Madatobi AU w/ Zetsu still meddling + paranoid Madara
Madara should be happy, his and Hashirama’s dream having finally been realized, his brother is still by his side thanks to his friend’s healing abilities, and tension between him and the other Senju brother seems to be lessening. But he can’t help but feel something is off.
It doesn’t affect him much initially. He’s much too busy helping build the village and managing other important matters as clan head. He does worry a bit about his worsening vision and if he and Izuna will be able to continue protecting Konoha as their eyes deteriorate. However, his fear vanishes once Tobirama approaches them with seals that can restore their eyesight. That’s enough for Madara to start to forgive him for harming his brother, and maybe he catches some feelings for the younger Senju as well…
A few years later and he’s the happiest he’s ever been. While helping run the village hasn’t been easy, he wouldn’t trade this peace for anything. He and Tobirama have been courting for some time now (Madara wants to marry him but he would never rush his beloved) and despite their constant squabbling the whole village can tell just how deeply devoted they are to each other.
Which is why it’s such a surprise when Madara starts feeling slightly “off” again. He first assumes it's from exhaustion. Those damn Senju brothers are always complaining about his chronic eye bags, insisting he needs more sleep. Yet neither his eye bags nor anxiety diminish with rest…
Then he assumes it must simply be him feeling out of place. He’s gotten like this before he supposes, it’s natural for him to feel antsy when he doesn’t have a clear goal. So he takes up a few more responsibilities, trying to find purpose to quell his growing sense of dread. Even Tobirama quips at him that he’s “never seen him so productive,” and while Madara doesn’t appreciate the backhanded compliment, he finds himself too preoccupied with the fact that the feeling STILL won’t go away.
He finally comes to the conclusion that he must be feeling this way for a reason. The fact that he’s the only one experiencing this paranoia further proves his theory. Clearly he’s been chosen in some capacity, for he is as intelligent as he is powerful (and not at alllll arrogant). The next logical step is to obviously try and interpret his uneasiness, even as it leads him to feel some disillusionment with the village. That can only mean that Madara was right, and that he should continue to investigate. For if there are flaws within Konoha why shouldn’t he confront them?
Of course others start to pick up on his odd behavior. With Tobirama being the first to notice, having known something was off with his partner since he had tried to fix his sleep schedule (because when has Madara ever been an orderly man??). He tries to think nothing of it, it’s not like he wants to possibly discourage a positive change with his skepticism. But then Madara starts to crowd himself with work instead, and now Tobirama rarely sees him during the day unless it’s for business, as if they’re only coworkers!!
He tries to minimize his concern, he really does. It’s already difficult for them to discuss their troubles, and with his partner's rapidly changing behavior he’s unsure what to even ask about. It’s only when Madara starts waking up randomly in the middle of the night that he truly starts to worry.
It’s not the same as when Madara awakens from nightmares, there’s no gloomy look on his face, his hands aren’t shaking, no, instead he’s alert. At first he assumes someone must have broken in, but upon scanning their bedroom he senses no other chakra signatures besides his and Madara’s. After a moment Madara just shakes his head and apologizes for waking him up.
The next couple times it happens Madara continues to dismiss it, pretending he’s going back to sleep even when Tobirama can clearly sense he’s still awake. It starts to affect him during the day as well, his mind seemingly elsewhere during important meetings, his work left half finished on his desk as he goes off to do who knows what. Tobirama finally confronts him about it properly once Madara tries to leave their room in the middle of the night, it probably isn’t even his first time doing it.
Madara’s so hyper focused on whatever he’s thinking about that Tobirama is forced to practically drag him back to bed before demanding to know what is wrong. So Madara finally spills, at least to the best of his ability, but he’s afraid that he sounds slightly mad when trying to explain what in particular has been bothering him. Tobirama tells him as much, wearing an expression that shows his own brand of worry.
Madara tries to reason with him, still convinced that he needs to follow this feeling, that he’s the only one who can understand it. Of course he’s shut down immediately, and Tobirama starts berating him on how full of himself he can be, but the concern is evident in his tone. And maybe it’s the fact that Madara’s never seen him so concerned before that allows him to finally concede.
Still, it’s not exactly easy for either of them to figure out what’s wrong, especially just between the two of them (they can’t risk the whole village thinking he’s gone mad). Maybe one particularly frustrating night has Madara confessing that sometimes, when he feels the most like his normal self, he wonders if it’s wiser to just end all of this. Because when he’s not feeling constantly on edge he’s overwhelmed by exhaustion and the fear that he may end up ruining the peace they worked so hard for.
That motivates Tobirama to tell the others and eventually they discover the cause. And while they defeat Zetsu with minimal damage, Madara is still left to grapple with the reality that something was altering his mind for so long. Months later and he still struggles to fall asleep, panics when he feels any inkling of anxiety, and neglects his responsibilities because he doesn’t trust his own decisions anymore.
Although this time he’s not alone with his thoughts. Tobirama is there for his restless nights, talking to him about anything to keep his mind off things, or silently comforting him when he needs that more. Hashirama keeps him out of the house, taking him drinking and gambling which distracts from any worries he could’ve had. And Izuna smacks him on the head whenever he slacks off, reminding him that he is the clan head, and yes, his opinions do matter regardless of what he thinks.
Over time he’s able to somewhat heal, gaining his confidence back (and unfortunately his ego as well). No one complains though, at least not to his face. Eventually he musters up the courage to plan a very elaborate proposal for Tobirama, partly as an apology for all he’s had to put up with in these past years lol.
Ummmmm they get married and happily ever after, the end. Idk I just really like whump Madara and there isn’t enough of it.
blakekathryn
gracieabrams
tangentwithtanner
romaincrisis
yousharknotpass
