What Do You Mean It Isn't True? Of Course It Is!!!

Totally correct quotes that I didn't just make up.

[incorrect-is-correct]

Noctis: Welcome, fellow idiots

Iris: Hi~!

Nyx: Yo

Cor: Brat

Prompto: Hey, Noct!

Noctis: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Prompto: You underestimate me

[incorrect-is-correct]

Clarus: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Noctis, scoffing: Clarus, please, stop romanticizing the past.

[incorrect-is-correct]

Noctis: Am I going too far?

Prompto: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Noctis: Dad'll be happy.

Noctis: Or pissed, I dunno. It depends on how much I annoyed him today.

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Noctis: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Prompto: You're like 15 years old

Noctis: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

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Noctis: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Prompto: Only if you also don't ask why

Prompto: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Noctis:

Prompto:

Noctis: This one is fine

[incorrect-is-correct]

Noctis: Prompto... How do I begin to explain Prompto?

Noctis: Prompto is flawless.

Ignis: I hear their smile's insured for 500,000$

Gladio: I hear he does modeling... in Altissia.

Noctis: One time he LOOKED at me...

Noctis:

Noctis: It was awesome.

[incorrect-is-correct]

Noctis: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Prompto: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Noctis: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Gladio: Actually I did the math, Prompto would have $225, not $0.15.

Prompto: Fam I’m right here....

Ignis: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Noctis: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Ignis: Sorry I only have a dollar

Noctis: :(

Cor: Hey he's right, Prompto would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Ignis: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Cor: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Regis: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Cor: Apply juice to what

Gladio: Directly to the forehead

Prompto: Great chat everyone

[incorrect-is-correct]

Prompto, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Noctis: Hey.

Gladio : Hi.

Ignis: Hello.

Iris: Hey!

Prompto: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only.

Noctis, shrugging: Well dad wanted me to attend a party so...

[incorrect-is-correct]

Noctis: Croissants: dropped

Prompto: Road: works ahead

Iris: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Ignis: Shavacado: fre

Gladio : Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Cor: I understood all of that and I hate every single one of you.

[incorrect-is-correct]

*The squad is over at Noctis's house*

Prompto: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Noctis: ... N-No...

Noctis, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Prompto, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Ignis: I see a-

Noctis, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Prompto: Oh, well I-

Noctis: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Noctis, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Gladio : Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Prompto : Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Noctis: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Noctis: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Noctis, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Noctis: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Gladio, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Noctis:

Prompto: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Noctis:

Noctis, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

Noctis: Think of the HOT POCKETS I can make with these babies!

[incorrect-is-correct]

Noctis: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Prompto: Mmmmm...Nope! absolutely not.

Cor: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Ignis: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Regis: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you like the loving father that I am.

Clarus: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Noctis:

Noctis: Fair enough, I'd have done the same.

[incorrect-is-correct]

Noctis: We need to distract these guys

Prompto: Leave it to me!

Prompto: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Clarus, Ignis, and Regis: *Immediately begin arguing*

Cor: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

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Noctis : You kill people for money?!

Aranea: Uh...I can explain?

Noctis: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

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Prompto : Don’t worry, we know exactly what we're doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Nyx: How can you still say that?

Prompto, still grinning: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

[incorrect-is-correct]

Clarus: How many kids do you have?

Cor: Biologically, emotionally, or legally? Because Regis likes to keep tabs.

[incorrect-is-correct]

Clarus: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Noctis, scoffing: Clarus, please, stop romanticizing the past.

[incorrect-is-correct]

Gladio: What are your goals?

Prompto: To pet all the dogs.

Gladio: No, fitness goals.

Prompto To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.