@illyrianbuck - Tumblr Blog

fire blood, fire lord

#I'm back hi hello #I’ve missed this blog soooo much #so here’s eris so no one forgets who’s number 1 around here #anyways I have a lot of fun stuff planned for as soon as I start drawing daily again #not much to say about this one I just wanted to draw eris #blue background and jewellery for reasons. you know #eris vanserra #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #my art

I have been ….. in hiatus for a bit….I am NOT 🙅 done with this blog. I am coming back as soon as I finish graduating university

#just a few more exams…..a couple of essays……a ceremony…..and back to drawing 14h a day

Ok i know I’ve been gone but I’m about to board a 9h flight so I’ll be taking art requests again. If anyone’s interested

#send your ideas to my inbox and I’ll do…whichever I feel like doing ig #acotar related. obviously

ataraxetta

DID YOU KNOW that sometimes characters lie. out loud to others and internally to themselves, and it'll happen right there on the page. other times they are just flat out wrong and don't know it. oftentimes they don't ever find that out. a sizable portion of any story is decidedly not cold hard fact.

#but rhysand said- ! he was lying

imagine if they hadn’t all been horrendously traumatised post-utm and we could’ve gotten our trio back instead of having to watch them destroy each other

#my acotar cutiefuls……..augh #they could gone back to their domestic roommate sitcom…..plus…jurian. he’d be a nice addition #I miss them so bad they could’ve been so much more……….bigger than the whole sky 😔✋#and I think tamcien’s way of teaching feyre how to be a fae would’ve been sooooooo hilarious #given that neither of them know how to act or behave like normal people……which they are not #feyre could’ve reached her true freakism #aughhhhhhhh #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #my art

Wanted to throw my hat into the ring for the Elain/Lucien/Azriel topic lol

I think there's a good amount of set up for Elain to be a repressed lesbian! She was brought up with the idea that her main purpose was to marry, and then that shifted further into her needing to marry to pull her family out of poverty. I don't think it's totally out of line to suggest that her love for Graysen wasn't inherently romantic in nature but rather was born from him being the perfect means of fulfilling this role.

In regard to her attraction to Azriel- Elain has been stripped of her control over nearly every aspect of her life, and has also effectively been stripped of her choice of partner with the mating bond in place. Her attraction to Azriel is less about him individually and more so about allowing her to make the decision and actively go against the mating bond.

Also I like the idea of this repressed lesbian and repressed gay man toughing it out in a relationship with one another. Maybe I just like my faves miserable, but idk the idea that they're both fine with each other and are able to fulfill the roles they aspire to but ultimately there's always an air of discontent is interesting! But also I think they would choose one another on the basis of the expectations for their relationship not extending into anything permanent. Elain doesn't have to commit to a mating bond, but both her and Azriel get the satisfaction of both making a choice and being chosen.

Only thing that bugs me with this is that it kinda pushes Lucien to the wayside, however I'm also fond of the idea of the mating bond trope being subverted through them neither accepting nor denying it. Instead they just stop seeing it as inherently romantic. I want Lucien and Elain to be friends is what I'm saying lol.

That all being said though, sjm won't do any of this and I won't kid myself into thinking she would. Not to mention, based on her handling of other queer characters, notably Mor, I don't think I want her handling a repressed lesbian plotline, especially not one that involves past and current relationships to men :/ but it's fun to think about

soz if this is all over the place or too steeped in hc😓

I agree with absolutely everything you said I love it. when I mentioned I had other ideas for elain in mind I actually did mean that I see her a repressed lesbian engaging in comphet due to the period and social expectations, I also don't think she's very aware of the concept of homosexuality in women as a human in the 17th-19th century might not be. I love the bit of her mirroring azriel in the way he mirrors mor and I think it's interesting to understand them within a spectrum of awareness of repression each at different points. elain being the most unaware of her sexuality and repression, mor the most aware and azriel somewhere in the middle (not internally admitting his sexuality but somewhat aware he's lying to himself)

I think the best thing you've said is the stuff with the elucien bond though. them choosing not to act on it and developing a close platonic bond is soooooooo <3 and it would be so healing for both, who feel so pressured into this biological imperative, to prove that it doesn't condition their lives and they can have free will. and I think they would set an interesting example for others around them

obviously sjm won't do this like I said. omegaverse hetslop. but who caresssss omg this is our house literally what fandom is for dw about it and don't EVER apologize for long hc takes in my inbox that's what my inbox is forrrrrr I want to talk I want to knowww

#lucien to me has always felt very evidently uncomfortable with having a romantic partner prioratized over jessminda #I think he wanted for her to have been his mate so as to have no on replace her and feels pretty disloyal about elain being his actual mate #I think differencing between mate and love of his life would help his guilt and his grief a lot #and for elain who's always been for coerced into romance either out of social expectation and necesity #the most liberating thing for her would be to make a choise outside expectations #you guys all know I love my moriel lavender love situation. both of them using the other in order not to destabilize the ic and themselves #I really love this anon thank you mwah #asks

(erhys anon) also feel free to ignore this if its not ur cup of tea but its my whole teapot so i have to ask. feyris (+ perhaps feysandris)

dynamic wise I'm sure it's great but I cannot get behind it for the same reason that I cannot get behind neris. which is that eris is so gay to me. so gay

#it is my unmovable and wholly unfounded belief sorry. but you're welcome to try and convince me if you have arguments to make #asks

yeyyy gwyn got her gills<3

was I bit of a coward for not making her blue be honest. I thought about it but I wanted her to still be recognisable

#I still like the idea of her being more “normal” looking and her sister being more nymph like ergo blue #but yes I did still give her fin ears and gills yay #maybe it can be a h2o mermaid deal where she gets fishier when she touches water #asks

I AM THE ONE THAT YAPPED ABOUT THE AMFEYIANTHE(?) LINK IN UR ASKS TYSM FOR THE FOOD U DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THAT POST PUMPED ME WITH DOPAMINE

this is so old but thank you sm anon it was such a good idea

#more on that later. maybe #asks

What did you mean by a/b/o hetslop?

I meant mates being biologically conditioned to fuck and impregnate is the equivalent to heats and mating in the omegaverse. hetslop because well. it's acotar

#to be honest any straight version of a/b/o dynamics is slop in my world. some things only work when they're gay #otherwise they turn into gender essentialism #if your real question is what IS the omegaverse then I don't know how to help you. I also don't know what you're doing on tumblr #I'm sorry that's so mean I just don't know what you're asking me #asks

your like prythian's pretty boy interpretation of rhysand is so interesting to me because i find him so much more annoying and at the same time my brain is like Yup That's Him 🫵🫵🫵

also unrelated but ik before you've mentioned that in your reimagined acotar, ic doesn't immediately take feyre under their wing and become instant best friends (with the exception of maybe cassian?) and as someone who does adore the canon feymor friendship (altho lwk i headcanon that feyre unknowingly crushed on mor but that's a different thing) do they eventually become decent friends later on?? tbh i think i'd like it even more if mor didn't immediately like feyre and their friendship gets earned(?) over time but im just curious for what you have in mind 🔥

rhysand is fundamentally annoying so I'm glad you're with me on this

I don't remember saying the IC did not become friends with feyre immediately but I'll say it now sure. they way they were so instantly caring and loving towards feyre is obviously a performance for rhysand's sake. I don't think they disliked feyre they just probably did not care much (and why would they she's a random stranger suddenly embedded in their lives) what they did care about was rhysand who came back very evidently fucked up and torn apart and obsessed about feyre and the bond (as a way to not deal with what had happened to him imo). they weren't exactly appeasing him but they were trying to show him that this things he's built up in his head and held onto as a symbol of hope can work out great and everything will be okay (which is why they integrate feyre so much and so quickly and she fits perfectly with them and everyone loves her so much)

obviously I do think they came to care about feyre with time and are her genuine friends but that can only come with knowing someone and feyre WAS a literal stranger at first.

essentially I think the whole thing was performative in the sense that they were trying to be as open and welcoming as possible for rhysand's benefit. and they put themselves in their best behaviour, which I think we now know is not their """real"" personalities. you can see this with the way they approached the sisters, how they went out of their way to be nice for feyre's benefit even when they (imo very obviously) did not like them much

#I think knowing what we now know about them they way the acted around feyre in acomaf was a bit ooc #they were putting their best faces on and actively trying to be her friends when I think they're in general unfriendly closed off people #mor would have been more interested in rhysand's state and the politics of the newly freed prythian that going shopping with some girl #azriel is not really the kind of person to freely offer his time to anyone for somehing like flying lessons etc you understand what I mean #I think rhysand immediately latching onto the bond and having feyre is a very good excuse for him to not have to deal with utm #not that he didn't actually care about her but she was a bit of a distraction + bandaid for traumatic events.#just something to move onto right away and not process anything #imagine you have a friend who is incredibly depressed and suicidal who has this one (1) project that pulls them a bit out of that #you'd want to show your interest as a way to keep them afloat right. does that make sense #that whole schtick of theirs of everyone thinks we're so mean and evil and we're actually sweet and bubbly #is as much a performance as the mythologized villanous versions of them. like does that make sense #I think they're more so somewhere in the middle #when DID I say that I'm curious now.....if you find the post where I said they don't like her send it to me anon please #thank you so much for the question ! what are YOUR thoughts ?#asks

honestly surprises me you've never drawn (that i could find) the only canon acotar usou couple: thesan and his peregryn captain lover

Only reason I haven't is that I would have to come up with a compelling and interesting character design being as the books give us really nothing. I actually think about them a lot

#I just need to sit down and think on it some #they have so few speaking parts and are so (narratively) irrelevant I can't get a good grasp on the characters #but it is on my mind hashtagTRUST #asks

erhys anon here. crucially you must know “why would the National Hockey League be here” was almost word for word my exact thoughts when i saw the drawing.

Once again

#asks

Soooo what do you think will happen re: Elaine and Lucien and Az in the last book if it ever comes bc my secret belief is there's going to be some kind of three way soulmate situation here i do believe SJM will always end up with mates > everything else her commitment to people 'resisting the bond' is so limp, but there's no way she's going to be even meaner to azzy he's already The Sufferer like its a day job. Lucien is such an interesting guy to me WYM he is both number 1 disloyal warrior (drops his court, drops Tam for Feyre) but also such a stick it out obsessive. Why all the detail about Feyre being worried he's going to be 'too rough' with Elaine when all his character traits point to being restrained to the point of repression about anything he feels strongly about. In all honesty I can't see either of them being good fits for Elaine I think Az should be a metaphor for the trauma of growing up a closeted gay man and the last book should focus on him while Elucian figure something out boringly in the background.

She’s always going to make the mates endgame you’re right about that. The whole point of them is a/b/o hetslop so. I don’t think she’ll do a threeway mating bond I can’t really see as capable of doing something that needs to be so nuanced but then again she has decks of deus ex-machinas she pulls out her ass at will so who knows. If she wants eriel to be endgame she’ll find someway to make them mates. If she wants elucien she’ll make elain acquiesce to the feelings she does not have like she did feysand and nessian by forcing them together so she can see what a great guy he is and she can get over her apprehension.

I don’t thinks she’s very sure what she wants to do with azriel. Its why she keeps leaving everything open ended in regards mor gwyn and elain. Maybe she’ll kill him

And lucien is a repressed rather than violent character for sure but I can’t say I agree with you saying he’s disloyal. imo he’s loyal to a fault. He didn’t choose to leave tamlin he had no choice and still cares for him after tamlin exiled him. He clearly dislikes the ic and the person feyre has become and yet keeps helping them every way he can (not just because they’re keeping elain hostage) and he remains loyal to the exiles. So idk about that

And I think it’s pretty obvious that azriel is the violent and volatile character lucien is made out to be. Very transparently so. He’s a scary dangerous guy and he would be to elain what feyre fears of lucien. I’ve never seen the appeal of that relationship

But you’re right neither are right for elain and this is the worst most boring plot point they could have given her. It sucks. And it sucks how polarising and significant it has become in all character discussions

I agree azriel is a easily understood as a queer character and a great one who should be a mirror to mor and the book should have some focus on the repression of their identity due to the inflexibility of the ic dynamics. I think it’s literally the best conception of both characters. I won’t happen. She’ll pair azriel off with one twenty year old girl or another. She’ll give mor a line or two in the 800 page book. No one is going to be gay in any way that could be potentially interesting.

#and to be honest i Could not care less. i have always found the elucien eriel thing so insurmountably boring and ill conceived #expecting complex and nunaced explorations of queerness and identity from sjm is like losing chess to a dog. lets be serious #I sound a bit mean I’m sorry. I really apprecieate your question and would love to debate it further let me know ur thoughts. muac #i also want to discuss what I think would actually be good for elain as a character and actually connect with her narrative #I still don’t think elucien should be together I think elain can have better more interesting things going on #and the real revolutionary act would be having character development that is not anchored in romance. for all three of them #its just all hetslop to me sorry. i hate all of it #and by the way lucien IS a great guy. I just think they both deserve better than sjm trope stockhold syndrom hetslop #thank you somuch anon I am not trying to be mean the topic just pisses me off. tell me more of what you think #asks

Did you think the NHL meant the National Hockey League and not Night (court) High Lord

Why would the National Hockey League be here

Puckbrained

Voting ended onApr 24

#per my last drawing. generated a small commotion in the public I guess #poll

bullet points just now were me oops forgor to say (erhys anon)

I figured

#who else is this erhyspilled anon b honest #asks

- THE KISS. eris going slow down and rhys needing NEED. does eris want? doesnt matter rhys NEEDS. needs to get amarantha out of him needs to forget needs to be in control again needs eris NEEDS ERIS. eris surprised and saying wait and im foaming at the mouth thinking what happens next? does it happen and break eris? does eris push him away and break rhys. and its crucial that rhys and eris both simultaneously want and dont want it.

- screaming at the expression on new tats rhys. he wants eris to think hes cool SO BAD. reluctantly blushing eris. AGH. and this contrasted with the honest and sincere cool right yeah its cool. they were kids and they thought the other was cool. open expressions and real smiles. vs smirk and scowl.

- rhys singing is very important to me.

- teenage rhys grip on eris arm. the way eris looks cornered. his furrowed eyebrows vs rhys raised ones.

- HANDS BEHIND THEIR BACKS THEY ARE SO CUTE. AGH

- present day THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. THE ‘CUTE’. both earrings being blue vs the red and green. the fact that eris addresses rhys as HL (not hockey league). pointing out that rhys is one and eris isn’t. drawing attention to the power dynamic. rhys in his fathers place and eris not. now kiss

- NOT NOTHING. NOT NOTHING AND ILL GET MAD IF U SAY ITAGAIN

- thats literally what that kiss IS. Its utm and comfort can only be ripped out of others also for rhys who was the only person that was entirely alone (aside from n&c but hes their hl) Eris is his only anchor to himself

-The crucial thing about rhys is that he is cringe and embarrassing at his core. The earnestness of children…..augh

- 2me2 but only on the condition that hes really bad. Hes good at everything and a shit singer

-like what was going onnnnnnnn. Did rhys corner him in a corridor. Is eris going to run away. Who knowssssss. Imo they both look pretty surprised about the whole thing

-very cutesy i thought. Their trying to be very serious about being the first sons which is rhysand looks so offended when eris pokes his tongue at him

-EXACTLYYYYY. You caught the hl thing perfectlyyyyyy. The earrings represent belonging. Younger rhys had his purple earring (meaning himself) and then the red ones utm (amarantha) and then grey blue ones in the present (feyre) + younger eris having green earrings (himself) and keeping them utm because he never lost himself there the way rhys did. And blue earrings present day. Cobalt even

Thank u so much for the analysis and your attention to detail

#(not hockey league) <- i love you #the purple earrings……that he gave to tamlin………its all connected #and as you can see my azrismaxxing never stops #im sooooo glad you truly enjoyed the drawing its lowkey ur brainchild #asks

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