illegitimate puns

[illegitimatepuns-blog]

Of course it’s blood, sweat, and tears! If your skin no tear, how do the blood get out?

Ok, I'm adding some notes to this.

This utterance is possible only from someone adequately unfamiliar with English to not know that 'tears' is a noun, not a finite verb. This necessarily makes the speaker an immigrant.

What made me choose the speaker to be Hispanic is that immigrants from other languages seem unlikelier to talk colloquially with native English speakers who would use 'blood, sweat, and tears.' Software and research science aren't really /kinesthetic/, and such a physical statement (vs 'hard work and dedication', e.g.) seems likelier to come from people who would work jobs with some tangible outcome. I'm saying construction.

[illegitimatepuns-blog]

binding the team together

Backstory: Coworker has returned from 2 days of training, a class on threading.

me: how was the Threading course?

him: :\ so-so. 

me: // makes needlepoint motions

[illegitimatepuns-blog]

Sephora has Rouge Cream Lipstick “The Red” in stock in physical stores, but its presence on la red does not.

[illegitimatepuns-blog]

A pot o' tea, just for you.

Sra. Patricia Glunt, explaining the flapped 'r'.

[illegitimatepuns-blog]

minor regret

Not acquiring a pair of Björn Borg underthings.

Because when you wear them, you're no longer bare.

[*] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bjorn

[fyeahmusicmajorostrich]

[Picture: Background: six-piece pie style, alternating white, tan, and black. Foreground, in middle: grimacing ostrich head. Top text: “I play the erhu” Bottom text: “What the hell is that?”]

[illegitimatepuns-blog]

not to be confused with rwho, which prints a list of all users logged in on the local network.

[illegitimatepuns-blog]