An Analysis of Shawn Michaels as told by me
1.) Rockers Era (AKA He’s a Boy Toy)
Peak 80s fashion right there. Looks like he could be a backup dancer at a Wham! Concert. Not quite a twink, but not quite a twunk either.
2. Barbershop Era (AKA See! I just kicked Marty!)
Heel turn of the century. Performed the kick heard ‘round the world. But man, he looked good doing it.
3. The Sensational Sherri Era (AKA Bring it on Luger)
If people thought Lex Luger was full of himself during this time, I’d love to see what they thought of this Shawn era. While I would like to say this was the beginning of him not wearing full shirts, we saw the Rocker era Shawn.
4. The Heartbreak Kid Era (AKA He’s Just a Sexy Boy)
This era is Shawn bringing his attitude to the attitude era. This Shawn literally had 4 friends but pretty much the entire Hart family as enemies. But he still had a way with the crowd and looked damn good doing what he did best.
5. D-Generation X Era (AKA Put on this planet to make Vince’s life a living hell)
WCW had NWO, WWF(E) Had DX, and we think them for that. Them annoying Sgt. Slaughter, Bret Hart, Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and well, everyone, were enough to bring audiences in. Probably taught way too many kids to do crotch shots and to say suck it.
6. Commission Shawn Michales (AKA Michaels, Texas Ranger)
All business in the front, party in the backstage. The WWE was his playground. Gave us gems like Paul Bearer vs Big Show. And so began the era of Shawn very rarely being seen without a hat.
7. Rebirth Era (AKA Bring me my brown pants)
Got clean, found Jesus, and all was good. Except now feuding with his friends and friending his enemies. But Shawn had some really good matches and showed what he could really do when he wasn’t under the influence.
8. DX Return Era (AKA Get it on wweshop.com)
Can’t say suck it? No problem, that’s what the audience is for. Literally has the best running gag with Christmas promos and Vince’s love for…poultry. While NWO aged like milk, DX kept people loving them. Now, don’t forget to stop at the merchandise tent for your official D-Generation X toilet paper.
9. End of an Era (AKA He’s double your height, quit poking at him)
Shawn finally decided it was time to call it quits, and what a way to go out? By getting beat to a literal pulp by one of the most respected/feared men in the locker room. But the Heartbreak Kid never does anything half assed.
10. The Retirement Era (AKA If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire Shawn Michaels)
Need someone to Sweet Chin Music someone? Need an (un)biased referee? Need a coach for NXT? Better call Shawn. It wouldn’t be the WWE without him.
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