Barbie Movie Horses Ranked, AKA: Jesus, I Forgot How Many Fucking Horses Their Are and I'm Still Probably Forgetting Some, Part 1
Coming to you in parts because Tumblr has a 10 image limit. Inspired by this post, but unlike it, not based soley on design. Role in the story will be factored in, as will the personally when present
5/10- Marzipan is the first in our long line of "horses that only exist so we can sell a carriage toy," but she has a name, and I Iike it, it fits into the sugar plum theme. Loses points for being weirdly skinny- girl's got to pull four people across an entire sea, she needs muscles!
7/10- that's a good looking horse! I have no idea why he exists, I don't even think Rapunzel has a carriage set, but I like his name and his design is a significant improvement on Marzipan's
10/10- lesbian icon!!! We love an idiot who gets stuck on every bush she passes but also manages to find the savior of her kingdom based solely on vibes. Loved her spunk as a kid and I still do
Princess and the Pauper, Hervé and other
9/10- listen I don't know why I love Hervé so much, but I do. He's always been one of my favorite Barbie animal companions and while his face design is weirdly off putting, I find it charming anyway. The other horse looks fine but I hate her headgear
Magic of the Pegasus, Brietta
10/10- lesbian icon 2! She looks great, a well rounded face and the most realistic looking body of a girl horse so far, not making any part of her look too skinny to function well as a horse. I love her tiara and it's so fun that it plays a role on the story. All this said, girl we have got to get you a therapist, how are you fine after being a horse for at least 16 years?
Magic of the Pegasus, Other
7/10- pretty good for our first pony. I know there's more horses in this movie, but they all share either Brietta's design or this one. The sunset colors are cute on the ponies and overall they honestly look better than the Kellys
Twelve Dancing Princesses, Derek's horse
5/10- a good looking horse, but I don't really have anything else to say about him. Even thr movie finds him disposable
Magic of the Rainbow, N/A
Island Princess, Horse that only exists so we can sell a carriage toy
3/10- nothing wrong with them, but they don't need to be here and they're very plain to look at
4/10- I have no memory of this horse, but she came up on Google when I was looking for the carriage horses, which I couldn't find. They're clearly just reused Brietta models though, so they do get all the points she did from aesthetics alone
A Christmas Carol, Horse that only exists so we can sell a carriage toy
1/10- don't need to be here and weirdly proportioned. Either their necks are too small or their bodies are too wide, either way, I don't like them
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