sensing the emergency.

"i'm on the back street—the one by the old warehouses near the subway!" yn cried out, her breath coming in ragged, painful gasps as she ran. "i've been working late all week... i didn't want you to worry... but there are three men, jay! they're drunk.. and they're chasing me. they're right behind me."

behind her, a loud, mocking laugh echoed. "hey, look at her run! don't run, girl. we just wanna talk!"

jay heard the distant, male voice through the phone speaker.

the shift in jay was instantaneous and terrifying. a dark, primal fury washed over his features, his jaw clenching so hard a muscle ticked violently. the gentle, trusting boyfriend vanished, replaced by the man who would tear the world apart to keep her safe. he didn't lecture her. he didn't ask why she lied. none of that mattered right now.

"yn, listen to my voice," jay ordered, his tone drop-dead serious, echoing with an authority that brooked no argument as he booted his shoes on without tying them. "do not stop running. do not look back. stay on the line, i am coming right now."

he shoved the door open, sprinting toward the elevator with sunghoon right at his heels.

the pavement felt endless, a dark and treacherous stretch of cracked concrete and loose gravel. yn’s lungs burned, each breath cutting like a knife in the freezing morning air. the neon glow of the main road was tantalizingly close, just a few dozen yards away but behind her, the heavy, scraping sound of the men's boots was closing the distance far too fast.

"hey, slow down, sweetheart. why you gotta be like that?" one of the men yelled, his voice horribly close now, dripping with slurred amusement.

panic blinded her. yn pushed her legs harder, her chest heaving as she sobbed into the receiver. "jay, they're getting closer! they're almost—"

snap.

a sharp, agonising crack echoed in her leg as her heel caught a deep crevice in the sidewalk. the world tilted violently. yn let out a piercing, agonised shriek that tore through the phone line, her body collapsing onto the cold pavement. the raw pain in her left ankle was instantaneous, radiating up to her knee like liquid fire.

"yn! yn, talk to me! what happened?!" jay’s voice exploded through the speaker, completely stripped of its composure. the sound of his girlfriend’s visceral scream sent a wave of sheer, unadulterated terror through him. he was trapped in the passenger seat of sunghoon’s sedan, his knuckles white as he gripped the dashboard, his heart hammering against his ribs.

"my ankle—" yn gasped, tears streaming down her face as she scrambled backward on her hands and knees, dragging her useless leg behind her. she forced herself back up, leaning heavily against the brick wall of an abandoned storefront. she tried to take a step, but the moment she put an ounce of pressure on her left foot, her knee buckled. "jay, i can't walk! it hurts so bad, i can't move!"

"baby, listen to me, please," jay begged, his voice cracking, thick with an agonising mixture of helplessness and fury. hearing her cry in pain, so vulnerable and terrified, was tearing his soul apart. "you're so close to the main road, right? just drag yourself there, crawl if you have to. just get to the light. i’m almost there, yn. hold on for me, please, i'm begging you."

"sunghoon, drive faster! step on the damn gas!" jay roared, turning to his friend, his eyes wild and dangerous.

"i'm flooring it, jay! hold on!" sunghoon yelled back, gripping the steering wheel as he whipped the car around a sharp corner, the tires screeching violently against the asphalt as they tore toward the warehouse district.

the three men had easily closed the gap, their shadows stretching out and surrounding her against the brick wall. she was trapped, four minutes away from safety, completely incapacitated.

"look at that, she fell," the tallest one chuckled, stepping forward into her personal space. the heavy, sickening stench of cheap liquor washed over her. "see? you should've just talked to us from the start."

"get away from me!" yn cried out, her voice trembling but fierce as she slapped his hand away. she held the phone tightly against her ear with her other hand, using it like a shield. "don't touch me! move away!"

"come on, don't be like that," the second man slurred, reaching out to grab her arm.

"i said don't touch me!" yn screamed, kicking out with her uninjured leg, her heel catching the man squarely in the shin. he cursed, stepping back, which only seemed to agitate the third one.

through the open phone line, jay could hear every single thing. he heard the men's disgusting, patronising tones. he heard the rustle of clothes, the sound of her desperately fighting them off, and her shaky, broken voice crying out into the dark.

"please, just move away... leave me alone..." she begged, her voice shrinking as the three men closed the perimeter, cutting off any remaining escape route.

"yn! i hear them. we're turning onto the avenue now!" jay yelled into the phone, his voice a low, terrifying growl. "don't let them touch you. i'm almost there."

a blinding pair of high-beams cut through the darkness of the lane.

sunghoon’s sedan veered sharply around the final corner where the alley met the main road. the bright, halogen headlights illuminated the entire scene like a stage play: the three men looming over a terrified, crying yn, who was pinned against the wall, clutching her ankle, her face pale and streaked with tears.

before the car had even come to a complete, shuddering halt, jay had the passenger door open.

he didn't just step out; he exploded out of the vehicle. the restraint, the corporate professionalism, the calm-headed guy his friends always relied on—all of it vanished, utterly incinerated by the sight of his girl cornered in the dark.

"get the fuck away from her!" jay’s voice boomed through the empty street, a sound so raw and menacing it made all three men snap their heads around in surprise.

yn looked up through her tear-blurred vision, the blinding headlights framing jay’s silhouette as he charged down the sidewalk toward them. a sob of pure, overwhelming relief escaped her lips.

the men didn't even have time to raise their hands or utter a slurred threat. jay reached the first man in a matter of seconds. blinded by a week's worth of built-up worry and tonight's absolute terror, jay grabbed the front of the man’s jacket with his uninjured left hand, using his entire body weight to violently slam him against the nearest metal dumpster. the heavy metal rattled with a deafening crash.

"hey! what the—" the second man started, stepping forward but sunghoon was already there, slamming his car door shut and stepping into the fray, his face grim and furious as he grabbed the second guy by the collar to keep him away from jay.

jay didn't care about the others. his eyes were locked on the third man, who was standing closest to yn. the man took a step back, suddenly realising they weren't dealing with an easy target anymore.

"if you ever look at her, if you ever even think about breathing in her, or any girl’s direction again," jay hissed, his voice dangerously quiet as he stepped between the man and yn, his chest heaving, his dark eyes burning with a promise of absolute destruction, "i will personally make sure you never walk again. get out of here before i lose whatever sanity i have left."

the sheer, terrifying intensity in jay’s posture was enough. the men, realising they were outmatched and dealing with someone who was ready to kill to protect the girl, stumbled backward. the first man scrambled up from the dumpster and the three of them quickly retreated into the shadows of the alley, their slurred bravado entirely gone.

the moment the threat vanished, the dark fury left jay’s eyes, replaced instantly by agonising concern. he dropped to his knees right in front of yn, his hands trembling as he reached out to her.

"yn... baby, look at me," he breathed, his voice cracking as he gently cupped her face, his thumb wiping away her tears. "i’m here, you’re safe. you’re okay, baby."

jay didn't waste another second. slipping one arm securely beneath her knees and the other behind her back, he lifted yn effortlessly into his arms. she let out a sharp, muffled wince, her fingers clutching frantically at the fabric of his hoodie as she buried her face into his neck, her tears dampening his skin.

he carried her carefully to the sedan, his jaw set in a hard, rigid line. sunghoon held the rear door open, his face etched with a mixture of anger and deep relief. jay slid into the backseat with her, keeping her gathered closely against his chest, refusing to let her go even for a second.

the moment sunghoon climbed into the driver's seat and threw the car into reverse, the suffocating silence inside the vehicle broke.

jay reached down, his fingers surprisingly gentle despite the rigid tension in his body, and carefully inspected her left ankle. even in the dim light of the moving car, the swelling was already visible, puffing up over the edge of her sock. the moment his thumb lightly brushed the side of her foot, yn hissed in pain, sobbing quietly against his neck.

something inside jay snapped.

the terrifying fear that had gripped him for the last twenty minutes suddenly curdled into pure, unadulterated rage. he looked up at her, his dark eyes freezing over.

"how long?" jay demanded, his voice dropping into a dangerously low, cold register that made yn shiver.

yn kept her face hidden against his shoulder, her shoulders shaking. "seongie, please..."

"i asked you a question, yn," jay interrupted, his tone completely devoid of its usual warmth. "how long have you been doing this? how long have you been walking home alone at fucking three in the morning?"

from the front seat, sunghoon glanced at the rearview mirror, his voice cautious. "jay, calm down. let's just get back to the apartment first. she's hurt."

"shut up, sunghoon," jay fired back, not taking his eyes off her. he gripped her waist a little tighter, his voice cutting through the quiet car like a knife. "look at me and tell me the truth. every single night this week, when ness said you were already asleep in your room... where were you?"

yn finally looked up, her eyes red, swollen and swimming with fresh tears. the anger in his face was terrifying, but it was the deep, underlying hurt in his eyes that made her heart ache.

"the whole week," she confessed in a broken whisper, a fresh sob escaping her lips. "every night this week. i was working late... i didn't want you to worry, seongie. i didn't want to bother you or sunghoon after your long shifts. ness was covering for me. i... i lied to you."

the admission hit jay like a physical blow to the chest. he stared at her, the cold rage instantly fracturing to reveal a profound, crushing heartbreak. he had trusted her blindly. every night, he had fallen asleep believing she was safe in her bed, sending her sweet messages, completely oblivious to the fact that she was walking through the darkest, most dangerous corners of the neighborhood alone. she had treated his protection like an inconvenience, keeping him in the dark while putting herself in harm's way.

jay didn't say another word. he closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the seat, completely shutting down. the silence that followed was heavy and agonising. he kept his arm around her so she wouldn't jostle as sunghoon sped through the streets, but the warmth was gone. he was entirely checked out.

when the sedan finally jerked to a halt in the parking lot, jay moved like a machine. he swung the door open, lifted her back into his arms and carried her out of the elevator and down the hallway.

inside the boys' apartment, the front door was wide open. the lights were blazing, and the atmosphere was thick with anxiety. jen was pacing back and forth near the kitchen island, her face pale, while jungwon and sunoo sat on the edge of the couch, looking wide-eyed and terrified. jen had caught them up to speed when their two flatmates barged out of the house.

the moment the front door clicked, all three of them scrambled to their feet.

"YN!" jen gasped, rushing forward the second she saw jay step into the living room.

jay didn't look at jen. his expression was completely blank, his face an unreadable mask of stone. he walked right past her, his heavy steps echoing in the quiet room as he carried yn over to the main couch. he lowered her down onto the soft cushions with meticulous care, making sure her swollen ankle was elevated on an armrest, before stepping back.

jen immediately threw her arms around yn’s shoulders, holding her tight as yn buried her face in her best friend's shoulder, weeping softly from the lingering shock and the throbbing pain.

"oh my god, thank you," jen breathed out, looking up at jay with immense gratitude, her voice shaking. "jay, thank you so much for getting to her. i am so sorry, i should have told you sooner, i—"

jay didn't let her finish. he didn't acknowledge the thank you, nor did he look at jungwon or sunoo, who were watching him with hesitant, worried expressions.

"i'm getting the sprain gel," jay said flatly, his voice empty of any emotion.

without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and walked down the hallway toward the bathroom, his broad shoulders tense, leaving the living room in a stunned, uncomfortable silence.

he didn’t look at anyone when he walked back into the room with the first-aid kit and a tube of cooling sprain gel. kneeling on the floor by the edge of the couch, he gently lifted her swollen ankle, placing it onto his lap. his movements were incredibly precise and careful—he didn't want to cause her any more pain than she was already in—but there was a mechanical, detached coldness to his touch that made yn’s heart twist painfully.

he squeezed a dollop of the gel onto his fingers and began applying it to the bruised skin. the silence stretching between them was agonising.

without looking up from his task, jay finally spoke, his voice low and devoid of any warmth. "did you know?"

the question wasn't directed at yn. he was looking straight down, his eyes fixed entirely on her injured foot.

jen, who was sitting on the edge of the coffee table, swallowed hard. she felt a chill run down her spine at the sheer emptiness in jay’s tone. "jay... i found out a couple of days ago. i yelled at her, i swear. i told her she was being reckless and i told her to tell you tonight, otherwise i was going to—"

"but you didn't tell me," jay cut her off softly. he didn't raise his voice, didn't sound angry anymore. he just sounded incredibly, profoundly tired. "you knew she was out there in the dark, and you let her keep doing it."

"jay, i'm sorry," jen whispered, her eyes shining with genuine guilt. "i should have called you the second i found out. i shouldn't have let her convince me."

jay didn't reply. he didn't yell, he didn't argue, he didn't even sigh. he simply opened a roll of compression bandage, wrapped her ankle with expert precision, and fastened the clips. when he was entirely finished, he stood up, his tall frame casting a long shadow over the couch.

"seongie..." yn reached out, her fingers brushing the hem of his hoodie, her voice cracking as a fresh wave of tears spilled over her cheeks. "please. talk to me. yell at me, do something. don't just ignore me."

jay didn't look back. he didn't even pause. he gently pulled his hoodie out of her grasp and walked down the hallway, the sharp click of his bedroom door closing behind him echoing like a gunshot through the quiet apartment.

the moment the door shut, yn felt as though the air had been violently sucked out of her lungs. her chest caved in, a sob tearing through her throat as she buried her face in her hands, her whole body shaking violently.

jen immediately moved to the couch, pulling yn into a tight, fierce hug. "oh, hon, i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry."

jungwon and sunoo, who had been sitting quietly on the opposite couch, exchanged worried glances before stepping closer. sunghoon knelt down near her good foot, his expression soft and comforting.

"yn, hey, listen to me," sunghoon said gently, waiting until she peeked through her tear-stained fingers. "he's just really scared. you have to understand, he was a complete mess when jen came thumping on the door. i've never seen jay look that terrified in my life. he's just processing everything."

"he's right," sunoo chimed in, leaning over the back of the couch with a sympathetic frown. "jay loves you more than anything. he's furious because he cares. he's just mad that you put yourself in danger and that he wasn't there to protect you from the start. give him a little time to cool down."

"no, you don't understand," yn wept, her voice muffled against jen's shoulder. she shook her head frantically, a dark, suffocating realisation settling deep in her gut. "it's not just that he's mad. i broke his trust."

jen pulled back slightly, wiping a tear from yn's cheek. "what do you mean?"

"you know how jay is," yn whispered, her voice trembling as she stared blankly at the dark hallway where his room was. "when we first started dating... we had this long talk. he told me the one thing he absolutely cannot tolerate is dishonesty. he made it so clear. he said he doesn't do a relationship without absolute trust and love. he told me that once trust is gone, there's nothing left to build on."

she let out a broken, ragged breath, fresh tears blurring her vision. "and i lied to him. for an entire week, i let him think i was safe. i made ness lie to him. every time he sent me a sweet text telling me he loved me and hoped i was sleeping well, i was hiding the truth from him. i broke his trust big time, jen. what if... what if he breaks up with me?"

the boys fell silent, the gravity of her words sinking in. they knew jay better than anyone. they knew that beneath his fiercely protective, caring exterior, he was a man of strict principles. he gave his heart completely but he expected total honesty in return.

jen squeezed her hand tightly, unable to offer a reassurance that didn't feel hollow. "just rest for tonight, yn. you're both exhausted and in shock. we'll figure it out tomorrow, okay?"

the transition from the boys' apartment back to her own was a blur of physical pain and emotional exhaustion. with sunghoon supporting her left side and jen holding her steady on the right, yn hopped painfully across the carpeted hallway. every slight bounce sent a sharp, throbbing reminder of her recklessness straight up her leg, but she barely felt it. her mind was entirely trapped in the room across the hall, locked behind a closed door.

they carefully guided her into her bedroom, easing her onto the edge of the mattress.

"thanks, sunghoon," yn whispered, her voice incredibly small, hoarse from crying. she looked up at him with pleading, bloodshot eyes, her fingers nervously twisting the fabric of her blanket. "please... can you just check on him? when you go back? just let me know if he’s okay. if he's even sleeping."

sunghoon let out a long, heavy sigh, his expression a mix of lingering frustration and deep sympathy. he rubbed the back of his neck. "i’ll check on him, yn. but honestly? don't expect much tonight. i’ve known jay since high school and i've rarely seen him shut down like this. he just needs time. focus on resting your foot, okay?"

once sunghoon slipped out, jen quietly helped her change into a pair of loose sweatpants, careful not to jostle the tightly wrapped bandage on her ankle. jen tucked her under the covers, pressing a gentle hand to her forehead.

"try to sleep, okay? i'm right next door if you need anything," jen murmured softly, turning off the main light.

but sleep never came. for the remainder of the night, yn stared at the ceiling, watching the shadows shift as the minutes ticked painfully away. every time she closed her eyes, she either saw the terrifying silhouettes of the three men closing in on her, or the cold, empty look in jay's eyes as he walked away. she didn't know which memory terrified her more.

the next morning, the physical throbbing in her ankle had subsided into a dull, manageable ache, but the anxiety in her chest had multiplied tenfold. unable to sit still any longer, yn threw off her covers. she refused the crutches jen had left by her bed, choosing instead to lean heavily against the walls, limping her way out of her apartment and across the hall.

when she pushed open the boys' front door, the apartment was uncharacteristically quiet. the morning sun streamed through the large windows, illuminating the kitchen where the boys were gathered around the island. jungwon was pouring juice, sunoo was scrolling on his phone and sunghoon was leaning against the counter.

jay was there, too. he was sitting on a barstool, dressed in his crisp work clothes, staring silently down at a plate of half-eaten food. the dark circles under his eyes made it clear he hadn't slept a wink either.

the moment the soft thud of her limping footsteps echoed into the room, the atmosphere instantly froze.

jungwon and sunoo looked up, their eyes widening with an uncomfortable, anxious tension. without a word, as if sensing the invisible wall of lightning about to strike, the three boys quietly shuffled out of the kitchen. sunghoon gave yn a tight, warning look that silently said tread lightly, before leading the younger boys down the hallway, leaving the two of them entirely alone.

yn swallowed the lump in her throat, taking a fragile step closer to the island, gripping the edge of the counter to take the weight off her bad foot.

"good morning," she whispered softly, her voice trembling.

jay didn't look up. he didn't even flinch. his hand gripped his fork a little tighter, his jaw clenching as he deliberately took another bite of his food, treating her presence as if she were nothing more than a ghost.

"seongie... please," yn begged, her heart shattering at the absolute ice radiating from him. "can we talk? just for a few minutes. please look at me."

jay didn't say a word. he methodically finished the last bite on his plate, set his fork down with a loud, deliberate sound and stood up. he picked up his plate and turned toward the sink, completely bypassing her as if she weren't even standing there bleeding her heart out.

desperation flared through her. forgetting the pain in her ankle, yn lunged forward and grabbed his right wrist—his uninjured hand. her fingers gripped him tightly, her touch warm against his skin, begging for any sign of the man who had held her so fiercely the night before.

"jay, please! don't do this to me," she cried out, the tears she had been holding back all morning finally spilling over her cheeks. "yell at me! tell me i was stupid, tell me i ruined everything, but please don't just walk away from me again. i can't handle the silence. we need to talk about this."

jay froze. for a long, painful second, he just stood there, his back turned to her, his chest heaving under his ironed dress shirt.

slowly, deliberately, he turned around.

when his eyes finally met hers, yn’s breath caught in her throat. there was no anger in his face. there was no fiery fury like the night he fought for her. there was only a profound, hollow exhaustion and a deep, crushing sorrow. he looked at her hand gripping his wrist and then looked up into her tear-stained face.

he didn't pull away, but his voice, when he finally spoke, was a low, chilling whisper that cut deeper than any shout ever could.

"do you honestly think there is anything left to talk about, yn?"

"seongie, i—"

"no, listen to me," jay interrupted, his voice cracking slightly, the raw hurt finally bleeding through his stoic mask. "for a whole week, i went to bed thinking you were safe. i sat in this exact kitchen, typing out messages telling you how much i loved you, how much i wanted you to rest well. and the entire time, you were walking through the dark alone, putting yourself in danger and making everyone around me lie straight to my face."

he gently, but firmly, pried her fingers off his wrist, stepping back to create a physical distance between them that felt miles wide.

"you know exactly who i am, yn. i told you from day one that i don't know how to love halfway, and i don't know how to be in a relationship where i can't trust the person i'm coming home to," jay said, his dark eyes shimmering with unshed tears as he looked at her bandaged foot, then back at her face. "you didn't just break a rule, and you didn't just make a mistake. you broke my trust. big time. so tell me... when the foundation of everything we built is cracked, what exactly do you want us to talk about?"

the words hung in the sterile, morning air of the kitchen, heavy and suffocating. jay stood just a few feet away, but to yn, the distance felt like a yawning chasm. his words ‘what exactly do you want us to talk about?’ sliced through her defenses, leaving a raw, bleeding ache in her chest.

her heart didn't just drop; it felt as though it were physically breaking, fracturing under the weight of his hollow gaze. her hands, completely empty now that he had pried them from his wrist, trembled violently at her sides. she gripped the edge of the marble countertop just to keep her balance, her knuckles turning white as her injured ankle throbbed in protest. but the physical pain was a distant noise compared to the absolute terror seizing her soul.

she looked up at him, her vision completely blurred by a fresh cascade of tears, her lips shaking as she forced herself to give voice to the one question she had been running from since the moment he locked his bedroom door the night before.

"what... what do you mean by that, jay?" she whispered, her voice cracking so violently it was barely audible. she took a tiny, aching step forward, swallowing the sob rising in her throat. "please, don't say it like that. you're speaking like... like we're already over. are you—are you breaking up with me?"

jay didn't answer immediately. he closed his eyes, his head dropping slightly as he let out a long, ragged breath through his nose. the question seemed to physically weigh on his broad shoulders. when he opened his eyes again, the profound sorrow in them was devastating.

"i mean exactly what i said, yn," jay replied, his voice terrifyingly quiet, devoid of the passionate fire she was so used to. "i don't know how to navigate this. i don't know how to look at you right now and not feel a complete, overwhelming wave of fear and betrayal."

"it was just to protect your peace!" she cried out, the defense bursting from her lips in a desperate, frantic rush. she reached out again, her hands hovering in the space between them, terrified to touch him but desperate to close the distance. "i swear to you, seongie, it wasn't because i didn't care about your rules or your trust! i saw how stressed you were with work. i saw how much pressure your dad was putting on you at the office, and your hand was still broken and bruised from the party! i felt so guilty. i felt like a burden. i just thought... if i could just get home quietly, if i could just manage it on my own for a few days, you wouldn't have to carry my weight too."

"your weight?" jay echoed, a sudden, sharp spike of emotion breaking through his icy exterior. he stepped forward, his eyes locking onto hers with a sudden, fierce intensity that made her gasp. "you think your safety is a burden to me, yn? is that really what you think of me?"

"no, i didn't mean it like—"

"for three years, i have built my entire life around making sure you are taken care of," jay interrupted, his voice finally rising, cracking with the sheer volume of his suppressed hurt. "every late night i work, every meeting i sit through with my dad, every single choice i make is so i can build a future for us. i don't care about a long drive. i don't care about losing an hour of sleep. i would have crawled on my hands and knees to that station to pick you up if you had just asked!"

he gestured vaguely toward the hallway, toward the reality of the lies that had spun out of control. "but instead of trusting me to be your man, you chose to keep me in the dark. you actively constructed a lie. you had ness text me every single night telling me you were safe in bed. do you have any idea what that feels like? to look back at this whole week and realise that while i was falling asleep feeling happy because i thought you were warm and safe, you were actually out there, running for your life in the dark?"

yn covered her mouth with both hands, her shoulders shaking violently as a choked, agonising sob escaped her. "i'm sorry... i'm so sorry, jay..."

"when i heard you scream over that phone line last night," jay continued, his voice dropping back down into a raw, trembling whisper, his own eyes finally glistening with unshed tears, "my heart stopped. i have never felt fear like that in my entire life. i thought i was going to lose you. and the worst part? the absolutely crushing part, yn? it wouldn't have been because of a freak accident. it would have been because you chose to lie to me."

he stepped back again, the momentary flare of anger dying out, leaving him looking completely defeated. he adjusted the cuff of his dress shirt, the mechanical movement a stark contrast to the emotional wreckage in the room.

"you broke the one thing i told you i could never afford to lose," jay said softly, looking away from her because looking at her tear-stained face was tearing him apart. "you took my trust, and you threw it away for a week's worth of convenience. so when you ask me what i mean... i mean that i don't know how i'm supposed to look at you and believe a single word that comes out of your mouth tomorrow. and without that, i honestly don't know what we have left."

the silence that followed his words was suffocating, but instead of crushing yn, it ignited something raw and desperate inside her. the sheer terror of losing him cracked wide open, pulling up a deeply buried truth she had never fully admitted to herself, let alone to him.

"you want to know what we have left? then listen to me, jay!" yn shouted, her voice breaking violently as she let go of the counter. she stood entirely on her own two feet, ignoring the blinding flash of pain in her ankle because her chest was practically combusting.

jay froze, his broad shoulders tensing as he slowly turned his head to look at her.

"i told you i didn't want to burden you and that’s true, but it’s so much deeper than that," she cried, her hands trembling as she gestured wildly between them. "i hid it because i felt so fucking useless, jay! every single time i have to lean into you for the stupidest, most basic things—like just getting from work to my own apartment—a part of me feels completely pathetic. i knew i could call you. i knew you would drop everything and drive over with a smile on your face. but that’s exactly the problem!"

jay’s brow furrowed, his eyes darkening. "how is me, wanting to keep you safe, a problem, yn?"

"because i have spent my entire life trying to be independent!" she yelled back, tears streaming hot and fast down her face. "before i moved here, before i met you, i had to figure things out on my own. i had to be strong. but with you... i know you’re always there. i know you love me. but you also unknowingly treat me like a child, jay! you protect me so much that it feels like you're wrapping me in bubble wrap, and i just... i needed to know that i could still do something by myself. i needed to know i could handle my own life, even if it was just something as stupid as walking home alone at three in the morning."

"are you serious right now?" jay asked, his voice dropping into an incredulous, dangerous whisper. he took a step toward her, his face twisting in absolute disbelief. "you risked your life, you let three drunk men corner you in a dark alley, just to prove a point about your independence?"

"i know how stupid it sounds!" she sobbed, burying her face in her hands for a brief second before pulling them away, looking at him with fierce, raw vulnerability. "i know it was reckless! but i was just so sick of feeling like i couldn't survive without you. if i wasn't dating you right now, jay, i wouldn't have a boyfriend with a car to text. i wouldn't have anyone to call. i would have to walk that route by myself anyway. i would have to face those dark streets alone. so what is the difference? why does me dating you mean i suddenly have to give up all my agency and act like i can't walk down a street without a chaperone?"

the words echoed violently against the kitchen tiles. yn was panting, her chest heaving as she let out the bitter resentment and insecurity she had kept bottled up for months.

jay stared at her, the shock on his face slowly hardening into a cold, profound realisation. the anger in his eyes didn't flare up; instead, it dimmed into something much worse—an absolute, heartbreaking detachment.

"what's the difference?" jay repeated her words, his voice so quiet, so deadly calm, it made the hairs on her arms stand up. he let out a bitter, breathless laugh that didn't reach his eyes. "you're asking me what the difference is?"

he walked up to her, stopping a mere inches away, towering over her. but there was no warmth, no protective instinct in his posture now. just a cold, hard wall.

"the difference, yn, is that those other girls walking alone don't have a man at home whose entire world revolves around them," jay said, his voice trembling with a terrifying restraint. "the difference is that if something happens to a stranger on the street, it's a tragedy. but if something happens to you, my entire life is over. that is the fucking difference."

he leaned down slightly, his dark eyes boring into hers, piercing right through her defenses.

"you think i treat you like a child because i want to pick you up from a sketchy train station? that’s not me treating you like a child, that’s me loving you. that’s me doing what a man is supposed to do for the woman he intends to marry," he whispered, the word marry landing like a heavy, painful anchor between them. "but you want to talk about agency? you want to talk about what you would do if you were single? fine. if being with me makes you feel that suffocated, if my protection makes you feel 'useless,' then maybe you shouldn't be dating me."

yn’s breath hitched, her heart stopping completely. "jay, no, that’s not what i—"

"no, you made yourself very clear," jay interrupted, his voice completely flat as he stepped back, cutting off the space between them once again. he grabbed his car keys and his wallet from the counter, his movements completely steady now, a chilling contrast to the emotional wreck she was. "you wanted to know what it felt like to handle things on your own. you wanted to know what it was like to not have to worry about my trust or my rules or my care. congratulations. you get to figure it out."

he didn't look at her tears. he didn't look at her bandaged foot. he walked right past her, his heavy steps echoing through the living room.

"jay! wait, please!" she cried, turning around to follow him, but her ankle buckled immediately, forcing her to grab the back of a barstool to keep from crashing to the floor.

the violent, echoing thud of the front door closing seemed to reverberate through the very walls of the apartment, leaving behind a silence so absolute it felt heavy enough to suffocate.

yn stood frozen, her fingers gripping the fabric of the barstool so tightly her knuckles were stark white. her breath hitched in her throat, her chest heaving as she stared at the empty space where jay had stood just seconds ago.

for a moment, she tried to force her body to move. she wanted to throw the door open, to sprint down the hallway, to catch the elevator doors before they closed. she wanted to scream his name until her lungs burned, to tell him that she didn't want a life without his protection, that she was sorry, so incredibly sorry.

but the moment she shifted her weight, a white-hot flash of agony shot up from her left ankle, completely blinding her. her knee gave out instantly. the world tilted and a sharp, ragged gasp left her lips as she began to fall toward the hard kitchen tiles.

before she could hit the ground, multiple pairs of hands caught her.

"whoa, whoa—i got you, yn. hold on," sunghoon’s voice cut through the fog of her panic, his strong arms hooking under her armpits to bear her weight.

jungwon was right there on her other side, his hands steady against her waist, his sweet face etched with profound worry. together, they carefully guided her onto one of the padded kitchen chairs before her legs could give out entirely. sunoo quickly pulled up another chair, gently lifting her bandaged leg to rest on it, his cheek puffed slightly as he looked at her tear-streaked face.

the boys had heard everything. the apartment walls were thick but the sheer, raw volume of their desperation and heartbreak had carried straight down the hallway. they had stood in the quiet of the back rooms, chests aching, feeling entirely helpless as they listened to the foundation of their best friend's relationship fracture into pieces. they knew they had no right to step into a private argument but hearing jay's voice break—hearing him speak with a cold, hollow detachment they had never heard from him before—had deeply shaken them. they knew exactly what jay’s words meant. jay didn't make empty threats. when he shut down, he shut down completely.

"hey, look at me. breathe, okay? just try to breathe," jungwon murmured softly, kneeling beside her chair and gently rubbing her trembling shoulder.

but yn couldn't breathe. the physical ache in her leg was entirely eclipsed by the crushing, hollow emptiness expanding in her chest. the energy drained out of her body all at once, leaving her completely hollowed out and weak. she slumped forward, her forehead resting against jungwon's shoulder as a broken, choked sob finally tore out of her throat.

once the dam broke, there was no stopping it. yn wept with a violent, agonizing intensity that shook her entire frame. she cried for the terrifying fear of the previous night, for the exhaustion of the grueling week, but most of all, she cried for the immense, catastrophic loss of the man she loved.

sunghoon stepped closer, his heavy hand resting on the back of her head, pulling her into a protective, brotherly embrace as she sat there, broken on their kitchen floor.

"i didn't mean it like that, sunghoon," she choked out between ragged, gasping breaths, her fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt. "i don't want to be without him. i don't want to figure it out alone. i just... i was so stupid. why did i say those things to him?"

"shh, i know. we know," sunghoon said softly, his voice thick with emotion. he exchanged a grim, heavy look with jungwon over her head. "you were scared and you were defensive. we get it, yn."

"he's never looked at me like that before," she sobbed, her voice cracking as a dull, pounding migraine began to throb behind her temples from the hours of crying. "his eyes... they were so cold. do you think he's really done? is he really going to leave me?"

sunoo sat on the floor near her feet, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he reached up to squeeze her hand. "jay is just hurt right now, yn. he's incredibly hurt. when he loves, he gives one hundred percent of himself. so when he feels like that love isn't trusted, it breaks him. he just needs to breathe."

"but he said... he said i threw his trust away," she whispered, her head aching so violently she had to squeeze her eyes shut, leaning heavily into sunghoon's chest. "and i did. i lied to him every single day. i made him feel like a fool for caring about me."

"you made a mistake," jungwon said firmly, his voice grounding as he looked up at her. "a really big one, yeah. but jay doesn't stop loving someone overnight. he drove like a maniac to get to you last night, yn. he fought for you. right now, he's just angry and suffocated by the fear of what almost happened to you. let him walk it off."

the day dragged on like a slow, agonizing torture. back in her own apartment, yn sat on the edge of her bed, her phone glued to her palm. every ten minutes, she would type out a message, delete it, rewrite it, and finally send it with trembling fingers.

to seongie🐈‍⬛ seongie please call me baby please i’m so sorry i didn’t mean any of it i don’t feel suffocated by you i was just scared and stupid please just let me see you even if you’re mad, just let me see you

each message suffered the exact same fate. a few minutes would pass, the status would change to read, and then... nothing. just a cold, crushing silence. he was seeing them. he was reading her desperate pleas but he wasn't answering.

by the time the sun began to set, casting long, melancholy orange shadows across the hallway of their floor, yn couldn't take it anymore. ignoring the strict instructions from jen and ness to keep off her feet, she limped out of her apartment.

she stood in the carpeted corridor, leaning her back against the wall directly outside the boys' apartment door. her left ankle was throbbing aggressively, a dull, hot pain radiating up her leg from standing for so long, but she didn't care. she refused to sit down. she needed to be the very first thing he saw when he finally came back. she needed him to know she wasn’t running away from the mess she had made.

it was past 8:00 pm. when the quiet chime of the elevator echoed through the hallway.

the doors slid open and jay stepped out. he looked completely exhausted. his hair was slightly messy, his tie was loosened around his collar and his jacket was slung loosely over his shoulder. the moment his eyes landed on her slumped against the wall, a sharp flicker of frustration and worry crossed his face, breaking his stoic mask for a split second.

he strode over, stopping a few feet away, looking down at her wrapped ankle. "what on earth are you doing?" jay demanded, his voice rough and laced with tired irritation. "why are you standing out here on that foot? did you completely lose your mind?"

yn ignored his question entirely. the moment she saw his face, the dam broke all over again. she took a fragile, stumbling step toward him, her hands reaching out to clutch the fabric of his shirt.

"i'm sorry," she sobbed, the tears instantly blurring her vision. "jay, i'm so, so sorry. i wasn't thinking when i spoke to you earlier. i was just defensive and i said the most horrible, stupid things. i don't want to be single, jay. i don't feel suffocated by you. i love your protection. i love that you care about me. please don't look at me like i'm a stranger."

jay looked down at her hands on his chest, his jaw clenching tightly. he let out a heavy breath, his voice dropping into a flat, rigid tone. "i am not doing this out here. i am not having this conversation in the hallway for the whole building to hear, go inside."

"NO!" yn cried out stubbornly, tightening her grip on his shirt, her head shaking frantically. "i’m not going into the house."

jay’s brow furrowed in annoyance. "yn, stop being ridiculous. go inside and sit down."

"no, because if i go inside, you’re just going to walk away from me again!" she yelled softly, her voice thick with panic. "you'll lock yourself in your room or you'll leave the apartment and you won't look at me. i'm staying right here until you talk to me."

jay stared at her, a profound, weary sigh escaping his lips. he looked at her pale face, her red-rimmed eyes and the way her left leg was visibly shaking from bearing her weight for too long. despite the deep fracture in his trust, the sight of her in pain was still something his body physically couldn't tolerate.

without another word, jay slung his jacket onto his shoulder, stepped forward and swept her off her feet.

yn let out a small gasp, her arms instinctively flying around his neck. even now, in the middle of their worst fight, his arms were strong, secure and completely unyielding. he kicked the front door open with his boot, carried her into the living room and bypassed the boys—who were sitting silently at the kitchen island, watching with bated breath.

jay walked straight to the long couch, carefully lowering her onto the cushions. he reached over, grabbed a throw pillow and placed it beneath her swollen ankle to elevate it, his movements fast and entirely mechanical.

the moment he finished, he straightened his spine, turning on his heel to walk toward the hallway that led to his bedroom. he was shutting down again.

"jay! no, wait please!"

yn lunged forward from the couch, completely disregarding the sharp stab of pain in her leg. she reached out, her fingers catching his right hand just as he was about to step away. she gripped his fingers, squeezing them with every ounce of strength she had left, her tears falling fast onto the fabric of the sofa.

jay froze in his tracks. he didn't pull his hand away but he didn't squeeze back either. his hand felt heavy, still, and completely cold in her grasp. he stood with his back to her, his head tilted downward.

"please, seongie, i'm begging you," she cried, her voice cracking into a broken, desperate whisper that echoed rawly through the quiet living room. "look at me. just look at me for one second. don't go into your room."

"yn, let go," jay said softly, his voice dangerously calm, though his shoulders trembled slightly.

"i won't. i can't," she sobbed, pulling his hand closer to her chest, trying to ground him to her. "i know i broke your trust. i know i was reckless and that i lied to you for a week. it was the worst thing i've ever done and i hate myself for making you feel like your love was a burden. but please don't give up on us. tell me how to fix it. tell me what to do to make you trust me again. i'll do anything. i'll call you every hour, i'll quit the late shifts, i'll do whatever you want. just don't leave me."

a heavy, suffocating silence descended on the room. in the kitchen, sunghoon, jungwon and sunoo sat completely frozen, their hearts breaking for the sheer desperation in yn's voice.

slowly, jay turned around.

when he looked down at her, the sheer amount of unshed tears in his dark eyes made her heart stop. his face wasn't angry; it was entirely shattered.

"you think this is about me wanting to control your schedule?" jay asked, his voice cracking, a single tear finally escaping and tracing a path down his sharp cheekbone. "you think i want you to call me every hour to prove something to me?"

"no, i just—"

"i don't want a puppet, yn," jay whispered, his voice trembling with a profound, raw ache. "i wanted a partner. i wanted the girl who looked me in the eye three years ago and promised we would face everything together. i don't want you to change your life because i'm forcing you to. i wanted you to want to protect our peace just as much as i do."

he slowly knelt down on one knee in front of the couch, bringing himself to her eye level, though he gently, agonizingly loosened her grip on his fingers until he was just holding her wrist.

"you told me this morning that if you were single, you'd have to walk that dark road alone anyway. you asked me what the difference was," jay said, his voice dropping into a hollow, broken whisper. "and that's what's killing me, baby. because it means that even after three years of me giving you every single piece of my heart... in your mind, you are still completely alone. you haven't actually let me in."

the raw honesty of his words seemed to strip away the very last of her defenses. yn stared at him through a heavy veil of tears, watching the single drop trace the sharp line of his jaw. hearing him say that she hadn't let him in—that in her mind, she was still completely alone—felt like a mirror being forced in front of her face. it was a terrifyingly accurate reflection of a flaw she had buried so deep, she hadn't even realised it was poisoning the very thing she cherished most.

she didn't try to pull her hand back. instead, her fingers trembled against his wrist, her grip softening into something entirely exposed and fragile.

"i don't know how to do that, seongie," she admitted softly, her voice barely a breathy whisper that seemed to falter in the space between them.

jay’s brow furrowed slightly, his eyes searching hers, looking for the meaning behind the sudden shift in her tone. the anger in the room had completely dissolved, leaving behind a heavy, tragic vulnerability.

"what do you mean you don't know how?" jay asked, his voice rough and quiet.

"i don't know how to let someone all the way in," yn sobbed quietly, a fresh wave of tears spilling over her cheeks. she lowered her head, unable to maintain eye contact with the sheer amount of love and hurt in his gaze. "you are the center of my world, jay. you have been since the moment we fell in love. but... i don't know how to help myself. i don't know how to exist in a space where i’m allowed to just have problems and expect someone to stay."

she swallowed hard, her chest heaving as the truth finally poured out of her, unedited and ugly.

"every single choice i made this week—every lie i told, every time i made ness cover for me—it was because i only thought about you," she cried, looking back up at him, her eyes pleading for him to understand the warped logic of her fear. "i thought about how hard you work. i thought about the pressure from your dad. and i thought... if i tell him i'm stuck at the office until two in the morning, he’s going to get in his car. he’s going to tire himself out. he’s going to burden himself with my stupid schedule."

"yn..."

"no, let me finish, please," she begged, her grip tightening on his wrist. "i was terrified, jay. i am always terrified of giving you a reason to realise that i have too many problems. that my life is too messy. that caring for me takes too much out of you. i can barely live with myself most days. i look at all my anxieties, my stress, my exhausting hours and i don't even know how i'm supposed to handle it. i don't know how you do it, either, but you do. you do it effortlessly and you love me through all of it."

she let out a broken, ragged breath, her shoulders shaking violently as she laid her entire soul bare at his feet.

"i was just so scared of ruining what we have," she whispered, her voice cracking into a devastating, raw confession. "i thought that if i brought too much of my mess into your life, you’d wake up one day and realise i’m not worth the hassle. so i did everything i could to protect your peace. i handled the dark streets, i handled the late hours, i handled the fear—because in my mind, if i suffered quietly, you got to stay happy. i didn't realise that by trying to save you from my mess, i was breaking the one thing that kept us together."

jay didn't move. he remained on one knee in front of the couch, his dark eyes fixed entirely on her face. the words she had just spoken seemed to echo through him, systematically dismantling the cold, detached wall he had spent the last twenty-four hours building against her.

he had been looking at her actions through the lens of betrayal, thinking she didn't value his protection or his trust. but hearing her admit that she felt so fundamentally unlovable—that she was treating her own safety as a currency to buy his peace—made his heart ache with a completely different kind of pain.

slowly, the tension left his shoulders. the rigid, stone-cold posture evaporated. jay let out a long, shaky breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob and before yn could say another word, he closed the remaining inches between them.

he didn't just hold her hand; he reached up, his large, warm palms cupping her face entirely, his thumbs wiping the hot tears from her cheeks with a desperate, fiercely tender intensity.

"you absolute idiot," jay breathed out, his voice cracking violently as his own tears finally broke free, blurring his vision. he leaned forward, pressing his forehead firmly against hers, his breath hitching. "you stupid, beautiful, absolute idiot."

"seongie..."

"how many times do i have to tell you?" jay whispered fiercely, his grip on her face tightening just enough to ground her. "i don't love you because you're perfect, yn. i don't love you because your life is neat and convenient. i love you. the mess, the late hours, the anxieties—all of it. i took on your weight the day i asked you to be mine and i have never once thought it was too heavy."

he pulled back just enough to force her to look into his eyes, his gaze burning with a raw, undeniable truth.

"do you really think my peace comes from you suffering in the dark?" jay asked, his voice shaking with a profound emotion. "my peace is walking through that front door and seeing you safe on the couch. my peace is knowing that whatever storm is hitting your life, i am the one holding the umbrella over your head. when you hide your problems from me, you aren't protecting my peace, yn. you're starving me of my purpose."

yn let out a loud, choked sob, her hands flying up to wrap around his wrists, holding his palms against her face as if her life depended on it. the crushing weight of the breakup she had been anticipating suddenly lifted, replaced by the overwhelming, healing warmth of his grace.

"i'm sorry," she wept, her nose bumping against his as she clung to him. "i'm so sorry for lying to you. i promise i won't ever do it again. i'll tell you everything, even the stupid things. even when i think i'm a burden."

"you are never a burden, baby," jay swore, his voice dropping into a low, fiercely protective rumble. he shifted his weight, sliding onto the couch beside her and pulling her entirely into his lap, mindful of her bandaged ankle. he wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face deep into the crook of her neck, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of her body wash that had been entirely missing from his day.

"if you don't know how to let me all the way in, then i'll teach you," jay murmured against her skin, his strong arms tightening around her until there wasn't a single shred of space left between them. "we'll figure it out together, step by step. but no more secrets, baby. no more walking in the dark alone."

"no more secrets," yn promised, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder as the final remnants of her exhaustion took over.

in the kitchen, a collective, silent sigh of relief swept over sunghoon, jungwon, and sunoo. the suffocating tension that had gripped the apartment since the previous night finally dissolved, replaced by the quiet, steady rhythm of two people rebuilding their foundation.

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