She keeps having the same dream. A field of flowers, ones that she recognizes from Mamas garden but can’t remember the names for. She feels bad for her memory loss, as though forgetting the flower names meant she was forgetting Mama. As much as she wants to stay in the field, she feels compelled to move, and starts walking towards the setting sun. She walks for what seems like hours, before finally spotting what seems to be a well in the distance. She then realizes how thirsty she is, and picks up her pace towards the well. After a few minutes, she looks up from the road and sees a man directly in front of her. She stood short to avoid walking into him. As much as she tries, she cannot place his face, though it looks oddly familiar. When he reaches out to brush her hair behind her ear, she flinches back. He pauses, taking her body language in with languid eyes that she can’t quite pin a color to. Mesmerized by those eyes, she barely notices when he brings his hand the rest on her cheek. She feels a faint twinge of anxiety as his hands move to hold her shoulders. His eyes... unworldly. Tingles run through her spine, and she finds her eyes growing heavy. So tired. She walked all this way, she deserves a break. But she wants-needs- to keep focusing on his eyes. Sleep. No! She begins to panic, knowing that if she loses sight of those perfect bottomless pits, she will never see them again. Sleep. Maybe, just for a little. Just a few minutes. Her eyes begin to close on their own accord. She perceives his nails digging into her arms, trying to keep her awake. Sleep. Yes, she thinks. Sleep would be nice. A few hours. His eyes try to convey a message to her. Joy? No. Panic. His eyes warning her are the last thing she sees before darkness consumes her.
When she awakens in a cold sweat, the details are already fading. Night after night she sees the man, leaving her groggy and unable to focus during the day. Her therapist thinks it’s some kind of childhood trauma. Somehow she doubts that. Although she has plenty to be traumatized about, this doesn’t remind her of the constant uncertainty of her childhood. She’s not sure what this reminds her of. She sighs, and rolls out of bed, knowing she won’t get any more sleep. She takes her time brushing her teeth, showering and eating. When she looks at the clock, she’s surprised to find that it’s already 7:30. She finds a semi clean pair of clothes and doesn’t bother looking in the mirror before grabbing her keys and leaving the house. There was a time in her life that she cared about how she looked. She used to spend money on makeup and clothes, trying to fit in with the latest trends. She wonders what happened to that carefree girl. The one that had suffered so much, but still managed to put it all behind her for a few hours at a time. That girl hadnt allowed everything to suffocate her. Looking out the window of the bus, she dimly realizes that her stop is next. She collects herself, noticing, but not really caring, that she had forgotten to bring her purse. She sighed, barely audibly, and thanked herself for at least remembering to bring her wallet and keys. Her memory was getting worse and worse. The bus slowed to a stop and she hopped out of the still opening doors.
She walks quickly towards the huge library at the end of the block, hoping the faster she walked, the faster she’d leave her unpleasant thoughts behind. As she opens the library, she can’t help but gaze towards the windows, wishing she were outside instead of stuck indoors. She grabs a cart of books to put back on the shelves, and takes shelter in the monotony of her day.
ellievsbear
tangentwithtanner
andulkaphoto
baratheonpilled
turnnoffyourmind
