if i stumble they will eat me alive

Blog for an indie exiled Octoling officer, adapting to Inkopolis. Semi-selective

[incognitocto]

“Food delivery’s the best goddamn thing that the surface got, and this alone makes Inkopolis worth it.”

[incognitocto]

“...the more peeps go to explore the dreaded wastelands, the smaller the lines for Crusty Sean’s truck will be.”

“I count that as a fucking win.”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent​:

“I offer hugs and blanket burrito.”

“Sounds like a deal I can’t refuse.”

“I got one of them burrito blankets from the Interweb as well.”

[octo-agent]

“Hey, fuckers (affectionate). I’m not dead.”

[incognitocto]

“Good morning fucker, I’m still dead inside.”

[incognitocto]

“Okay RotomDex, tell me how to cope with the fact my favorite niece is leaving for Galar in less than one week.”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Sure thing. I’ll definitely ask if he wants a Double Burg, ‘cause I know I’m sure gonna want a Double Burg when I run out of candy.” That hopefully isn’t soon, but knowing Aria…

“I can be the same way sometimes. I like…I like focusing on one thing at once, it’s easier for me.”

“Call him before you run out of candy, because I gave you at least a month’s supply of sweets!”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Aw, I’d love to do that. Burger Burger is pretty nice.” Yes, that’s an actual restaurant in Inkopolis - what else do you expect from Inklings? “I try not to forget about anyone if I can. I try not to forget about anything at all, actually. Forgetting scares me a bit.” With the amnesia-related trauma she went through in the Metro, it’s hard to blame her.

“Weeks? That’s…that’s some impressive dedication. I threw this costume together in, like…a day or so? I just needed a fancy cloak and fangs.”

“I’m glad he gets to enjoy that. Hanging out with old friends is really nice.”

“Just drop him a text message if he doesn’t each out; he might not be excitable as you are, but I’m sure he’ll greatly appreciate a good Double Burg.”

“I’ve known him for over a decade, I know how he can get when he’s doing something he enjoys; he forgets everything else. Some people can get offended...some are not.”

“Yeah, you culd say he’s a....PER-FECTIONIST”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Aw, I’m glad he’s having fun, though. That’s…that’s what’s really important, I think. And, uh…I don’t need much space at all most of the time. I can be a little bit clingy, even. I definitely won’t mind getting a call or two from him.”

“I think that’s the best way he could carry on my mission. Bullies don’t deserve to have any candy at all, so…so I think they totally should be scared away. I bet he can scare them away just by staring.”

“I’m sure he’s gonna happy to do something with you, like going to Burger Burger, or something like that. Don’t worry; he didn’t forget about you!”

“He has been working on his costume for WEEKS, whenever he’s not at work or sleeping, he was on his sewing machine, making sure it was just *perfect*, because Bellwether will never half-ass something.”

“...he might also spend the night with his old friends too. It’s one of the rare opportunities they got to hang together now, and I want him to enjoy that, you know.”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Oh, you can totally have a hug.” Aria very carefully sets down the ridiculous amount of candy, then hugs Baptiste gently. “I’m…I’m glad Angelo is having fun, but…uh…is Perry alright? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Don’t worry too much for Per - he always loved sinking into his job; the commission takes a lot of his time, but he loves it. Per has...always been good at leading, at holding any form of responsability.”

“I’ll make sure to nudge him and tell him to call you, at least. Pretty sure he sorta miss you, but also wants to give you space and all. “

“Tonight...well, ain’t supposed to tell you this, but Perry is taking your vigilante mantle, on a different playground. He dressed up for the occasion, and is scaring away bullies. You know, the type of teenagers that scare kids to steal their candy. He’s dispensing justice."

Chuckles

“Wouldn’t want to be in these bullies’ shoes - Per’s tall and scary when he wants to be.”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Maybe next year! I can’t just go and bite someone who, like…just gave me a bag and a half of candy.”

“Can I have a hug, at least? I mean, my boyfriends aren’t home right now. Angelo is out being nice and helping kids trick-or-treating, and Perry is well...”

“...Perry is on a secret splatoween mission that I shouldn’t be telling you about.”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Heck yeah!” Aria laughs. “Thanks a ton, I’m gonna love all this candy so much. You’re spared from the bite of the vamparia this year.”

“That’s sad, I was looking forward to being seen as delicious. I even prepared some garnishes and all.”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Lemme guess. I’m the only one who’s ever achieved it? I…I don’t think there’s another me out there.”

“DING DING DING YOU WIN...another pocketful of candy!”

Baptiste just takes another shovelful from the other box and hands it to Aria...it’s not like squidkids really bothered to come all the way up there anyway.

[incognitocto]

"Treat or Trick. May I have a candy please."

“...that sure is a costume, right. Looks comfy”

Baptiste just looks at the approximative ghost and puts a handful of gummy candy in his bag

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Is worthiness decided by gayness, vampire-ness, or something else?”

“A secret factor few know about, known as *Arianess*.”

“Few know about it, and even less people can actually achieve it for eel.”

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“Oh, this is perfect!” This box is gonna last her like a month - hopefully. She really, really shouldn’t try to eat all of it at once. “This is how much candy everyone should hand out on Splatoween.”

“Well, I have another box this size for everyone else. :D I don’t think I should give a huge box to everyone that comes by; only to the worthy!”

[octo-agent]

incognitocto‌:

“If you demand candy with a please, I will oblige and give you this GIANT COASTCO BOX OF CANDY.”

“Can I pleeeease have the GIANT COASTCO BOX OF CANDY?”

[incognitocto]

“Yes”

GIANT COASTCO BOX OF CANDY GOTTEN!

It’s mostly fruity, sour and sweet gummies. Delicious. Normally, this is the kind of box a family would buy for a bunch of trick-or-treaters, but guess Baptiste got an extra for his favorite vampire.

[incognitocto]

octo-agent‌:

“I’m a force of nature and I demand candy.”

“If you demand candy with a please, I will oblige and give you this GIANT COASTCO BOX OF CANDY.”