I have gone nowhere
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Pairing: Daeron Targaryen x Betrothed!Reader
Summary:Â
Mors Martell has been in Summerhall two days when he looks at Maekarâs children and names what Maekar has spent years refusing to see. Daella is not only curious. Egg is not only restless. Aemon is not only dutiful. Aerion is not only cruel. Daeron is not only lost. In the days before Daeronâs wedding, Maekar watches his children orbit the Martell bride and her family, each of them reaching in the only way they know how. What he finds is not comfort, not absolution, but the shape of a house where every child has learned a different way to stand alone.
Word Count: 12.2k
Warnings:Â Grief, parental emotional neglect, dysfunctional family dynamics, alcoholism references, references to brothels/sex work, implied past sexual self-destruction, class/gender/political tension, Aerion being Aerion. Mors Martell said i can fix nothing but i can make you aware of it, and now Maekar is on a failsons and faildaughters speedrun. This is my first attempt at writing the smaller Maekarlings.
A/N:Â I wanted to explore how the Maekarlings might have initially reacted to the Reader, and what Maekar might learn of his children with the Martells as contrast. This is my first time delving into family dynamics and Maekar's relationship to all his children, I would love to hear your thoughts! I hope you like this!
This is another installment of the Where I am good and loved collection/series, but like all pieces it can be read as a standalone.
Title is from the quote by Theodore Roethke: "Father, I'm far from home, and I have gone nowhere."
By the second night they spend there, the Martells have begun to make Summerhall untidy.Â
Not in any way Maekar can object to, nothing is disordered enough to require correction. No servant has been insulted, no courtesy forgotten, no hall invaded beyond the allowances of kinship and hospitality. Prince Morsâ party bows where it must bow, stands when rank requires it, eats what is set before them. Â
Still, Summerhall has altered around them.Â
It is in the sound first. The gallery is not louder than it has been on other evenings, but the noise sits differently in the room now. Dornish voices run close to one another, interrupting, answering before a question has fully finished, folding laughter into speech. A woman near the far hearth touches anotherâs wrist to hold her in the conversation, you being your head towards your sister, arms linked as you both listen to something Daella is telling you with too much earnestness and not enough breath between sentences.Â
Your sister laughs, sudden and bright, and the sound carries farther than it should.Â
Maekar looks toward it before he can stop himself.Â
The girl does not seem offended by Daellaâs eagerness, and that is the first irritation. She seems amused, and that is the second. Daella, who has spent the last day looking too often at the Martell womenâs sleeves, hair, earrings, shoes, and easy closeness, brightens at being received instead of corrected.Â
Mors sees Maekar looking. Of course he does. The man has always had the disagreeable habit of noticing what he ought to leave alone.Â
âThey find one another quickly.â Mors comments, stepping closer. Â
The Dornishman leans one side of his hip against the wall behind them, where Maekar stands at attention.Â
Maekar keeps his gaze on the room.Â
âYour daughters?âÂ
âWomen,â Mors corrects, after a beat. âGirls. Sisters. Whichever word makes a prince least uncomfortable.âÂ
Maekar gives him a dry look, but Mors only smiles into his cup.Â
It is almost easy, for a moment. Old taunts, old rhythm, the familiar shape of a friendship neither of them would name softly. Mors has always spoken like a man bold enough to be impertinent, and Maekar has always preferred that to cautious respect. Respect makes liars of men who know better.Â
Mors stands near the window with one shoulder turned from the room, a cup in hand, sun-dark fingers loose around the stem. The dayâs travel dust is gone from him, and whatever stiffness the road put into his back has either eased or been hidden. His wife sits with Baelor and Manfred and Lenna Dondarrion near the hearth, speaking with calm authority. Every so often, Morsâ gaze goes to her. Not anxiously, merely by habit.Â
Maekar has seen it three times in as many minutes.Â
âYou still count her breaths?â He asks.Â
Mors does not bother pretending not to know whom he means, âOnly when she wants me to.âÂ
âThat seems unlikely.âÂ
âYou have not been married to her for over twenty years.âÂ
âNo,â Maekar concedes, âA mercy to us both.âÂ
Morsâ mouth curves, âTo her, certainly.âÂ
Across the room, Daeron stands near one of the tapestries with a cup in his hand.Â
He is not drinking from it.Â
Maekar notes this, as he noted it the previous night. He notes the gloved hand curled around the stem, the easy posture arranged over some private strain, the smile Daeron gives one of the Dornish knights when spoken to, light and useless and almost convincing. Daeron has always known how to look least wounded when most watched. It is one of his more infuriating talents. Â
The previous evening returns to Maekar without permission: Daeronâs bare hand, the glove pulled off too quickly, the tremor hidden by grace only because everyone had agreed to call grace by that name. The way you had offered your hand and Daeron had come the rest of the way. The way he had left the glove off after, as though the uncovered hand had betrayed him into some honesty he could not immediately cover again.Â
Then later, the laugh.Â
You had laughed at something Daeron said beside one of the old hunting tapestries, and Daeron had looked at you as if the sound had reached some foolish, undefended place in him. His face had changed before he could govern it. Only for a breath. A smile, almost boyish in its surprise, gone once Maekarâs attention found him.Â
Maekar had not meant to look so sharply, but Daeron had noticed anyway.Â
Now, on the second night since the Martellâs arrival, his son keeps himself at a better distance. Near enough to answer if spoken to. Far enough to pretend he has not chosen where to stand by the line of sight it gives him to his betrothed.Â
Mors follows his gaze.Â
âYour son does not approach easily.â He says.Â
Maekarâs jaw tightens, and rushes to let the conversation reach its objective, admitting to what the other man alludes to, âDaeron has faults.âÂ
A short laugh that would have earned any other man a fist to the jaw, and mors replies, âI know.âÂ
âThey have been made louder than they deserve.âÂ
Mors looks at him then, but not with surprise. With something worse: patience.Â
Maekar dislikes that look in any man. From Mors, he dislikes it doubly, because Mors has known him too long to be impressed by silence.Â
âIs that so?âÂ
No. if anything, rumor is kinder to Daeron than he deserves.Â
But Maekar wonât say that. Before anything else, that boy is his own.Â
âHe has sense,â Maekar says instead. âWhen he chooses to use it.âÂ
The defense sits between them, hard and insufficient.Â
It is not tenderness. Maekar knows that. It is not even quite mercy. It is only aâŚa correction of record, a fatherâs answer to the shape of gossip before the gossip has been spoken aloud. He has cursed Daeronâs habits in private, cursed his weakness, his disappearances, his wasted mornings, his wine-sour returns, his useless mouth and all the cleverness he spends making himself smaller. He has said worse to Baelor than he would ever permit from any man outside his blood.Â
That is different.Â
A father may name the rot in his own house, but he need not offer it to guests.Â
Mors turns his cup once, watching the wine catch the light. âI am not speaking of the wine, by the way.âÂ
Maekar looks at him.Â
For the first time that evening, the room seems to step back from them. Â
Not in sound. The music continues, thin and courtly beneath the talk. The Martell sister laughs again at something Daella says. Egg has drifted too close to Aemon and is being moved back by one quiet hand at his shoulder. Aerion speaks to one of Morsâs men with the expression he wears when he has found a blade and is deciding where to set the point.Â
Everything remains as it was.Â
Morsâs voice lowers. âLeave it to you to fill a house with six children and leave each one of them alone.âÂ
The first answer in Maekar is immediate and ugly.Â
It rises so quickly that only discipline keeps it from his mouth. A thing about presumption. About Dornish men arriving with dust still in their bones and thinking themselves fit to judge royal households. About Morsâs own daughters, loud enough to mistake noise for happiness. About daughters being easy to gather because they are permitted softness sons must outgrow. About war, duty, rank, grief, governance, all the things Mors speaks around because Dorne lets men pretend tenderness is the same as freedom.Â
He says none of it.Â
Mors watches him not say it.Â
Maekar drinks. The wine is good and wasted on the moment.Â
âMy children are not neglected.â He says instead. He hears the sulk, the petulant offense, in his own voice, and detests it at once.Â
âNo,â The agreement is so quick Maekar distrusts it. Mors looks into the room. âThat is not what I said either.âÂ
Maekar follows his gaze despite himself.Â
His children are easy enough to find because he has always known where each disturbance in a room is likely to settle. Aemon near Baelor, quiet, pale head inclined toward whatever is being said to him, attentive enough to seem at peace to anyone who does not know the weight attention can become. Aerion at the far side, smiling too softly. Egg half-contained, his dignity in constant war with his feet. Daella bright beside the Martell girls. Rhae drowsy near her governess, one hand wrapped in the womanâs skirts. Daeron apart, cup in hand, looking nowhere too long.Â
Six children.Â
Rooms. Tutors. Guards. Horses. Septons. Maesters. Names properly entered and spoken. Clothes fitted, futures arranged, places held at table. Aemon has the Citadel before him, if the Gods and his own mind continue in agreement. Aerion has skill, despite whatever poison he pours through it. Egg has more indulgence than Maekar should allow him. The girls are watched, taught, protected. Daeron has a wife coming from a house Maekar trusts because Maekar has swallowed enough pride to ask for what his son would never ask for himself.Â
Alone.Â
The word has no place among such provisions.Â
Mors sets his cup down on the narrow ledge beneath the window.Â
âYou look as though you are counting bedsheets and guardsmen.âÂ
âThose are not nothing.âÂ
âNo. They are not.âÂ
Maekarâs mouth curls for a moment, before he half-remembers the same man standing before him now taunting him about growling like a dog nearly twenty years ago.Â
âYou speak very freely for a guest.â He comments past gritted teeth.Â
âI speak freely because I am not only a guest.âÂ
That is true enough to be inconvenient. Mors had stood with him in mud and smoke before either of them had learned how much of themselves war would keep. He had cursed beside him, bled beside him, once laughed into a bloodied sleeve because Maekar, half-stunned and too young to be commanding anyone, had given an order so terrible in phrasing and so correct in substance that half their line had obeyed from disbelief alone. Mors had known him before Summerhall, before six children, before grief.Â
Knowing a man young is a dangerous thing, it gives oneâs insults too many doors.Â
Maekar looks again toward Daeron. âYou have seen them for two days.âÂ
âI have seen children before.âÂ
âDaughters,â Maekar says, and hears the bite before he can recall it. Mors turns his head. âDaughters are easier to keep near.â Â
For a moment, Mors only stares at him.Â
Then he laughs once, without pleasure. âSpoken like a man who has never had eight of them trying to take a household apart from the inside.âÂ
Maekar says nothing.Â
âNo,â Mors continues, quieter. âDaughters are not easier. Mine simply never learned to let me be deaf in peace.âÂ
The words settle badly.Â
Across the room, Daella leans toward the Martell girls, hands folded tightly before her in the way her septa praises because it keeps them still. She is listening too intently to whatever Morsâs younger daughter is telling her. Too bright with it, too grateful for an answer.Â
Maekar feels irritation move in him again, sudden and sharp.Â
Daella is curious. That is all. A girlâs curiosity in the face of novelty. The Martells are new, bright, sun-warmed, full of stories that will fade once the wedding is done and the household returned to its proper order. Daella has always been full of questions; she asked them of maesters, septas, nurses, visiting ladies, Baelor when she could corner him, Aemon when he was too kind to escape, Egg when she needed a less reliable answer and did not mind knowing it.Â
Lonely children do not ask so many questions.Â
Or perhaps they do.Â
No.Â
Maekar rejects the thought with a force that surprises him.Â
Mors says nothing.Â
That is worse than argument.Â
âYou are angry.â Mors says at last.Â
âYou came into my house and insulted my children.âÂ
âI insulted you,â Maekar looks at him. Morsâs face is steady. There is no satisfaction in it, no victory. âThat is different.âÂ
Maekar almost answers. He has several replies fit for the purpose, most of them older than either of their eldest children. None reach his mouth.Â
The music changes. A servant passes near enough that both men fall silent until he is gone. At the far end of the gallery, Baelorâs voice warms over some graceful remark, and Lady Martell answers with a smile that makes Morsâs attention shift by habit before returning.Â
Maekar sees the movement.Â
Again. Always again.Â
âYour wife will think you neglect her if you stare at my failures all evening.â He says.Â
Mors snorts, âMy wife would inform me if I neglected her.âÂ
âHow fortunate for you.âÂ
âYes,â Mors says. âIt is.âÂ
The simplicity of the answer is indecent.Â
Maekar turns back to the room, to the children Mors has presumed to pity and accuse him through. His gaze finds Daella because he means it to. Because she is the easiest proof, because Mors does not know her, because a man who has been in his house two days does not get to make a wound of every bright question a girl asks a stranger.Â
Daella is not lonely, he thinks.Â
She cannot be.Â
The thought holds for less than a breath before the Martell girl laughs again and Daella leans closer, shining with the borrowed warmth of being answered. Â
Maekar chooses Daella first because she is easiest.Â
He is aware that is not a kind thought, but it is not an unkind one either. It is simply where his mind goes when it looks for proof. Daella is not Daeron, whose failures have learned to leave rooms before he does. She is not Aerion, who sharpens every conversation until someone must either bleed or smile. She is not Aemon, quiet enough for duty to mistake him for peace, nor Egg, who must be caught by the collar of his name before he climbs, asks, interrupts, or vanishes into some unsuitable passage.Â
Daella is bright, Daella is dutiful when reminded, Daella is full of questions and fond of pretty things and sufficiently indulged by her elder brothers to believe most rooms will answer her if she persists long enough.Â
Daella is not lonely. She isâŚnosy. That is different.Â
The thought holds well enough until the third afternoon.Â
There is no feast that day. No formal welcome, no music, no line of guests arranged beneath the eyes of the house. The Martells have begun unpacking themselves into Summerhall by degrees: trunks opened, servants redirected, horses walked in the yard, letters sent toward Dorne, bright fabrics aired over chairs and screens in a way that makes the attending women murmur and rearrange what has already been arranged.Â
Maekar has no reason to linger near the small solar beside the western gallery.Â
He does so anyway.Â
The door is open, and that is excuse enough. The room lies on the way to the outer stair if one takes the longer passage, and he has taken it because a servant told him Baelor had gone that way. Baelor is not there. Instead, the room is full of womenâs voices, afternoon light, and the smell of some Dornish oil or soap that has escaped an opened traveling chest and settled into the old wood.Â
Daella is inside. Of course she is.Â
She sits on a low stool beside Morsâs younger daughter, knees angled toward her with such intentness that her septa would have corrected the posture if the septa had not already been defeated by the room. Rhae stands half behind Daellaâs shoulder, one hand fisted in the fall of her sisterâs sleeve and the other worrying at the edge of a ribbon she has no right to touch. Maekar noticed the way your eyes travel to Rhaeâs plump little hand and the way you pretend not to see the ribbon being worried. You sit nearer the window with a length of yellow silk folded across your lap, while your mother speaks quietly to Lady Clarisse over a tray of pins, thread, and small gold pieces Maekar does not know the use of and does not intend to ask about.Â
Wedding work, he supposes. Women have always had an astonishing capacity to turn cloth into governance. Â
He thinks, for a moment, of a boy that knew little and appreciated even less, and the soft-spoken young girl dressed in purple and silver. He thinks, for a moment, of draping a Targaryen cloak over unfamiliar shoulders and a loose strand of mahogany hair caught under red and black.Â
He imagines, for a moment, a red dragon covering a Martell yellow sun. He hopes, for a weak moment, that his son finds the same love he did.Â
âIs it true there are pools for children at the Water Gardens?â Daella asks, dragging Maekar away from his thoughts.Â
âThere are pools for everyone.â Your sister says.Â
âBut children are allowed in them?âÂ
Your sister spares a glance towards your mother and states, âIf they are quick enough to avoid being pulled out by their mothers.âÂ
Daella absorbs this with a seriousness better spent on her lessons. âEven noble children?âÂ
âEspecially noble children. They are usually the ones most in need of being made ridiculous.âÂ
Rhaeâs fingers go still on the ribbon.Â
Daella frowns. âPrinces too?âÂ
âPrinces most of all.âÂ
You glance up from the silk. Your mouth moves, not quite a smile. Â
The look passes between the sisters with the ease of a thrown ball. Daella sees it and leans forward as though proximity might teach her the rules.Â
Maekar tells himself he should move on.Â
He remains where he is, just outside the door, shielded by the angle of the passage and the half-fall of an old hanging worked with red thread gone dull from age.Â
âHave you pushed a prince into a pool?â Daella asks.Â
The younger sister lifts one shoulder. âI have pushed cousins. That is almost the same thing.âÂ
âYou pushed Doras, and held him under the water.â You say without looking up.Â
âHe pulled my braid.âÂ
âYou bit him.âÂ
âHe had hands enough to let go.âÂ
Daellaâs eyes widen with immediate admiration.Â
Rhae makes a small sound, nearly a laugh, and hides her face against Daellaâs shoulder. Daella reaches back without looking and pats her sisterâs hand, impatient but not unkind.Â
There is nothing wrong with the scene.Â
That, perhaps, is what makes it difficult to leave.Â
His daughters are attended, received, entertained. Daella has found the novelty he expected her to find. Rhae is no more forward than any child made curious by color and unfamiliar voices. The Martell girls are polite enough, warm enough, not too familiar for their station and not cold enough to offend hospitality. Nothing here accuses him.Â
It is all very ordinary.Â
He distrusts how little relief the thought gives him.Â
âDo all your sisters write to you?â Daella asks.Â
The room moves around the question without changing. One of the Martell women lifts a length of fabric to the light. Lady Clarisse says something too low to hear. You thread a pin through the silk and answer only after you have secured it.Â
âMost of them. When they remember.âÂ
âHow many letters do you get?âÂ
âThat depends how many quarrels have happened since the last raven.âÂ
The younger sister laughs. âOr how many quarrels she caused before leaving.âÂ
âI caused none.âÂ
âYou caused three.âÂ
âTwo,â You says. âThe third was a misunderstanding.âÂ
Daella looks between the two of you, delighted. âWhat was it about?âÂ
âYou are too young to hear it.â You retort, with the same ease he has seen Daeron hold Egg away from a bucking horse.Â
âI am not.âÂ
âYou are.âÂ
âI am a princess.âÂ
She wasnât so inclined to make arguments like that before Aerion started participating in her lessons with her septa.Â
âThat does not make you older, little one.âÂ
Daella looks down at her gown, considers the argument, and seems offended only because it has worked. Rhae touches the ribbon again, more carefully this time, as though some freedom has been extended to the whole corner of the room and she means to make a modest use of it.Â
Maekar should move. He should certainly move before someone sees him standing like a thief outside a room full of girls.Â
Then Daella shifts in her seat, turning fully to your sister and asking, âWill she still write to you after she marries Daeron?âÂ
Your hands pause over the silk, only for a breath. It is not long enough for Daella to notice, but it is long enough for Maekar.Â
âOf course.â Your sister says.Â
Daella doesnât look convinced. âEvery week?âÂ
âIf she has anything worth saying.âÂ
âAnd if she does not?âÂ
Your sister gives you a look of grave consideration. âThen I will write first and accuse her of becoming boring.âÂ
You look up fully now. âI would never give you the satisfaction.âÂ
âYou say that because you are not married yet.âÂ
âI say that because I have never been boring.âÂ
Daella smiles, pleased by the answer and not done with it. âBut she will stay here, right? With us?âÂ
The room quiets by some small degree.Â
A pin is lifted, fabric shifts, someone near the hearth sets down a cup with care. No one stops working simply because a child has asked a question, but the air alters all the same, and Maekar feels the change before he understands why it has struck him so sharply.Â
Your gaze moves to Daella. Then, for the smallest instant, her gaze moves to the open door.Â
To him.Â
Maekar does not step away.Â
He sees the thought pass across your face, or imagines he does. To you, he is only the father of the man you are to marry, standing where a father might stand if he wished to judge whether his future daughter entered his house with proper grace. Perhaps you think he has come to measure your manners. Perhaps she thinks he watches his daughters around her and wonders what sort of influence she will become.Â
That is fair enough. He is wondering it now.Â
âI expect so.â You say.Â
The answer is correct, careful. Too careful for Daella, who has never had much taste for answers that close a door without telling her what lies behind it.Â
Her nose wrinkles. âThat is not an answer.âÂ
The younger Martell girl chokes on a laugh and lowers her face at once. Lady Clarisse murmurs Daellaâs name, not sharply, only in warning. Rhae presses closer, either from embarrassment or enjoyment.Â
Maekar does not expect a daughter of Dorne, least of all a daughter of Mors Martell, to be offended by insolence. And you clearly arenât. Your mouth softens, though not enough to make the question harmless.Â
âThen I will give you another answer,â You say. âYes. I will stay.âÂ
Daella studies you.Â
It is an insolent look, too direct, unfiltered in the way children and spoiled princesses are both permitted to be until the habit becomes dangerous. Maekar has seen her use it on septas, maesters, servants, Egg, once on Baelor when she wanted the truth of whether a visiting ladyâs jewels had been real. He had corrected her then. Or meant to. He cannot now remember whether the correction was spoken aloud or merely intended so firmly that memory has given it the dignity of action.Â
âHow long?â Daella asks.Â
Your sisterâs smile fades, little by little. You do not look toward Maekar this time.Â
âAs long as I am Daeronâs wife.âÂ
It is another correct answer. Less evasive than the first and somehow worse for it.Â
Daella accepts it only in part. Her gaze moves to the window, to the grey afternoon beyond it, to the hills around Summerhall that are not Dorne and will not become Dorne no matter how much yellow silk is folded in its rooms.Â
âAnd if he dies?âÂ
Lady Clarisse chastises, âDaella.âÂ
âWhat?â She retorts, turning to her aunt seemingly offended by the interruption, âPeople die.âÂ
No one answers quickly enough.Â
Daella looks back at you. âMy mother died.âÂ
There it is, Maekar thinks, and hates Mors for having made him hear it.Â
Maekarâs hand closes once at his side.Â
You hold Daellaâs gaze, your head tilting to the side. There is no pity in your face. Thank the Gods for that. Pity would have made Maekar enter the room, or leave it, or do some other foolish thing he could name later as propriety.Â
âI know.â You say. It seems there is not much more you can offer her, and yet it seems it is enough for Daella.Â
âShe wore purple jewels,â Daella says, unprompted and unashamed. âLike amethysts, but darker. Father gave them to her. Aerion says he chose badly because they made her look too pale, but he only says that because he thinks everything should be red or black or on fire.âÂ
The younger Martell girl laughs then, properly, helplessly. Even your mouth breaks into amusement before you lower her eyes to the silk. Rhae smiles because the others do, because laughter has become permission.Â
Daella beams, and there is nothing wounded in her face. That should make it easier.Â
Maekar turns from the doorway before any of them can decide he has been standing there too long. The passage beyond the solar is cool and narrow, the stones holding the damp in the old way despite the fires lit in the occupied rooms. He walks without haste because haste would give the moment more consequence than it deserves.Â
Daella misses her mother.Â
That is all.Â
A girl without her mother will ask foolish questions of women who arrive with sisters and trunks of silk and stories of warmer courts. She will be eager. She will be overbold. She will mistake a brideâs arrival for the arrival of answers no one has promised her. That is grief, it is not loneliness. Or if it is loneliness, it is the ordinary loneliness death leaves behind, and no father, however diligent, can govern death back into obedience.Â
Dyanna has died. That is the beginning and end of it.Â
Maekar reaches the end of the corridor and stops before the stair. From behind him, Daellaâs voice carries out of the solar, bright again and already asking something else before the last answer has finished.Â
Maekar puts one hand on the stair rail.Â
Dyanna had died, he thinks again.Â
The thought steadies him, but not enough.Â
Eggâs voice carries.Â
It has always carried. Down corridors, through shut doors, across courtyards where horses are being saddled and men are attempting to hear one another. Maekar has often thought that if his youngest son were ever truly lost, one would need only stand still and wait for some distant argument to betray him.Â
On the fourth afternoon since the Martellsâ arrival, the argument comes from the map room.Â
âNo, no, that cannot be right,â Egg is saying. âIf this is the pass, then Sunspear must be there.âÂ
âThat is not Sunspear,â Your sister says.Â
âIt says Sunspear.âÂ
âIt says Salt Shore.âÂ
There is a pause.Â
âThe letters are very small,â Egg says, after a moment.Â
Maekar stops before the half-open door.Â
He has come looking for Aemon. Or that is what he tells himself in the instant before he looks inside and finds both boys already there.Â
The map room is cooler than the rest of the house, its windows narrow, its walls lined with rolled vellum, old surveys, sea charts, and fading claims of men who had thought the world would remain where ink placed it. A large table stands in the center, and over it Egg has spread one of the maps with the careless authority of a child who did not ask permission because he never imagined permission might be denied.Â
It is a map of Dorne.Â
An old one. Too old, perhaps. The ink has browned at the edges, and the coastline is not as cleanly drawn as Maekar remembers from newer charts. Mountains crouch across the page in careful little humps, roads thin into uncertain lines, names sit in unfamiliar relation to one another.Â
Egg is bent over it with both hands planted on the table, one knee already braced against the chair he has dragged too close. Your sister stands opposite him, amused and openly unconvinced. You are beside her, quieter, one hand resting lightly on the tableâs edge. Aemon stands a little apart, near the corner where the map has begun to curl back on itself.Â
Of course Aemon is there. Where Egg is found committing some impropriety, Aemon is often found nearby, either having warned against it or preparing to apologize for it.Â
âThe Water Gardens are near Sunspear,â Egg says, recovering. âEveryone knows that.âÂ
âYes,â Your sister concedes. âBut that still is not Sunspear.âÂ
Egg frowns at the map as though it has personally failed him.Â
Aemon looks down at the parchment. âSunspear is farther east.âÂ
Egg turns his head. âI knew that.âÂ
âYou were pointing west.âÂ
âI was finding it,â Egg looks back at the map. His ears have gone red, but his chin stays lifted. âThis is a bad map.âÂ
Your sister laughs once, not unkindly. âIt may be.âÂ
That is all she says. It is worse than if she had agreed fully.Â
Egg looks from her to Aemon with the betrayed expression of a boy who has discovered that blood may be precise at inconvenient times. Then he bends again over the map, unwilling to surrender the table simply because the country has not placed itself where he expected.Â
The table is too high for him to lean over with dignity, but he makes the attempt anyway. Both his hands settle on either side of Dorne as if he means to hold the whole country still long enough to understand it.Â
âIt looks possible like this.â He says after a short while.Â
Your sisterâs smile changes before she can make mockery of it. âWhat does?âÂ
Eggâs fingers move from the mountains to the coast.Â
âGoing.âÂ
No one answers at once.Â
Maekar feels the silence before he knows what to do with it.Â
It is not wisdom. Egg is not wise, not yet, not in any way that can be trusted to preserve his bones. The words are too young, too blunt, made of wanting before thought has properly shaped it. And still, they sit strangely in the room. Â
Dorne lies flat beneath his small hands, reduced to ink and road and coastline, near enough for a boy to cover half of it with his palm.Â
Going.Â
As if a life might be escaped by learning where to put oneâs finger first.Â
You look down at the map.Â
Until then, Maekar has thought you only politely entertained by the scene, drawn in by Eggâs insistence and your sisterâs amusement. Now something in your attention changes. Not softens. Sharpens.Â
Your fingers move to the river mouth.Â
âThat is wrong.â You say.Â
Aemon looks at you. âYes.âÂ
âAnd this,â Your hand shifts along the coast. âThat is not where the shore turns.âÂ
âNo.âÂ
Your sister leans closer, smile fading into interest. Egg straightens a little, pleased that the map has become guilty enough to absolve him.Â
âSo it is a bad map.â He states, almost a boast.Â
âIt is old.â Aemon says.Â
Egg looks at him. âThat can be both things.âÂ
Aemon considers the map, then nods once. âYes.âÂ
Egg looks briefly satisfied.Â
You do not. Your gaze remains on the false coast, the misplaced river, the little failures of ink by which some dead hand has made your home strange in a Targaryen room.Â
âShow me.â You request.Â
Aemonâs hand stills where it rests near the rolled edge of the map. It is a small hesitation, so small that Maekar would not have noticed it three days ago.Â
Now -may the Gods curse Mors Martell- he notices.Â
Aemon steps forward because he has been asked, and because Aemon rarely refuses any duty once it is properly handed to him. He does not push Egg aside. He waits until Egg shifts, grudgingly, and then places two fingers on the map with care.Â
âSunspear is here,â He lists. âThe Water Gardens are close, but they are not marked. This road is badly copied. It should turn before it reaches the coast.âÂ
Your sister bends over the map. âThat road does turn. On newer maps.âÂ
Eggâs hand creeps back toward the mountains. Your sister catches his wrist before he can crease the parchment. âCareful.âÂ
âI am being careful.âÂ
âYou are leaning on it.âÂ
Egg lifts his hand at once, offended but obedient. âIt keeps moving.âÂ
Aemon reaches for a map weight and sets it near the curling edge before Egg can turn the correction into another argument.Â
You watch the gesture. Then you look back at the coast.Â
âHow do you know?â You ask.Â
Aemon looks up.Â
The question has been asked plainly. Not indulgently, not as one asks a child to repeat a lesson for the pleasure of seeing whether he has retained it. But not tenderly either. You want to know because the map is wrong, because Dorne has been made wrong in front of you, and Aemon appears to know the shape of the error.Â
Aemon glances once at Egg.Â
Egg is already touching another part of the map. âIs this the Boneway?âÂ
âNot even close.â Your sister answers.Â
Egg squints. âIt could be.âÂ
âIt is not.âÂ
âYou cannot tell from there.âÂ
âI am from there.âÂ
Aemon lowers his eyes again.Â
For a moment, Maekar thinks that will be the end of it. Aemon will let the question pass. He will stand there, useful and silent, while Egg fills the room by the simple method of putting his hands on everything in it.Â
But your gaze remains on him.Â
âYou were saying, my Prince?âÂ
Aemonâs fingers move once against the parchment.Â
âThe coast is wrong,â He says after a moment. âHere. And here. Some older Stormlander copies place the Planky Town too far north, because the river mouth was copied from another chart. Maester Ormond says that happens often. A mistake is copied, and then the copy is copied, and after a while men trust it because it looks old enough to be trusted.âÂ
Your sister looks down at the chart with fresh suspicion. âSomeone was lazy, then.âÂ
âPerhaps,â Aemon says. âOr far away.âÂ
That quiets her more effectively than correction.Â
Egg leans in again. âThen I was not entirely wrong.âÂ
âYou were pointing at Salt Shore.â Aemon reminds him.Â
âBut on a map you just said was wrong.âÂ
âI said the coast was wrong. Salt Shore is still Salt Shore.âÂ
Egg considers this, mouth pressed tight with the effort of deciding whether the distinction is fair.Â
Maekar remains outside the door.Â
The corridor is dimmer than the room, and the map table lies in a clean square of afternoon light. Dust turns slowly above it whenever someone moves. Egg is all movement, all claim, a boy trying to press his body into a country made of ink. He wants to be at the table, that much is plain. He wants his wrong guesses answered, not dismissed. He wants Dorne to remain possible even after it has been corrected out from under his hand.Â
âHave you been there?â Egg asks.Â
âTo the Water Gardens?â Your sister asks.Â
âTo all of it.âÂ
âAll of Dorne?âÂ
âYes.âÂ
âNo, I havenât.âÂ
Egg looks disappointed by this, though he tries to hide it by studying the map more sternly. âBut more than here.âÂ
Your sister looks at him. The amusement has not left her entirely, but it no longer sits so easily in her mouth.Â
âYes,â She says. âMore than here.âÂ
Egg looks around the map room as if seeing it briefly through her eyes: the narrow windows, the old wood, the careful shelves, the air held cool and still around dead menâs borders. His mouth tightens, then loosens too quickly.Â
âI could go.â He says suddenly.Â
âTo Dorne?âÂ
Egg looks down at the map. His fingers curl against the edge of the table, not touching the parchment now because he has been told not to.Â
âWhy not? I am a prince.âÂ
The words are too large for him and not large enough for what he means.Â
Maekar should enter then.Â
He should correct the familiarity, or Eggâs posture, or the knee hooked over the chair, or the careless certainty with which his youngest son speaks of escaping his home in front of guests. He should remind him that princehood is not license.Â
Instead, he watches Aemon.Â
Aemon has not moved away.Â
He is still near the table, one finger holding the edge of the map flat. His eyes are on the place he corrected, though the conversation has moved on without needing him. You notice the same thing, or perhaps you never stopped noticing. Your attention returns to him not with softness, but with the same directness you gave the map.Â
âWould you like to see it?â You ask.Â
Egg answers first, of course. Â
âYes,â Your eyes remain on Aemon. Egg catches the direction of your attention and stops. âOh.âÂ
Aemon lifts his head. âI have not been asked to go.âÂ
âThat was not what I asked.âÂ
It is mild. It is not a rebuke. Somehow that makes Aemon take longer with the answer.Â
Maekar thinks of Daeron before he can stop himself. Daeron would have given two answers by now, and neither would have touched the question. He wonders idly what will be of his sonâs diversions when faced with one that does not care for them.Â
Maekar waits for Aemon to say what he ought to say. That the Citadel is his intended road. That Oldtown will have enough for any mind made properly grateful. That boys do not choose journeys because a country looks warm on a map. That wanting is not the measure by which a princeâs life is arranged.Â
Aemon looks at the map.Â
âI would like to see a better copy.â He says.Â
Your sister makes a small disappointed sound. Egg shifts against the table, impatient with the answer but not surprised by it.Â
But you smile.Â
Not brightly, not the sudden laugh you had given Daeron by the tapestry. This is smaller, almost private, a recognition of the shape of an answer that has come slantwise because it did not know whether it was allowed to arrive directly.Â
âI will ask my father if he brought one.â You promise.Â
Aemon blinks in response.Â
Again, small. Too small.Â
Maekar sees it anyway.Â
âYou need not trouble him.â Aemon attempts, but there is a glint in his eye.Â
âIt is no trouble. He brought more than one map.âÂ
âTo correct people?â Egg asks.Â
âTo know where he is.â You correct.Â
That lands differently.Â
Your sisterâs hand stills on the map weight. Egg looks back at the map as if this, too, is something a country might allow a boy to learn. Aemonâs gaze remains lowered, but the corner of his mouth shifts once and is gone.Â
Not quite a smile.Â
Near enough.Â
The room receives it without ceremony. No one stops to praise him for wit. No one seems startled that he has spoken. No one makes use of the almost-smile by naming it. You only bend back over the map, your finger finding another uncertain line.Â
âAnd here?âÂ
Aemon begins to step back.Â
Then he stops.Â
He looks at the place you mean. Then at you. Then back at the map.Â
âThere.â he says, softer, and leans forward again.Â
That is all.Â
It should not be enough to trouble Maekar.Â
He has seen Aemon at lessons, at the  table, beside Baelor, near his brothers. He has seen the boy answer correctly, gently, and at proper length when called upon, then fall silent with the grace of someone closing a door before anyone thinks to ask it shut. He has called it discipline, he has called it temperament, he has called it wisdom beyond his years, when he was in a mood to be generous, and good sense when he was not.Â
Now Aemon stands in the map room with one finger on Dorne and stays because he has been asked another question.Â
Eggâs voice rises again, lower than before but no less insistent, as your sister tries to roll the map away from his hand. He protests, not loudly enough to be insolent and not softly enough to be ignored.Â
âI was looking at it.âÂ
âYou were bending the corner.âÂ
âI was remembering where it was.âÂ
Your sister pauses, the map half-rolled beneath her hands.Â
âIt will be there tomorrow.â She reminds him.Â
Egg does not answer at once.Â
Maekar cannot see his face clearly from the passage. Only the set of his shoulders, the hand hovering over the map and then drawing back, fingers closing on themselves instead.Â
You say something Maekar does not catch. Aemon answers, low and careful.Â
Maekar steps back from the door.Â
No one in the room looks up.Â
That should reassure him. It means he has not been caught lingering, it means nothing improper has occurred, it means his sons are where they should be, attended by guests of a good House and watched by one another. It means Egg has found novelty and Aemon has found use for his learning.Â
He walks down the corridor with the sound of Eggâs voice following him.Â
Egg, he can explain too quickly. That is the trouble. He has explanations ready for Egg before the boy has finished moving: insolence, idleness, indulgence, restlessness, youth.Â
But the boy had looked at Dorne on parchment and said it looked possible.Â
Aemon had said no such thing. Aemon had only stayed when space was made for him.Â
Maekar is not sure which of them Mors would count first.Â
By the sixth evening, Mors Martellâs accusation has become a burr under Maekarâs skin.Â
It follows him through his own halls and catches where it should not. Daella with her questions, Egg with both hands on a map of Dorne, Aemon staying when another question is asked. Maekar has begun to look for Morsâs eldest daughter before he admits he is looking, as if one more room might give him the proof to lay the whole ugly thing to rest.Â
Instead, he finds you on the terrace with Aerion.Â
The supper has ended, though not the evening. Voices remain in the gallery behind him, softened by wine and heat and the relief of ceremony loosening its grip. The doors to the terrace stand open because the night is clear enough for it, and because the Martells, impossible people, seem to think any room improved by allowing the outside to enter it. Beyond the balustrade, Summerhall falls away into dark slopes and a sky pricked with early stars. Torches burn near the steps, their light moving over stone, over the low wall, over the small gathering of guests taking air beneath the watch of servants and guards.Â
Daeron is inside, Maekar has already marked him: near the hearth, caught between two of Lady Martellâs ladies in waiting and an aunt by marriage whose name Maekar has not troubled to remember. He holds a cup he has not emptied and wears the expression of a man listening carefully to his own execution. Every so often one of the women asks him something, and Daeron answers with courtesy that still looks like surrender.Â
You stand near the far end of the terrace, one hand resting on the stone rail. The other gathers your sleeve against the evening chill. You are looking outward, not at the view exactly, but at the darkness beyond the reach of the torches, as if measuring how far a place can go before a house stops pretending to contain it.Â
Aerion stands a few paces away, angled toward the balustrade as though the conversation has merely found him there by accident. He has a cup in hand and a smile on his face. The cup has not been touched, and the smile is worse for having no heat in it.Â
Maekar stops just inside the open doors.He should turn back.Â
He does not.Â
Aerion says something Maekar cannot hear. You answer, quieter still. Your face is composed, but your shoulder has set in a way Maekar recognizes from court women asked to endure a man they cannot yet escape without making the escape visible.Â
Aerionâs smile deepens.Â
He has found something.Â
Maekar knows that smile. He has seen it across practice yards, at tables, in doorways where servants stood too still and younger boys went silent. Aerion smiles that way when a thing has answered to the point of the knife.Â
âYou mistake me,â Aerion says, clear enough now for the words to carry. âI mean no insult.âÂ
Your head turns slightly toward him. âThat must be inconvenient for you.âÂ
The answer is sharper than Maekar expects from you.Â
Aerion laughs under his breath, pleased despite himself. Or because of himself. âThere. I knew it was not only Dornish heat.âÂ
You look at him fully then.Â
That is the mistake, if it is a mistake. You give him your full attention for one breath too long, and Aerion sees it, of course he does. His body changes around it, not much: a shift of weight, a little easing at the mouth, the settling attention of an animal that has heard movement in the brush.Â
âOne can see it, in certain lights,â He says, a drawl to his voice, entirely too self-satisfied. âThe blood of the dragon does not vanish so easily.âÂ
The air between you seems to cool.Â
Behind Maekar, someone in the gallery laughs at something unrelated. A servant passes with a tray and does not look toward the terrace. The little movement of the evening continues around the place where Aerion has set his hook.Â
âMy father would say Dorne has managed well enough with its own blood.â You say, almost casually.Â
âFathers say comforting things.âÂ
âSome do.âÂ
The words land where you aimed them, perhaps, but not only there.Â
Maekar feels them strike and cannot be certain whether you know what you have touched. You are looking at Aerion, not at him. Your voice holds no special meaning for the father standing in the doorway. It is only an answer to a prince who has made a trophy out of ancestry.Â
Aerionâs eyes narrow with amusement. He understands enough to enjoy the wound even if he did not choose its depth.Â
âThen yours is charitable,â He says. âBut mine tends toward accuracy.âÂ
âDoes he?âÂ
Maekarâs hand tightens once against the doorframe.Â
Aerion turns the cup in his fingers. The torchlight catches on the rim and on the pale fall of his hair. He is a handsome boy, and that has always been part of the danger. Cruelty sits more easily on a beautiful face. People forgive it longer, or call it brilliance until it draws blood from someone important.Â
âMy father,â Aerion says, something like steel under the words, âknows what strength looks like.âÂ
You glance, very briefly, toward the gallery. Not far enough to find Maekar. Far enough to remind Aerion there are listeners, whether he cares for them or not.Â
âAnd does he see it in you often?âÂ
That should have ended it.Â
A wiser boy would have taken offense. A duller one would have missed the insult. A gentler one would have been hurt by it and stepped back.Â
Aerion only smiles.Â
He moves then, not closer at first. Sideways, along the balustrade, his free hand brushing the stone as if he is idly testing the cold of it. The movement has no purpose except not to be still. He looks out at the dark beyond the terrace, then back at you, then down into his cup. Â
If he were bored, he could leave. If he were offended, he could leave. If he had come only to insult you, he has done enough.Â
He remains.Â
âYou know,â He continues, âPrincess Daenerys must have had admirable patience.âÂ
Your face does not change. âFor marrying into Dorne?âÂ
âFor listening to Dorne call it an alliance.âÂ
The insult is clearer this time. Less elegant for being so.Â
Your hand stays on the balustrade. âWhat would you call it?âÂ
âA dragon entering a lesser House?â Aerion asks. âA gift, if the lesser House has sense enough to be grateful.âÂ
âA marriage.â You correct.Â
Aerionâs mouth curves. âYou say that as if the word changes what was given.âÂ
âNo. I say it as if a woman is not a cup passed from one table to another.âÂ
For the first time, the line cuts cleanly enough that Aerion goes still.Â
Only for a heartbeat.Â
Maekar sees it because he is watching for it now. He sees the moment Aerionâs pleasure nearly becomes something else. Not hurt, Aerion does not allow hurt where anyone can see it. But the answer reaches him, it meets him somewhere. Â
Then he laughs.Â
Small. Almost approving.Â
âYou will do well here.â He states, as if he has any wisdom with which to say it.Â
âI doubt you mean that kindly.âÂ
âI rarely mean things kindly.âÂ
âIs that something you take pride in, my Prince?âÂ
Aerionâs gaze fixes on you.Â
The torch nearest him snaps softly in the wind. Light moves over his face and leaves half of it in shadow. He looks older in that uneven light. Older, and less finished than he pretends. Â
For a moment Maekar sees the restlessness underneath the practiced cruelty: a thing pacing the bars of itself, biting whatever comes close enough and then furious when the hand withdraws.Â
The thought is intolerable, and Maekar rejects it at once.Â
Aerion has been corrected. Taught, watched, punished when punishment was required, praised when praise could be given without feeding the worst of him. He has skill, rank, a future, every advantage a prince of the blood can reasonably be granted without handing him a city to burn for amusement.Â
If Aerion is alone, he has made much of the distance himself.Â
That should be enough.Â
It is not, because Mors has made sure nothing is enough anymore.Â
You turn slightly away from Aerion, toward the steps back into the gallery. The conversation has lasted long enough, more than long enough. Your civility remains intact, but only just. Maekar sees the effort in the line of your neck, the controlled way your hand leaves the balustrade, the small adjustment of your sleeve before you move. You do not flee, you do not excuse yourself with too much sweetness, instead you simply begin to end it.Â
Aerion lets you take two steps.Â
Then he says, âDoes it trouble you?âÂ
You stop.Â
Maekar almost curses aloud.Â
Aerion has not raised his voice, he has not made a scene. That is the skill of it. He leaves the question there, low enough that you may pretend not to have heard it, shaped enough that pretending will cost you.Â
You look back.Â
Aerionâs eyes are bright now, fixed entirely on you.Â
âThe dragon in you,â He taunts. âDoes it trouble you, or only being reminded?âÂ
The silence after that is very thin.Â
Your fingers close once in the loose fall of your sleeve. Anger. He has found it and he knows he has found it, not because he understands you, but because he understands where pride flinches when struck.Â
âMy blood does not trouble me,â You say, chin held a bit higher. âMen who think blood is the only true thing about me trouble me. Briefly.âÂ
Aerion smiles again.Â
There should be satisfaction in it, triumph. There is some. Maekar knows triumph in that boy; he has seen it often enough to wish it rarer. But this is not only that. Aerion looks pleased, yes, but not complete. Answered, and already hungry for the next answer. Met, and immediately restless with the silence that follows.Â
You turn back toward the gallery.Â
This time Aerion lets you go.Â
That may be the most unsettling part.Â
He does not follow, he does not call another insult after you, he does not press until the room is forced to notice and correct him. He only watches you cross the terrace, your face composed again before you pass the first servant, your steps measured, your anger tucked beneath courtesy because you have been raised well enough to carry a blade without showing its edge.Â
You enter through the open doors. Maekar steps aside before you reach him.Â
For an instant, your gaze meets his.Â
You know he has seen something. Not all of it, perhaps. Not the shape of Morsâs accusation inside him, not the way Daella, Egg, and Aemon have already made a ruin of his denials. You only see a father standing where he should not quite be standing, having watched one son do what that son does.Â
Your face closes further.Â
âMy Prince.â You greet. The courtesy is flawless.Â
Maekar inclines his head in response.Â
Across the gallery, Daeron has looked up. He is still where Maekar last saw him, caught among Martell women who have decided to interrogate him. One of them is speaking to him but Daeron does not seem to hear the end of it.Â
His eyes find you first, then move past you to the terrace doors, to Aerion.Â
When he looks back, your mouth has gone flat in a way too small for anyone else to read. Daeronâs expression changes by less than a smile, less than amusement; only a brief, tired acknowledgement, as if you have handed him a complaint he has been carrying for years.Â
Then one of the women beside him touches his sleeve to reclaim his attention, and he lowers his eyes at once. Â
Maekar sees it. He wishes, immediately and cravenly, that he had not.Â
You pass into the gallery, where voices receive you without knowing what they have been spared. After a moment, your sisterâs voice rises from somewhere near the hearth, calling you toward some matter of fabric or laughter or both. You answer her, and if there is anger left in your voice, it is gone before anyone else can claim it.Â
Maekar remains by the doors.Â
On the terrace, Aerion has not moved.Â
He stands with his cup still in hand, turned halfway toward the darkness now. His profile is sharp against the torchlight. He looks, for a moment, as though he has forgotten there are other people in the world.Â
Then he smiles to himself.Â
Not softly, never that. But...privately.Â
Maekar feels a cold irritation move through him.Â
Aerion had wanted to wound you. That was true. He had wanted to test you, to catch at your pride, to drag your blood through his own understanding of it until Dorne became something he could correct.Â
But his son had not left after the first cut. He had not even left after the second. He had circled and returned, not bored, not satisfied, not finished. He had made the conversation hostile because hostility was the only shape in which he knew how to ask another person to stay with him.Â
No. Maekarâs jaw tightens. Not ask.Â
Aerion does not ask. He takes, provokes, corners, tests the line of another personâs patience until either they retreat and prove themselves lesser, or they answer and become, for a moment, real to him. It is an ugly thing.Â
It is also a lonely one.Â
Mors, Maekar thinks, with a sudden and exhausted violence, should have kept his mouth shut.Â
Aerion lifts his cup at last and drinks.Â
Then he looks back toward the gallery, toward the place where you disappeared, as if silence has already disappointed him.Â
By the eve of the wedding, Maekar knows better than to call it accident.Â
He has watched his eldest son for days now, though he would not have named it watching at first. A father observes, a prince evaluates, a host takes note of where a delicate match may fracture before the vows have been spoken. There are enough names for the habit that Maekar has no need to choose the ugliest one.Â
Still, he has watched.Â
He watched Daeron in the courtyard on the day of the Martellsâ arrival, his hand bared too quickly, the glove crushed wrong in his other fist. He watched him in the gallery afterward, a cup of wine lifted and lowered and never touched while Morsâs daughter asked him whether the wine was so bad. He watched Daeron lead you toward a tapestry with no plan except the poor, visible hope of keeping your attention a moment longer. He watched your laugh catch him unguarded. He watched the smile answer on Daeronâs face before the boy remembered he had a father in the room.Â
Since then, Maekar has watched smaller things.Â
Daeron standing near one door because you were beside another. Daeron leaving a room only after you had already gone. Daeron looking toward your voice and away again, as if the first movement were involuntary and the second a punishment for it. Daeronâs cup untouched one evening and emptied too quickly the next. Daeron arriving clean-mouthed to supper with too much care in the line of his shoulders, then disappearing before the final course because some effort had spent itself past use.Â
None of it is proof of anything.Â
Maekar knows better than most men how little appetite needs in order to dress itself as feeling. Daeron has wanted before. Wanted wine, wanted escape, wanted women he did not have to see again, wanted doors, dark corners, morning to come without demanding an account of the night. Wanting has never made him less careless, it has only given his carelessness finer names.Â
And yet.Â
Mors Martellâs words remain.Â
Six children, and each one alone.Â
Maekar finds Daeron in the gallery after supper, surrounded by women.Â
For one terrible breath, the shape of it throws another room over this one.Â
A low ceiling, heat trapped beneath poor shutters. Perfume gone sour with sweat and spilled wine. A woman laughing before she understood who had entered. Red cloth underfoot, or perhaps only a rug made red by candlelight. Daeron half-reclined against cushions, his hair loose, his shirt unlaced badly enough that someone elseâs hand must have done part of the work. Not asleep, but not awake in any way that mattered. His mouth red from wine, his eyes slow to find his father, a womanâs fingers still resting on his sleeve as if she had forgotten him the moment he stopped being amusing.Â
Maekar had stood in the doorway and felt anger come first.Â
And thank the Gods for anger. Anger had been clean, anger had given him a shape to put around the thing: disgrace, indiscipline, filth, weakness, shame carried in Targaryen skin. Anger had let him order Daeron upright, it had let him pay what needed paying, silence what needed silencing, drag his son back into the world where names had consequences.Â
He had not thought of loneliness then. Why would he have? Â
The room had been full of people.Â
The gallery returns by degrees.Â
High ceiling, tapestries, beeswax. Wine poured into good cups. Martell women in silk and warm colors, clustered near Daeron with the bright, dangerous courtesy of relatives examining the man to whom one of their own will be given by morning. They are not unkind, they are curious, amused, skeptical in the way women can afford to be when they have decided a man must answer before he is trusted.Â
Daeron stands among them like a man enduring a trial.Â
He is dressed correctly. Beautifully, even, though Maekar dislikes the word for him. The dark doublet sits well across his shoulders. His hair has been tied back with enough care to suggest either vanity or terror. One glove is on. The other is absent. Not forgotten, surely. Daeron forgets many things, but rarely the small instruments by which he manages to face a room.Â
His bare hand holds a cup.Â
That is the first thing Maekar notices.Â
Not wine in itself. Wine has been in Daeronâs hand so often that it might as well be another inherited jewel. But the way he holds it now. His fingers curl around the stem with careful pressure, not tight enough to tremble, not loose enough to seem careless. The cup gives the hand a duty, something to hold, something to explain why it is visible.Â
One of Morsâs cousins asks him whether he has spent much time in Kingâs Landing. Another, older, asks whether Summerhall is always so cold in the evenings.Â
âIn the evenings, yes, my Lady.â Daeron says.Â
âYou say that as if the days are better.âÂ
âThey are warmer.âÂ
âA loyal answer, my Prince.âÂ
Daeronâs mouth moves, almost a smile. âI am told loyalty is a virtue.âÂ
The older woman studies him over the rim of her cup. She is not displeased, exactly, but she is also not satisfied. The Martell women have not come to this corner of the gallery for compliments about the weather.Â
âAnd do you ride?â She asks, dark eyes trailing over a nearby hunting scene in the tapestry.Â
Maekar feels the question land before Daeron answers.Â
Daeronâs fingers turn the cup once. âNot well.âÂ
âWere you not taught?âÂ
âOften,â There is a small pause. Daeron lowers his eyes toward the wine. âI was given every opportunity to do it better.âÂ
That changes the air around him. Only slightly. The older woman looks at him more carefully now. Perhaps she hears the admission, perhaps she hears only the self-mockery he has left polished for her convenience.Â
âAnd still you did not?â She asks. She is not asking about riding, and he is certain his son is sober enough to understand that.Â
Daeronâs mouth moves again. This time the smile does not arrive. âNo, my Lady.âÂ
He gives her nothing more.Â
Maekarâs jaw tightens.Â
There. That is Daeron too. A door opened half an inch and then held shut from the inside. An answer that asks not to be pressed and resents the mercy if it is granted. His sonâs failures have always made demands even in their confession. Look, but not closely. Hear me, but do not answer. Know what I am, and then leave before I make the knowing your fault.Â
One of the younger women asks something about the galleries. Whether he knows them well, whether he will show them to you properly after the wedding, since he has apparently already shown you one corner and abandoned the rest of his duty.Â
Daeron looks toward you.Â
This time, you have heard.Â
Maekar sees it happen: the slight lift of your head, your gaze cutting across the room toward Daeron, your sister still speaking beside you and then stopping when she realizes she has lost you. Daeron meets your eyes before he can arrange his face into anything safer.Â
For one brief instant, the gallery narrows between you.Â
Nothing improper passes, nothing anyone could name. You do not smile, not really, and Daeron does not either. But your mouth flattens in a way that makes something exhausted and almost amused move through his face. It is a beginning of a language, too small to be caught by anyone not already cursed into watching.Â
Maekar catches it.Â
He wishes, again, that he had not.Â
A few nights earlier, after the matter with Aerion on the terrace, Maekar had seen a look much like it. You crossing back into the gallery with anger tucked so cleanly beneath courtesy that only the line of your neck betrayed it. Daeron, caught among your women even then, glancing from your face to the terrace doors and back again. The slight change in your expression, no more than a complaint carried without words; and Daeronâs answer, less than a smile, more tired than amused.Â
Yes, his face had said then. I know.Â
Or perhaps Maekar had imagined it. He finds he does not think so.Â
Now you look at Daeron across the room while the question about the gallery remains unanswered.Â
You touch your sisterâs wrist, murmur something to her, and cross the room without haste. No one could call it rescue, that is precisely why it works. You come to the circle as if you have meant to join it all along, as if there is nothing unusual about a bride returning to the place where her betrothed is being measured by her kin.Â
Daeron watches you come.Â
He does not brighten. That would be easier to despise. He does not relax. He holds himself still, and the stillness is so complete that Maekar can see the work inside it. The cup remains in his hand. His bare fingers do not shift now. The whole body waits as if waiting were a discipline that might save him from wanting the arrival too much.Â
You stop beside the older woman first.Â
âAunt Dorea,â You say, âMy mother was asking for you.âÂ
The womanâs gaze flicks toward the hearth. âWas she?âÂ
âShe said your name twice. The second time sounded less patient.âÂ
That earns a few smiles from the women around you, familiar rather than bright. The older woman gives you a look that contains both affection and suspicion.Â
âYou have come to steal him from us.âÂ
âNo,â You retort with ease. âOnly to make certain you leave something of him for tomorrow.âÂ
Daeron lowers his eyes for a moment.Â
Gratitude, perhaps. Embarrassment. Perhaps both.Â
You do not look at him while it happens. You are still speaking with your aunt, still part of the womenâs circle, still making the shift seem like family business rather than intervention. The older woman lets herself be drawn away after another remark from one of the cousins, and the pressure around Daeron changes.Â
Before, he stood at the center of their attention, and now he stands beside you.Â
It is a small difference, but it is everything.Â
The questions loosen. Someone asks you about the cloth your sister had been holding, someone says your mother will only become more impatient if she is made to wait. Your sister calls from across the room, too low for Maekar to make out the words, and you answer her with a small lift of your hand. Daeronâs mouth moves at that, small and involuntary, and you glance at him once as if to check whether he is still intact.Â
He does not touch you.Â
Maekar notices that too.Â
Daeron has known how to take liberties when wine and shame have made a lesser room of the world. Maekar knows this because he has had men whisper it to him, and because he has dragged proof of it home before dawn with fury holding his dignity together. His son is not innocent of bodies, he is not some trembling boy who has never learned the uses of charm and skin and a lowered voice.Â
Yet here, beside the woman he will marry in the morning, he stands as if even the space between your sleeves must be respected.Â
His hand remains on the cup. Bare. Occupied. Exposed.Â
You say something Maekar cannot hear. Daeron bends his head slightly toward you. Not much. Enough regardless.Â
He answers quietly.Â
You look at him while he speaks, and Daeronâs gaze holds for half a breath before it drops to the cup again. The wine inside it has gone still, he has not drunk. Maekar does not know when he stopped wanting to, or whether wanting has anything to do with it.Â
Perhaps that is a lie. Wanting has everything to do with it.Â
Daeron wants to be there.Â
The realization comes so plainly that Maekar nearly refuses it on instinct.Â
His son wants the place you have made beside you. He wants it with the same body that has wanted wine, escape, sleep without dreams, hands without memory, laughter that costs nothing because it is bought and gone by morning. He wants it badly enough to make stillness out of himself. Badly enough to fear every sign of it showing. Even while standing there, he looks prepared for the place to be taken away.Â
That is what Maekar had not understood.Â
Daeron does not look less alone beside you. He looks alone differently, As if the room has given him something and he has already begun teaching himself how to survive its loss.Â
The thought is unbearable in its own way.Â
Maekar had meant to give his son a marriage. A house, a wife, a future with hands enough in it to pull him back from the worst of himself. He had meant to place a shape around Daeronâs life that Daeron might not be able to slip through easily. Duty could hold where desire failed, habit could keep what affection could not be trusted to begin.Â
He had not meant for Daeron to look at one young woman as if the whole room might go dark when she turned away.Â
Across the gallery, Mors Martell has gone quiet.Â
Maekar sees him only because he has learned, these past days, to resent every place the manâs attention lands. Mors stands near Baelor, a cup loose in his hand, no smile on his face now. He is not watching his daughter only, he is watching Daeron stand beside her.Â
There is no triumph in him.Â
That is almost worse. If Mors looked satisfied, Maekar could hate him properly. If he looked smug, Maekar could sharpen himself on the insult and be done with it. But Mors looks only grave, and for one breath the old friend from the war is there beneath the Dornish prince: the man who had once known how to see blood on another manâs sleeve and say nothing until saying something would keep him upright.Â
Mors does not speak. Maekar looks away first.Â
His gaze moves through the room because he needs somewhere else to put it.Â
Daella is with your sister near the hearth, explaining something with both hands despite the septaâs distant disapproval. Rhae has fallen half-asleep against Lady Clarisseâs side. Egg is near one of the windows, being prevented by Aemon from opening it wider than the servants will tolerate. Aemon says something low, and Egg protests, but only half-heartedly. Aerion stands apart with his cup, sharp and bored and listening too closely to pretend he is not.Â
Six children.Â
Maekar has provided for them.Â
The thought rises old and armed.Â
He has. He knows he has. Rooms, guards, tutors, horses, maesters, marriages, futures. He has kept the roof over them and the name before them. He has buried their mother and not followed her into the earth, though there were mornings after Dyanna when remaining seemed less like strength than a sentence passed by children too young to understand they had spoken it. He has done what fathers do when there is no softness left in them and too many lives still requiring shape.Â
Across the room, Daeron shifts. Only slightly.Â
One of the Martell women has drawn you into another question. You turn your head to answer. The movement takes your attention from him, nothing more. It is ordinary, necessary. Daeronâs place beside you remains exactly as it was.Â
Still, his hand tightens around the cup.Â
Maekar sees it.Â
Then you move your elbow a fraction, not touching him, only leaving the space beside you intact, making it clear by remaining there that the place has not closed merely because you have turned your face elsewhere.Â
Daeronâs fingers loosen.Â
He does not look at you. But he remains.Â
There is no grace in it that a singer would notice, no vow, no clasped hands, no sudden mending of what has been broken longer than you have known his name. Only Daeron standing where you have made room for him, careful as a man allowed near a flame he expects to be burned by and cannot make himself leave.Â
Maekar watches from the doorway.Â
He waits for the old word to come. Weakness.Â
It has always come easily. Easier than fear. Easier than grief. Easier than the thing in him that wants to seize Daeron by the shoulder and shake sense into him, or hold him there, or drag him away before hope makes another ruin no father can repair.Â
The word does not come.Â
Across the room, Daeron does not touch his betrothed. He only stands where you have made room for him, one hand curled around a cup he has forgotten to drink from.Â
Maekar watches his son remain there.Â
For once, he does not call it weakness.
As you can see, you shouldn't be fooled by Daeron's perspective. The man hasn't been chill about his betrothed/wife for one second. Thank you for reading!













