The view from Cookie Mountain

On my mountain, I reign supreme

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Challah if you hear me

Challah if you hear me

Hey humans. Welcome to the first bake of 2021. I have been playing around with todays recipe basically all of December because it gave me that much joy. Today we are making Challah bread. So like a brief insight into this bread, it is a Jewish bread baked for Shabbat and other Jewish holidays. Im not a historian so I would defos not give this thang any justice. Please do take a few minutes of…

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Pound-a-Cake

Hey doll faces. Did you try any new recipes recently? I am lazy to think of ideas, so please help a sister out and drop some suggestions in the comments. 

Recently I had been on a brioche binge trying out different methods, techniques and applications and lost sight of everything else, which was super fun, but now I am back in the world of the living and making other things. Todays bake? POUND…

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Brioche Buns

Bonjour mon amis. Are we happy poppin and glowing, I’m having a minor allergic reaction to something in my sisters house so my ass gotta go back to my place, so please, pop and glow on my behalf. A few weeks back I ran a poll on my instagram trying t decide which bread to bake between brioche and a French loaf. Brioche won and I was pretty peeved at everyone who voted French loaf. Listen, you…

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Lemon Poppy Cake

Good day my fellow inmates, I hope this lockdown is treating you well. Personally, I am thriving and blessed, I have a roof over my head, a comfy bed and food in my belly. In fact, I have so much food in my belly, your girl has gained weight, probably my heaviest but that just means your girl is throwing it down in the kitchen (and not exercising, hey shut up don’t judge me). 

Ok, forget that,…

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Cappuccino Cake

Ola, Cómo estás? I’m obviously not Spanish and I will make no further attempt because this is about all I know. So imma keep it 100 with you, this is basically the same damn cake as before; the vanilla and the peach swirl. I am doing a little experiment with flavours and ingredients and I thought this would be a good place to start. Vanilla is an exceptional cake flavour, and part of its beauty…

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Cappuccino Cake

Ola, Cómo estás? I’m obviously not Spanish and I will make no further attempt because this is about all I know. So imma keep it 100 with you, this is basically the same damn cake as before; the vanilla and the peach swirl. I am doing a little experiment with flavours and ingredients and I thought this would be a good place to start. Vanilla is an exceptional cake flavour, and part of its beauty…

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Peach Swirl

Peach Swirl Loaf

My sister made banana bread, she told me to tell you this. This banana bread has nothing to do with anything, but she told me to tell you. 

Hello my fellow detainee, I hope you are staying your ass at home and are keeping safe and busy. We are amid a pandemic and man are people stockpiling, please stop. I have been going to the shops and there seems to be a large yeast and bread flour shortage.…

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Pizza Shit

Hey guys. Your bitch is baaaaack. Now I’m not going to lie to you and pretend I wont go ghost again, I damn sure will, but in this moment, you gonna learn how to make a mother fucking pizza from scratch boo. This is your tried and tested gayl back at it with new tings for your tummy. 

I took some time to figure out the best methods in making a good pizza dough and I am pretty happy with this…

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You peCAN make these too

You peCAN make these too

Ola bitch faces. You know I love you fight? Bitch face is a term of my undying love so take my gosh darn lurve. So honeys of whom I love, today I bring to you the marvelous delight that are these here pecan bars. Its basically a pecan pie but on the go for us busy people that don’t want to invest in an entire pie because we are on a “diet” so we lie to ourselves and say that this is the healthier…

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Almondies...If that's a term

Almondies…If that’s a term

Hello angel faces. Welcome to another day of tasty foodsies in your adorable belly.

So, for whatever reason, I’m really struggling to figure out what types of cookies to make so please feel free to drop some ideas of what you’d like to see.

Ok, so since we back on this, a girl went out and baked some bomb ass almond cookies. So, I would be humble about it but we all know I’m not that guy and I…

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Hey boo thangs. Your girl is popping in to let you know she still loves you. Just think of me like a cat, I still want your love even if I’m not giving you any love, but like, I’m giving you love, just not tangible, measurable or visible love. It’s just trapped in my heart so you should be able to read my heart and know. We on the same page? I’ll take that as a yes. I’ve actually been called out…

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Cia-BETTER than the other batta

Cia-BETTER than the other batta

Hello ho ho homies. My precious bread rolls of love and affection. You warm toasty buns. Is this me typing random shit to distract my mind and tricking you into reading it? Yes, yes it is.

Ok, I’m back to this bread thang, this week we are baking Ciabatta again, but this time it’s real people ciabatta. So, last week I had made a cheat version that would be done in a few hours but this time we…

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I loaf you so much

I loaf you so much

So, my dusty ass is sitting here enjoying a beautiful Monday evening, having a wine free night, reflecting over the Sandton sky line and NOT WRITING MY GOSH DARN POST!!!

Ok, dumb dumb is back with the program and planning on posting shit* on time. What shit shall I be posting this week? CIABATTA.

Ok, let’s make this second bread miracle. I think I might be changing my mind on bread guys, it might…

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You got buns hun?

You got buns hun?

Hey artichokies. Yup, it’s been a while, I’ve been on a break and hey boo, I’m so ready for the life of cookies again. Man, I missed this shit. So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but since the inception of this blog I’ve only ever made one bread type thing. Well, simply put, baking bread terrifies me. It is just one of those things that rarely come together and I just run as fast as I can. That…

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Christmas Tings

Jingle bells, jingle bells. Meh, I’m really not that guy so I might as well stop fronting, I’m no caroler.

Guys, I’m so exhausted I cannot. Its Christmas eve and I’m still at work, I had to basically plan all of the Christmas festivities, I haven’t slept much and on top of that I’m baking 4 different cookies and I only have one done. Yup, I’m pooped guys, I really am. What’s the point of me…

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That PistachiHoHoHo cookie

Hey there boo thang. Argh, my heart is full hey. Do you know what else is full? My tummy, my tummy is filled with delicious biscotti. I am eating biscotti all day and I feel like it should get its own classification as a food group. Yup, who needs vegetables? Not me. Ok, that’s a lie, I like my greens.

Ok, so before we start with this recipe, I need to get something off my chest. Biscotti are…

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Why hello there. It has been a while. I know I am pure trash matlakala. A hoe needed to get her life together with a young breakdown and rebuild but, a hoe is back and a hoe is baking. What are we baking today, you may ask? We are baking Vanilla Viennese cookies. I found them to be a better short bread cookie but let’s get into that later.

Aite cool, so I’ve been getting crapped on all over the…

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