Dean’s POV :
“…Even if it kills me.
And some nights, it almost does.
Tonight’s one of them.
Because his shirt’s ridden up just enough for the swell of his belly to show—bare skin, soft and tight and flushed with warmth—and I don’t even realize I’m moving until my hand’s hovering an inch above it.
Not touching. Just… there.
Close enough to feel the heat.
Close enough that if I breathed a little deeper, my palm would brush him.
I don’t even know what I’d do if I let myself go there.
Just rest my hand? Slide lower? Press my lips to the center of him and whisper some fucked-up prayer into his skin?
I want to feel him flinch. I want to feel him react.
I want to feel him.
But I stop.
Right there.
Because the second I get that close, he makes a sound—a soft shift in his breath, a twitch of his fingers—and I freeze.
Not because I think he’ll wake up.
Because I know if he does, I won’t be able to lie about what I want.
And he’s too tired to have to choose between sleep and me.
So I pull back.
Barely. Just a breath’s worth of space.
I don’t touch him.
I don’t kiss the stretch of skin I’ve been staring at like it’s sacred.
Instead, I close my hand, press it to my chest, and count to ten like a fucking coward.
Because I’d rather ache like this than see him push through exhaustion just to give me what I want.
And God, I want.
So much I can’t see straight.
But I’ll wait.
I always wait for Sam.”











