incorrect ajsu quotes

The Dean is very bitter and petty. They don't have anything better than to shade and vague post about the staff and students.

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Jordan: Chillax

Joss: Chillax is not a word

Jordan: sometimes, those who deny Chillax needs to Chillax the most

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Joss: [sees crumpled list on ground, picks it up] Hey, cool, what's this?

Jordan: my to do list

Joss: Wow, you're being productive! Good for you! I never thought — this has my name on it

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Travis: Do you want something from the vending machine?

Xalah: Vengeance!

Travis: All they have is soda.

Xalah: Soda will do.

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Joss: Guys, don't mess with it. It's probably something that will trigger a series of events that will, on the whole, be an interesting and comedic adventure but will ultimately waste our Saturday.

Brandi: Joss is right, Xalah. Let's leave it alone.

*xalah is gone*

Joss: God. Dammit.

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Sammi: What’s the signal if something goes wrong?

Jordan: How about “Oh quiznak?”

Sammi: That’s good.

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Jordan, in a high voice, holding a Barbie: Hey Ken, I was thinking about, you know, maybe taking the year off? Going back to school and starting my career?

Sammi, in a deep voice, holding a Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Katya: Kids, what are you playing?

Jordan: Systemic Opression.

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Salinas: How come, whenever I have fun, it's wrong

Joss: People die when you have fun

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Katya: It's dark in here.

Sammi:

Katya: I'm not scared of anything. I'm tough.

Sammi:

Katya:

Sammi: Do you want me to hold your hand?

Katya: Oh thank the gods! I thought I was going to have to ask you.

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Yoongi: Nice hands, K.

Kevin: Uh, thank you?

Yoongi: I bet they’d look better wrapped around my-

Jordan: BIBLE! WRAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE. PRAISE THE LORD, AMEN.

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Jordan: Xalah, what do you think?

Xalah: I don’t know, man. I’m lost. The universe is a cruel and vexing puzzle. I’m at the whim of the cosmos.

Jordan:

Jordan: Alright. I’m gonna put you down for ‘Bummer’ and you can hang out in that category all by yourself.

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Dakota: xalah?

Xalah: Ding-ding.

Dakota: You're looking very alive.

Xalah: Ha! Only on the outside!

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Jordan: Don't fuck with me!

Jordan: *doing ninja moves with a broom*

Jordan: I have the power of god and anime on my side!

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Joss: Alright, good. Thanks Mom Everyone: …..

Xalah: You just called Reid ‘mom’. You said ‘Thanks, mom’

Joss: What? No I didn’t. I said ‘thanks Reid’.

Reid: Do you see me as a mother figure, Joss?

Joss: No! If anything I see you as a sister figure, because you’re always bothering me.

Fluff: Hey! Show your mother some respect!

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Reid: I can’t believe you and Sammi broke the bed last night!

Salinas: Must have been a wild night.

Katya: Haha… Yeah…

[Last night]

Sammi: Bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling!

Katya: Try me.

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Fluffles: will you drive me to Taekwondo?

Salinas: are you any good at it?

Fluffles: they're going to kick my ass

Salinas: Then yeah, get in the mini van

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Jordan: What is the leading cause of divorce in long-term marriages?

Joss: [sighs]

Jordan: A stalemate.

Joss: That's awful.

Jordan: ...You're awful.

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Salinas: Besides, I can't fall in love with anyone

Fluff: Can't... fall... in love? But, a life without love, that's... terrible...

Salinas: No, being on the street, that's terrible.

Fluff: No! Love is like oxygen!

Salinas: What?