imadeanewventblogagain @imadeanewventblogagain - Tumblr Blog

you know that angry feeling when you see the person that has broken you in so many ways being able to just go on with their life, finding someone else while you're still here, stack into putting your own pieces together? not being able to receive love because deep down you're still convinced to not deserve it? still convinced that everything comes with a price so you push away the only person who's happy to give you unconditional love, like there must be the trick somewhere? i feel so stupid.

#this but like....it was litteraly my own fault shfjjs

2 fucking years and I'm still yearning for him

'im 100% over him guys' and every month I do this over again.

I rlly gotta make the cut clean, he did it fine.

I just, god I underestimated how well you stick to someone when you make them your litteraly other half and convince yourself you can't live without him 😬

God, I want to be friends but it wouldn't work. There's no healthy way for me to be friends with him. Not for a while.

Bro left a him shaped hole and I'm just, tip toeing around it hoping he'll come and fill it again some day and it's just....not gonna happen huh.

I say I'm over him but he's always in the back in of my mind, always there.

I do a double take anytime I see someone with curly hair

When I need a pick me up I'll think about the OCS we shipped together

I just....he's always there ig

I don't want to let him go I rlly dont

Look at my fucking bio like god my whole psych surrounds this man fucking hdjfjsHSJDHAK

#never attatch yourself to a man folks

I know I'm feeling all this cuz of a fucking mood swing (periods a coming) but God I just

I hate this I just want him to message me like 'hey, saw this picture and reminded me of you lmao' and just, some sort of sign they don't want nothing to do with me

I wished him happy birthday and that was it, my birthday came and went, nothing. I don't, I'm so sure they're done with me but I just. I can't.

I can't help but be upset, sad, angry over it cuz like of course it's easier for him, I hurt h i m, I don't deserve to feel sad about this so why do i, why am I so upset that they didn't wish me happy birthday fucking 3 months ago

Why am I angry that they stopped trying, he's aloud to not want to talk to me, he deserves so much better

I hate me

I keep having to remember we were teenagers, neither of us were equipped to handle, any of that, most of all him. I bottled up and it came out in the most shit way and I can't take it back and it sucks.

Like that one fucking discord message, click send, fucking that's it, never the same. I don't call anyone anymore.

I talk to just my family on the phone, but Everytime I feel my warm phone on my cheek I'm always fucking brought back to being on a 7hr call with him, half asleep and I just. I can't. I fucking threw it all away.

I do not want it ever interpreted that 'oh they're not over him! They're still in love with him!'

No nope I've been thru that shit and it's dead and done. Hurt like fucking hell, the feeling ain't there anymore, there's yearning for what could've been sure, but I genuinely don't think that type of relationship would've lasted.

I keep fucking mourning the friendship the just-

God I keep, thinking about characters who are just. Best friends, close friends, a bond. But not dating. I keep thinking of that and just, yearning for that. I just, I think I would've liked that in another life

Idk....maybe it still would've crashed and burned I just miss having a friend like that

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