Noctis: Welcome, fellow idiots
Iris: Hi~!
Nyx: Yo
Cor: Brat
Prompto: Hey, Noct!
Noctis: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Prompto: You underestimate me
d e v o n

⁂
Xuebing Du

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

izzy's playlists!

oozey mess
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YOU ARE THE REASON
taylor price
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almost home

JBB: An Artblog!

Love Begins
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Origami Around
$LAYYYTER

#extradirty
Keni

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@incorrect-is-correct
Noctis: Welcome, fellow idiots
Iris: Hi~!
Nyx: Yo
Cor: Brat
Prompto: Hey, Noct!
Noctis: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Prompto: You underestimate me
Clarus: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Noctis, scoffing: Clarus, please, stop romanticizing the past.
Noctis: Am I going too far?
Prompto: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
Noctis: Dad'll be happy.
Noctis: Or pissed, I dunno. It depends on how much I annoyed him today.
Noctis: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Prompto: You're like 15 years old
Noctis: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
Noctis: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Prompto: Only if you also don't ask why
Prompto: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Noctis:
Prompto:
Noctis: This one is fine
Noctis: Prompto... How do I begin to explain Prompto?
Noctis: Prompto is flawless.
Ignis: I hear their smile's insured for 500,000$
Gladio: I hear he does modeling... in Altissia.
Noctis: One time he LOOKED at me...
Noctis:
Noctis: It was awesome.
Noctis: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Prompto: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Noctis: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Gladio: Actually I did the math, Prompto would have $225, not $0.15.
Prompto: Fam I’m right here....
Ignis: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Noctis: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Ignis: Sorry I only have a dollar
Noctis: :(
Cor: Hey he's right, Prompto would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Ignis: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Cor: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Regis: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Cor: Apply juice to what
Gladio: Directly to the forehead
Prompto: Great chat everyone
Prompto, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Noctis: Hey.
Gladio : Hi.
Ignis: Hello.
Iris: Hey!
Prompto: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only.
Noctis, shrugging: Well dad wanted me to attend a party so...
Noctis: Croissants: dropped
Prompto: Road: works ahead
Iris: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Ignis: Shavacado: fre
Gladio : Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Cor: I understood all of that and I hate every single one of you.
*The squad is over at Noctis's house*
Prompto: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Noctis: ... N-No...
Noctis, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Prompto, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Ignis: I see a-
Noctis, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Prompto: Oh, well I-
Noctis: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Noctis, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Gladio : Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Prompto : Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Noctis: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Noctis: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Noctis, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Noctis: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Gladio, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Noctis:
Prompto: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Noctis:
Noctis, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
Noctis: Think of the HOT POCKETS I can make with these babies!
Noctis: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Prompto: Mmmmm...Nope! absolutely not.
Cor: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Ignis: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Regis: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you like the loving father that I am.
Clarus: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
Noctis:
Noctis: Fair enough, I'd have done the same.
Noctis: We need to distract these guys
Prompto: Leave it to me!
Prompto: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Clarus, Ignis, and Regis: *Immediately begin arguing*
Cor: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
Noctis : You kill people for money?!
Aranea: Uh...I can explain?
Noctis: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!
Prompto : Don’t worry, we know exactly what we're doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Nyx: How can you still say that?
Prompto, still grinning: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
Clarus: How many kids do you have?
Cor: Biologically, emotionally, or legally? Because Regis likes to keep tabs.
Clarus: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Noctis, scoffing: Clarus, please, stop romanticizing the past.
Gladio: What are your goals?
Prompto: To pet all the dogs.
Gladio: No, fitness goals.
Prompto To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.