incorrect house quotes

yes! another one! owned by a gryffindor who probably shouldn’t be spending all of her time here :) {banner by @rooonil-waazlib}

[incorrect-house-quotes]

gryffindor: we’re out of eggs again!

hufflepuff: it’s okay, there’s cereal

[later]

gryffindor, throwing cheerios at slytherin’s house: this sucks

[incorrect-house-quotes]

slytherin: god, if you're there, my name is stiles. if only one of us makes it out alive, please let it be me

ravenclaw: hey god, it’s me, raven. fuck slytherin

[incorrect-house-quotes]

hufflepuff: did it hurt?

gryffindor: *rolls eyes* lemme guess, when I fell from heaven?

hufflepuff: you just broke your arm, gryffindor

[incorrect-house-quotes]

ravenclaw: if you had to choose between gryffindor and all the money i have in my wallet, which would you choose?

slytherin: how much money are we talking about?

gryffindor: slytherin.

ravenclaw: sixty two cents.

slytherin:

slytherin: ill take the money.

gryffindor: SLYTHERIN!

[incorrect-house-quotes]

gryffindor: hey, slytherin and i were thinking about getting a big paintball game together.

hufflepuff: oh, gryff, why does she want to shoot you?

gryffindor: she doesn’t want to shoot me.

ravenclaw: who doesn’t want to shoot you?

gryffindor: slytherin.

ravenclaw: no, that doesn’t sound right.

[incorrect-house-quotes]

hufflepuff: *sits down* ahh, sitting down and touching warm rocks... that’s the life

ravenclaw: what are you, a reptile?

hufflepuff: what are YOU, a cop?

[incorrect-house-quotes]

slytherin: we need to get through this door. ravenclaw, give me your credit card.

ravenclaw, handing it to them: here.

slytherin, pocketing it: thank you. gryffindor, break the door down

[incorrect-house-quotes]

gryffindor: *runs into a glass door and knocks himself out*

slytherin: *turns around and speed walks away*

hufflepuff: hey, isn’t that your partner?

slytherin, hissing: shhh! lower your voice!!

[incorrect-house-quotes]

hufflepuff: help! i promised ravenclaw is make dinner tonight but i can’t cook

gryffindor, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: and you thought i could help?

[incorrect-house-quotes]

slytherin: i've only said "i love you" to three people in my whole life: my sister, hufflepuff, and a guy in a dark alley that i mistook for hufflepuff

[incorrect-house-quotes]

hufflepuff: what do bees make?

ravenclaw: honey?

hufflepuff: yes dear?

gryffindor: what do bees make?

slytherin: some stupid annoying sound what the fuck do you want?

[incorrect-house-quotes]

ravenclaw: i have very high standards.

hufflepuff: *trips over her own feet, drops a large pile of laundry, is unable to untangle herself from the clothes*

ravenclaw: oh my god she’s meeting all my standards

[incorrect-house-quotes]

kidnapper: we have your girlfriend

slytherin: i don’t have a girlfriend.

gryffindor, over the phone: *voice breaking* you don’t?

[incorrect-house-quotes]

slytherin: the stars are beautiful tonight

gryffindor: yeah

slytherin: you know what else is beautiful?

gryffindor: hufflepuff?

slytherin: hufflepuff

[incorrect-house-quotes]

ravenclaw, on the phone: gryff, the worst thing you can do in these situations is take matters into your own hands.

gryffindor: got it. *hangs up*

gryffindor, to hufflepuff: looks like we’re gonna have to take matters into our own hands.

[incorrect-house-quotes]

gryffindor: are you a thief? because you stole my—

slytherin: i'll give you your wallet back, i'm sorry

gryffindor: ...heart, what the fuck—

[incorrect-house-quotes]

hufflepuff: it’s not gay if i want to kiss gryffindor but as bros, right?

slytherin: i'm not an expert but that seems pretty gay.

ravenclaw: i’m an expert. that’s gay.