XIII MXCV @immacvlately-inhuman3 - Tumblr Blog

@yulia_burmi

Like literally everything is so good right now. We’re selling our place and buying bigger near the beach, I just got promoted with a pay rise, and it’s so fucking stressful working full time AND trying to move house at the same time... But the thing that’s bothering me the most amongst all this shit that ACTUALLY matters, is how little you cared about me and the way you left me.

I probably felt more for you than I should have and was looking for somewhere to vent the affectionate feelings I had but couldn’t act on at home. I probably said shit I didn’t mean. But anything I said in a heated conversation with you was honest and unfiltered. The fact of the matter was that you cared more about other people than you did about me. It’s true that I just wanted some kind of validation from you for everything I’d done for you - for how long I’d been there. I pretended I didn’t know what you meant when you said you couldn’t give me what I wanted emotionally, when in reality I was just in denial. Your relationship had just ended and I was there - every single time it happened. You were fragile and were looking for someone to expell your energy onto, and you knew I couldn’t be that person. But that didn’t mean you had to exile me. Within one or two weeks you had already found a new pie to stick your fingers into. There is nothing wrong with finding an outlet for how you were feeling at the time, but you had no idea of how much of an impact your actions were having on other people. On me. Over and over again I was left frustrated and alone. You weren’t the only person your breakup had an impact on.

Every time you said “I’m busy” or “not feeling to great” or “got uni stuff on”, you would post pictures of yourself and your friends online. You literally pretended I didn’t exist. Were you trying to think of ways to get rid of me?

Throughout the six years we were friends, you never prioritised me. Not once.

You would dedicate entire instagram posts to other people OVERSEAS. I never met any of your friends from work or uni. You never wanted me to be around your parents. You told your friends secrets about me. You would tell me you’re “busy” if I tried to make plans with you 2+ weeks in advance but would constantly see you hanging out with friends from uni or work. You knew you were my number one, why couldn’t you just tell me earlier that I wasn’t yours?

I always defended you to my mum if she said you were a bad influence. I gave my time to you when She broke up with you for the third time. I ALWAYS offered to hang out with you.

This isn’t me hoping you see this. Because I know you won’t. Because you’ve completely forgotten all about me. No. This is me venting. The way I should have been able to if you ever gave a shit.

Just another scenario where I’m the only one putting effort in.

What a fucking shit weekend.