Nah. @illmentis - Tumblr Blog

heartofmuse

“You broke my heart in every way a person can break someone else’s heart and yet here I am still thinking of you.”

— e.v.e. (Things I wish I still didn’t do)

bornwithawarriorheart

I miss them everyday...

ekscelsior

You say having feelings makes me weak, but you’re weak from hiding from them. I might be a hypocrite Lexa, but you’re a liar. […] If you care about me then, trust me. […] I can’t do that.

imthejudge

i’ll morph to someone else.

grendelmenz-deactivated20200929

Thinking about moths in class

11411111-deactivated20180207

crawwstuff

“Tooth and Nail”. Oil on wood panel.

d3athcrusade-deactivated2024092

Either way as I stray they’ll find me 💀 #art #illustration #pattern

krisztiantejfel

“Dia” detail! #painting #tejfelkrisztian

sixpenceee

By abhilashnarayanan.artstation.com

ossicle

My dreams after a shot of NyQuil

anxietyproblem

terramantra

alifechasingchaos

I promise I don’t hate you.

Sometimes I inexplicably start to hate receiving any form of touch from certain people.

It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like crawling out of my skin when someone I care for reaches out to me.

I can’t even blame them when they inevitably get offended; I would also be convinced that someone hated me if they avoided any form of physical contact.

I haven’t been able to pinpoint why my body recoils from these people. It’s like a mental block that prevents me from outwardly expressing love.

Forcing it only makes it worse; it’s obvious when I’m hugging someone with clenched fists.

The only explanation I can think of is that perhaps a tiny aspect of certain people reminds me of a traumatic experience. My brain must have filed arbitrary traits as belonging to people who cause pain, and created a visceral response to the idea of physical contact with them.

But all this does is push so many good people away.

I’m projecting my past on to the faces of the present, condemning myself to a perpetual state of apprehension.