Incorrect Offline TV & Friends

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[incorrect-offlinetv]

Poki: Rae, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

Rae: Ooh, someone’s in trouble.

Rae: It’s me. I don’t know why I did that. 

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Peter: So what do you have planned for the future?

Leslie: Lunch.

Peter: No, like long term.

Leslie: Oh… uh, dinner?

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Scarra: That is a nice ass shirt.

Toast: Thank you, but, to be honest, its called ‘pants’ not an ‘ass shirt’

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Ash: (About Miyoung) How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying gollly gosh isn’t really going to cut it Barbara!

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Janet: That’s not funny.

Rae: I thought it was funny!

Janet: You don’t count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

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Jacksepticeye: Can you keep a secret?

Sykkuno: Well, I’m good until I meet the next person.

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Miyoung: I wasn’t hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where the blood’s supposed to be!

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Jodi: You think you’re smarter than everyone else!

Toast: I don’t think I’m smarter than everyone else, I know I am.

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Lily: Michael, we tried things your way.

Michael: No, we didn’t.

Lily: I did it in my head and it didn’t work.

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Michael: It’ll be fun!

Michael: We’ll make it a boys day.

Michael: Come on you punk bitch.

Scarra: I can’t believe I have to say this.

Scarra: I don’t have time to get tested for STIs with you tomorrow.

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Sykkuno: What are we doing?

Corpse: Wasting our lives.

Sykkuno: I meant for lunch.

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Poki: *answers the phone* Hello?

Valkyrae: Its Rae.

Poki: What'd she do this time?

Rae: No, it's me, Rachel. It's actually me.

Poki: What did you do this time?

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Miyoung: I have edge! I do!

Leslie: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I have ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

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Toast: Alright, everybody in the car.

Lily: Can I be in the front?

Toast: Sure, whatever.

Michael: So how far away is Six Flags?

Toast: We're not going to Six Flags, we're going on a hit. Orders from the boss.

Michael: Oh. That's...strange, I-I could've sworn we were going to Six Flags, considering I'm aLREADY IN THE CAR AND WE'RE GOING TO SIX FLAGS!

Toast: Wait, what- NO!

(screaming as Michael and Lily drive off)

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Peter: Any idiot would know that.

Leslie: I knew that!

Peter: See?

Leslie: Yeah!

Leslie: Hey wait a-

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Toast: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

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Poki: But what about John?

Sydney: Don't worry about them.

Jodi: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.