The Nacho Aficionado!

It can be considered one of the great truths in life that Nachos are mankind’s greatest invention, just narrowly beating out the Wheel. Scientists will undoubtedly use the existence of Nacho's to gauge the level of intelligence on other planets. My Valiant quest is to test and judge every Nacho in existence. The variety inherent in Nacho composition makes this task an infinite one. Nachos have already consumed me to my core, making me the perfect candidate for this adventure. Come witness, fellow Nacho fans, as I document my thrilling exploits! I rate all Nachos on a scale of 1-5.1 – Terrible (never order these)2 –Substandard (usually has a major flaw)3 –Average Nacho (Enjoyable, but not exemplary)4 –Great Nacho (High quality, the type you seek out)5 – Perfect Nacho (Excels so well, it’s worth a road trip)  

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: York 2

Las Iguanas Rating: 2.5 Cost: £8.25 ($11.24 USD) Location: York, UK Customization: Yes, Added Chicken (+£2) Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, so I am posting all of the reviews contained on it.

After months of living in the UK, we once again got a craving for the Mexican food we missed so much from home. A quick survey of the local eateries brought up joint called Las Iguanas, a large chain restaurant spread throughout the UK. I'm always a little wary of chain restaurants, but the reviews were high, and I wanted to know if such a large establishment offered a salsa that wasn't sweet. The restaurant itself was a combination of slightly Mexican decorations and a very universal modern restaurant feel. The servers were kind, the establishment was clean, and the service was fast and attentive. The prices were pretty standard fare for this type of establishment. The foods available are very standard Mexican fare including such staples as Enchiladas, Burritos, Quesadillas and Chilli Con Carne. There were a few unique items that piqued my interest such as Brazillian Fried Chicken, Bahian Jackfruit Curry, and Moqueca De Palmitos. I didn't get them, mind you, as I was here for the Nachos.

Las Iguanas offers one type of Nachos with multiple customization Options. It should be noted that According to their menu, they can be ordered as Vegetarian, Gluten Free, and Dairy Free. They are comprised of a body of tortilla chips covered in melted cheese, Pico De Callo salsa, Jalapenos, Roasted tomato salsa, Sour Cream and Guacamole. For an additional £2 You can add either Shredded Chiptle Beef, Smoked Chipotle Chicken, or Refried Black Beans. I opted for the Chipotle Chicken. 

Over the last 6 months, I had seen a lot of different Nachos. Outside of the obvious toppings, there has been so much variety. From the color of the ingredients to the serving vessel itself, I really never knew what I was going to get. I gotta say, this Nacho was very attractive when it landed on my table, despite the flaws I noticed right away. The dark golden brown of the chips was very appetizing. The meat was also piled over the Nacho, something I hadn't really seen in ages. It wasn't all great though. I was disappointed at the small quantities of guac and sour cream, but nowhere near as disappointed as I was in the apparent lack of cheese. But lets not get focused on the aesthetics, as flavor is king when it comes to Nachos. The chips were crisp and had a nice depth of flavor to them. I was pleased to note the pickles were both pickled, and delicious. The chicken had a good spice flavor to it, but definitely felt like a reheated breast. Something I hate, but also expect from a chain restaurant. The Sour Cream was decent, but there was barely any of it to really get a good taste. The Guacamole was actually pretty good. I really appreciated that it had tomato chunks in it. But like the Sour Cream, there just wasn't enough of it. Now, how was the salsa? What do you expect, it tasted sweet. Like all the others in the UK. Yet, it was less sweet, and tasted considerably fresher. There was a more herbal quality to it, which helped make it taste better than most of the others I had in recent months. Ironically, as much as I complained about the small portion sizes of the Sour Cream and Guac, I feel the small portion size of salsa was perfect. It allowed me to taste it, but not affect the majority of my Nacho. I was able to scoop it to the side and forget about it. So, what was the biggest issue with this Nacho? Well, if you look again at the photo, there was barely any cheese on it at all. What’s up Europe? Why do y’all hate cheese so much? Most of the chips didn't have a single piece of cheese on them. When I did get cheese, it actually did taste good making it all that much worse. This Nacho could have had a decent review, but the lack of Cheese was borderline criminal.

  Bottom Line: Order them, but tell them extra cheese. Quadruple cheese. Its not a Nacho without cheese.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: York 1

Oscars Wine Bar and Bistro Rating: 2.5 Cost: £10.50 ($14.36 USD) Location: York, UK Customization: No  Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, so I am posting all of the reviews contained on it.

When my wife and I arrived in York we found ourselves in a predicament. We had a few hours to kill before meeting with our Landlord. The problem was we had our luggage and it was raining. We needed to find a restaurant that would be okay with us having our luggage with us. As you can imagine, few places would be interested, and why should they? Thankfully, we found a place that fit the bill towards the center of historic York. It was a quaint little Wine and Bar Bistro called Oscars. The waitress was incredibly kind and accommodating to our problem. It wasn't as bad as we thought, as we were a bit early for the lunch rush, so it wasn't too busy. The decor was nice and clean and very appropriate for the wine and bistro feel suggested by the title. Our focus was eating while killing time, so you can imagine my excitement when I discovered Nachos on their menu. Their menu was predominantly Roasts, Chicken, Burgers, and lots of items with Chilli in it. To be honest, the menu was a bit weird. Seeing Chile Con Carne next to Lasagna, as well as Nachos, and a Sunday Yorkshire pudding all on the same menu was unexpected. Yet, I feel like the Menu really agreed with my particular tastes. I wanted to try so many things on the menu, but my lifelong devotion to Nachos guided my hand. 

Oscar's offers a single Nacho known as the "Muchos Nachos." It is comprised of a body of chips covered in cheese, Sour Cream, Salsa, Guacamole, green onions, and "Oscar's Famous Chilli." Despite them claiming it came with Guacamole, my Nachos did not come with Guacamole. I did not complain, as they were already being so polite and accommodating of our luggage. 

The first thing I noticed was that the portion size was quite good. Enough for a large meal for 1, or great to share between 2 and 4 people as an appetizer. I was worried, considering how expensive the Nacho was that it would be far too small. Another thing that stood out was all the grated cheese on top of the nacho was unmelted. The chilli was still quite warm, and over the next few minutes most of that cheese had mostly melted. The cheese on the lower chips was appropriately melted. The portion of Sour Cream was quite large and it tasted alright. Now, the Salsa and Chilli had kind of melded into a single mass of red chunkiness. As we discovered from a previous Nacho in Manchester, Salsa in the UK is very sweet and very tomato forward. It also has very little heat. Combined with the ground beef and sweetness of their chilli, I can say that it tasted far closer to a spaghetti or Bolognese sauce than chilli or salsa. Its true, I felt like I was eating Nachos covered in a very meat heavy spaghetti sauce. You know what the funniest part was? It wasn't bad. It was pretty enjoyable actually. I was still disappointed, as it wasn't what I had imagined in my head when I ordered, but I won't let that keep me from enjoying a good thing. So it was a tomato forward, sweet, spaghetti like Nacho. I'd eat it again, but I would definitely need to be in the moon.

Bottom Line: Its a weird nacho. It tastes pretty good, but really doesn't taste very much like Nachos.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: Manchester 2

Crazy Pedros Rating: 2.5 Cost: £6 Small £15 Large ($8-20 USD) Location: Manchester, UK Customization: No Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, so I am posting all of the reviews contained on it.

While settling into the Northern Quarter of Manchester, we began to become familiar with many of local eateries. One that we grew extremely fond of was an eclectic underground (literally, below street level) pizza joint known as Crazy Pedros. The decor is incredible and outlandish, The clientele is lively and young, the cocktails are awesome, and the food is actually really great. Plus, they have pinball machines. We found ourselves regularly stopping by to share a pizza and have a few pints. Their pizza menu is as bizarre as their ambiance, with its interesting and elaborate topping combinations. Some of the more outlandish pizzas were the fried chicken and waffle pizza and the Gringo (Pulled Pork, Sweet Corn, and Sour Cream) Pizza. Although I don't expect to find Nachos at most pizza joints, the menu here made it far less shocking. 

Crazy Pedros offers 2 versions of their Nachos. Their first nacho comes in either a Large size, or a Ridiculous Size, which is actually served in a Trash Can lid. The second type they offer is their Pizza Nachos, which are the ridiculous Nachos with a "whole pizza of your choice chopped up and thrown in." As exciting as this sounded, we stuck with the large as we were planning on having normal slices as well (plus, It was £28!). Their Nachos are comprised of a body of chips with Jack Cheese, Jalapenos, Guacamole, Sour Cream, and a Sriracha sauce.

I was incredibly pleased to note that when the Nachos arrived they had the same presentation I came to expect of their pizzas. They didn't look lazy or conservative. This was junk food spared no expense. So lets get down to the details! The chips were plentiful, crispy, and tasty. The cheese was melted to perfection and covering virtually every square inch of the nacho. The jalapenos were also quite good. They were pickled as they should be, and sprinkled at appropriate areas throughout. Those are the highlights of the Nacho. Unfortunately, it started to fall off in the other aspects. The Sour Cream was far closer to a Crema than a traditional Sour Cream. It was also a bit bland for my tastes. The Guacamole felt a little over processed, and had a strong artificial taste. The Sriracha sauce is where the nacho really stumbled. Like the Salsa from the last place we visited in Manchester, the Sriracha sauce tasted more sweet than hot. It also had a strong Tomato forward flavor that overpowered the guacamole and sour cream flavors. In fact, it pretty much dominated the whole Nacho. I honestly think If I ordered these again, I would order it without the Sriracha sauce, and I think it would be a far better dish. Despite these complaints, it still felt like a guilty pleasure indulgence. I wasn't sad I got them, but I definitely preferred the Pizza that followed.

Bottom Line: They are worth a try, but don't expect anything revolutionary. Their specialty is their pizza, and that's what I would recommend everyone get instead.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: Manchester

Pie and Ale Rating: 1 Cost: £6.95 ($9.50 USD) Location: Manchester, UK Customization: Not Always On Menu Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, so I am posting all of the reviews contained on it.

This was a rather unexpected Nacho review, as we weren’t even looking to buy Nachos. We had just moved to England and we were in the process of discovering all the local eateries. We had a strong craving for Steak and Ale Pies and found a highly regarded area in the Northern Quarter a short walk from our flat called Pie and Ale. While perusing the menu, we were surprised to see Nachos listed. Most of their offerings fall in line with the Pie theme, but there were a few oddities. We were there for Pie, but what was the harm in having a little Nacho Appetizer? Before I commence with the review, let me first state that Pie and Ale became a staple of our time living in Manchester. The beer selection was good and cheap, the staff was awesome, and most importantly: the Pie’s were heavenly. We tried most of their pies throughout our visits, and each of them were incredible. I highly recommend this place to people looking to eat pies. Unfortunately, The nachos are a different story. It should also be mentioned that it doesn’t appear that the Nachos are always on the menu either. It seems like a dish that is only occasionally available. Before you read on, just know that the Nachos are not indicative of anything else at the restaurant. 

Pie and Ale only had one type of Nachos on their menu. The listing was standard fare, and were comprised of a body of chips with Cheese, Guacamole, Salsa, Sour Cream, and beef. 

When the Nacho arrived, I couldn’t help but think it looked like something a teenager would make after school. Half the chips on the plate were small broken bits. The cheese was only partially melted, distributed poorly, and severely lacking in presence. The Salsa looked like it was poured straight from a jar, and the meat looked like something scrounged from a previous meal. I’m here to tell you that it tasted like it looked. Bad. The chips were stale and mostly naked. The Salsa was very sweet tasting. We would discover of the next several months that Salsa, and Mexican food in general, is quite sweet in England. So, with that said, the Salsa might be what locals want, but it was quite terrible to me. The Guacamole tasted very artificial, and the Sour Cream was just ok. Despite all these disappointments, the worst part was yet to come. The Meat that we ordered appeared to just be dried meat shavings. Its almost as if they pulverized a cooked roast, dried it, then sautéed it. It had little flavor. This Nacho was incredibly disappointing. We only ate a little of it. To be honest, I was worried about the Pies we had ordered based on the quality of the Nacho. Thankfully, the pies that came were world class. We weren’t sure if the failure of the Nachos was due to cultural expectations of Nachos in England, lack of proper ingredients, or any number of things. We would learn some of these answers over the next few months as we ate other Nachos throughout England. 

In the end, I would highly recommend people going to Pie and Ale, but NOT to order their Nachos. Order a Pie and Ale like their name suggests. You won’t be disappointed.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: Dublin

Acapulco Mexican Restaurant Rating: 3.5 Cost: €11 ($13.35 USD) Location: Dublin, Ireland Customization: Yes, “Chilli Beef” Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, so I am posting all of the reviews contained on it.

By the time we made it to Dublin, it had been at least a month since we had any sort of Mexican food. As eager as we were to stuff ourselves on local Irish dishes, we decided to have some Mexican food to help with our jet lag. After all, we knew we were going to have many days of hearty Irish food to come. I found a highly rated Mexican restaurant called Acapulco that wasn’t too far from where we were staying. My two criteria were that it had decent ratings, and that they had Nachos on the menu. Acapulco has an interesting aesthetic. It has a lot of the modern restaurant vibes we had seen throughout Europe, but mixed with a more vintage Mexican décor. It was weird. It looked like nothing I had seen before, but I think that might have been the point. It was clean, and the wait staff was incredibly kind. The Prices seemed standard fare compared to most of the restaurants in the surrounding area. They were a bit high because it was a tourist heavy area. Their Menu has a good amount of variety and felt like a better representation of the cuisine than anything we had seen in Italy.

Acapulco has two Nachos on their menu. The Nacho Supreme and the Nachos Todos. They are identical, except the Todos has meat. The Nachos are a body of chips, cheese sauce, spring onions, jalapenos, salsa, guacamole, sour cream and your choice of Chicken or “Chilli” Beef. I went with the Beef option. 

When the Nachos arrived, I was surprised to see it come in a bowl type dish. It’s a very uncommon practice, usually because it forces all the toppings to gravitate towards the center, resulting in mushy chips. Ignoring that, the Nacho was extremely attractive. It felt like it was very carefully constructed despite the few dry chips around the edge. I really enjoyed the portions of Guacamole and Beef. What it was lacking was cheese. So the chips were crispy and tasted good. The guacamole was smooth and decently flavored. I would have appreciated a little more lime in it though. The Sour Cream actually tasted like Sour Cream, which is hard to find in Europe. The Meat was decent, but I wouldn’t describe it as hot in any way. The fresh diced onion was a refreshing addition to the mixture of flavors. As for the cheese, there was some. But it was down low, and there was far too little of it. I really just have a hard time with Nachos that are lacking in cheese. It’s a core component. The portion size was perfect for a single person, and I felt the components were of high enough quality that the price didn’t bother me. In the end, I would recommend these to people in the area who have a strong Nacho craving. They weren’t amazing, but they were definitely worth my time.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: Florence 2

Tijuana in Florence

Rating: 4 Cost: €12 ($14.55 USD) Location: Florence, Italy Customization: Yes (Various) Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, so I am posting all of the reviews.

Most of the Mexican food we ran into while living in Italy tended to either be in the form of Bar Food or in small cafeteria type settings, mostly catered towards tourists. Towards the end of our time living in Florence, we discovered a Mexican restaurant called Tijuana that was actually ran like a standard restaurant. They offered an fun selection of Cocktails and Margaritas, street tacos, nachos, and more. Tijuana is located in central Florence, a short walk Southeast of the Duomo. The interior décor is an interesting sight, as it seems to mix traditional Tuscan architecture with Mexican accents. It was actually quite fun to look at. We started with some elaborate and garish cocktails, as unnaturally colored as they were alcoholic. I already knew there were Nachos on the menu, as I discovered this place online beforehand. I was nervous about eating here, because the prices were quite high. The kind of high that screams tourist. They offered Nachos at 3 sizes, Piccolo for €6.5, Medio for €12, and Grande for €20. The main difference between them is actually how many items they allow to be on the Nacho. I may be a Nacho fanatic, but I had a hard time dealing with the thought of a nearly $25 Nacho without any idea of its quality. I settled on the Medio.

The Medio Nacho is a bed of chips covered in melted real cheese, with your choice of 4 toppings. These toppings can range and include such things as guac, lettuce, chorizo, pulled beef, chicken, mixed vegetables, etc. For my Nacho I chose Jalapenos, Crema, Pulled Chicken, and Guacamole. I broke my rule of usually picking red meat because the majority of meat I had consumed in Italy to date had been cured pork products. I was ready for a change. As the picture can attest, these Nachos were quite attractive when they showed up on my table. The compartmentalization of the toppings was a little weird, but other than that I was quite satisfied with the appearance. The chips were cooked to perfection, maintaining a crispness for the vast majority of the meal. The cheese was plentiful, covering almost every chip on the plate. The Pickled Jalapenos were great. Neither too mushy or too mild. The chicken was particularly stellar, both in its quantity and its flavor. The Crema was a disappointment, being a bit runny and mild in flavor compared to a genuine sour cream. The Guacamole had a slight processed flavor to it, likely full of additives, but still worked well enough with the rest of the Nacho. This was definitely the closest I had to a traditional Nacho while living in Florence. My biggest complaint was with the price, which meant I only went there once. The food quality for the most part was very respectable, and the service was kind. I would recommend this Nacho to people who get a craving in the area.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: Florence 1

The Lions Fountain Pub Rating: 3 Cost: €6.50 ($7.88 USD) Location: Florence, Italy Customization: No Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, so I am posting all of the reviews.

After living for quite a while in Florence, my wife and I developed a strong feeling of home sickness. The incredible Italian food and Wine can only go so far when you start missing everything about home. It wasn't long before we discovered a bar that helped us deal with our melancholy. Located in central Florence, a short walk from the Duomo is a an Irish style pub called the Lion's Fountain. It caters to an English/American crowd in the service, food menu, sports played, and even the occasional day in which they accept American money instead of Euros. The servers were incredibly nice, and the bar was always decently busy. Thankfully, most of the patrons spoke English, which allowed us to socialize more in depth then anywhere else. Our Italian was less than stellar, so it got a bit lonely. One of the most interesting aspects of this bar was their food menu. They made American bar fare like wings, cheese fries, and pulled pork sandwiches. What made it so unique compared to the other options in Italy is that they were actually good. See, the thing about American food in Italy is that its usually terrible. Obviously the Italian cuisine is incredible. For most people just visiting Florence, this is what you are going to eat. Endless Italian options, most of which will satisfy. Outside of Italian food, however, options aren't as varied. There is a pretty strong Chinese and Japanese (Sushi) restaurant presence in Florence, and our experiences with them were usually great. You can also find great late night Donner/Kebab offerings. There are quite a few burger joints too, but the problem is they are mostly awful. They are usually very bland, oily, and generally unsatisfying. Even our landlord, an Italian native warned us that burgers were terrible in Italy. He said after eating a burger in California, he hasn't enjoyed one in Italy since. So when we discovered The Lion's Fountain, we were obviously cautious. The thing is though, they make incredible bar food. By that I mean unhealthy, greasy, drunk food that us American's love so much.  They offer lots of comfort items on their menu.

You can bet since you are reading this review that one of those options are Nachos. They call them Lion Nachos. The Lion nachos are a relatively simple fair. They are a bed of chips covered in melted cheese, sour cream, tomatoes, and pickled jalapenos. They don't really advertise customization, and I decided to go with their default option. 

Since you have already seen the photo at the top of the post, you don't need me to tell you that  the presentation was quite bad. To be Fair, that is what it looked like after being carried (swung more like it) drunkenly in a bag for almost a mile. At first I was sad, but then I started eating them. It might have been that it was months since I had a real Nacho, but this Nacho really hit the spot. The melted cheese was the dominant player in this nacho, covering almost everything. The chips were crispy and delicious. The chips weren't perfect though. They were considerably oily, and were also broken into extremely small pieces. The sour cream was thick and actually tasted like Sour Cream. This was surprising because Sour Cream essentially doesn't exist in Italy. The jalapenos were also decent, feeling like standard, pickled fare. My only major complaint comes down to the Tomatoes. The tomatoes used were sweet. Not sugar sweet, just tomato sweet. This works great for many of the traditional dishes you get in Italy, but it was a little off-putting in these Nachos. Because of the excessive cheese  as well as the broken chip bits, I ended up eating most of this Nacho with a fork. It wasn't an ideal nacho, and suffered some structural issues. In its defense, it made up for a lot of these issues with a strong and bold flavor. It should also be mentioned that these Nachos were quite cheap compared to other American dishes in Italy. That’s a strong argument in their favor as well.

What does need to be mentioned, however, is that of all the food I tried at the Lions Fountain, this was probably the worst. My Wife and I found other menu staples that we were drawn towards. I was grateful for this Nacho, but I would highly recommend other menu items, such as the Lions Fries over it.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos of the World: Rome

Nachos of the World: Rome Rating: 2 Cost: €10 ($12.12 USD) Location: Rome, Italy Customization: Added Beef Website

Full Disclosure: This review was written in fall of 2019, but never posted and thought long lost on a USB drive. It has since been found, hence the delay.

I know what you are thinking. Why on Earth would this guy be eating Nachos in Italy? Well, if we were just there for a vacation, I would agree with you 100%. The thing is, my Wife and I moved to Europe for quite some time in 2019-2020. So, as you can see, we had ample opportunities to eat local foods. After a while though, I can't help but indulge my primal Nacho cravings. Plus, there was a level of curiosity involved with how this part of the world sees nachos. Well, after a day seeing the Vatican museum, my wife and I went for a walk. Not long after setting out, we ran into a little restaurant called Maybu, which seemed to be a sort of Mexican joint. It specialized in made to order burritos, as well as a few other things. As you can imagine, when I saw nachos listed, I was intrigued. It had been quite some time since I had indulged in my dark Nacho Desires. I would describe the interior of this place as sterile and bland, with a sort of Chipotle-esque ordering method. They had two Nachos available, a simple one with only chips and cheese, called Nachos con queso, and a complex one with other toppings called Nachos Maybu. As one can imagine, I went with the Nachos Maybu.

The Nachos Maybe are a bed of chips covered in a liquid cheese, their interpretation of Pico de gallo (read tomatoes), Guacamole, Beans, sour cream, and pickled jalapenos. I also asked for meat, as all the burritos on the menu came with meat. This was met with a rather confused look from the lady behind the counter. They were more than willing, but I was apparently the first person in the eateries history to ask for meat on my nachos. Their biggest struggle was knowing what to do with. "I'm cool if you just put it on top." I said. They then sort of awkwardly put it on top, acting like they were doing something taboo. I don't even think I had to pay for the meat either. That may be policy, it could be a mistake on their part, or perhaps they were worried they were doing it wrong so they didn't want to upset me by charging. Either way, Free meat. 

As far as presentation is concerned, the Metal pie tin the nacho came in is quite unique. Props for creativity, and it honestly helped keep everything together. I should also note that even though $12 is quite expensive back in New Mexico, it was reasonable in such a tourist heavy area of Italy. So, I had to take the pricing as relative to be fair. Now, how was the Nacho? It wasn't great. It was quite bad, actually. The pic only shows part of the story when it comes to how sad the Nacho actually was. I think the best way to describe this Nacho was bland and cold. Nothing on this nacho was warm, and I saw them make it in front of me. The Pico wasn't pico at all, but rather just tomatoes and a slight hint of spices. The guacamole tasted more like water than anything else. The beans were cold and covered in unappetizing congealed bean bits. The Nacho cheese sauce was mild and inoffensive, but there was far too little of it. The sour cream was barely present, and like the cheese was very mild in flavor. The chips were standard fair, neither good or bad. The jalapenos, although pickled, tasted mushy and mild. The best part of the dish was the meat, which is sad because it was merely alright. It was a bit on the fatty side, as well as cold. So, as you can see, this was a pretty bad Nacho. I can't imagine anyone in Italy being fond of Nachos if this was there only experience. Thankfully, there are many other Mexican restaurants in Italy, and they all fared better than this one.

[ilovenachos]

Pandemic Nachos: Twisters Revisited

Pandemic Nachos: Twisters Revisited Rating: 4 Cost: $7.99 Location: Everywhere Customization: Ground Beef, Extra Guac Website

The pandemic has had a traumatic impact on my emotional state due to the limitations it has placed on my access to Nachos and Nacho flavored items. Due to this situation, I have found myself retracing my steps and retrying various Nachos from my past. Some were poor nachos I decided to give a second chance to, and others are highly ranked nachos that are being re-evaluated during the quarantine to see if they are keeping up with their reputation. Twisters was always ranked decently high in the To-Go category of Nachos, provided you ordered them right. A bad order results in a bad Nacho. Although it doesn't say it on the menu, the twisters Nacho Supreme can be ordered with shredded cheese as opposed to the liquid cheese that comes as default. This makes a world of difference. I have nothing against liquid cheese, but when compared to real shredded cheese, it will always loose. You also must make sure you know that twisters offers two different types of nachos, the Mini Nacho which is just chips jalapenos and liquid cheese, and the Nacho Supreme which can be customized and tailored to any taste. As always, we are reviewing the Nacho Supreme.

The Nacho Supreme offered by twisters is a bed of chips and a choice of different meats: Ground Beef, Green Chile Chicken, or Carne Adovada (Shredded Beef and Fajita Chicken also available for $1 more). It also includes beans, pickled jalapenos, guacamole, sour cream, tomatoes, and your choice of liquid or shredded cheese. For this review, we went with the default ground beef and shredded cheese. I always recommend getting extra guacamole, as the kind Twisters offers is pretty decent. 

I'm not going to beat around the bush. These are still great Nachos. The portion to price alone make these a great contender in the to-go category of Nachos. The ground beef is flavorful, the beans are there, but never take over the flavor, the shredded cheese does its job, and the pickled jalapenos are really quite nice. The Sour Cream used actually tastes good, something that is commonly done poorly in the to-go category. Its not a perfect nacho though, and we should talk about the flaws. There are enough chips, although the ones in the center bottom will be mush by the time you get to them. There just simply isn't enough guacamole on the default nacho, which is why i recommend you order extra. It should also be noted, that sometimes when you order real cheese, parts of the nacho may not be as melted as others. It still tastes great, but you can find areas, particularly on the edge, where the cheese wasn't fully melted. Despite these flaws, the price is what really hammers this into a 4 for the to-go category. So, I am happy to say that these nachos have held up within the Quarantine, and should still be considered a good option.

[ilovenachos]

Pandemic: Taco Bell Nacho Party Pack

Taco Bell Nachos Party Pack

Rating: 2

Drunk Rating: 2.5

Cost: $9.99

Location: Everywhere

Customization: Beef, Extra Guac

Website

On a long enough time scale, the survival of everything drops to zero. In this instance, we are talking about my integrity. Sometimes, outside influences affect your resolve. First, we have quarantine. Second, we have Taco Bell announcing a new Nacho meal. I thought I was done with Taco Bell... but this required me to venture out and subject myself to their particular interpretation of "Nachos." Being drunk didn't help my willpower either. They claimed it was their largest Nacho ever, and at $9.99, how could I not be skeptical. So, I’m sure you are wondering if these Nachos were any good? Don’t worry, I got you. For added accuracy, I waited a whole day before writing my review so I could muse on it both with a sober mind, and to gauge how it affected my stomach afterwards.

The Nacho Party Pack is a bed of chips with ground beef, jalapenos, liquid nacho cheese, sour cream, beans, tomatoes, and guacamole. There are multiple customizations available, and I strongly suggest you make them, as many do not result in an upcharge. You can actually see all the customization options on the Taco Bell website. I'm fond of Extra Guac myself. It should also be noted that their hottest sauce was also liberally consumed during this experiment. 

I had trouble holding back my shock and laughter as the employee handed me the Box. The Taco Bell Nacho Party Pack is ridiculously Huge. The box is comically similar to something you would expect from a Pizza restaurant. When I opened the lid, I was greeted with what was essentially a Much larger version of their already existing nachos. Right down to half the toppings being stuck to the roof of the box. I'm just going to say it, for $10 I think they are punching above their weight, at least in terms of quantity. But how do they taste? Well, they taste like Taco Bell Nachos, which can mean a lot of different things depending on who you are, or how drunk you are. Lets start with the chips. Chips are one of the things I rarely criticize in nachos. I think its because tortilla chips are a robust enough snack that they usually taste good as long as they aren't stale or burnt. Taco Bell chips are the exception to this. These chips are hot garbage. They are paper thin, break when you look at them wrong, and have all the flavor of warm water. Honestly, the chips are the worst part of these nachos, and possibly the worst chips I have ever eaten. Contrasting this is the liquid nacho cheese, which is a serious guilty pleasure. It tastes fake, but in all the ways that I like. The only problem is that there is nowhere near enough. There are far too many chips without cheese on them, which is doubly disappointing since the chips are so bad. The sour Cream is mild and inoffensive. It could be better, but it doesn't piss me off either. The meat they use tastes like School Lunch caliber grade, but to be honest, it works really well with the low quality ingredients around it. I'm cool with it. The Guacamole is similar to the cheese. Its not good, but I still find myself enjoying it quite a bit. I always ask for extra so I can get an acceptable amount (they gip you otherwise). The Jalapenos are average quality, but at least they are pickled like they should be. The tomatoes they add are kind of a Pico De Gallo, but not really. They have spices and onion bits, but no cilantro flavor. Its actually one of the nicest parts of the nachos, and feels like a step above all the other ingredients. I could do with a lot more of that on here. 

Bottom Line - For $10 at 2AM, there are few things that are going to beat this. That doesn't mean its good, mind you, just good enough.

[ilovenachos]

Pandemic Nachos: Homemade Showcase

Even a worldwide Pandemic can't keep me from eating Nachos. It may have affected how often I can get Nachos from restaurants, but that just means I have to make them at Home. I just wanted to share with you some of my creations over the last 8 months!

Buffalo Nachos - Cheddar, Jalapenos, Refried Beans, Tomatoes, Guac, Sour Cream

Corned Beef Nachos - Cheddar, Jalapenos, Sour Cream, Guac. 

After St Pattys was canceled, I had to keep it alive in Quarantine.

Barebones Nacho - Ground Beef, Cheddar, Asadero, Refried Beans.

Queso Nachos - Took a stab at a homemade Green Chile Queso with this one.

Pico Nacho - Ground Beef, Cheddar, Jalapenos, Guac, Sour Cream, and Pico De Gallo

Olive Nacho - Ground Beef, Cheddar, Jalapenos, Tomatoes, Sour Cream, and an epic amount of Olives. 

[ilovenachos]

Pandemic Nachos: Quarter Celtic

Pandemic Nachos: Quarter Celtic Rating: 3 Cost: $8.00 Half, 12.00 Full (+$2.50 for meat) Location: San Mateo and Lomas (Other locations exist) Customization: Chicken Website

Quarter Celtic is one of the few restaurants I have actually eaten at since Quarantine started. This is largely due to their massive outdoor patio area. After a nice renovation, their outdoor seating is some of the best in town. It may lack a view, but it makes up for it in size, lighting, and shade. The tables are spaced out appropriately, and the servers are following the appropriate guidelines. I have been taking the quarantine quite seriously, and I felt comfortable with the setup they had. It had been a while since I had their Nachos, and I was suffering from a rather heavy craving. So, lets see how they stack up during Quarantine times.

Quarter Celtic offers their House Nachos in two sizes, half and full. I was being responsible with my portion control, so I opted for the half. In another uncharacteristic move, I opted for chicken instead of their Ground Beef or Corned Beef offerings. Their nachos a re a bed of chip covered in meat, cheese, olives, beans, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, guacamole, and a side of salsa.

I will admit, I am always nervous to order a half-nacho for fear that it can't satisfy my inhuman cravings. Thankfully, the half nacho I received was the perfect size. That said, I think the price, which was $10.50 after meat, was a bit high for what I received. I always chuckle a little when a restaurant serves multicolored tortilla chips. It feels like something done for tourists, and has a negative affect on the visual presentation of the Nacho. That said, they usually taste fine, so I'm not going to complain. I really appreciated the level of melt and crisp they achieved with the cheese on the chips with this nacho. It was extremely crunchy, which I realized was something I had been missing for some time after eating this Nacho. However, it did feel like the cheese quantity was lacking. There were quite a few chips without a trace of cheese on them, and since this was not a liquid queso, those chips essentially remained cheese-less throughout. The bean distribution was expertly executed and was never overpowering. The Tomatoes and Onions were also distributed well, being plentiful without covering the dish incessantly. I'm a big fan of Black Olives, and they are always welcome on my Nachos. They were a pleasant addition. The Sour Cream and Guac dollops felt a little underwhelming, both in size and flavor. The side of salsa is unnecessary, and went largely unused. Although I am usually sad when I receive raw jalapenos, I was happy that these were diced to a perfect thinness, allowing them to contribute to the flavor without overpowering it. The biggest issue was the meat. The chicken included was very scarce. The flavor of the chicken was fine, it was finding any that was the problem. At a $2.50 upcharge, that's a serious flaw.

Bottom Line - Its a good Nacho, but not great. The important elements like cheese and meat are far too scarce in this nacho to justify the price. They have far better things on their menu.

[ilovenachos]

Pandemic Nachos: Don Choche

Rating: 4 Cost: $12.00 Location: Marble Downtown Thurs-Fri (Brick and Mortar at 7319 4th St) Customization: Carne Asada Website

November 6th was National Nacho Day, and we celebrated by picking up some Nachos from Don Choche. One of the most popular food trucks in the city, Don Choche now owns a brick and mortar location as well. They are a definite late night favorite for both the drunk and sober alike. Their menu has expanded to include many new dishes, making them even more friendly for newcomers. But why would I want anything other than Nachos? Where Don Choche has always shined was in their selection of meats. Their choices seem almost endless with options such as Asada, Carnitas, Carne Adovada, Tripe, Chicken, and even Shrimp and Fish. That's not even all of them either. I will always choose Asada over all other meats. The fact that they still run their food truck is ideal in these Quarantine times. It allowed us to walk up to the truck, get our food, and essentially avoid people for the most part. 

Don Choche Nachos come in at around $12, which is a little heavy, but it is forgivable when you consider they are both a Food truck, and that their meat is high quality. Their Nachos are a bed of chips, covered in a melted white cheese, Meat, Lettuce, tomato, cilantro, and a light drizzle of sour cream, which is more like a crema. They also offer cups of 3 different types of Salsa at no extra charge (Red, Orange, and Green). They are all vastly different from each other, and the green is unquestionably the hottest. I have a good tolerance for heat, but the green always gives me a small case of the hiccups. 

Don Choche has been a staple of mine for many years. However, since I lived abroad for a while, it had been quite some time since I was able to revisit their Nachos. I can confidently say that they have stood the test of time and are still amazing. The meat is the star of the show, seasoned to perfection and highlighting every bite. The chips are thick and crisp, holding back the sogginess longer than most would. The lettuce and tomatoes are fresh and delicious, but they are definitely placed to liberally on the nacho. It almost looks like a Salad upon first glance. I could do with less of that in the future. The Sour Cream is also a bit lacking in presence, and its consistency is far closer to a crema than a traditional sour cream. The cheese is plentiful and melted to perfection, but its taste is rather mild. I feel like a slightly bolder cheese might work better against the meat.

It should be noted that even though it is a hefty amount of food, the quantity has definitely dropped in the last year. The to-go containers are noticeably smaller. This makes the $12 price tag a little harder to take. 

Final Verdict - Still one of the best Nachos in town, despite the reduced size and hefty price tag.

[ilovenachos]

Pandemic Nachos: Sadies To Go

Pandemic Nachos: Sadies To Go Rating: 4 Cost: ~ $15.39 Location: Various (This location: Academy, East of San Mateo) Customization: Ground Beef, To-Go.

http://www.sadiesofnewmexico.com/ 

There is no denying that the 2020 Quarantine has had a tremendous impact on how we eat Nachos, especially here in New Mexico. With restaurants having limited seating, and so few even having patios, the majority of my Nacho consumption has been via To Go orders. The tricky thing about takeaway orders is that it can have a profound affect on what you are receiving. Eateries that make the majority of their revenue with takeaway orders wont have any issues, because their dishes are already formulated for the to-go format. Fancier Restaurants that typically made most of their money with people dining inside tend to suffer when it comes to takeaway meals. The portions are often smaller, and cooks often make them within the to-go containers, which usually inhibits their ability to make the dish with the same care and affection they traditionally do with their plates.

I haven't reviewed Sadie’s nachos since 2010. They were one of my higher ratings, getting praise for both the size and caliber of the ingredients. I mean, these nachos were massive. There is no way they could match that in a to-go order, could they? Today, I decided to find out. I got a to-go order of their large Nachos. As always, when there is a choice of protein, I tend to favor beef over chicken, and this instance was no exception. The Nachos are a body of chips covered in refried beans, a meat of your choice, melted cheddar cheese, Raw jalapeno slices, lettuce, tomatoes, and a dollop of sour cream and guacamole.

The first thing I need to mention is that the Nacho's now cost a little over $15, instead of the $10 from a decade ago. Prices go up over the years, and the Pandemic has made it harder to make ends meet. I totally understand, but paying $15 for a Nacho isn't exactly chump change. The Nacho comes in an oversized to-go container, which is nice considering how massive their Nachos have traditionally been. Don't get me wrong, this is still a massive Nacho. That said, the Nacho still felt smaller than I would have expected for the price. There was a considerable amount of empty space around the nacho in it's large container. The garnish, Sour Cream, and Guacamole came on the side. I appreciate this, because it allows people to dress it how they please. Me? I just dumped it all on top. That's how I roll.

So how was the Nacho? I'm not going to lie, It was pretty great! The Cheese was a definite highlight. This was quality cheese melted to perfection over the entire Nacho. It was hard to find a chip without some form of cheese on it. The meat flavor was on point, taking part in every bite without overpowering anything. The refried beans tasted great, but I will admit there was a bit too much of it. It tended to overpower some of the bites, leading me to scraping it off in some instances. The Lettuce and Tomatoes were fresh and added a great textural shift from the meat and beans. The sour cream is standard fare, and the Guacamole was better than average. My chief complaint, just as it was in the 2010 review, is the raw jalapenos. I always prefer pickled, as they were the original Nacho topping. I am fine with raw jalapenos, but these are always cut so thick, and have a large amount of seeds in them. This makes them considerably spicier than they should be, and can take the balance away from the other flavors in the Nacho.

Final Verdict - Its a great tasting Nacho, one of the best in town, with few flaws. However, despite it being a massive serving, the price still feels a bit high.

[ilovenachos]

Duke City Sports Bar

Duke City Sports Bar

Rating: 3

Cost: ~ $11.00

Location: Eubank and Montgomery

Customized: No

Website 

Today brings a rather unlikely nacho review from me. Not because of the Nacho, but because of the location: A Sports bar. I think is necessary to remedy this sports bar shaped void in my reviews because many of my readers frequent them. For any of you that know me, you are likely already aware that I’m not crazy about sports bars. It’s nothing to do with sports, because I like watching sports. It’s also nothing to do with the customers, because I’m good with them too. My problem is all the TVs. Every 4 feet of wall is another TV with another game on. You can’t look any direction without seeing a cluster-fuck of TV’s trying to distract you. See, when I go out, I either go out to spend time with people, drink some great beer, or eat some great food. When I play my cards right, I do all 3 at once. A sports bar doesn’t really facilitate any of those activities in a great way. Even when they have good food and good beer, there is the ever present distraction of TV’s. When I go to sports bars, it tends to be when there isn’t a huge game or event going on. It offers the best possible way to enjoy everything about the bar, and not just the TV’s. This last Saturday me and some friends dropped by Duke City Sports Bar, formerly Sinners and Saints. This sports bar feels more like a neighborhood fair than a Buffalo Wild Wings, and you will get no complaints from me. The TV’s were out in force, but since there was no noteworthy game, all the volumes were muted. Instead of 30 TV’s filling the soundwaves, it was a pleasant 90’s nostalgia radio. The bar was also relatively empty, which meant service was as attentive as one could dream, and there was no waiting in line to play shuffleboard. I didn’t even plan on eating when we got there. I was in drink mode, overindulging in all the recently (and overly early) released Octoberfest beers. However, one of my friends was hungry, and she knew I have a rather unhealthy obsession with Nachos. Needless to say, I didn’t protest.

The only problem here is I didn’t see the menu, so I’m not fully aware of all the options and such, and therefore am without details for this review. I’m not sure if Duke City Sports Bar offers more than one type of nacho, but I can tell you they offer a choice of 3 different meats: beef, chicken, and pulled pork. We opted for the Pulled pork. What arrived was a body of chips covered in a liquid queso, meat, pickled jalapenos, and a form of pico.

It’s important to state that expectation definitely informs opinion when it comes to Nachos. I’m at a sports bar, not a gourmet eatery. I’m not expecting a fancy nacho with unique fusion elements. No, what I’m expecting is a large and delightfully disgusting bowl of unhealthy flavor. I’m pretty sure that’s what most people expect when they hit up the bar to watch the game. With that said, I can say that these nachos definitely lean more towards what one would expect from a sports bar, if not falling short on the wow factor. The portion size of these nachos is quite good. This would easily stuff a single person as an entrée, and it worked perfectly as an appetizer for the four of us. The biggest issue was how many chips were obviously missing any toppings at all. This nacho lacked efficient layering. The chips are standard fare and arguably on the thin side. The Queso was a decent liquid cheese, not overbearing in flavor or thickness, while still offering the unhealthy feel one would demand from a sports bar. The pico was fresh and flavorful, but was far too sparse for my taste. I was excited to see pickled jalapenos, and there were plenty to go around. The real winner of this nacho was the pork. They didn’t skimp on it, and the pieces were large and tender. Their flavor worked perfectly with the queso, and really was the saving grace of the nacho. In the end we destroyed these nachos quite quickly. I can say they were a decent eat, and I would definitely order them again. However, I don’t think anything about this nacho would make me actively attempt to come to this bar to get them. So, if you are craving nachos and aren’t partial to Sports bars, there are better options. But if you happen to be catching the game, these will do nicely.

[ilovenachos]

Mobile Nachos: My Sweet Basil

My Sweet Basil

Rating: 5

Cost: ~ $8.00

Location: Mobile Food Truck

Customized: No

Website 

For anyone who regularly visits food trucks in the Albuquerque area, few trucks will carry as much prestige as My Sweet Basil. Affectionately referred to by many as a high end restaurant that just happens to have wheels, My Sweet Basil holds a special place in many brewery patron’s hearts. This isn’t just a testament to their quality of food. This complement extends to the friendly and diligent workers, the classy decor, and their awesome business savvy that leads them to host some of the best beer dinners in town. At first glance this food truck stands out from the others. Everything about its presentation demonstrates a level of care rarely seen in a food truck. From the artistic wooden menu frame to their potted plants on display, it is apparent that this business takes p ride in itself. Although they park at numerous establishments, my chosen locale is La Cumbre, at which they park on Tuesday and Friday nights. Their menu changes by the day, but will often always include various popular staples. The food ranges from burgers, cubanos, and fish tacos, to more unique offerings like strawberry feta salads, or Ahi Tuna plates. The most important menu item, as you can imagine, is their Nachos.

The Nacho offering from My Sweet Basil is comprised of a body of chips (dusted in various spices) covered in Braised Pork, Avocado, Pico Peppers, Jalapenos, Cilantro, Tomatoes, and Salsa Verde liquid queso, and a white cheese dust (I assume Queso Fresco).

As far as food trucks are concerned, $8 for a nacho is a decent price, with most places averaging $8-$11 easily. However, unlike most trucks, these nachos are big and heavy. You definitely feel like you get your money’s worth when they hand you the sizable box of future “workout shame”. The next thing that strikes you about these nachos is how colorful they are. There are pleasant color and texture contrasts throughout, and it’s obvious these nachos were assembled with care and not slopped together in a hurry. But how do they taste? Well, let me just start by saying they taste different than pretty much any other nacho I have ever had, despite the presence of so many traditional and classic ingredients. Then let me tell you that these are some of the most delicious nachos I have ever had. The best way for me to describe these nachos would be a 50s Americana interpretation of a loaded nacho done with a flavor profile that emphasizes fresh ingredients and subtlety. The most impressive thing about this nacho is that no one ingredient overpowers the other. The savory and pleasant roast is never overpowered by the guacamole or cheese. The sweet tomatoes and peppers add a unique contrast to the acidity of the jalapenos and lime in the guac. The chips are thick and robust, a requirement for any nacho with liquid cheese.

There are three particular elements of this nacho that make them unique in my mind. The first is the presence of braised pork as the protein addition. Growing up, my Mom regularly made fantastic Pork roasts for dinner. They have a particularly pleasant flavor that brings me a great deal of comfort. Using that on a Nacho would never have occurred to me. And to be fair, most nachos wouldn’t work well with it because of my previously mentioned flavor issues. That type of meat would often disappear behind the very strong flavors of other nachos. But not in these nachos. The second element I want to talk about is the particular Queso they have concocted. Its consistency allows for it to cover the chips well. The flavor is both noticeable and mild, working with ingredients instead of taking them over. My only major complaint might be that its thinness causes more of it to pool at the bottom of the Nacho than I would have preferred, but this is a minor complaint. They are Nachos after all, and the chips are a perfect scooping device. The third and final element that I really want to discuss is the cilantro. I’ve had nachos with cilantro before, but never one in which so much cilantro was added. I am one of those people that loves cilantro. Usually when I see it as an ingredient in nachos, I am often underwhelmed by how little they use, to the point where I can barely taste it, if at all. I can only assume this is to keep from offending the droves of people that don’t enjoy its fresh taste profile.

So let me just say that My Sweet Basil is not only one of the best Food truck nachos I have ever eaten, but one of the best Nachos I have eaten in town. Period. The Price, portion size, and unique flavors all make this the type of Nacho you should be looking to try.

[ilovenachos]

Nachos Revisited: Taco Cabana

Taco Cabana: Steak Fajita Nachos

Rating: 2

Cost: ~ $6.00 (Not Positive)

Location: Multiple

Customized: Yes

Website

Back in 2013 I posted a review of Taco Cabana nachos. It was unique in that I gave it two scores, one being the regular score, and one being a “late night” score considering how opinions might vary depending on how limited options become at 2am. Well, I was recently brought to Taco Cabana by a friend in search of a cheap dinner option. I used this as a perfect opportunity to get a different type of nacho, as Taco Cabana offers many. What I was most excited about was that we were eating in the restaurant and not using the drive through. Although the inner atmosphere is as undesirable as a fast food lobby, what it does offer is the “Salad Bar” filled with various add-ons that I can use to enhance my nacho at my discretion. Furthermore, this review was done at a standard dinner time, and without any consumption during the day, so it will have a singular review, unlike the previous visit.

The particular Nacho I ordered on this visit was the Steak Fajita Nachos. What this entailed was a body of chips covered in a liquid queso, Steak fajita (which appears to be steak bits and some chile bits) refried beans, and sour cream and guacamole.

What I received looked quite sad to say the least. The above picture is a reasonable, if not slightly over flattering representation. It was made with no perceivable care, and I was left scratching my head looking for the beans. It was time to do my best to save these before I even began eating them. I covered them in diced onions, a plethora of jalapenos, and some well to do wishes. The chips were really oily, like dripping with oil, oily. The cheese was nice, not stellar, but I enjoyed the simple flavor it presented. It was thin enough to spread to other chips readily, but thick enough to stick around when you wanted it to. The Steak was passable, although it tasted like it had been under a heat lamp for quite a while. I only assume the little bits of chile pepper in the cheese was the “Fajita” part of the nacho, which was sad, considering how sparingly it was presented. The beans made themselves known as I made it deeper within the nacho. A small puddle of beans was hidden below the bottom chips as if the restaurant was ashamed of it. The Guacamole they offered was actually really decent, and became an essential part of the nacho. The Sour Cream did its job, although it was a bit on the thin side. The Jalapenos and onions I added definitely helped this Nacho extend far beyond what was presented to me. In the end, what I was given was a step above Taco Bell, but not much else. I would have been far more receptive to this nacho after a few drinks, especially at a late hour, much in the same way I had their other nachos at a previous visit.