CUNTY @imperfectionz - Tumblr Blog

Dear Mumma,

Your strength had me believe you were going to live forever. The days went by and I expected they would just keep coming.. Little did I realise that each day was such a gift; as life is a fragile, precious and unpredictable thing.

I want to thank you for the your warmth and always welcoming me with open arms. Your strength in raising this amazing man; he makes me happier than I ever dreamt I could be. You have helped to make him all he is today, and for that, I will forever be grateful. Thank you for everything you have done to love and support Lucy and Jenson and for always loving Amelia like she was one of your own. Your positivity was always admirable, your ability to provide such a great source of joy and always radiating kindness; you are truely a remarkable person.

Sunday the 11th of July, 2021.

Amongst the days of pouring rain and flooding.. The sun was shining today, the sky ever so bright and blue. You were surrounded by your loved ones, you were resting ever so peacefully; free from pain and suffering but slowly you drifted away.

It will be so hard to be here without your presence and support, but I promise to do everything I can for our family. We love you ever so much and we are going to miss you so dearly… the words can’t even quite describe it.

Rest In Peace beautiful ❣️

J

#fuckcancer

just-shower-thoughts

All it takes to do better than most other people is to do no harm. If you make just one other being’s life better, you are in the top 1%.

10/07/2021

My mind is racing, I am struggling to speak.. Words are rushing through my mind at 1000 mph. I know how unrealistic this sounds, but there is a feeling of words racing through a void where I am unable to understand them but I can see, feel and hear them. I have accepted hundreds of scenarios, ways I could help our situation and what everyone should be and shouldn't be doing.

The feeling of helplessness is rushing through my body, I am unable to sit still, focus or even breathe properly; Smoking and drinking seems to be all I want to do… Unless I can just sleep through this feeling. If it were possible to explain this feeling of anxiety; is like I am being threatened, tested or chosen to make a choice, like there could only be one outcome.. A 50/50 choice, you either win or lose. Is it possible to run away? Is there some kind of void where I can go? So I sit here asking myself WHY! Is there ever a realistic response? A right answer? Is there someone who knows more than I do? Could someone solve the puzzle of life? The question many people ask themselves.. Whether they believe them self to be a good person, or know a good person who may be struggling? Why do bad things happen to good people? I used to tell myself it was because good people were strong, we could overcome everything that was thrown at us. I believed I was that way.. Until I realized it isn't about personal strength at all.. We can believe as much as we want that our body may be invincible, but at the end of the day; if our body cannot cope anymore and fight whatever impurities have been trapped inside us, there is nothing but to ride through this torment; in hope that our loved ones will be there for us, forever love and cherish the memories of the wonderful person we are.

I hope that I may grow, learn, love and fulfill all my aspirations in life. I hope to have the opportunity to explore the world, appreciate my environment and be able to share these experiences with my children. That I am able to teach them the coping strategies to feel strong, unbreakable and empowered to deal with every situation they encounter. May my children always share kindness, share their understanding,do the right thing (even when it feels hard), love (especially themselves and our world) and focus on their personal health above all else, our bodies are our temple, if it were to stand for thousands of years, it must be build with the right supports and always be looked after.

JS