acrylic, canvas 50*60 cm «sunny gold» 2024

oozey mess
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Not today Justin
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Noah Kahan

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if i look back, i am lost
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Stranger Things
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Cosimo Galluzzi
Today's Document

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@immovablebethlehem
acrylic, canvas 50*60 cm «sunny gold» 2024
Field of Poppies (1873) by Claude Monet
David Hockney (British, 1937-2026) - Dog Painting 13 (1995)
Linda Pastan, from Waiting for My Life: Poems; "What We Want"
[Text ID: "and in the morning / our arms ache. / We don't remember the dream, / but the dream remembers us."]
{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz }
{So We Must Meet Apart by gabrielle bates and jennifer s. cheng}
“An “angel” is anything that carries out a mission for God. This includes forces of nature. […] Photosynthesis? That’s an angel. Gravity? An angel. Magnetism? Angel. The Midrash in Bereishis Rabbah (chapter 1) says than an angel only performs one job. That job doesn’t have to be destroying Sodom; it could be peristalsis, centripetal force or condensation.”
— Rabbi Jack Abramowitz, Angels (via torat-chesed-al-lashona)
Her my body by Bob Hicock
The dog licks my hand as I worry about the left nipple of the woman in the bathroom.
She is drying her hair, the woman whose left nipple is sore. We looked this evening for diagonal cuts or discoloration or bite marks from small insects that may be in our bed.
It is a good bed, a faithful bed. A bed that won’t be hurt by the consideration we gave to the possibility of small though disproportionately strong insects in our bed.
The blow-dryer sounds like a jet taking off. The first time I flew to Brussels, people began the journey happy but ended with drool on their shirts.
She is drying her hair though she has never been to Brussels. Drying her hair though she could be petting a dog. Drying her hair while having red thoughts about what the pain in her nipple means.
I would not dry my hair in such a moment but I am bald. The body of the woman has many ways to cease being the body of the woman.
I have one way to be happy and she is that way.
I would like to fly with her to Brussels. We would not be put off by the drool. This is what happens when people sleep. We would buy postcards of the little boy who saved Brussels when he peed on a fire. We would be romantic in public places.
For the moment these desires can best be furthered by petting a dog.
I’m also working on this theory. That sometimes a part of the body just hurts. That the purpose of prayer is to make the part of the body that sometimes just hurts the little toe or appendix.
Something vestigial or redundant. Something that can be jettisoned. I have no reason to use the word cancer while petting a dog.
Here is a piece of a second during which a jet is not flying nor is it on the ground.
I’m working on a theory that no one can die inside that piece of a second.
If you are comforted by this thought you are welcome to keep it.
Landscape with Black Coats in Snow
(an unpublished poem from War of the Foxes)
A door had been opened and could not be shut and then
it was shut. I turned my back and felt thevacuum of
myleaving. I live in big spaces, so I’m left alone in big spaces.
Thinking in the language of the enemy. Moving through
the landscape of the enemy. We were spies and the confidants
of spies, pockets and telephones, gathering evidence without
leaving any. Spies feel like they know something important.
It is a feeling. Opulent. Grand. We invented a fence in the
middle of the snow so we could meet at the fence and whisper.
Clemency at the fence. These small repeated revelations
stabilize something. Faith in snow, bravery in snow. A daily
maintenance. Is this your sadness? asks the trashman. No, that
is a fishbone and that is a soup can and that over there is no
longer recognizable. Paint ghosts over everything, the sadness
of everything. We made ourselves cold. We made ourselves
snow. We smuggled ourselves into ourselves. Haunted by
each others’ knowledge. To hide somewhere is not surrender,
it is trickery. All day the snow falls down, all night the snow.
I try to guess your trajectory and end up telling my own story.
We left footprints in the slush of ourselves, getting out of there.
These Hands, If Not Gods by Natalie Diaz
Haven’t they moved like rivers— like Glory, like light— over the seven days of your body? And wasn’t that good? Them at your hips— isn’t this what God felt when he pressed together the first Beloved: Everything. Fever. Vapor. Atman. Pulsus. Finally, a sin worth hurting for. Finally, a sweet, a You are mine. It is hard not to have faith in this: from the blue-brown clay of night these two potters crushed and smoothed you into being—grind, then curve—built your form up— atlas of bone, fields of muscle, one breast a fig tree, the other a nightingale, both Morning and Evening. O, the beautiful making they do— of trigger and carve, suffering and stars— Aren’t they, too, the dark carpenters of your small church? Have they not burned on the altar of your belly, eaten the bread of your thighs, broke you to wine, to ichor, to nectareous feast? Haven’t they riveted your wrists, haven’t they had you at your knees? And when these hands touched your throat, showed you how to take the apple and the rib, how to slip a thumb into your mouth and taste it all, didn’t you sing out their ninety-nine names— Zahir, Aleph, Hands-time-seven, Sphinx, Leonids, locomotura, Rubidium, August, and September— And when you cried out, O, Prometheans, didn’t they bring fire? These hands, if not gods, then why when you have come to me, and I have returned you to that from which you came—bright mud, mineral-salt— why then do you whisper O, my Hecatonchire. My Centimani. My hundred-handed one?
Uptalk by Kimmy Walters
Imagery is key. Photographs are made to blur. Life moves too quickly to be captured. That is the animal instinct at work. Consumption is a must for any living creature. Doing things technically happens all the time. With enough training the efforts become effortless light and airy. Across the world people try to achieve this level of transcendence in any way they possibly can. By hiding in plain sight unacknowledged as a human part of the background a person deals with a lot less stress. Every time a little recognition drips down it can be enough to drown a person.
Distance can work wonders when dealing with the world. Windows exist for a reason: to observe the world without having to interact with it. Steam in a bathroom is a bathroom’s fog: hiding the nakedness with a little modesty. Immodesty can be wonderful however. Various scenes in a movie are made for steam. In that case, when a movie is steamy, it is said to have the hot humid heat of two people engaging in base animal instinct. Maybe there is something greater than that involved; maybe there is a deep connection that has been formed. In movies that is rarely the case however. Realism exists only in reality.
Outside of reality anything is possible. Entire background stories, far more interesting than the truth, can be formed. Conspiracy theories happen out of boredom. Nobody believes there is a conspiracy they want a conspiracy to be true, because without it life can be so utterly dreary. Darkness hides secrets and hides bodies. At night people turn off all lights because they want to disappear from the world for a few hours. Life can be too much for some people. That is the way reality works.
Blindness helps reality work. Machines require few inputs to really get going. Distraction does not exist for a machine. They always stay on task that is why humans built them, to clear their time to think about the big picture. Keepsakes seem quite antiquated keeping this in mind. With a greater amount of possessions comes a greater amount of inconvenience. Sadly this happens nearly all of the time. Getting slam dunked into a bed requires little to no effort. Individuals are happy about themselves in bed typically. Outside of bed the world is much more difficult which is why a twin bed is big enough for children, for college students, but as people get older they need more space to escape into.
Hair rocks, enough said. People can grow or not grow their hair as much as they want. Individuals might not be able to have it all but they can have hair. That is the ultimate benefit of hair time. Selling things is a great way to improve self-esteem that’s why people sell their time to various organizations in exchange for a thing called time. Cakes are great things to give to people in exchange for no job interview given. An interviewer would feel very guilty in not giving a person a job after receiving a cake. If the cake is big enough it can be a Trojan Cake with the ability to hold vast quantities of people.
Belief runs the world. With belief a person can be carried great distances without muscles without any kind of strain. Belief is the new faith, a carefully measured cautious kind of optimism.
thank you beach sloth
I have gazed the black flower blooming her animal eye. Gacela oscura. Negra llorona. Along the clayen banks I follow her-astonished, gathering grief’s petals she lets fall like horns. Why not now go toward the things I love? Like Jacob’s angel, I touched the garnet of her wrist, and she knew my name. And I knew hers— it was Auxocromo, it was Cromóforo, it was Eliza. It hurtled through me like honeyed-rum. When the eyes and lips are touched with honey what is seen and said will never be the same. Eve took the apple in that ache-opened mouth, on fire and in pieces, from the knife’s sharp edge. In the photo her fist presses against the red-gold geometry of her thigh. Black nylon, black garter, unsolvable mysterium—I have to close my eyes to see. Achilles chasing Hektor round the walls of Ilium three times. How long must I circle the high gate above her knees? Again the gods put their large hands in me, move me, break my heart like a clay jar of wine, loosen a beast from some darklong depth— my melancholy is hoofed. I, the terrible beautiful Lampon, a shining devour-horse tethered at the bronze manger of her collarbones. I do my grief work with her body—labor to make the emerald tigers in her hips leap, lead them burning green to drink from the violet jetting her. We go where there is love, to the river, on our knees beneath the sweet water. I pull her under four times until we are rivered. We are rearranged. I wash the silk and silt of her from my hands— now who I come to, I come clean to, I come good to.
Natalie Diaz, “Grief Work” (via commovente)
Prior to drowning, people shout in unison with their faith—little fetish objects around their throat—but do not stop the ship from sinking. ii. Even water has a pulse. It slows down in the absence of living, and competes with movements that have to do with survival. The body swells, like a blister. Its mouth—drunk and half-open—as if forestalled from calling a name. [...] In the end, not even the swollen tongue can fit itself back into the scheme of a mouth. To be part of the ocean is an experience in being. v. Once physical things have lost their function, they acquire a sorrow that belongs only to others. How soft, unborn the fingernails look now. And they say the last drink becomes a kind of love that remains independent of the body.
from Shipwreck by Arlene Ang
Menahem Kahana/AFP/Getty Images
An aerial view of sinkholes created by the drying of the Dead Sea, near Kibbutz Ein Gedi, Israel, on November 10, 2011.
“my vagina was green, water soft pink fields, cow mooing sun resting sweet boyfriend touching lightly with soft piece of blond straw. there is something between my legs. i do not know what it is. i do not know where it is. i do not touch. not now. not anymore. not since. my vagina was chatty, can’t wait, so much, so much saying, words talking, can’t quit trying, can’t quit saying, oh yes, oh yes. not since i dream there’s a dead animal sewn in down there with thick black fishing line. and the bad dead animal smell cannot be removed. and its throat is slit and it bleeds through all my summer dresses. my vagina singing all girl songs, all goat bells ringing songs, all wild autumn field songs, vagina songs, vagina home songs. not since the soldiers put a long thick rifle inside me. so cold, the steel rod canceling my heart. don’t know whether they’re going to fire it or shove it through my spinning brain. six of them, monstrous doctors with black masks shoving bottles up me too. there were sticks, and the end of a broom. my vagina swimming river water, clean spilling water over sun-baked stones over stone clit, clit stones over and over. not since i heard the skin tear and made lemon screeching sounds, not since a piece of my vagina came off in my hand, a part of the lip, now one side of the lip is completely gone. my vagina. a live wet water village. my vagina my hometown. not since they took turns for seven days smelling like feces and smoked meat, they left their dirty sperm inside me. i became a river of poison and pus and all the crops died, and the fish. my vagina a live wet water village. they invaded it. butchered it and burned it down. i do not touch now. do not visit. i live someplace else now. i don’t know where that is.”
My Vagina Was My Village, a monologue compiled from the testimonies of Bosnian women subjected to rape camps.
Ísland HEIMA (by Ana Carrera)
History will remind her of your eyes, so she will always hate history. She's not your kind of girl. She's the type to be bloomed and rung with bluebells, the cerulean will of belfries and flowers.
Not the animal hunger -- to take or be taken, and how else Gov’nor Houston, can you love? Lock her in a room without water? Show her the wound of your groin,
your black-feathered demon? Listen. What do you need a wife for? We could have something real. A hot land with crackling skin, in the crook of the South, where the sky
will blow with our black brains, where the battlefields will stare up as we peck their eyes, plant pecans, livestock, trash, the things that we will eat together.
from The Crow Proposes, by Geoffrey Heeren